Crystal Fortresses
by Genis Aurion
Summary: Two men seeking to save the future, driven by the burdens of their past: Perhaps they had more in common than Hope once thought. Post-game fic, Noel/Hope, contains game ending spoilers, ignores DLC.
1. The Beginning of the End of the World

**Crystal Fortresses **is a post-game fic that will contain spoilers from Final Fantasy XIII-2. It continues immediately after the game's official ending, thus it ignores the existence of all Paradox Endings.** This story will also ignore all information released via DLC (and _Lightning Returns_) unless otherwise noted**; because of the nature of DLC's staggered releases, it becomes difficult to twist the story's plot to adapt to newly revealed information, even if this story is meant to be a direct continuation of Final Fantasy XIII-2. (Though not strictly a canon continuation, this story will nevertheless aim to be realistic.)

This story features the development of the relationship between _Hope Estheim_ and _Noel Kreiss_, and the narrative will switch between that of these two characters; this story will not contain explicit material, though same-sex relationships will be portrayed once Hope's and Noel's friendship develops to that point.

This story is also a continuous work in progress. This means that, though new chapters may be posted, all content is subject to editing (for grammatical correctness, characterization, etc.), even after posting date. A notice will be made when this story has reached its final version.

Our story begins with Serah's and Noel's return to Bhunivelze in 500 AF, and it will start by summarizing/highlighting certain parts of the ending that this story builds upon later.

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><p><strong>Crystal Fortresses<br>**_Two men seeking to save the future, driven by the burdens of their past: Perhaps they had more in common than Hope once thought._**  
><strong>

Episode 1: The Beginning of the End of the World

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><p>They were falling from the sky at an alarming rate. Up until now, Noel would never have thought in all of their travels to be thankful for their gates being at ground level (except, perhaps, for the gate that had first brought him to Valhalla, though that was now but a distant memory). Why this gate had opened miles high into the air, Noel didn't know, and for a split second he wondered if even their Anti-Grav skill could help break this large of a fall.<p>

_At least it'll be our last_, Noel thought to himself.

Serah was falling somewhere above him, Noel could sense it. If he could manage, he would break his own fall and then catch Serah. If only Mog were blessed with extraordinary strength along with that strange ability to fly (the little guy had wings, but Noel was sure Mog never used them), maybe Noel wouldn't even have to worry about landing safely.

_How ironic would that be, death by falling from the sky? Of all the places in the timeline to die…._

But these worries were only in the back of his mind: Noel was being his usual self, cautious and guarded. In actuality, he couldn't stop himself from smiling. How could he not? They'd stopped Caius's schemes (though he was still shaken from Caius's last actions), they'd corrected the timeline, Serah hadn't seen any visions – there was much to be grateful for. The grounds of Gran Pulse were a welcoming sight, despite how quickly he and Serah were approaching them, and even more pleasing of a sight was the unharmed Bhunivelze afloat in the distance, proof that they'd truly triumphed and gone against the odds of time itself.

"Hey, look! The heroes are back!"

Noel smiled at the voice. He hadn't heard it much, but there was no denying a voice that distinct: Sazh. He must've vocalized this thought, for moments later Serah gave a soft noise of affirmation. Noel looked on as the airship grew closer, and he began to brace himself. His landing was slightly rough and he staggered a bit from the momentum he'd gained from the fall, but otherwise he landed safely.

"Nice catch!" shouted Noel, not really sure if Sazh could hear him. Noel supposed he could, though, as Sazh was soon greeting him warmly and welcoming him home. Noel then turned to Serah, catching her at the last minute with Mog joining them soon after.

"You're okay, now," Serah reassured the moogle. Not wanting to ruin the moment, Noel bit back the urge to ask if Mog had ever been in any real danger. Instead, he chose to pursue a more important issue: Serah's well-being. She'd been fine so far, but he was still slightly apprehensive. In correcting the timeline they had changed the future, so Serah was at risk of having visions. If she did experience visions, Noel hoped that nothing would follow, that Serah would be fine and not suffer like the Yeuls before her.

Noel was relieved to hear that Serah was still feeling fine, but his worrying did not cease. He hid his apprehension as best he could and followed Serah's gaze to the civilization on Gran Pulse below the airship. Sazh had grown quiet, he noticed; perhaps he was explaining something to Dajh. The ship had also stopped moving, though this didn't seem to bother Noel much – maybe Hope was on his way to meet them here.

"It'll be good to see everyone again," said Serah. Noel knew what it meant to Serah, to be able to see all of her friends again. If everything had gone according to plan, Hope would have successfully rescued Vanille and Fang, both whom he knew only by stories and legends. He wondered, vaguely, what had become of Snow, if Serah would be able to reunite with him. If the goddess was on their side, Snow would also have found his way to 500 AF much like Hope and Sazh had, though Noel did not know how the latter had managed to enter this era if he'd truly been one of the l'Cie with Serah and Hope.

More importantly though, Serah would be able to see her sister, which was significant not only because she loved her as much as she loved Snow but because her sudden disappearance from history was what had scarred Serah the most.

The two took in the scene before turning to the direction of Bhunivelze, and they managed a glimpse of the gate they'd passed through before it vanished completely. That was it, then. With the gates closed, it really was the end of their journey. Serah seemed to realize this as she glanced at Noel. He was caught by the combination of her eyes and her smile, something he hadn't truly had a chance to appreciate with the strain of their journey having always loomed over them. But with everything said and done he could tell that, even just by the look in her eyes, Serah was genuinely happy, if not relieved.

Noel barely had time to register that Serah was thanking him (_For what, _Noel thought to himself,_ if anything I should be thanking _her) before he noticed something was amiss.

"Serah!"

The sparkle in her eyes, which he'd witnessed only moments before, was now gone. Her smile vanished, suddenly she was experiencing palpitations –

"No, not now, please!"

But Serah was not responding. Noel panicked: The moment he'd dreaded had come, and much too soon had it come indeed. He watched helplessly as her eyes flashed, and because it was the only course of action that came upon his panicked state of mind Noel violently shook her in an attempt to wake her from her vision.

"Serah! Snap out of it! _No_!"

And just like that, Serah collapsed without warning. Noel reached for her, hoping to keep her upright, but she only fell limp against him. Her body gave way, eyes shut, breathing silenced.

She'd succumbed to fate.

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><p>Hope tried to meet Noel and Serah the soonest his team could afford his absence, not wanting to be scolded again by Serah for being too carried away in the excitement of seeing his goals realized. He owed her so much: were it not for her constant reminders, Fang and Vanille might not have been successfully rescued.<p>

He owed everything to her – Serah and Noel, both. Caius had been stopped from interfering with the levitation of Bhunivelze. The crystals of Vanille and Fang had been rescued and were kept intact. Everything was as they should have been, or at least Hope thought so. He trusted Serah would see everything to their end, just as she and Noel had trusted Hope in preparing for this day since their meeting in 10 AF.

Hope couldn't wait to greet them, to show Serah what he'd accomplished over the years. Sure, he hadn't yet accounted for Light or Snow, but he knew it wouldn't be long, now. Light no longer had to fight in Valhalla, if he understood everything correctly. And Snow… well, somehow Hope was sure that man wouldn't die. He only wished Snow was in a place where Serah could still reach him.

Sazh's airship remained stationed in mid-air, though from Hope's perspective it was fast approaching. Hope's eagerness got the better of him, and he jumped off before his airship had properly stopped. But something wasn't right. Noel was hunched over, and Hope could only guess he was holding Serah in his arms.

What could have happened? Perhaps Serah had landed on the wrong foot? Or maybe she had passed out from overexertion?

Mog was the first to notice his presence, but the moogle chose not to address him and instead floated away. That should have been the first sign, but instead Hope's attention was fixated on Serah. Her eyes were closed, and she did not seem to be moving.

_Please just be sleeping, __please just be_ –

"Noel?" But Hope did not need to ask any further, nor did he need Noel's slight shaking of his head to piece together what had happened. Though he tried convincing himself that Serah was only sleeping, Hope could not ignore all the signs: her lifelessness, the way Noel was cradling her, and Noel and Mog's despondence. Hope, too, felt a sudden sharpness from within his chest, an emotion he had not felt since he'd lost his mother.

"But why…?" Hope's frustration swelled. He couldn't understand what had gone wrong. Serah and Noel had arrived safely, everything had gone without complication…. There were so many things Hope hadn't had the chance to tell her or thank her for what they'd accomplished. He would never have the chance to repay her. Serah hadn't even been reunited with Light and Snow – this alone killed Hope's mood. Did Serah even get the chance to witness Bhunivelze afloat in the air? He owed her that, too; without her, without the Graviton Cores, Hope's ideas would have crashed to Gran Pulse along with the old Cocoon.

Hope vocalized these thoughts, though not to anyone in particular. But Noel answered him: His explanation was that they had changed the future, that their actions thus rippled up and down the timeline, and that the seeress was forced to see it all. Even still, Serah knew the risk, and she had altered the future knowing what it could do to her.

Hope watched as Noel held her helplessly in his arms, as he spoke of his now unfulfilled wishes of wanting to protect her. Noel was distraught, Hope could tell, as was he. Resentment, disappointment, frustration, grief. He wished he could find a tangible explanation for everything that had happened – since when had Serah been a seeress, had she been experiencing visions this entire time – but he had nothing. Fate was always cruel to him, as if every time he did something right for Cocoon, something or someone had to be taken away from him.

_But something tells me we won't have any chance of saving Serah. Not like Vanille and Fang._

If Hope were still his fourteen-year-old self he might've blamed Noel for what had happened to Serah, for having not protected Serah just as Snow hadn't protected his mother. But he knew they were entirely different circumstances, because Noel _had_ done everything in his power to protect Serah, and he _had_ protected her. If Serah really had died because of these visions of the future, then there was nothing anyone could've done – except not change the future at all, but Serah would not have had that.

Hope could not bear the sight any longer. It hurt too much. Serah had been a huge motivation in his research: Hope remembered their meeting at the Yaschas Massif, how happy he had been to be reunited with her again. He remembered how hard it had been for him prior to that moment, when everyone he knew had disappeared one by one – by the hand of the paradoxes, as he later learned. He remembered how Serah's ideals had inspired him to continue his research in the present time, even long after she and Noel had left him behind, with the assurance that together they were working for a better future.

_A future without Serah._

Hope turned away, catching a glimpse of a darkening sky before closing his eyes….

_…darkening sky?_

Hope straightened up once more and looked around. The sky appeared as if someone had completely blocked out the sun. Yet there was something eerie about the entire situation. Hope wished it were nothing, they didn't need anything else going wrong, but his instincts were telling him that something was about to happen.

What went wrong? Had they miscalculated somewhere through the years? Hope rarely made mistakes in his research… was there something in the timeline that had not been fixed?

Without warning Mog floated to the ground, no longer able to levitate. Hope managed to catch the moogle, who could only manage, "_The goddess… she has gone, kupo_," before falling limp. Hope panicked – he didn't really know much about moogles, more specifically how one could tell if a moogle was still conscious and if they even _could_ die – but he did not have much time to act. Hope barely registered what Noel said next (Hope thought he heard him say he had killed the goddess, but he couldn't have heard him correctly, as those words didn't even make any sense) before hell broke loose:

Gran Pulse below, Bhunivelze in the sky – everything as he knew it, engulfed in a strange unidentifiable aura.

"Uh, you guys?" Both men atop the ship were roused from their thoughts as Sazh's voice boomed through the air. "What now? What the hell's going on?"

"We need to get everyone to safety," said Hope, the first of the two to recover from his daze; Sazh's second question remained unanswered for the moment. Then, turning to the airship, he added, "There are bunkers and emergency shelters on Bhunivelze, we can head there first. I'm not familiar with what the Pulsian cities have developed over the years – "

"There's no stopping the chaos," said Noel quietly. There was something about him that was bothering Hope. From their previous meetings, Hope had always seen Noel as a character of confidence and determination. He'd never seen Noel so pessimistic. (Though, Hope reminded himself, Noel was still grieving for Serah. He prayed it would not get Noel killed.)

"I know," said Hope, "but we have to do what we can."

Hoping his words would set in Noel a little, Hope continued on. "I'll take my ship back to Bhunivelze to advise the Academy on our course of action. Despite the technological advances we've achieved, I can't say we've got anything to combat – "

"Get to the point, we're wasting time." Hope smiled inwardly: Even if only a little, Noel seemed to be regaining some vigor. "Just tell us what we need to do."

"You, Noel, are coming with me," said Hope. His eyes met Noel's for a fraction of a second before Hope turned away, continuing in a louder voice: "Hey Sazh, I need another favor: Can you descend to the Pulsian city? Someone needs to inform them of the situation. If they have some sort of evacuation plan, help them evacuate."

"Roger that," came Sazh's voice. "Just tell me when you've boarded your airship so we can be on our way." Hope nodded, then belatedly remembered that Sazh could not see his physical acknowledgement. After verbalizing his actions Hope tugged on Noel's sleeve, signaling for him to follow.

"What about Serah?" Noel asked, turning to Serah's body which lay undisturbed on the ground. "We can't leave her."

"We'll take her with us," said Hope, not sparing her a glance. He was still unable to look at her. "Can you carry her?"

"Yeah, I've got her." Noel then bent over and picked her up, cradling her in his arms as he turned back to Hope. Hope offered him a weak smile before slowly walking away, with Noel close behind.

"Sazh, go!" Hope yelled once they were both safely aboard the other airship, and not even a second had passed before Sazh was off.

"He better make it okay," Noel muttered to himself, watching the airship descend into the chaos below. Hope heard him, and with his head bowed he wished Sazh all the best. He wasn't sure how he would feel if he were to lose yet another friend. He knew Sazh was strong, but then so had been Serah… and his mother.

"What about Light?" asked Hope suddenly, turning to Noel as their own ship began to make its way back to Bhunivelze. When Noel did not respond right away, Hope feared the worst.

"Caius said…" Noel began slowly, drawing in a breath; "…Caius said he defeated Lightning… in Valhalla."

Hope bit his lip; he knew where this was going, and he almost wished he hadn't asked….

"And did he?"

"I don't know. I thought he was bluffing, but after this…."

Hope frowned. Noel was hiding something from him, Hope could tell simply by looking at him. Hope supposed he would have to get it out of Noel later, especially if it were something important.

"So she's not…" started Hope, and Noel nodded curtly.

"Time doesn't pass in Valhalla. Even if we did correct the timeline, somehow I don't think she'd come back…."

"And correcting the timeline… means this?" asked Hope as he nodded at the greenish aura surrounding them. He was surprised when Noel shook his head – had the timeline _not_ been corrected, then? – but when Hope tried to get more out of him, Noel only hung his head and said nothing more.

Hope sighed. Overcoming the collapse of Cocoon had been a challenge enough. Dealing with the aftermath would certainly be a taller order.

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><p>The airship reached Bhunivelze not long after having split ways with Sazh. The city they arrived in reminded Noel vaguely of the first Academia he'd visited with Serah (Hope did mention the city's name, though Noel hadn't paid enough attention to remember it), and while this city did without the wandering Cieth Noel wasn't sure if the chaos was any better. It was an otherwise beautiful city, really, and it held all the magnificence that Academia once had. But there was an eerie presence within the city, something that gave him an unsettling feeling, and it kept him on edge.<p>

Hope wanted to show Noel to his home, but Noel refused the offer outright and convinced Hope that he was needed at the Academy. There was a slightly pained expression upon Hope's face after hearing these words, but he eventually gave in; as a result, Hope sent Noel off on his own, and Noel was only given a set of directions and a vague description of the building to work with.

Noel must have looked strange running around the foreign city with an unconscious girl cradled in his arms, but he didn't care. Nor did anyone else, for that matter: The citizens appeared too busy panicking. (It was that or, given the recent developments, Noel represented the norm.) Noel highly doubted that he would be able to find any peace and quiet to grieve for Serah properly, especially not after watching the people around him run amok.

He found Hope's house after what felt like an eternity, though in reality only half an hour had passed at most. It was a humble, one-story abode of simplistic design. Noel wasn't expecting such a structure, as the stone walls were in stark contrast to the more futuristic designs of the surrounding buildings; he supposed the disparity was because in the construction of Bhunivelze there was a greater focus on ensuring its levitation rather than minor, architectural details.

Noel was surprised to find no problems with opening the door, though he didn't question it too much. He left the door slightly ajar to let in whatever light remained outside, and in the dimness of the building's interior he found a bed, presumably Hope's. He lowered Serah onto it carefully, not letting go until he was sure she was properly and comfortably resting.

Even with limited lighting, the sight of Serah resting motionlessly pained Noel. He couldn't tell if she was still smiling; he vividly remembered the bright smile she had offered him before experiencing her last vision. Though he did not want to admit it, Noel was somewhat relieved that she'd passed away_ before_ the chaos had been born: to Serah, their efforts had not been in vain. The only thing that would have hurt Noel more was if Serah died knowing her best efforts had not saved the world as she'd so desired.

Saving the future, saving the world – it seemed futile, now. Noel had regrets. He should not have let Serah convince him to finish what they'd started. Maybe he would've been happy living in his dream forever? – Noel would never know, now. But was this chaos truly a better future than the lifeless era without humanity which he had to endure alone? Had he only brought about the worst for an entire population?

And Caius. _Caius_. Had he known all along? Had they played right into his hands? But he had warned them, he had told them what he'd done… Noel had just called it all a bluff….

_And I… I killed…._

He could not bring himself to say it. Noel knew he was responsible. But how else, then, could he have stopped Caius? There had been no way of knowing that stopping Caius would mean giving birth to a new evil. And now….

"Serah…."

Noel stood up. He did not want to stain Serah with his tears. He wanted them to stop, but they wouldn't. To how many people had he made the promise of keeping Serah safe? He had made that promise to her friends in New Bodhum, who may have spent their whole lives waiting for Noel and Serah to return through that gate, and though her friends were hundreds of years before the present time now it hurt Noel to know he had still let them down. He had also made that promise to Snow, wherever along the timeline that reckless guy had landed himself in. How could he even face Snow, let alone bring to him the news?

Noel was so caught up in his own emotions that he did not hear the front door opening, nor did he hear his voice being called. Noel only came to his senses when the lights in the room were turned on, nearly blinding him.

"How's she – whoa!"

Clearly, Hope had not expected Noel to turn one of his swords on him. It took Noel a second longer to name his visitor before lowering the sword.

"Sorry, I wasn't expecting you."

"I could tell." Hope hung his head. "How's she doing?" he asked again, and Noel gave a shrug.

"She's dead, Hope. I don't think she'll get any better. We made it here unharmed, if that's what you were asking." Noel did not mean to sound cold, but then again there were a lot of things he didn't mean. Things that happened anyway. "What's the damage outside?"

"A state of emergency was just declared," said Hope. As he passed, Hope gently placed Mog on the bed next to Serah. "We don't really know what we're facing yet, and despite the violent winds and the sudden darkness we haven't had any major problems."

"You're dealing with Valhalla," said Noel. "The unfathomable chaos contained there, it should never have entered our world."

"I know." But there was something about his face that told Noel he really didn't. "But we have no idea if we're dealing with monsters, or an epidemic, or… you get the idea. So there's no clear course of action, because there's no real safe place to hide from something that's present everywhere. But just as a precaution we're evacuating everyone to the bunkers."

"So… why are we still here?" Noel asked curiously. He turned to Hope; in his hand was a boomerang, much like the one he'd used when they first met. "Why haven't we evacuated?"

"Sazh is meeting us here. He's not very acquainted with Bhunivelze, let alone the bunkers, so I wanted a place close to port. I wanted someone to be here to meet him, in case I didn't get here soon enough."

Hope paused for a moment, as if contemplating a painful thought, before continuing, "Then, there's Serah. We likely won't have any peace to give her a proper burial, so I thought you could use the time alone, I guess. I likely won't be returning to this house, so we could even let her rest here, if you know what I mean. I know it's not much – "

"She'll appreciate the thought, I'm sure of it." Noel caught Hope's gaze as the older man turned to him. "If we get through this somehow… we'll do it properly."

Hope nodded and turned away, and Noel turned back to Serah and the resting moogle. Mog. He hadn't thought to ask, nor did he know if Hope knew, but….

"Mog's fine," said Hope, as if having read Noel's thoughts. "My guess is that he drew power from the goddess Etro, hence his severely weakened state. But he's alive, if not asleep. We might have to start carrying him around from now on."

Noel was pained upon hearing this particular revelation; only moments ago, Noel had been teasing the moogle for that ability to 'fly,' and now Mog no longer could.

"There're a lot of things right now that are making my head hurt," continued Hope. "The Academy of this era has been relatively accepting of me – and by that, I mean they were okay with letting some guy from centuries in the past direct them. They treat me like I'm some revered hero. They seemed to believe me when I explained to them what was going on, that the chaos had nothing to do with us levitating Bhunivelze. This said…."

Here Hope trailed off, and Noel didn't need to look at the man to figure out what the man wanted.

"You want to know what happened."

Hope nodded. "What _did_ happen? Everything seemed fine. I know you changed history, but for something like _this_ to have occurred…."

Noel sighed. This certainly was not what he and Serah had set out to do. They were correcting the timeline for the better – and Yeul had foreseen it. And maybe things would have been that way, had Caius not….

_Caius._

"I never wanted to kill Caius," Noel said at last. "I wanted to stop him, but I could never kill him, not even after we defeated him in battle. Even when he targeted Serah and threatened to kill her, I still couldn't. But Caius… Caius believed that if Yeul kept coming back because of him, only to die again, then he needed to die so she wouldn't come back to die again. So he… he took my sword and…."

Noel made a stabbing motion to his chest; he could not bring himself to say it in words.

"But how does that explain what's going on now? Did his death bring about…" – here, Hope made a waving motion with his hand – "…all this?"

Noel nodded solemnly. His next sentences were swallowed by his inability to come to terms with reality. "Inside Caius… the Heart of Chaos. And Etro's…."

"Etro?" asked Hope, but Noel did not finish. "Etro's… what? Noel, what –"

But Hope was stopped there, for Sazh's voice suddenly rang through the house, his voice dripping with alarm.

"Hey! You guys in here? We've got trouble."

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><p><strong>Chapter Posted: <strong>05 Feb 2012  
><strong>Last Edited: <strong>07 Feb 2014

_Upcoming: The Academy takes action; Hope asks a favor from Noel._


	2. Supersoldier

_In the previous episode, Noel returns from his fight with Caius, only to witness Serah's unexpected passing. In his grief, the world is suddenly consumed by what he knows well to be Valhalla. As he tries to combat both grief and shock, Hope brings them to Bhunivelze, where they lay Serah to rest upon his bed. Any peace they can offer her is suddenly interrupted by Sazh, who has come bearing troubling news…._

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><p><strong><strong>Crystal Fortresses<br>****_Two men seeking to save the future, driven by the burdens of their past: Perhaps they had more in common than Hope once thought._

Episode 2: Supersoldier's Last Grace

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><p>Sazh wasted no time, and for good reason. Hope and Noel listened intently as Sazh began to explain the situation with occasional help from Dajh. The Pulsians, it seemed, were not so keen on unprecedented phenomenons with far-fetched explanations, and they did not take Sazh's news as warmly as the Academy had to Hope's. Sazh had already found the city in a state of panic, and what Sazh had to say only made things worse, if they would even listen to him at all. With relations between Gran Pulse and Cocoon already strained over the course of hundreds of years, the chaos was certainly enough reason for the tension to snap.<p>

"Basically, they're blaming the Academy for the catastrophes," summarized Sazh, receiving grim responses from his small audience. "Say the Academy stuck its nose in places it didn't belong."

"So what you're saying is, they're hostile," said Noel, and Sazh gave a short nod. Noel frowned at this news. From what he'd gathered during his travels, he would've expected things to be the other way around. Hadn't Gran Pulse been the more progressive faction, while Cocoon had held in their traditional ways? Perhaps something had happened during the gap of years he missed.

"Daddy did a really good job fighting them off!" said Dajh, and he lifted his hand into the air in imitation. "Bang! Bang!"

"_What_?" Hope asked, looking alarmed. "They opened fire? Blaming us I can understand, but…?"

Though Noel was alarmed by this news, he knew it wasn't actually as absurd as it sounded. He'd heard something like it before.

"Wasn't quite like that, but more or less," said Sazh. He shrugged, grunting to himself as he shook his head. "They're convinced that the madness will stop if they take down the Academy. Get rid of the perpetrator, get rid of all this chaos. Yeah, like that'll solve anything."

"So a war on two fronts, huh," said Noel dryly. "It's just Paddra all over again. We'll wipe ourselves out before Valhalla does."

"Well not necessarily," said Hope, waving a finger. "For Paddra, the demise of the nation that Yeul foresaw _was_ the civil war that broke out. The prophecy itself was the catalyst in what the prophecy foretold."

"Say _what_?" asked Dajh, who was clearly puzzled, causing Hope to chuckle before responding.

"It's hard to explain. Basically, this is a different circumstance, but the rationale is the same. People panic, fear for their life, quick to jump to conclusions: They fight. It's just how humans are."

"And it's the last thing we need," said Noel. "It's hard enough."

There was a long pause between the four present in the room. Noel ran several scenarios through his head, searching for any possibility that might get them out of this mess. Fighting the people of Gran Pulse would be unnecessarily difficult. Humans were too stubborn, that war would never end. But protecting a nation from an unseen menace no one knew anything about? That would be like trying to find a knife in the dark.

It was Hope who spoke first after the silence.

"Does the Academy know about this yet?"

"Well I was hoping you'd tell 'em, actually," said Sazh, frowning. "I'm not really much of anybody to the Academy in this era."

"I see." Hope sighed, looking between Sazh and Noel. Then, as if not having understood Sazh's rationale, he said to the older man, "In that case, Sazh, do you mind going ahead? There's something I still need to ask Noel."

Noel shifted uncomfortably. Hope probably wanted their previous conversation finished. Honestly, Noel wasn't sure if he was up to it: It still hit too close to home. But if anyone needed to know what had happened, he knew it would be Hope.

"Guess it wasn't enough to just tell you, huh," said Sazh. "All right, tell me what I gotta do."

Hope laughed, amused with the response. "Relax, Sazh. I just need you to find someone for me. Head for the tall building, I promise it'll make more sense once you're outside. Once you're inside, look for the Director of Research. She's a very lively character, you can't miss her. Tell her Director Estheim's called for a Code Zero Three. She should know what to do. Tell her I'll be there shortly."

A very lively character… did Hope mean Alyssa?

"Roger that." Sazh gave Hope and Noel both a wave, calling for his son before making his leave. Thereafter a silence fell upon the room, to Noel's surprise; Noel was sure Hope would've immediately continued their conversation where they'd left it, before Sazh had interrupted, but Hope remained silent in the Katzroys' absence and appeared buried in his thoughts.

Noel did not want to be the one to start that conversation, but he knew their silence was only wasting them precious time. He began to look for something, _anything_, that would help them pick up the conversation so that he could quickly send Hope on his way.

_Alyssa._

"Is Alyssa still your assistant?"

Hope frowned at the name. Not the reaction Noel had expected.

"Alyssa?" Noel had only wanted to give Hope a starting point, but instead he started an entirely different conversation. "I… no. My assistant is Dr. Ellen Haussen. Or well, kind of. Strictly speaking she's the Director of Research of this era, so she's actually my superior. She insisted I was more qualified and that I take over her duties, so informally she serves as my assistant. She's a very energetic person, almost like … caffeine in human form."

"Caffeine in human form…?" echoed Noel.

Hope nodded, his expression noticeably more grim. "Yes, but back to the topic. There's something I want to ask you."

"Is it about the goddess?"

Hope shook his head. "It's not that… though you'll need to explain that one to me later, I still don't understand." Hope paused to pocket his boomerang. His eyes darted quickly to Serah, and Noel made the mistake of following his gaze. A sudden, stray thought came to mind: What if Serah would be reborn too, like Yeul? But the thought was extinguished as quickly as he'd thought of it. Even _if_ she were reborn, which now sounded completely ludicrous, she wouldn't be the same Serah, just as no Yeul had ever been the same.

Perhaps Noel was just desperate.

He turned back to face Hope, who was gathering things from various places in his room. In his hands was a pouch, which he was now filling with various things.

"So… what was it you wanted?"

"Oh, right." Hope cleared his throat as he strapped the pouch to his utility belt. "The first thing I wanted to ask: When you and… when you and Serah were traveling together. Did either of you use magic?"

Noel stared blankly at Hope. "Yeah. We both did. Why?"

"I thought so. Interesting…." The explanation that followed was easy enough for Noel to follow, thankfully. There had been a time in which l'Cie were the only ones to use magic, and it was during this time when Hope had grown quite proficient with magic. As a result, when Hope was freed from his fate as a l'Cie, Hope had assumed his ability to wield magic had left him also.

"As much credit as everyone gives me, my research isn't as extensive as I wish it were. I've heard rumors of regular people on Pulse accidentally using magic, but I didn't really have time to look into it. But if it's really true that you both used magic…"

"It is."

Hope nodded slowly, glancing again at Serah. "I want you to help me to use magic again. I haven't really tried on my own, to be honest, but… I want to – no. I_ need_ to be able to protect those important to me, and I honestly doubt this boomerang will stand much chance against anything we're going to be facing."

Noel did not know how to respond. He had never really paid attention to his magic usage before. Even Serah had already been using magic when they'd first met, so he hadn't had a reason to question it before. How, then, was he supposed to reteach Hope how to use magic, if he didn't really understand it himself?

"I can try," was what Noel finally managed, and Hope appeared grateful nonetheless.

"Thank you, it really means a lot to me." Hope heaved a sigh, his gaze not leaving Serah. Noel could sense there was something else on Hope's mind, something that hadn't been mentioned to him, but Hope spoke again before Noel had the chance to ask. "We'll have time later. We really need to be going."

"Right…." Sazh would have found that woman by now, and Hope's presence would soon be needed. Noel knew Hope was right, that they would need to be leaving soon. But leaving Hope's home meant leaving Serah. It would be a huge step in moving on, but was Noel really ready to let go?

Hope seemed to sense Noel's hesitation. "Hey," he offered, "it's not goodbye, remember? We're coming back for her."

"I know, it's just…" but Noel didn't really have an argument.

Hope smiled, albeit weakly. "If it's any comfort at all… Snow was exactly the same as you, back when we'd just been turned into l'Cie. He didn't want to leave Serah alone in her crystallized form. But Light… she told him that if he stayed with Serah, her sacrifice would have been in vain. He'd have been captured, he'd have been killed – and Serah would not have wanted that."

"I'm not like Snow," Noel said quietly. It was all he could think about after having heard Hope's anecdote. He couldn't say he hated Snow as he once did, but Noel still held firm in their differences.

"I never said you were," said Hope with a laugh, though Noel wasn't sure why Hope had laughed. "I see I'm not the only one who dislikes Snow?"

"He's too reckless," said Noel, and Hope rolled his eyes and nodded in agreement.

"Tell me about it. Snow didn't even listen to Light's advice back then. In retrospect, I can respect Snow for staying by Serah's side. By some miracle he lucked out, running into the only military faction that didn't want him publicly executed. But that's not the point I'm trying to make." Hope gave a nervous laugh as he shook his head. "It's hard for me too, Noel. I don't want to leave Serah here, especially not like this. But some things, you just do. We'll come back, when this is all over."

"Right…." Noel closed his eyes and bowed his head. Hope could allow him one last prayer, if there was any deity left to pray to. He took Hope's silence as permission, so as he bit his lip he concentrated on the words that dwelt in his heart:

_Serah… I'm sorry. But everything will be okay. I promise._

* * *

><p>Hope waited for Noel just outside his house, the sleeping Mog resting lifelessly in his embrace. Darkness was settling about him, but he wasn't paying much attention to it. He was too consumed with his thoughts. A part of him wanted to stay with Serah, too. Hope had a certain attachment to those close to him; initially this had only included his mother, but later the extent of his attachment reached his father and the other once-l'Cie, and now Serah and Noel. Familiar faces kept him grounded in reality, for in a familiar world in a foreign era Bhunivelze was home yet anything but home.<p>

Hope knew he should've been giving Serah his parting words, too. But Noel needed his space and goodbyes were difficult affairs, and there was still too much he wanted to say to her. Besides, he knew she would always be with them, if not only in spirit. If Hope ever did figure out how to concisely give her his last words, he was sure she would be right there watching over them, ready to listen.

Hope was also bogged down by the unexpected mention of Alyssa. He wondered if Noel knew of her betrayal. Alyssa had been found out mere hours after Serah and Noel's departure one hundred years ago, after they'd already passed into the gate that had evidently been a trap. Hope had been shocked, as he had trusted Alyssa almost as much as he'd trusted Serah, even if he'd always had his suspicions about her demeanor. Hope had traveled a great many years with her, and she'd been the only familiar face in the era in which they had arrived. Naturally, Hope had confided in Alyssa.

That had also been the last he'd seen or heard of Snow. Snow had been the one to expose Alyssa, apparently with the initial intention of saving Serah; he'd burst into headquarters accompanied by Academy forces and had told Hope the truth, that Alyssa had delivered Serah and Noel right into Caius's hands. Immediately the anger roused by Snow's recklessness had dissipated, for panic had taken hold of Hope. But Snow's revelations had not ended there: What had hurt Hope the most from Alyssa's betrayal was that if Alyssa had not been arrested – and it could have still come to pass, if Hope had not watched himself – he would have been assassinated in three days' time.

Snow had wanted Hope to stay alive. Naturally Hope could say the same for Snow, even if he didn't quite approve of Snow's methods, but Hope had been in too much shock to argue against anything Snow had to say. So, Hope had complied with Snow's plans: after making one last round to make sure all preparations were underway, Hope had entered the time capsule once more. The capsule, set to release its occupant shortly before Bhunivelze's levitation one hundred years into the future, had been locked within a secure room to protect Hope from any further attempts of sabotage; the room could only be opened by either a physical key – which only Hope held – or by a eight-digit pass code, which had been lost in time along with Snow.

Though these events had occurred within a span of a century, to Hope it was as if they happened only days ago. Nevertheless, it was still the past. Hope guessed Noel didn't know any of this, and he decided it was a burden Noel did not need to bear. If he remembered correctly Noel took his friendships to heart, as he'd come from an era where he'd been the last of humanity. Hope recalled something Serah had said once in passing, that Noel trusted everyone because his distrust had once cost another hunter his life. It was this virtue of Noel's that Hope did not want to taint.

As for Snow… Hope supposed he owed him for saving his life twice, now. Snow hadn't changed, and his recklessness still ticked Hope off more than ever – but Hope couldn't deny that Snow was someone he held close to his heart. He'd already lost Serah – he gulped down a lump of bitterness at the mere thought of this – and if Noel's words were true then he'd also lost Light. _Light_, of all people, the one person he thought could be invincible, or at least as his fourteen-year-old self would've claimed.

Hope didn't want to admit it, but he was desperate for news of Snow's well-being. In whatever timeline Snow found himself in before the gates had all been closed, Hope wished Snow were safe.

"Didn't realize you left," said a voice suddenly. Hope knew the voice, though its suddenness still caused him to spin around in his surprise. Noel was standing at the door, a solemn expression still upon his face.

"I thought you might want some time to yourself," replied Hope.

"Thanks. But, you aren't going to say goodbye?"

Hope sighed. He knew he needed to, but goodbye was still too difficult for him. It took him years and years to recover from losing his mother at such a young age, and with her body lost beneath rubble he never had the opportunity to visit her as he'd been able with Vanille and Fang. Hope was also fearful that, were he to be given the opportunity to stay with the deceased, he would never let that opportunity go: If Hope didn't leave Serah now then he might never leave, and if he was going help protect the future Serah had sacrificed herself to save, as bleak of a future as it seemed presently, then Hope _needed_ to leave.

"I'll see her again," was Hope's eventual response, and it seemed enough for Noel.

"Right. Shall we, then? I'll talk, you lead the way." Hope nodded, clearing his mind as best he could. They needed to get to headquarters, which was a bit of a walk, but nothing either man couldn't manage. It wasn't a particularly difficult walk, either; Hope meant what he had said to Sazh, Academy headquarters really was the tallest and most distinguished building within the vicinity.

As Hope took the lead, his walking pace slow so Noel didn't get lost in the darkness, Noel began to speak.

"There's something that's been bothering me about this whole situation, Hope. It just… doesn't fit the description."

"What do you mean?" asked Hope, puzzled by the nature of their sudden conversation. "What context is this, may I ask?"

Noel continued, though he did not directly answer Hope's concerns. "The power contained within Valhalla is supposed to be an unfathomable force: true chaos, something that shouldn't exist in our world. It seemed right earlier, when all this began. But now… it's more darkness than chaos, if you could even call this chaos at all. If the chaos of Valhalla entered our world even for a moment, it's gone, or perhaps moved elsewhere."

"Moved elsewhere?"

Noel shrugged. "I couldn't think of how else to explain it. I just can't _feel _it anymore."

Hope gave no immediate response, allowing the thought to settle. He _had_ noticed the situation had calmed down a little. At the least, they'd had enough time to rest a bit at his house without anything terrible happening. Bhunivelze on the whole appeared to be in better condition and not as he'd first witnessed it from the airship.

Maybe Noel did have a point. But then… why?

"I might need you to repeat that theory later," said Hope. Perhaps Dr. Haussen would have something to say on the matter. "As you probably guessed, we're reporting for a strategy briefing. Everyone needs to be on the same page, and as much as I would rather not force you out of your comfort zone, this includes everything you and Serah have done since you left us one hundred years ago. You and Serah have appeared everywhere throughout the timeline, and I can't say you've gone unnoticed because you haven't. Your goals are everyone's goals now, and if we're all on the same page we can work more efficiently at whatever it is we need to get done."

"I understand."

Hope blinked; he hadn't expected Noel to agree so willingly, not after their most recent discussion where Noel had struggled for words.

Hope continued, "I think Dr. Haussen would have a thing or two to add to your theory. I missed a lot during the last one hundred years, and I'm sure she has more practical explanations that anything I could offer right now."

"I see." They remained in silence for several moments, their rhythmic footsteps the only noises between them. Hope tried to think if there was anything else that needed to be said but could think of nothing. Noel, however, seemed to be throwing every question that came to mind at Hope.

"Who else will be there?"

"Besides us? Sazh will report his experience with the people on Gran Pulse. Dr. Haussen will be there, as well as several other military figures, including Colonel Euledin."

"How much further?"

"We're almost there."

"What happened to Vanille and Fang?"

"Safe and fully accounted for, so I hear. Relax, Noel, you'll get your chance to hear everything at the briefing." Thankfully, they arrived at headquarters not long afterward, so Hope was spared from further questioning. They were greeted by Dr. Haussen, who appeared to have waited for them by the building's entrance. She was a shocking mix of Fang and Vanille; she took on Fang's wild appearance, most notably her untamed hair (though this was by choice), while her bubbly and overly cheerful demeanor reminded Hope of Vanille. Despite these characteristics, Dr. Haussen knew when to be professional, which Hope had only witnessed once so far since his arrival.

Their greeting was short, a simple handshake sufficing.

"Noel, this is Dr. Ellen Haussen," said Hope, gesturing toward their new companion. "Dr. Haussen, this is – "

"But of course I know all about Noel," the woman interjected, and she took Noel's hand and shook it enthusiastically. "Hero of the day, am I right? I'm sorry to hear about your friend – but what am I thinking? There's time to talk later. Everyone is waiting for us."

"Everyone?" asked Hope, raising a brow, and Noel gave her an equally bemused look.

"Ah, you know, the usual," said Dr. Haussen lightheartedly, waving her hand casually. "The only people out of the ordinary are Noel here and that man you sent earlier."

"So Sazh made it," Hope said offhandedly, earning an affirmative response. Dr. Haussen then turned heel and began to walk further into the building, with Hope and Noel close behind. She walked briskly, what should have been an acceptable pace, but because of Noel's unfamiliarity he found himself falling behind; to not keep the woman waiting, Hope eventually grabbed Noel by the wrist and almost literally dragged him down the corridors.

An awkward elevator ride and several more corridors later (awkward, as Hope defined it, was when his colleague took notice of joined hands and started giving both him and Noel praise and well wishes, an embarrassing misunderstanding surely), the three reached a rather large room, where they found several others seated around a large circular table. Hope immediately acknowledged Sazh – Dajh appeared not to be with him – before greeting the others present. The man seated directly to Sazh's right was Colonel Euledin, a tall (though now seated) burly man with a strong accent. Seated next to him were several lieutenant colonels, and next to them were a group of scientists from the research division of the Academy. Dr. Haussen took her seat next to one of these scientists; Hope took the seat next to her, and as he set Mog down on the table gently he directed Noel to sit between him and Sazh.

Dr. Haussen stood up the moment everyone was seated, and she gave a polite '_Ahem'_ before speaking.

"Good evening gentlemen, thank you for answering your summons. We are gathered here in response to Director Estheim's request for a strategy briefing. As the current Director of Research, I hereby hand over this briefing to Director Estheim."

Hope fought the urge to roll his eyes as he stood up. Even now, the woman was relinquishing her duties to him. But he supposed he _had _been the one to summon everyone here. Perhaps he would have done most of the talking, anyway.

"Thank you," said Hope courteously, looking around at all the faces that were fixated upon him. From the scientists he got a feel of admiration, not that this surprised him, but the Colonel's gaze struck him most. Hope picked up a distrustful vibe from the man, though he supposed it was to be expected: Not often did people pop out of time capsules and take over the Academy. The Colonel's only possible reason to place any trust in him was that Hope was the founder of the Academy.

Hope continued. "Skipping formalities for the sake of time, the agenda for this briefing is as follows: My goal is to keep all divisions and important persons of the Academy on the same page. First, I would like Sazh Katzroy to speak on the success of the safe recovery of the crystallized forms of Oerba Dia Vanille and Oerba Yun Fang, the two women responsible for keeping Cocoon from collapsing for the past hundreds of years. Next, I would like Noel Kreiss to speak on his battles with Caius Ballad, on the current situation that faces us, and on any other Intel he might have to present. Then, I would like Sazh to speak on his encounter with the people of Gran Pulse, as well as the current political situation between the Academy and Gran Pulse. Finally, I would like Colonel Euledin to talk about the current evacuation status, at which point the floor will be opened for anyone wishing to speak. Are there any objections?"

When no one in the room objected, Hope sat down and gave Sazh the floor. What he heard next wasn't anything new for Hope, but a quick glance at Noel told him that Noel likely did not yet know the majority of these details. The room listened intently as Sazh told them about how everything had gone as planned. Vanille and Fang were still in crystal stasis, but they were no longer held prisoner to the pillar that once kept Cocoon aloft. They were now in the care of the Academy (Hope learned that Dajh was spending some time with the crystal statues), who had taken on the side project of assessing the women's general status and their possible decrystallization. The only questions that arose were about Vanille and Fang's status; a scientist then stepped forward to state that their assessments had only just begun and thus had no major leads, but at the very least they were able to confirm that Vanille's crystal was fully intact.

Noel spoke next. He talked to his audience about his fight with Caius, how he had only wanted to stop Caius and had no intention of killing him. Consequently, since Noel would not kill Caius, the man took Noel's own hand and sword and did it for himself. In this, the Heart of Chaos – the goddess's own heart – was destroyed, and thus chaos was unleashed into the world.

"Or so it should have. Something tells me something happened."

From the corner of his eye Hope noticed Dr. Haussen's face light up eagerly. He prayed this meant good news.

There were several questions that arose regarding the information Noel had presented, though Noel didn't answer them very satisfactorily. When Noel was faced with questions of the goddess Etro and the Heart of Chaos, Noel found himself with no exact response; several scientists and Dr. Haussen answered on his behalf. When asked how he knew the chaos of Valhalla hadn't fully been unleashed upon their world, Noel responded with "I can just tell. The fact that we're not all dead, that there are no serious anomalies yet, is proof enough."

Of course for a scientist, that was hardly proof at all, but Hope didn't want to be the one to tell Noel this, partly because the question had come from one of the lieutenant colonels.

"If I may interrupt," said Dr. Haussen suddenly, standing up. Hope glanced at Noel, who seemed perfectly pleased with taking his seat and stepping out of the spotlight. Hope cast him an apologetic smile for the trouble he'd put Noel through, and he was relieved that Noel hadn't struggled too much with the retelling of his tale. "We've done some preliminary research on the current – whatever one might wish to call it, we'll use 'chaos' – that presently surrounds us. From the tests we were able to run, given only a short period of time, we were able to conclude that whatever it is, it isn't from this world."

"Valhalla," said Noel, and the woman nodded.

"Right. Currently, an unknown energy emanates from Bhunivelze, similar to the way heat emanates from the sun. This intangible energy, though still detectable, is what Noel here refers to as the chaos released from Valhalla. Furthermore, it matches that which was observed earlier today, when a rift to Valhalla tore open in the sky, where Serah and Noel had their battle with Caius Ballad.

"However, while the signatures match, the intensity does not. The energy that pulsated from that rift earlier today was stronger than that which we've experienced thus far." Turning to Noel, Dr. Haussen added, "This said, I think this is enough in supporting Noel's theory, that Valhalla has not fully consumed our world. Unfortunately, we haven't had enough time to look into possible explanations. At the very least, we've confirmed that the chaos does not pose any threat to the health of our citizens."

"It's a start," said Hope. "My honest opinion is that if everything that's been said is true, something or someone must be keeping the chaos at bay."

"You mean Lightning?" asked Noel, who seemed shocked that Hope would suggest such a thing.

Sazh, however, was not as quick to give in to this explanation. "Don't get your hopes up," was all he had to say.

With that idea shot down, Hope thanked the speakers and motioned for Sazh to speak. As it turned out, Sazh had not even been granted clearance to land and instead found himself being pursued. Someone on Pulse had spoken to him through radio transmission; Sazh was told that the Academy's ways were not welcome on Pulse, that the chaos was karma for the Academy's unnecessary advancements, and that peace would only be restored once the Academy saw its collapse. After nearly fifteen minutes of dodging fire, Sazh had regrettably fired at his pursuers, all before returning to Bhunivelze for safety.

This did not settle too kindly with Colonel Euledin, who immediately argued that by firing at his pursuers Sazh had given Pulse a reason to go to war with Bhunivelze; however, he did acknowledge that Sazh hadn't been given much of a choice, and he was quick to let the argument go. The Colonel then took the opportunity to report on the evacuation progress: According to his estimates, about seventy percent of the civilian population had been evacuated. Food supplies were in good condition, not expected to deplete for at least a week, granted the number of people needing to be fed.

Hope could tell that Noel was growing restless by the length of the briefing. The Colonel wrapped up by explaining the manner in which he'd divided his forces to meet the two current demands of the military: defense against potential Pulsian attacks, and the assistance and protection of civilians. Upon finishing, Hope opened the floor up for discussion, though there wasn't much else to add: Dr. Haussen said that the Academy would redirect the focus of their research efforts upon Valhalla and possible explanations about why the chaos from Valhalla was dampened, and Sazh offered to continue his piloting services for the military.

And then it was over. One by one the people in the room filed out, some conversing with themselves. Hope also began to leave; he only now remembered he still hadn't seen Vanille or Fang since their rescue mission, as he had been detoured by this Valhalla nonsense and Serah's passing. Perhaps if he hurried, he could get there before the Academy –

"Where're you off to in such a hurry?" asked Sazh, walking up to Hope and matching his stride; Noel joined him also, on Hope's other side.

"I wanted to see Vanille and Fang," said Hope. "I haven't said hello since getting them out of the pillar. You're welcome to join me, if you'd like."

"I'm sure this little guy would like to join you," said Noel, and he gently pushed the resting Mog into Hope's arms. "I didn't pin you as the forgetful type, Hope."

"Heh… sorry," apologized Hope. Then, to himself, he added, _How had I forgotten Mog? I'm so out of it…_

"I gotta go pick up Dajh anyway," said Sazh, "so sure, why not?" A pause. "But uh, listen, about what you said earlier – "

"I said a lot of things, Sazh."

"About Lightning," said Noel, and both men turned to him and came to a halt. "What you said about Lightning. I think that's what Sazh and I are both after."

A silence fell between them, and Hope sighed; perhaps he'd been wrong in suggesting something so farfetched. But he had no other explanation. With Caius gone, Light should've been the only one left in Valhalla. And with the goddess Etro gone, who else could stop Valhalla from fully consuming the human world, who else but –

"But Caius defeated her," Noel reminded him when Hope had tried explaining his train of thought. "I hate to say it, but I'm with Sazh on this one."

"And _you_ said Caius had been bluffing."

"I did, _before _Serah had that vision and all of this happened."

"I… okay. Fine." Hope sighed, pulling at his hair in his frustration. He didn't want to listen to Noel shooting down his ideas. He didn't want to hear Noel give possibilities that suggested his friends were dead. It was strange, only moments before Hope had been under the impression Caius really had defeated Light. But when given even a sliver of hope, the smallest of possibilities that she might still be fighting… it was too hard to give up again.

"What's your explanation, then?" challenged Hope. "You really want Light dead that badly?"

"Of course not. Hope…." It was then that Hope realized his temper was slowly getting the better of him. A part of him felt regret, for unleashing his anger the way he had toward the younger man. But he meant every feeling, every word spoken. More than anything, he wanted to believe Light was alive. It just hurt too much to listen to Noel be so quick in assuming otherwise.

"Noel, I… I'm sorry." Hope stepped forward uneasily, a frown upon his face. "I'm sorry for yelling. It's not like me to lose control like this, I'm just… frustrated. None of this was supposed to happen."

"I don't blame you," Noel said quietly. "Truth is, I want her alive too. And maybe she is, maybe Caius really was bluffing. But you getting angry, that's exactly my point. You can't let yourself get your hopes up too high, or you'll get carried away in false hopes. It's okay to have faith in your friends, it's okay to hope for the best. But don't make that your reality."

"I… yeah." Hope couldn't find any other words to say: Noel was right. The more he let himself believe that Light was alive, the more it would eat him alive, the more it would hurt if they ever found out she wasn't….

Noel too seemed at a loss for words. The younger man hesitantly raised his hand and placed it on Hope's shoulder firmly, as if in apology for what he'd said. Hope turned to Noel, surprised by the act, and offered him an apologetic smile. But though he couldn't deny he liked the feeling of Noel's hand on his shoulder – it provided him some sort of comfort that words could not – he had never been very comfortable with physical contact, not since he had lost his mother, and after several moments he shrugged away from Noel's grasp as politely as he could.

"Kid's starting to sound a bit like me," said Sazh. The other two men were taken aback in surprise; apparently they'd forgotten about Sazh's presence entirely. "Anyway, you two finished? Vanille's been dying to see you, Hope, and you know it ain't polite to keep a pretty lady waiting."

Hope nodded, a bright smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Right. Let's go."

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Posted: <strong>11 Feb 2012**  
>Last Edited: <strong>07 Feb 2014

_Upcoming: Hope has some leads; Noel makes himself useful._


	3. Outsiders Looking In

_In the previous episode, Sazh informs Hope and Noel of the hostility he's received from the people of Gran Pulse. With their troubles piling higher and higher, Hope calls a strategy briefing within the Academy, but not before he and Noel are forced to properly say goodbye to Serah. On their way Noel realizes that Valhalla has not properly consumed their world, and this hypothesis is later confirmed by researchers of the Academy. When Hope suggests that this phenomenon is of Lightning's doing, he is told not to keep his hopes raised too high. But then what of Lightning, and why has the world not yet reached its doom…?_

* * *

><p><strong>Crystal Fortresses<br>**_Two men seeking to save the future, driven by the burdens of their past: Perhaps they had more in common than Hope once thought._

Episode 3: Outsiders Looking In

* * *

><p>Noel had heard all about the crystallization of l'Cie upon completing their Focus, and he knew well that Vanille and Fang had been trapped within the pillar holding up Cocoon, but never would he have thought that l'Cie turned into real crystal. Yet there Vanille was, as crystal as the pillar in which she'd been entombed. Seeing her in crystal stasis certainly put things into perspective, and Noel could see why the Academy was spending time making sure she and Fang had remained intact.<p>

But a new question came to mind: If the crystal shattered, what would happen to the person trapped inside?

Noel decided to ask Hope.

"I don't know," he said, which wasn't the answer Noel had expected. "Honestly, I don't want to know. It's not very common for l'Cie who have completed their Focus to decrystallize. Fang and Vanille were exceptions, after the War of Transgression. And then so were we, after our battle with Orphan. Barthandelus taunted us once by shattering Dajh's and Serah's crystallized forms, but I can't say for sure if it had just been an illusion to anger us."

"Dajh was a l'Cie too?" asked Noel in disbelief. The boy was so young, and he must've been even younger when the events had transpired. What kind of cruel fate…?

Sazh and Hope both nodded, but before either could really explain the boy himself interrupted them.

"Daddy, I think she's trying to tell me something!" he exclaimed as he tugged on his father's sleeve. Sazh began to protest – "Dajh I'm old, but I ain't that old, I'm perfectly capable of walking by myself" – but Dajh appeared not to have heard him and dragged his father toward Vanille anyway. The sight made Noel smile; he hadn't really had a moment like that with his own dad, not that he'd spent much time with him. The only memories of his family he had left were of his grandmother, who had taken care of him through most of his childhood.

Noel turned to Hope, whose attention was on Vanille. He wondered what kind of background Hope came from; by the way Hope had talked to him and Serah about his mom, it didn't take a genius to deduce that she'd passed away some time ago. But what of his dad? Did Hope have any siblings? It was a strange realization, that he knew nothing about the people he considered himself close to; even in Serah's case, though he knew much more about her than he did about Hope, there was a lot about her still that he wasn't aware of – and probably would never know, either.

Temporarily putting aside his resolution to get to know the people around him a little better, Noel approached Vanille's crystal statue. He turned to Hope and Sazh, who both had their head bowed and their eyes closed. Was this what Dajh had meant by Vanille talking to him? Everyone around him had fallen silent, and because he didn't have much else to do Noel mimicked his companions.

He waited patiently for something to happen but heard nothing. Or at least, he didn't think so. He could only hear his own thoughts, spoken in his own voice. Unless… maybe that was Vanille speaking to him through his own voice?

_This crystal stasis stuff doesn't make any sense._

"Dajh, I don't hear anything," said Sazh quietly, and he frowned at his son. To this Noel gave a soft laugh, slightly amused with himself; the ideas he'd thought of moments before sounded comical, now that he knew he hadn't been meant to hear anything.

"Has she spoken to you guys before?" asked Noel, curious if talking to someone in crystal stasis was possible at all. Perhaps Vanille couldn't talk to them, perhaps he'd taken Dajh's words too seriously. However, both men nodded, which then prompted Noel to ask, "Er… _how_, exactly?"

"I used to visit Vanille and Fang a lot," said Hope as he absentmindedly turned his gaze back to Vanille's statue. "Vanille thanked me once. I guess it could've been all in my head, but… no, I'm positive it was her. You remain consciousness while in crystal stasis, if only barely. Serah told us about it, though she described it more as a cold, lonely dream. Actually, I started visiting Vanille and Fang more often after Serah had told me that."

"But didn't you say you had turned to crystal too?" asked Noel, frowning. "After you defeated Orphan, I mean.'

"Yeah, but it hadn't been for very long. If I'd had a dream, I don't remember it. Serah had been asleep for weeks, and Vanille and Fang have been dreaming for centuries."

"What they did for Cocoon, even though they grew up in Pulse with anti-Cocoon influences… that's a real sacrifice right there," said Sazh solemnly. "They've spent more years sleeping than they have living, it's gotta be rough. Only recently understood how they must've felt five hundred years ago. To suddenly find yourself in a whole new era knowing nothing… it ain't easy."

"Tell me about it," said Noel. Though he hadn't had to settle down in the myriads of eras he'd visited in his travels with Serah, he certainly knew the alienated feeling that came with existing in an era that wasn't your own.

"You guys have all stepped outside the timeline…" said Hope slowly, as if he were saying something aloud that had been intended for his ears only. "I think I'm the only one who hasn't, then. I'm only here because of the time capsule. Whereas all of you…"

Hope trailed off and glanced around the room. Noel knew Hope was already aware of all of his travels, and Hope's gaze hadn't lingered very long upon him. Sazh, on the other hand… Now that Noel thought about it, how _had_ Sazh ended up with them?

"It's a long story," said Sazh after Noel had decided to ask. "Let's just say… Vanille rescued me from a dream. Though this little guy helped too," he added, giving Dajh an endearing pat on the head. Noel knew exactly what Sazh was talking about – Serah had saved him from his own prison of a dream – but Hope seemed lost.

"I'll explain another time," said Noel. Hope only shrugged, though it was clear Hope was still trying to make sense out of it in his head. Hoping to give the man a distraction, Noel asked, "Wait, where's Fang?"

"Under the care of the Academy," Hope said quickly, seemingly having regained his usual, informed composure. "They're making sure Fang's statue is intact and not in a state of deterioration like Cocoon's pillar had been. What would be even better, though, is if Fang and Vanille decrystallize before anything worse happens to their crystals."

"Right…." But another question came to mind, and Noel vocalized it before giving any thought to it himself. "So how exactly does someone go about being released from crystal stasis?"

"No one knows," said Sazh with a frown. "L'Cie turn to crystal upon completing their focus, and even that doesn't happen very often. At least for me, Serah was the first time I'd heard about it happening, and up until then it'd just been some kinda legend. But even the legends didn't suggest anything about _de__crystallizing_. Vanille and Fang were the only ones, but other than them… just Serah and Dajh, and us."

"I'm thinking Etro might have something to do with this," said Hope, and the mere mention of the goddess's name caught Noel off guard for a moment. "Back in my era, a little while before Noel and Serah visited us, I was looking into ways to save Vanille and Fang. You know, trying to figure out if they were doomed to holding up Cocoon forever. A colleague of mine referred me to some mythological texts, which detailed the creation of the world among other topics. I never got a chance to advance my research further – I turned my sights towards saving Cocoon, after meeting with you guys – but I learned that Eidolons dwelt in Valhalla along with the goddess Etro, not to mention that Etro was supposedly responsible for giving life to humans and greeting them upon death. Etro might be directly related to the l'Cie… by now I'm sure the Academy's research has advanced greatly, so if I pick up my research from where I left off, I might be able to find out how l'Cie – "

"But the goddess can't help us now," interrupted Noel. It stung him to say the words, especially since the err he'd made was now common knowledge to everyone present excluding Dajh. Noel could vaguely remember Serah trying to explain something Yeul had told her in passing in the Void Beyond. Had that been related…?

"I know," said Hope bitterly. Noel bit his lip and sighed; even though he knew it was important to stay grounded in reality during times like these, he still felt guilty. He hoped Hope wouldn't get mad at him again. "It might give us some leads, at least. If not, maybe I'll find something that can be of some use to the Academy."

"Kid's got a point," said Sazh, who then laughed after Hope showed signs of frustration at being called a kid. But his expression quickly turned serious, the sudden change almost scaring Noel. "Question is, Noel, what're _you_ gonna do?"

"I…" Noel frowned. What _could_ he do? More importantly, how could he be of use? Noel was quite certain this era functioned differently than the era he'd come from. At least here Hope could do his research and Sazh could fly ships for the Air Force, even though they were both strangers to the era. But his skills were of less use; somehow, Noel didn't think his hunting skills would prove useful….

Hope sensed Noel's perplexity, and he opened his mouth to speak, but before he could manage anything a young woman approached them. Short in stature and hiding behind large glasses, she turned to each of them before speaking in a soft, high-pitched voice:

"The analysis of Oerba Yun Fang has been completed, and her crystal remains unharmed. She and Oerba Dia Vanille will be placed together under close supervision. "

"That's great news!" said Hope, and he let out a great sigh of relief.

The woman nodded. "In the interest of their safety, I'd like to remind you that this room requires a Gold Level security clearance. Director Estheim, you have been given this clearance by Dr. Haussen, and anyone you vouch for may accompany you. However, they must be in your company – they are not allowed here otherwise, more specifically without your presence."

"Meaning, I can't just up and go visit Vanille and Fang," summarized Sazh, and the woman nodded curtly.

"Furthermore, research for the day has concluded, meaning I will soon need to conduct closing procedures. I must ask that you leave at this time. I'm sorry. Please understand." The woman gave the three men a polite bow, and then she gave a friendly wave to Dajh before walking away.

Noel sighed. There wasn't much he could do about it. He exited the room and waited against a wall, closing his eyes as he waited for his other companions. It had definitely been a long day, and a part of him longed to give in to sleep, to let go of all his problems. Or maybe this _was _the dream, maybe he was already sleeping – Noel only wished. But then Noel realized he didn't know where he'd be sleeping that night; the thought alone discouraged him, that maybe he wouldn't be getting any rest after all.

_Knowing me, I'll probably just stay up thinking about everything._

There were several thoughts lingering in his head as Noel waited for Sazh, Dajh and Hope. He couldn't make sense out of most of his thoughts, though. He had no answer to the mystery of Valhalla; technically, Lightning _was _an answer, but he wanted an explanation that had viable proof, so as to not falsely keep his hopes up. He had no clue how to fit into society; joining the military force was out of the question, not really wanting to see any more people die.

But what his mind attached itself to most was a comment Hope had made in passing about everyone having stepped outside the timeline. Of everyone he knew, only Hope had used means within his own era to travel through time. He wasn't one hundred percent sure about Sazh and Dajh, but at the very least he knew that he and Snow had traveled along the timeline using the gates. But hadn't Snow vanished after they had changed the future at the Sunleth Waterscape? Noel, Sazh and Dajh all didn't belong here, in 500 AF; if he and Serah had truly corrected the timeline and changed the future, why hadn't they vanished too? Was it because the goddess no longer existed?

Noel made a mental note to ask Hope for his opinion later. He meant to ask the moment Sazh and Hope left Vanille's room, but it appeared Noel wasn't the only one with something to say, and Hope had beat Noel to the punch.

"I think you should join the military," said Hope, completely catching Noel off guard.

"I … what?"

"Just hear me out. Right now the Academy's military force serves two purposes: the defense against potential Pulsian attacks, and the protection of the civilian population. No offense to your fighting style, but in an era of more modern weaponry, fighting with swords will only get you killed."

"Says the guy with a boomerang," scoffed Noel dryly, though he hadn't meant it as an insult. To his relief, Hope didn't seem to take offense.

"It got me through my days as a l'Cie, though I tended to use magic more than the boomerang, so I guess that isn't saying much. I had a bad experience with guns, you could say. I… don't think I could ever use one."

"A bad experience?" asked Noel, but Hope ignored him completely, and there was a noticeably more somber expression upon his face as he pressed on.

"I think you'd do a good job in protecting and assisting the civilian population, Noel. It's mostly nonviolent, and you'll be around people a lot. It's serious business, but I think it'd be worth your time."

"I agree," said Sazh. "At least, I'll feel a bit better, knowing someone can keep an eye out on Dajh for me every once in a while."

"I wanna go with you, Daddy!" exclaimed Dajh – Noel noted offhandedly that Dajh had been given Mog to hold – but Sazh only shook his head.

"It's too dangerous, Dajh. I'll take you flying some other time, sound good?" But Dajh would not have it. Noel laughed at the scene, shaking his head before turning to Hope. It really did sound like something he wouldn't mind doing, Noel had to admit. This way, he wouldn't even be putting anyone's life in danger.

_And I've already done enough of that._

"Alright," he told Hope. "I'll do it. But what about you? You're going to continue your research?"

"Yeah. I've got centuries of research to catch up on. Tomorrow I'm going to ask Dr. Haussen to brief me on the more important breakthroughs – oh, and I'm also going to ask her about giving you and Sazh clearance to visit Vanille and Fang. But like I said, I'm sure I'll find something."

"I'm sure you will," encouraged Noel, though Hope only nodded as his response. The silence that then fell over them was quickly interrupted by Dajh, who indignantly yelled his defeat before crossing his arms over his chest. He glared at his dad while squeezing any remaining life out of the poor moogle. Sazh, on the other hand, seemed unfazed by his son's behavior, and his face was almost glowing in triumph.

"Why don't we call it a day?" suggested Sazh, which quickly earned nods of approval from the other men.

"I agree, it's been long enough," said Noel. With that they began to walk; Noel didn't really know their destination, so he allowed Hope and Sazh to take the lead. Dajh fell back and walked beside Noel, though the boy did not talk to him. Noel didn't mind, as he wanted the time to think anyway.

With the situation not as severe as they'd once thought, Noel wondered if they'd be returning to Hope's house. He contemplated asking Hope, but hesitation stood in his way. Was it too soon to return to Serah? They hadn't accomplished much since having left her; perhaps they could tell her how their situation was not as bad as it should have been, but Noel didn't even want to bother her with that, especially since she'd passed under the impression that the world had been saved.

Still, Noel was curious about where they were going, if not Hope's house, so without bringing up Hope's house or Serah, Noel posed the question: "So where are we headed, anyway?"

"Bunkers," said Hope, just as he turned into the next corridor. "With the evacuation still under effect, we have to stay underground, so my house is out of the question. The bunkers are all interlinked, and there's an underground passage to one of these bunkers through headquarters. The part of the bunkers closest to the entrance of this passage is sectioned off for Academy scientists and troops not on duty, which also keeps civilians from wandering into Academy headquarters. But yeah… I hope you don't mind sleeping on floors."

"I've done it enough," said Noel, shrugging. "I'll manage."

They turned one more corridor before arriving at what appeared to be the entrance to a long tunnel. Much unlike the building which they were now in, it was as if someone had taken a large drill and dug a hole infinitely in the direction in front of them. The path itself was dimly lit, enough to faintly notice the steel framing that supported the tunnel, but unlike the near vacant corridors of the Academy, the passage was filled with troops, some walking down the passage while others remained stationed at their posts.

The soldier closest to the entrance took notice of them and waved them over.

"Director Estheim!" he said once they approached him. He then raised a comm device to his mouth, speaking into it: "Director Estheim and his company are headed your way. Please direct them to their tents once they arrive." Noel frowned upon these words. He began to wonder just how big these bunkers were – tents weren't exactly small or compact. He'd have figured they would save more space just to use mats.

"Roger." The soldier then pocketed the comm device and motioned for the men to begin making their way through the tunnel. Hope gave the soldier a polite nod before hurrying into the tunnel, and the others followed suit.

"Tents?" Noel had asked, once he was sure they were out of earshot from the first soldier. "Why tents?"

"No idea," said Hope. "Surprised me too, honestly. It doesn't seem very efficient."

"Probably got something to do with the civilians," said Sazh. "Most got themselves family. Tents give families a bit more privacy, almost like a temporary home. It ain't easy being forced to leave everything behind, even if it's a state of emergency."

"The Purge…" mused Hope. Noel sighed; he had heard about the Purge from history lessons with his grandmother and from Serah and Alyssa's conversations in passing. From what he knew of the Purge, Noel couldn't believe that something of that nature had been allowed to happen, and he was glad Hope and his companions had done something to change that world.

Hope continued. "The people here don't have first-hand experiences of the Purge, but we're all human. Of course, no one's opening fire, so I doubt there'll be any violence coming from the people. But they won't exactly be a happy population, either. From their point of view, they'd all been asked to relocate here, only to be told to evacuate before even having had the chance to settle down properly."

"I'd be angry too," said Sazh. "At least, before all of this l'Cie and time travel business. Even now, I'm still the same old cynic – just a little more open-minded, I guess."

"I'd say… it's more like Daddy's happier now," said Dajh, and Sazh smiled at his son.

"Amen, Dajh, amen."

It took the four another ten minutes, roughly, before either of them saw the end of the tunnel. The bunker itself was huge; it was as if they were inside a large stadium, and Noel had to keep reminding himself that they were still underground. He wondered how long it had taken to build this – clearly, under a century – but he also wondered who would have thought to build the New Cocoon with such large emergency shelters.

They were met by another soldier, who was likely the person to whom the first solider had been talking. He explained to them the situation: To maximize space, only two tents had been prepared for the four of them. Dajh sleeping with his father was a safe assumption; the question the solider now posed to both Hope and Noel was whether they minded sharing a tent.

"If it ends up being a problem, we'll figure out a solution and get another tent set up by tomorrow," said the soldier.

"So either way, we don't have a choice tonight, do we?" asked Hope, and the soldier shook his head.

"Again, our deepest apologies for having not asked you first."

"It's not really a problem though, is it?" asked Noel, turning to Hope. He personally had no objections; making a bed out of nothing was a skill he'd grown accustomed to, and he had no problems with sleeping in any given situation. He was sure Hope wouldn't mind either, especially since Hope had specifically asked Noel earlier about whether he minded sleeping on the floor. The only issue he had was how cramped each tent would be; Noel suspected Hope had issues with personal space, though his behavior earlier could have been influenced by his mood.

As predicted, Hope agreed to the situation, and he even declined the soldier's offer to find an extra tent. The soldier then led them away from the tunnel exit and toward their respective tents. They walked between rows of tents that were lit from the inside. As Noel had feared the tents didn't look very spacious, though he knew not to judge a monster's strength by its appearance. He couldn't see an entire family fitting under any of these tents – then again, as Noel soon remembered, these tents were for Academy scientists and off-duty soldiers, not for families and other civilians.

They arrived at a pair of tents toward the end of the row. They appeared similar to the surrounding tents, with the exception of the stake in front of the tents, which read "Estheim." Having taken this as his cue, Sazh immediately crawled into the other, but not before bidding the others his goodnight.

"Keep Mog safe," said Hope to Dajh's level, bending down to his level. "If he shows signs of waking, find me or Noel. Okay?"

"Got it!" said the boy, and with a bright smile he followed after his dad into the tent. Smiling to himself, Hope straightened himself and turned to the soldier, and he gave a nod of his head in appreciation before turning to Noel, who had merely been watching and was keeping quiet.

"You ready?" asked Hope, and Noel nodded. Both men stepped into the tent, and Noel immediately noticed how empty it was on the inside. There were mats already spread out on the floor, and in the corner were a few canteens of water, among other things Noel couldn't presently make out – but otherwise the tent had nothing else to offer. He supposed the tents for civilians weren't like this; the majority of the scientists and officers were probably spending most their time elsewhere anyway, only returning to the tents to sleep much like he and Hope were.

Noel watched as Hope stretched and let out a small sigh. "If you don't mind," began Hope as he fell to the floor, and he rolled over to face Noel; "I'm going to sleep now. I'm so exhausted."

"That's fine," said Noel. "I was just about to do the same."

"Alright, get some rest." Noel sat down on his own mat, kicking out his legs as Hope tossed over again, now facing away from Noel.

Noel sighed as he stared up at the tent ceiling. The day was finally come to an end, yet he would need all the luck in the world to fall asleep; now that he was lying down, physical exhaustion was catching up to Noel, but his mind was still restless. With no more distractions, his thoughts returned to his battle with Caius, to the vision Serah had had, to the mystery behind Valhalla, to Hope's past, to why he and Sazh hadn't vanished from the timeline…

It was several hours before Noel could manage a wink of sleep. He might as well not have slept at all.

* * *

><p>A small nudge had woken Hope up.<p>

Hope frowned in curiosity, though still half-asleep, and he glanced over his shoulder only to find that Noel had rolled over to his mat. He wasn't bothered too much, as he'd been having his own strange dream, though he couldn't remember enough of it to say whether he was glad for Noel's interruption. The only detail he remembered was Vanille thanking him, but it had been so brief, he could've been imagining it.

Hope turned to face Noel, and he had intended on moving Noel back to his own mat, but when Hope took in the sight of Noel curled up against him Hope couldn't bring himself to wake him up.

_Poor guy,_ he thought to himself, and instead he settled with simply switching mats, deeming this the more practical solution. He couldn't say he understood exactly how Noel felt, but he had a rough idea. Waking him now might mean pulling Noel away from the only sliver of peace he'd had for days.

Hope sighed and closed his eyes, willing himself to fall asleep once more. There was still a lot on his mind – Light being alive somewhere, Alyssa's painful betrayal, Serah's last vision, Vanille's smile – and it was the latter of these that finally allowed him to rest.

* * *

><p>Noel awoke to an empty tent, much to his confusion. Not only was Hope nowhere to be found, but Noel had somehow ended up on the other mat. Figuring he must've rolled over and hoping Hope hadn't left as a result, he set out to look for the other man.<p>

He didn't have to look very far. A soldier who was pacing down the rows of tents told him that Hope had left for Academy headquarters for an early meeting with Dr. Haussen. Noel decided not to pursue him, as "early" had not been defined, and he was sure he would only be in Hope's way. Instead, Noel decided to take Hope's piece of advice from the day before, and he inquired about helping with the evacuation.

The solider gladly redirected him to another soldier not on duty, who then escorted Noel to the office of one of the lieutenant colonels. Within mere hours Noel was given a briefing on military policies and current objectives, and he was also given the option to continue through or to back out – Noel chose the former. Strictly speaking Noel wasn't joining the army; the lieutenant had "enlisted" him as a "special forces volunteer," an unusual position that Noel was sure had only arisen because of the state of emergency.

"From now on, please refer to me as Lieutenant Strike," the Lieutenant concluded. "Now go grab some lunch before I put you on duty."

"Yes sir." Noel had to admit, it was a bit unusual taking orders from someone else. He had no problems with being under someone's command, or at least not yet; he just wasn't used to it. Sure, from time to time he would hunt something Caius had asked him to hunt or do favors Yeul required of him. But he hadn't really served under someone's command – except perhaps Serah's.

Noel laughed at his own joke, though he had not meant to speak ill of the dead. He hoped she was sleeping peacefully, back at Hope's house. If only she'd –

_"Etro was supposedly responsible for giving life to humans and greeting them upon death."_

Noel froze in his tracks. He wasn't sure why Hope's words had replayed in his head at that moment, but the more he thought on those words, the more he began to wonder….

_Greeting them upon death…._

_But Etro was gone…._

What of Serah, then? If Hope had spoken the truth, or rather if mythology properly portrayed reality….

_Who would be greeting Serah?_

Inspired by this sudden realization, Noel ran back to the tent as fast as he could. He prayed to himself that Hope would be there, that he would get the chance to ask him for his opinion. A part of him already knew he'd still be busy with his research, but then again Noel had been on lunch break, maybe Hope would be too….

But the tent was empty.

Noel made a mental note to ask Hope later, though he had the strangest suspicion that he'd already made one too many mental notes to himself. What else had he wanted to ask Hope? – besides this, and the issue with vanishing from the current era once the timeline was corrected. Had that been it?

Noel was interrupted by Sazh exiting his tent; he was accompanied by Dajh, who was still carrying Mog in his arms. The man offered Noel lunch, to Noel's favor; it had not occurred to Noel that he didn't even know where to find food. But on the subject of mental notes, Noel _had _been reminded of something else, and without sounding too abrasive he asked Sazh about Hope's past.

"You really wanna know, huh," said Sazh. "Alright, we'll talk while we walk. Hope's a pretty admirable kid, but he comes from a pretty shaky past. Now, I only met Hope right before we were turned to l'Cie, so I'll tell you what I know. Hope was a victim to the Purge, on vacation with his mom. They were aided by Snow – you know Snow, right? Anyway, he asked for volunteers to help them fight, I guess? Hope's mom was one of those volunteers, and she… she died fighting. Hope took it to heart, he was only fourteen then. The kid had a lot of growing up to do, never seen a kid mature so quickly in my life, but he had to. A lot of his resentment towards Snow was because of his mother, though now it's just Snow's reckless behavior that gets Hope in a tizzy.

"Now, I don't know how much he's told you about his relationships with others, but Vanille and Lightning had a pretty big impact on his life during that time. Vanille kept his spirits up – that girl never stopped smiling, but she had the biggest burdens of us all – and Lightning became somewhat of a mother figure to him. It doesn't take a genius to see his attachment to them, or to anyone he considers close for that matter. When you're forced to grow up so young, that quickly… some things you just hold on to, you know? For Hope, those things are his friends, and the memory of his mother."

Noel nodded slowly, taking in everything he'd just heard. It did put Hope's actions and behavior into perspective, now that Noel looked back on it. Yet there was a lot about Hope that sounded painstakingly familiar: having to adapt as things happened around him, the fear of losing important people and the need to protect them….

"What about family?" Noel asked at last. "What about his dad? Did he have siblings?"

"Hope was an only child. Had a dad, though I never met him. Hope left his dad behind to use the time capsule, if that's says anything about what drives him."

"Hope really left his dad?" asked Noel. He was shocked. He couldn't see Hope leaving his dad behind, especially after having lost his mother. "Were they close?"

"Can't say," said Sazh. "But as Lightning would say, there are things you just do."

"Lightning _would_ say something like that," said Noel with a laugh. "At least, that's the impression I get from her."

"You got that right," said Sazh. "That woman's a true soldier, wherever the hell she is now. Now here's praying she didn't get herself killed."

* * *

><p>Lunch had been a quick affair, having already spent most of their free time talking instead of eating. They split ways at the food bank: Sazh to drop off Dajh, and Noel to report for duty. Dajh, it seemed, had not yet reconciled with the fact that he couldn't go with his father on his flights, and Noel had left them on the note of their seemingly redundant arguments.<p>

Noel's tasks for the day were simple enough, though altogether they had spanned a total of roughly ten hours. He had paced through the rows of civilian tents to make sure everything was orderly and everyone's basic needs were being met – and as it turned out the civilian tents were somewhat larger than his own tent, as Noel had expected. Noel had also helped run the food bank for a bit; he couldn't help but to laugh when a certain five-year-old boy kept coming back for more food, and it broke Noel's heart to have to keep sending the boy away.

Noel had enjoyed himself, as Hope had predicted, and the company of others helped him relax a little more. Still, despite his menial tasks, Noel found himself exhausted by the end of the day. He had barely laid down on his mat before passing out, completely free of the thoughts and worries that had plagued him the night before.

He woke up a few hours later, though he didn't know how many hours exactly. A slight tap on his shoulder had been the perpetrator, and in his fatigue he could only smile upon seeing Hope's face staring down at him.

"Oh… you were sleeping."

"No…" lied Noel, but his subsequent yawn and barely opened eyes were giving him away. Hope chuckled to himself, and he shook his head before patting Noel softly on the head.

"Go back to sleep, Noel. I'll tell you later."

"Tell me what?"

"I'll tell you later."

"Okay…" said Noel weakly, already drifting back to sleep, Hope's last words still fresh in his mind.

_'I'll tell you later.'_

Noel sighed softly, too tired to give any other reaction. He repeated these words in his head, until slowly….

_Had there been something I wanted to ask Hope?_

_…I guess not._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Posted: <strong>16 Feb 2012**  
>Last Edited: <strong>07 Feb 2014

_Upcoming: Hope has a dream, Noel attempts to play teacher._


	4. A Man's Castle

_In the previous episode, Hope and Noel visit Vanille's statue, which has strangely been separated from Fang's. They are forced to settle into a foreign world whose future has not yet been saved. With very little to go on, Hope turns to the Academy, while Noel enlists in the military. Both men seek answers, yet in their consumption they also subconsciously seek escape: distractions to keep themselves occupied. Reality is beginning to set in, but both men cannot come to terms with properly facing their failures…._

* * *

><p><strong>Crystal Fortresses<br>**_Two men seeking to save the future, driven by the burdens of their past: Perhaps they had more in common than Hope once thought._

Episode 4: A Man's Castle

* * *

><p>"Hope! Hope! You gotta wake up, Hope!"<p>

"Vanille! What's his status?"

"He's not answering!"

"Keep trying, I'll hold this bad boy off."

Hope slowly opened his eyes. Consciousness of the world around him was returning to him. By the way Vanille had called for him, he must've passed out. He sat up and groaned – every muscle in his body was aching.

"Hold still!" Vanille said suddenly, and before Hope could figure out what was going on Vanille cast several healing spells. His pains left him, and it was only moments before Hope was back on his feet.

"I… what's going on?" asked Hope, slightly confused as Vanille bent over to pat the dust off his clothes for him.

"Look!" said Vanille, pointing to the horizon. That's right. They had run into an encounter with an enormous Cieth by the name of Geiseric. The specifics were still a bit hazy, but he remembered having found a weak spot with his boomerang by chance, and he'd managed to relay some sort of battle plan before Geiseric's fist had connected with his gut.

Hope turned his head and watched as Fang darted along the cliff opposite their direction. Hope was in awe of how fast Fang could run, but more impressive was how she was effortlessly dodging the gigantic Cieth's attacks. He wondered how long he'd been passed out, how long Fang had spent trying to keep him and Vanille alive while targeting that one spot per Hope's directions.

"We gotta help her!" Hope yelled, and Vanille was quick to agree. One well-aimed throw of his boomerang got Geiseric's attention, but before the Cieth could throw a fist in their direction Vanille cast her binding rod. Vanille pulled on the rod and Hope dropped his boomerang to help her, until at last the Cieth had been properly restrained and immobilized.

…and out of nowhere came Fang, dropping from the sky with her bladed lance at the ready. Geiseric gave one last cry as the lance pierced into his thick skin, and then he was no more.

A silence fell amidst their victory. Instead of celebrating, both women turned their attention to Hope, worried looks upon their faces. Hope was intimidated, and almost instinctively he took several steps backward.

"Careful now," said Fang, and she latched onto his arm. "Don't want you falling off the edge, now."

"We were so worried!" said Vanille, grasping his free hand.

"A-Ah, you guys…" said Hope uneasily and he chuckled nervously.

"Don't '_You Guys' _me, Hope!" snapped Vanille. "That huge Cieth knocked the wind outta you. I tried everything, but you just wouldn't wake up!"

Fang nodded, loosening her grip. "Remember, we're responsible for ya, Hope. Light's not gonna be pleased if she finds you dead on our account."

"Yup!" Vanille agreed cheerfully. Hope sighed; Vanille sure changed moods quickly. He wondered how Light and the others were doing. They had split ways at the Yaschas Massif; Light, Sazh and Snow had set out to take care of a Cieth in the Paddra ruins, while he, Vanille and Fang had come here to make ends with Geiseric.

"But you know," continued Fang, and while she talked she began to pace circles about Hope. "In the end, it's only because of your brilliant battle strategy that we won."

"So thank you," added Vanille. "Thank you for everything. And not just for taking that hit."

"No problem guys," said Hope, feeling the red rise in his cheeks, but Vanille only shook her head indignantly.

"No really, Hope. Thank you. You've done so much for us and Cocoon. Light would be so proud of what you've done. When we wake up from crystal, Hope, you'll see."

"I… what?"

And only then did Hope realize it'd just been a dream.

* * *

><p>"Director Estheim?"<p>

Hope had fallen asleep at his desk, it seemed. He mumbled something incoherent, a sign that he was awake and listening.

"Call it a day, Director, yeah?" Hope nodded weakly, waving a hand over his head to acknowledge that he had heard. He sighed and stared at his desk. Books and papers were scattered across the surface – his pen had been left uncapped, and upon closer inspection the sentence he'd been adding to his notes had been left unfinished.

Hope had poured his soul into mythological texts for the past three days, and already he'd gained much profit. He had so much to tell Noel, though he hadn't seen the man since visiting Vanille. Hope always left the tent early, having been awoken from strange, recurring dreams that almost always included Vanille, and by the time he got home Noel was already passed out. Hope only hoped Noel managed himself well during the day, as his physical exhaustion seemed to have finally caught up with him.

"Director Estheim!" Hope's thoughts were interrupted by the librarian, a tinge of irritation in her reprimanding voice. Apologizing sincerely, he quickly gathered his notes and made his leave from the Academy's library. He wasn't so worried about the books – the librarian knew not to touch them.

He had both good news and bad news. Indeed, reading up on mythology had certainly opened several doors. For starters, he learned the Thirteenth Ark served more of a purpose than his initial fascination; his own experiences with Arks might have been the reason he had overlooked this. Hope stumbled upon texts which spoke of the Thirteenth Ark being 'the Salvation for all of Pulse's children, the stronghold during the war that must be fought.'

He also found texts detailing the purposes of Arks. He'd heard a side of the story from Vanille and Fang, that they were training grounds for l'Cie. But the texts seemed to suggest a higher purpose: 'Preparation for the battle against the menace that lurks beyond.' And while the texts from that time couldn't figure out what the menace could be, history appeared to have revealed itself. Combining the two texts, Hope was certain that the chaos from Valhalla was the true 'menace from beyond.'

_And the Thirteenth Ark will be the salvation for all of Pulse's children?_

It was still afloat in the sky, of course; if the levitation power of the Graviton Cores had only been temporary, Hope would not have easily suggested using this power for a new Cocoon, and he wouldn't have easily abandoned the old one. Were the texts suggesting that they relocating everyone to the Ark? Or perhaps only the menace would be fought there, away from the people both in Bhunivelze and on Pulse below?

And what of the dampened intensity of Valhalla's chaos? Hope found no texts that suggested the chaos would be restrained. Hope's best bet was that that battle was already being fought. And though Noel and Sazh would both frown upon his keeping his hopes too high, Hope highly suspected that this battle had already begun in Valhalla: with Light.

If anything, Hope had been right about Etro and Valhalla. The texts said that Etro had been tasked with protecting world balance. Etro, who resided in Valhalla, who had sent Eidolons to the suffering l'Cie. Etro, who pitied the six l'Cie, and a child, and one other, and had granted them all salvation. Hope had been right – but then, so had Noel. The goddess had departed. Vanille and Fang would not so easily….

No, Hope couldn't say it. He knew there had to be some way for them to decrystallize.

Of course, Hope had found other things in the texts, though Hope wasn't as confident in making heads or tails out of these bits of information. He learned the creation story, at least as mythology depicted it, and the most interesting detail that stuck out for him was that, though the three gods – Pulse, Lindzei and Etro – were often referred to as gods, the texts seemed to refer to the three deities as being fal'Cie created by the god Bhunivelze.

Hope had named the new Cocoon knowing this, and it wasn't at all a coincidence that the new Cocoon had been named after this god. Hope had chosen the name from a text he'd read long ago, in his earlier days of research: _In all crystal. the heart that shines most brightly is called Bhunivelze_. At the time he'd given the new Cocoon its name, his choice had been an inspirational one, like a new found hope aloft in the sky.

What was this Crystal? – the texts he found seemed to suggest that Crystal was the purest form of Chaos. This alone was enough to confuse Hope. Was this the same chaos as that of Valhalla? – Hope figured no, that there were several types of Chaos, and that which resided in Valhalla was of a less pure form. Still, beyond these conjectures, Hope didn't really know how to interpret this.

Hope paused to frown at the sight before him. To his surprise, he had already made it to their tent. He'd been so caught up in his thoughts that the walk back had seemed mere minutes, though he knew quite well it usually took him a good twenty minutes to get from the library, through the tunnel, and to the far end of the Academy's section of the bunker. He certainly had had a lot to think about, and he felt quite accomplished for what he'd put together in only three days' time.

_Maybe I really should call it a day_, Hope thought to himself. And, with that, he forced himself not to make any more speculations regarding the matter.

Hope stepped into the tent, and unsurprisingly he found Noel already asleep. There was something about the sight that intrigued Hope. Noel tended to sleep on his side in a curled position, instead of Hope's more straight-and-lying-on-his-back position. He seemed vulnerable, almost. It was a position that suggested Noel might've been experiencing a nightmare, though he otherwise wasn't making any movement or sounds.

Noel's face was what caught Hope's attention the most. He looked peaceful while sleeping, contrary to Hope's earlier statement about him possibly having a nightmare. Sure, most people probably did look more peaceful while asleep, but seeing Noel asleep had a strange effect on Hope. It was like being introduced to a different side of Noel, something different than Noel's usually tough exterior. He knew Noel was inherently a kind person, especially when he'd been in the company of Serah. But Noel had come from a dying world, where being strong and thick-skinned was a necessity to deal with life's hardships, and it was this side of him that Hope tended to see most of.

Not wanting to disrupt the man's sleep, Hope silently moved toward his own mat, but Noel stirred before he could probably settle down.

"Hope…?" Hope sighed. He had woken Noel up. Noel sure was a light sleeper.

"Go back to sleep, Noel."

"No, I was… I was waiting for you." Noel gave a yawn as he spoke, groaning slightly as he stretched. Hope frowned; Noel had been waiting for him?

"Oh? Why?"

"Because… you said you had something to tell me." Hope couldn't help but to chuckle at this. He didn't think Noel had been awake enough to remember any of their late night conversations over the past few days.

"It'll take a while," said Hope as he remembered his previous resolve to not think about his research for the rest of the night. "Go back to sleep, Noel, I'll tell you later."

"You said that yesterday!" whined Noel. "_And _the day before!"

_Yeah, he definitely needs sleep._

"And you still haven't fully recuperated," countered Hope. "Listen to yourself, Noel, you sound exhausted."

"So do you!"

"I didn't say I wasn't." Sure, waking up at ridiculous hours and locking himself up in the Academy's library was beginning to take its toll. But at this rate Noel would not go to bed unless Hope shared the fruit of his research – which consequently meant that Hope wouldn't be getting sleep either. Hope needed to think of something, fast.

"How about this?" suggested Hope, the gears in his mind working quicker than ever. "I'll take a break from my research tomorrow. I'll tell you everything I know. Sounds good?" As an afterthought, Hope figured he could use the break anyway. He'd digested enough information for now; if anything, he could use his "break" to more properly interpret his findings.

"I'm on duty tomorrow afternoon," said Noel, his face scrunching up as he gave the compromise some thought. Hope smiled; it seemed Noel had taken his advice after all.

"I'll go with you," said Hope, and he even surprised himself. "Actually, this works out nicely. In the morning you can help me with my magic, and in the afternoon I'll help you with your duties and tell you everything you want to know."

"Not everything I want to know, everything _you _know," corrected Noel between yawns. "I told you before, I think. I don't really know how to teach someone magic, but I can try. But, um. Fine, you've got a deal. I'll have to ask the Lieutenant if it's okay for you to accompany me.'

"Sounds good." It was settled: Hope would be spending the entire day with Noel. Hope didn't mind at all, but he found amusement in the measures he'd taken just to get some rest. "Well, if you don't mind then, I'm going to bed."

"Alright…." Hope took this response positively, and at last he was able to settle down on his own mat. As he closed his eyes, Noel gave a shaky laugh, muttering his final words for the night:

"You're right, Hope, I really am exhausted."

"Told you."

And on that note, Hope plunged headfirst into another dream.

* * *

><p>Hope woke up the following morning to an empty tent, and at first this confused him. Where was Noel? Why had he woken up so early? Or had Hope been the one to wake up late? But in time it came back to him: the compromise he'd reached with Noel the night before. It didn't quite explain where Noel had gone, but it'd been a start.<p>

Hope stepped outside the tent after changing into a new uniform. Noel was nowhere in sight. He wondered if this was how Noel had felt over the past few days, or if the man had simply accepted Hope's absence and moved on. Hope knew it would've been easier if he could do the latter – Noel would return, anyway, especially if he really wanted information from Hope as he claimed– but he decided to make one last attempt in learning about Noel's whereabouts. After all, he owed the moogle a visit.

"Hey Dajh, can I come in?" If Dajh didn't answer, Hope would take the silence as the boy having still been asleep. But Hope did not have to wait very long.

"Yeah, come in!" Hope entered the tent cautiously. The Katzroys' tent showed more signs of occupation than his and Noel's tent. Hope found Dajh in the corner of the tent, but not before having taken in the other objects within the area. Most appeared to be Sazh's possessions; perhaps the man had left them behind to make the load for his airship lighter.

"Hey Hope," greeted Dajh as he stood up from where he'd been sitting. Hope smiled, and not just because Dajh's smile was rather contagious. In the boy's cradled arms was Mog, and by the way the moogle was resting it was almost as if Dajh had not once set him down.

"Has he woken up?" asked Hope. He wasn't surprised when Dajh shook his head. "I hope he's fine."

"Dr. Haussen thinks Mog's in crystal stasis," said Dajh. Hope's first reaction was to wonder when Dajh had even seen the woman, though he supposed Dajh couldn't have possibly spent the last few days in the tent by himself. But a bigger question soon arose, one far more important than Dajh's acquaintance with the true Director of the Academy.

"_Crystal stasis_? How?" Hope took a glance at the moogle. Mog certainly didn't look it.

Dajh hesitated, gaze turning to the floor. "I'm not sure, the way she explained it to me was really confusing. I told her to tell you her theory, coz I didn't get any of it."

"But Mog isn't even crystal." Crystal. For a brief moment Hope's thoughts flashed back to the mythological texts that had described Crystal as the purest form of Chaos. Somehow, this seemed irrelevant. They were talking about the crystallization of l'Cie, after all.

_Or in this case, the crystallization of moogles?_

"Oh right, she said it was _like _crystal stasis," amended Dajh, lighting up again. "You know, how Mog's sleeping and stuff. He's not dead, but he's not alive – well, he is, but… I don't know, ask her!"

"Alright, alright…" Though Hope laughed, he was anything but amused. It was only another wrench thrown at him, another question needing answering. Hope had simply assumed Mog had come from Valhalla, that his weakening was tied to Etro's departure, but Hope didn't quite think this was the case anymore. But where to gain information? The Academy knew little to nothing about moogles; Mog was the only one to have ever existed, to anyone's knowledge. The only person who would have any idea where to start was Noel, who probably knew at the least where the moogle had come from.

Speaking of Noel….

"Have you seen Noel this morning, by any chance?" asked Hope. Perhaps Dajh had seen Noel pass by, or maybe Noel had told the boy where he'd been off to.

"Yup! He said he was going to see his lieutenant. There was something he wanted to ask."

Hope smacked himself mentally. Noel had told him this the night before. And supposedly _Noel_ had been the one half-asleep…?

"Did he say when he'd be coming back?"

"Yup! He left a while ago, and he said he'd be an hour, tops. So he should be back – "

"Right about now," finished Noel, and both Hope and Dajh jumped in surprise at Noel's sudden entrance. "Hey Hope, you miss me?"

"Of course," Hope replied dryly, after he had recovered from Noel's surprise. "Ever heard of knocking? – And I don't mean that literally," he added, and he rolled his eyes when Noel had gone back to attempt knocking on the flimsy material of the tent.

"Tents aren't exactly soundproof," said Noel. "I could hear you talking about me from a pretty good distance."

"Not my fault you left without telling me."

"Oh, so you _did _miss me?" said Noel with a laugh. When Hope said nothing, Noel added, "Relax, Hope, I was just kidding. I didn't mean anything by it."

"So what did your lieutenant say?" asked Hope, with the clear intent of changing the topic. It wasn't that he hadn't missed Noel, though Noel hadn't really been gone long enough for Hope to actually miss him. It was just that he'd been shaken by Noel's sudden appearance, not to mention that entire morning had been out of the norm – and in an era where he could count everyone he knew well with the fingers on only one of his hands, Hope only felt more obligated to make sure everyone he had left was okay.

"Oh, the Lieutenant? He was surprised, but he allowed it. You're still coming, right?"

"Of course." Hope wasn't very well known to the majority of the population anyway, except perhaps by name. Hopefully his presence wouldn't cause any problems. "You'll still help me with my magic, right?"

"I'll try," said Noel. "Serah would've been able to help you better, she's the teacher after all."

"Yeah, but…."

Hope didn't want to finish that sentence. He knew it was a terrible coping strategy, though it was nowhere near as self-destructive as when he'd been forced to accept his mother's death. But his research needed him, and he'd promised himself he'd only return to Serah after they saved the world.

And he would, Hope would save the world. He'd had enough of failure to accept anything less.

Noel seemed to realized he'd said the wrong thing, and as if in an attempt to change the conversation, he asked, "How's Mog doing?"

"Same as ever," said Hope. Then he remembered he'd wanted to ask Noel about the moogle. "Hey, Noel, where did Mog come from?"

"Hmm? Where did Mog come from?"

"Yeah. Like, how did he come around being with you guys? Did he come from Valhalla?"

Noel shook his head, Hope's interest piqued. "Well, I _met_ him in Valhalla. Before I left Valhalla to find Serah, Lightning gave Mog to me as a good luck charm for Serah. But he didn't originate there. He got caught in a paradox, from some far off place where moogles were actually a common sight. I forgot the name… Ocean of Time? Anyway, he met Lightning, and _apparently _he lost a game of Rock Paper Scissors to her."

Noel said this as if he didn't quite believe it himself, and Hope had to fight the urge to laugh at the mental image of a serious Light throwing Scissors against a moogle's Paper. That Mog hadn't come from Valhalla… a new theory began to dawn upon Hope.

"The law of Valhalla is the weak serve the strong," recalled Hope, and Noel nodded in agreement. He'd read it once in texts explaining the nature of Eidolons. "So Mog met Light in Valhalla…."

The two fell into a silence; Dajh, who'd been listening to both men the entire time, looked at the two men in utter confusion, though he didn't seem to want an explanation. Hope wouldn't have given the boy one even if he'd asked, not because he wouldn't understand either way, but because Hope's mind was quickly piecing things together. His excitement boiled within him as he arrived at realizations….

But when he reached a conclusion, though it was at best an educated guess, his heart plummeted. He didn't like it, and he hoped it wasn't true, but he shared it with Noel anyway.

"Hey, Noel?"

"Yeah?"

"Originally I thought Mog had drawn power from Etro, I think I told you that. But that was when I thought Mog was a creature of Valhalla. But if Mog serves Lightning…" And Hope still didn't like it. Was this what Noel had meant, to not keep his hopes up? – But what about his theories from his research, did that mean he'd spent the last few days under false assumptions?

Noel appeared to be lost.

"Hope…" he said slowly, "…what are you trying to say?"

"I… I don't think Mog's asleep because the goddess is gone."

And then, in a more solemn voice, with his head bowed, Hope added,

"I think Mog's asleep… because _Light _is gone."

* * *

><p>After leaving Dajh with Mog, Hope and Noel set out for an empty room that Dr. Haussen had gifted them; she'd been very gracious in appeasing the former Director's needs once Hope had explained what they would be using it for. They began immediately; Hope tried, he really did try, but he was having no luck. It didn't help that he was still distracted by the thought of Light. He himself had conjured the explanation for Mog's unresponsiveness, yet it still disturbed him. Even if Hope had no real proof to support the conclusion, and even though his research went against Light's defeat, he still couldn't shake away the thought.<p>

Hope became frustrated far too quickly. He had been so proficient with magic in his days as a l'Cie, yet now he was fruitless. Even _civilians _had been able to produce simple fire spells without even trying. But he couldn't, not anymore.

It hurt Hope. He hated feeling useless. It was one of the reasons he took his research seriously. But research alone wasn't enough; he wanted to be able to do something, to fight for those he cared about, to protect them. He'd seen too many people sacrificed for a better world – his mother, Vanille and Fang, Serah, maybe even Light – and he was tired of it. He wanted to protect them all. And after everything his friends had done for him, he would not settle with taking another backseat.

But at that moment, he was getting nowhere. Hope was struggling.

"I… I can't do it."

"You're thinking too much about it, Hope. Try to clear your head – "

"– I did – "

"– and try not to focus too much about – "

"– I'm not – "

"– just let it happen – "

"– but nothing's happening!"

Hope was finished. With sullen spirits he sank to his knees, falling back and slumping against the wall. He wasn't giving up, though he was struggling and though it seemed a near impossible feat; ten years had certainly put him out of practice. No, he'd keep trying, as much as his lack of success was killing him, with or without Noel. But for the day, he was done.

"Hey." Speak of the devil. Hope turned to Noel, who had taken a seat beside him. Noel's face was filled with concern. "It'll be okay."

"I…" Hope had wanted to say 'I know,' though he wasn't quite sure if he would have meant it. "I… I guess. It doesn't change anything. I still can't use magic."

"Everything takes practice, doesn't it?"

"There were civilians who could make fire out of nothing without even meaning to."

"But you're not asking for that, are you? You want to master magic, right? – not accidentally set things on fire."

Hope frowned. He hadn't thought of that. He'd been too upset with his failures, too quick in finding outlets to release his frustration at anyone who'd had more results than himself.

"Besides," continued Noel, "No one ever said magic was easily accessible, right? You've told me stories about people using magic by accident, but have you ever heard many stories about people wanting to use magic and then succeeding with little effort?"

"I… no, not really."

_Not including Serah._

Hope sighed and turned to Noel, and he gave the other man a smile. He appreciated Noel's optimism, but more importantly his sense of reality. Ever since fate had thrown one twist after another, Hope found himself losing his ground more often than he should've. But Noel had been there to show him the way – three times now, had it been? And Hope couldn't be more grateful.

He voiced this to Noel, though he hadn't meant to at first. The words slipped from his mouth, and before Hope could stop himself he was telling the man about his dreams, his frustrations, his fears and his desires. He told Noel how he wanted to save the world and to protect his friends from further harm. He told him how things kept going wrong, how he kept losing people for the sake of a supposedly better world.

Noel listened intently through it all, and when Hope had finished exposing his heart, Noel wrapped an arm around Hope's shoulders, pulling him close.

"Try to cheer up. I know how you feel," was all Noel had said.

Hope didn't question it. He didn't even pull away. He only sighed, rested his head on Noel's shoulder, and let go of everything.

* * *

><p>After Hope had thoroughly apologized for soaking Noel's shoulder, and after Noel had repeatedly assured Hope that it had been nothing, neither man felt like making a second attempt at magic. With a decent hour left before duty, Noel gave the suggestion that Hope explain his research to him at that time, as opposed to later on when they would be busy. Hope agreed without hesitation, and as best he could he began to explain his findings.<p>

He told Noel about the Thirteenth Ark, about the battle that was meant to be fought, about Valhalla and Etro's blessing to the l'Cie, and about how it would be difficult for Vanille and Fang to be freed without the goddess. He tried not to dwell on the latter too much, partly because he didn't want Noel feeling guilty for having been played by Caius and partly because he didn't want to believe that freeing Vanille and Fang was a lost cause. Instead he focused on the Thirteenth Ark and the "menace from beyond."

"Valhalla," said Noel, and Hope nodded.

"I was going to tell you that maybe that battle had already started, because there was nothing at all in the texts that said the chaos would be restrained, you know? I was going to say someone might've already begun to fight back – Light – but because of what I said about Mog…."

"You don't know that for sure," said Noel. "I'd be more likely to trust your research. What you said about Mog was just a hypothesis, wasn't it? Besides, weren't you the one who asked me if I really wanted Lightning dead that badly?"

"I… yeah, you're right." He _had_ said that, hadn't he? Hope had to admit, it sounded harsher now that he was hearing it from Noel's mouth and not his own. "If I'm not giving up on Vanille and Fang, I can't give up on Light either, right?"

"Yeah. But you know what else?" Noel paused, sighing. "The situation we're in now… was always meant to happen. Which means… what Serah and I did hadn't doomed the world, after all. We didn't give the world something that shouldn't have happened."

"Yeah…." _Noel must've been taking it to heart_, Hope added to himself. Hope knew Noel wouldn't have been the only one; he was quite sure Colonel Euledin held Noel somewhat responsible for their current situation. It wasn't that Hope blamed Noel, but there was no denying that Noel had been involved, that he'd killed Caius – and unknowingly, the goddess. It almost reminded Hope of Vanille: the resolve to fix the world while bearing burdens Noel and Vanille had to carry on his and her own, respectively.

"That's… a relief." Hope wanted to reach out, but he didn't know how. He'd never been good at the sort. He still felt uncomfortable from having cried in front of Noel, though he did feel much better after having done so.

In the end, Hope had been the vulnerable one, hadn't he?

Words were the only things Hope could offer. "You're okay, Noel. You're fixing your mistakes, and that's what counts, right?"

If Vanille were with them, she would have said the same thing.

"Thanks Hope." With that Noel stood up and patted the dust off his clothes. He offered a hand, which Hope took, and soon both men were on their feet once more. "Let's go serve some lunch."

It took a bit for Hope to figure out what Noel had meant, but once it occurred to him he agreed willingly, despite having already had their conversation. It turned out to be an enjoyable experience for Hope, being free from his research and from people recognizing him and stopping him in the halls. He was particularly amused by a little boy who seemed to know little about the current situation; he kept coming by to visit, asking Noel over and over again why he couldn't eat more. Apparently, he did this on a daily basis.

As Noel predicted, they didn't really have much time to talk, especially when they had been helping out with the food bank. Later on in the day, when they shifted tasks to patrolling down civilian tents, they had enough time to talk briefly about the Thirteenth Ark and what the texts could have meant. Noel's guess was that they would have their final battle there, which had also been Hope's safest conclusion. But against whom? Pulse? Or would their situation deteriorate into something far worse?

_Light, if you're really fighting out there… don't give up. I believe in you._

It wasn't long before Noel's duties were finished for the day. Hope felt exhausted, though more than anything it was that his feet were aching – he now knew why Noel was passed out each night he returned to the tent. Apparently Noel needed to take care of a few more errands, so he told Hope to go on ahead to the tent. At first Hope had insisted on waiting, but it didn't take Noel long to convince him to leave.

For once, theories and interpretations were not plaguing Hope's mind as he walked home. He was in good spirits, despite his failed attempts at magic and the possibility of not being able to save Light, Fang and Vanille looming over him. Whether it was because he'd spent the day around people instead of books or because he'd been given the chance to let go of the emotions that had been pent up inside of him, Hope knew there was one person he needed to thank: Noel.

Hope waited for Noel to come back, so he could give the man his thanks before going to bed. But Noel was taking a lot longer than Hope had expected, and Noel's delay soon began to worry him. Noel had said he wouldn't be long, yet Hope was sure almost an hour had now passed. Hope kept telling himself not to worry, that Noel could take care of himself, that perhaps he'd just been caught up with something. But the longer time drew on without Noel's return, the more his worries took hold over him.

When Hope had finally heard Noel's footsteps outside their tent, he let out a huge sigh of relief. He forced himself to wait a little longer, and he ran through his head one last time the words he wanted to tell Noel.

But Noel was not the one to peek his head into the tent.

"Dr. Haussen?" But the woman said nothing and only motioned for Hope to exit the tent. Hope began to panic. "What's going on? Where's Noel?"

"Noel?" Dr. Haussen paused for a moment. "Noel went on ahead, I believe," she said quietly, glancing at Dajh's tent, as if not wanting to wake him up.

Hope only stared at her, dumbfounded.

"Went on ahead? What? Is he okay?"

"Right now, yes." Dr. Haussen sighed. Hope did not like the tone in her voice one bit.

"Pulse has made their move."

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Posted: <strong>19 Feb 2012**  
>Last Edited: <strong>09 May 2012

_Upcoming: Hope meets an old friend._


	5. An Unwanted Reunion

_In the previous episode, Hope's research sheds some light on the current situation, but newly found knowledge gives birth to more plausible theories. Hope struggles with coming to terms with his discoveries, and coupled with his inefficiency in magic Hope reaches a breaking point. Noel is there to ease Hope's insecurities, but before Hope can thank Noel for his kind words he learns that the Pulsians have made their first move…._

* * *

><p><strong>Crystal Fortresses<br>**_Two men seeking to save the future, driven by the burdens of their past: Perhaps they had more in common than Hope once thought._

Episode 5: An Unwanted Reunion

* * *

><p>Noel felt guilty.<p>

He had known since having reported to duty earlier that afternoon that he would be leaving in the evening. He didn't known the full reason; Lieutenant Strike had only told him that their squadron would be embarking later that evening. His only instructions had been to not tell the civilian population and to tie up any loose ends before reporting to his office. Though Noel didn't quite know what constituted as a loose end, he did make sure to keep things under wrap – so telling Hope had been somewhat out of the question.

He hoped Hope wasn't worrying about him too much. Well, after the events of that morning, Noel was sure Hope would be worrying. But it was too late to turn back, or else he'd be keeping the Lieutenant. He supposed he would be hearing from Hope later.

As he made his way to the Lieutenant's office, Noel began to wonder about the specifics of their mission. That they were being deployed in the middle of the night while civilians were asleep and unaware spelled bad news for Noel. The tamest situation Noel could come up with was that someone was going to steal from the food bank and that they would be attempting to catch that person in the act; the worst, that their situation with Valhalla's chaos had worsened.

He hadn't expected the problem to be Pulse, though it wasn't surprising either. As the members of their squadron filed into the office (Noel estimated them to be about twelve men strong), Lieutenant Strike began to explain the current situation.

"We received a radio transmission from Pulse via radio earlier this morning," began the Lieutenant, pacing about the front of his office. "They requested an audience with Colonel Euledin, in the middle of the night nonetheless. The Colonel has granted this request, and he plans to meet with the Pulsians in about two hours. As you all have probably guessed, we'll be serving as his escort to make sure things run… smoothly.

"We'll be heading to Port Dexum, where we have asked the Pulsians to make their landing. It's the furthest port from the underground bunkers. And yes, though the bunkers are underground and not in immediate danger, it's best to play on the side of caution, should things get nasty.

"Naturally, since our squadron usually tasks itself with civilian duties, you're all inappropriately equipped as of now, so leave your weaponry behind. Those specially trained in the usage of a gunblade may pick one up from the armory. The new prototype should be available, but I want them going only to my best men. Otherwise, equip yourselves with any machine gun you feel comfortable using."

"I don't know how to use a gun," Noel said bluntly. The whole room save the Lieutenant burst into laughter. It was then that Noel realized how stupid he must've sounded, though he'd been honest, and he immediately wished he hadn't spoken so instinctively.

The Lieutenant stared at him in disbelief.

"Can you wield a sword?" he asked after some time.

"Exceptionally well," said Noel. "Two swords, even." Not that he was bragging, of course.

"That'll do. Just don't get yourself shot." The Lieutenant's gaze lingered upon Noel a few seconds longer before turning back to the rest of his squadron. The laughter immediately died down as the Lieutenant spoke once more. "Now I will stress this once, and I will stress this many times over the next few hours. Do _not_. Show. Hostility. Keep all weapons concealed until given a reason to fight. Are we clear?"

An overwhelming "_Yes sir_!" was the response.

"That's all for now. Meet back here in half an hour when you're fully equipped and ready to embark. Don't delay, you hear me?" The men in the room nodded before filing out. Noel too prepared to leave, with the intention of following everyone to the armory, but before he could the Lieutenant called for him and requested that he stay behind. Noel could only guess it was because of the comment he'd made; hopefully he wasn't in any trouble.

"I'll give you one chance," said the Lieutenant once everyone else had left. Noel gulped. One chance at what, exactly? – but before Noel could ask the Lieutenant continued. "Do you want to stay behind? Given the nature of the mission, we hopefully won't need to resort to any fighting. But if something goes wrong, I don't want you getting killed because you couldn't use a gun."

"Oh…." Noel sighed in relief. He hadn't been in trouble after all. "I'm fine. I'm a pretty tough guy. I don't die easily."

"Lots of people have said those words throughout history," said the Lieutenant. "About half of them died anyway."

Noel reconsidered his position. If he backed out now, he would be able to return home to Hope. He would no longer feel guilty, he could apologize to Hope for having not told him he wouldn't be returning. Hell, the man was probably still waiting for him, even now. But if he went with the squadon to Port Dexum, then there would be a chance he'd find answers. He wasn't even sure what kind of answers he'd find, but he had a feeling there would be something. Noel wasn't too big on violence, though he was ready to defend himself if things did go wrong.

Noel definitely had more reasons for going back to Hope, but he couldn't make himself do it. So, forcing the thoughts from his mind, Noel told the Lieutenant, "I'll go."

"Right." Lieutenant Strike gave him a soft smile, to Noel's surprise, and he patted Noel lightly on the shoulder. "Your determination will keep you alive. Now go get ready."

"Thank you, sir." And he'd meant it. For all intents and purposes, Noel shouldn't even have been allowed to go. He was only a volunteer for civilian protection, and he was clearly inexperienced – he'd made that embarrassingly clear. It wasn't a complaint, but it intrigued Noel that the Lieutenant was allowing him to serve anyway.

_There has to be a reason why he'd let me come along_, Noel thought to himself.

Noel turned to leave, then paused, then remembered he had no clue where the armory was located. "Um… where exactly is the armory?"

The Lieutenant laughed.

"Here, I'll lead the way."

* * *

><p>"What do you mean, '<em>Pulse has made their move<em>?' Are they attacking?"

Hope didn't understand. Had Noel been asked to fight? And why had Dr. Haussen come to him? Hope didn't understand why Noel was being asked to fight at all. Didn't Noel belong to the military faction concerned with civilian protection?

The explanation that followed was incomplete yet informative. Someone from the Pulsian city had requested to speak with Colonel Euledin, and Noel's squadron was one of the many tasked with escorting him. Hope had a bad feeling about this news; as if a confrontation in person wasn't bad enough, that it would be taking place so late into the night?

"That's as much as anyone knows," said Dr. Haussen after she had finished. "Given your friend Sazh's previous reception, I don't think it's going to be a pleasant meeting. Likely the Colonel's going to be given some sort of ultimatum. Worse case scenario, it's a full-out ambush, though that's what the escort's supposed to be there for."

"Are they coming here, or is the Colonel flying to Pulse?"

"They're coming here. I doubt the Colonel would've agreed otherwise." Hope nodded slowly as he tried to makes heads or tails out of the information. He wondered if Noel had known about any of this when they'd spent the afternoon together. Hope tried to think on Noel's behavior, perhaps there'd been something unusual that Hope simply hadn't noticed, but he couldn't think of anything.

_Supposing if Noel did know… why wouldn't he have told me?_

With this thought in his mind, Hope decided Noel must've only found out after they'd split ways.

"As for why I'm here," continued Dr. Haussen, as if having read his earlier thoughts, "While I'd like to say that I came to talk about the whereabouts of your charming friend, I'm actually here because little Dajh told me to explain something to you personally."

"Ah right, he kinda told me." Hope pursed his lips together, his previous Mog-related theories returning to him. "He said Mog was in some sort of crystal stasis. When did you tell him, anyway?"

"I babysit him," she said. "I see him every day. He's quite a cute kid." She then frowned as she glanced around the tent. "You and Noel really live here? Everything's so… _neat_. Well, it's empty, but that's beside the point. Still not what I'd expect from two men."

Hope stared at her blankly. Did she really pause just to say that? She sure was quick to digress.

"I'm quite organized, thank you very much."

"Ah, so you're the one cracking the whip, I see." Hope rolled his eyes at Dr. Haussen's amusement. What did that even mean? "But like I told Dajh, I think Mog's conscious right now, just physically unable to move or interact, similar to crystal stasis. That's pretty much the extent of the likeness, though. I doubt he's asleep because he completed some sort of Focus."

It would've made a fair argument. Didn't Noel say Mog had been given to him by Light as a good luck charm for Serah? Wouldn't that mean it was actually Serah's condition, not Light's, to which Mog was bound? But Hope wasn't going to dwell on mindless possibilities, though it did remind him about his improvised explanation involving Light – and now that he thought about it some more, wouldn't Dr. Haussen be able to make sense out of that theory?

"You woudn't happen to be familiar with Lightning, would you?" Hope asked slowly, gauging the researcher's response.

Dr. Haussen nodded in his favor. "The woman depicted in the ancient Oracle Drives, one of six l'Cie responsible for destroying Orphan, and the person you claimed during the last briefing was still fighting in Valhalla? – and by the way, we'll need another briefing soon. But yes, I guess you could say I've done my research on Lightning Farron. Why do you ask?"

Hope then told her about his theory with Mog and Light, that Mog had been in Light's service, and that Hope suspected that Mog's sleep was influenced by Light and not by Etro; when he finished, Dr. Haussen shook her head in disagreement.

"Even if the weak serve the strong, I don't think their lives are connected in the way you're suggesting."

"So then, do you know of another explanation?" Hope sighed. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to feel bad for having presented a faulty theory or relieved at the possibility that Light could still alive somewhere. Regardless, there was still Hope, and it was enough of a reason to celebrate.

"Well, you might be on the right track," said the researcher as she scratched her chin. "Actually, I think right now Mog's just following orders and doing exactly what Lightning's told him to do."

"You mean, Lightning _told_ Mog to sleep?" Hope frowned at this, unsure whether to believe the Director's words. From his memory it had been more like Mog being drained of power, rather than the moogle being asked to enter a deep sleep.

"Consciously or not, either way, he'd have no choice but to obey, right?" But then the researcher shrugged, shaking her head, and Hope was only left more confused than when he'd first asked. "In other words, your guess is as good as mine. But I don't think your friend's dead."

"Yeah, Noel said that…." There was a pause. At least they hadn't completely lost Mog, though they weren't exactly making any progress either. "So, about this issue with Pulse. What's there for me to do?"

"You?" asked Dr. Haussen. "You, nothing. Let the military folk deal with it. Take a break, get some rest."

"But I just took a break," protested Hope. Sitting back and taking a break while others were doing important things wasn't something Hope was going to settle with, even if military concerns weren't necessarily his affairs. "I'm not going to just sit here and – "

"You willing to use a gun?" interjected Dr. Haussen, cold at first. But when Hope could not give her an immediate answer, a soft smile came upon her face. "It's Noel, isn't it?"

Hope stared at the woman before him. "What do you mean, _it's Noel_?"

"You're worried about him. Aren't you? I mean, it's not like you can fight, and you don't seem the type to just fling yourself where you're not needed."

Hope was fuming on the inside. He hated how useless she was making him feel. Given her calm composure, she was probably choosing her words specifically for this effect. Was she _trying _to upset him? Was she trying to get him to admit something? Yet… she had been right about one thing. If only partly, Hope _did _want to make sure Noel was fine. After all, it was by Hope's urging that Noel was now directly involved in military affairs. Any involvement Noel had in upcoming wars would be of his doing.

"Thought so," said Dr. Haussen, before Hope could even find an answer to give her. "I guess there's no use arguing. We'll just have to go."

"I… what? Go?"

She nodded firmly. "You want to be involved, don't you? And like hell I'm letting you go alone." Dr. Haussen paused for a moment, running a hand through her thick, untamed hair. "Now let's see. I don't think speaking with Colonel Euledin will get us anywhere. He's got too much pride, he probably thinks he's got this one in the bag. That said, I'm pretty sure anyone in the escort won't want the research division getting in their business. That pretty much leaves us with only one choice… if you're willing to go on an adventure, I mean."

"An adventure…" muttered Hope. His thought immediately flashed back to the dream he'd had not too long ago, when he'd defeated Geiseric with Vanille and Fang. He wondered if what Dr. Haussen had in mind would be that sort of adventure; perhaps the researcher was just being overly grandiose.

Still. Hope couldn't say no.

"We'll have to leave soon," Dr. Haussen said with a smile, once Hope had given his consent. "That is, if we want to get there on time. We'll have to travel above ground. If it wasn't nighttime we could travel through the system of bunkers, though that would take us forever, and we would only be able to get so close before having to resurface anyway. Problem with leaving above ground is that the military imposes a curfew, and from what my librarian tells me you're quite familiar with the curfew by now. Always closing down the house, I hear."

"That's not true…"

_Definitely true. _

Hope cleared his throat and turned away. "But staying on topic, how do we get there?"

"I own a velocycle."

"You do?" This definitely surprised Hope. He couldn't picture Dr. Haussen riding a velocycle. Then again, Fang rode dragons, and it was rather hard to not think of Fang every time he took in the researcher's crazy hair. Compared to Bahamut, velocycles weren't quite so bad. Hope wondered, though only briefly, what sort of woman Dr. Haussen was outside of her research and away from the Academy. But the woman was speaking to him still, and he didn't have very long to ponder over it.

"I told you, it'll be an adventure," she said. "Come, I'll show you." Hope nodded, not that there was much else he could do, and as he followed her out he patted his person to make sure that the pouch of emergency supplies he'd fetched from his house a few days ago was still attached to his belt. They hadn't had to sneak past any soldiers, to Hope's surprise; at the very least, he thought they would have stopped him for interrogation, if not Dr. Haussen as well. But the guards all seemed to accept Dr. Haussen's explanations without question.

"They're understaffed, and they've much more important things to worry about than the two heads of the research division wandering back to the Academy," explained Dr. Haussen once they'd left earshot. "Well, mostly me, since my quarters also happen to be inside this building."

"I see," said Hope. All schemes of sneaking back into the library after hours were abandoned.

Getting past the guards on the ground floor proved the more difficult task, as neither had any reason for being above ground. The plan was simple: Dr. Haussen pulled from her purse what she hastily explained was a Ruinga Bomb, a ball-shaped device which operated similarly to the manadrives once used by PSICOM, when magic had still been inaccessible to humans. According to the Director, the device would release a small, contained, magic-based explosion upon impact; as she rolled it across the floor and as it hit the opposite wall, the ball emitted a loud bang, and the guards immediately hurried over to assess the situation.

"Come on," whispered the researcher, and Hope followed as they slipped past the distracted guards. If the idea of Dr. Haussen owning a velocycle hadn't shocked Hope, seeing this side of her most certainly did.

As they entered the garage and found Dr. Haussen's velocycle, Hope stopped and turned to the researcher. There was something on his mind that he'd been pondering about throughout their escape, something that now needed to be said. Despite his fascination with all of Dr. Haussen's quirks, he could not fathom why she was going out of her way to help him. Wouldn't this defiance put her job in danger? Or did she secretly want to go along, too? Perhaps she had her own ulterior motives?

"I just wanted to say thanks," he said quietly. "For being so willing to help me, despite your position. Even if it's not really proper of me to stick my nose where it doesn't belong."

"Nonsense, you're the true Director! It's an honor being in your presence, let alone being able to work with you. Perhaps you might not realize it, having slept through time and all, but you've really inspired some of the age's greatest researchers and leaders."

"I… really?" Had he really had that big of an influence? Everything seemed like such a blur these days, and given the current state of things it was almost as if thirteen years of research had gone to waste. Yet he tried to stay optimistic: If one thing had gone as planned, it was that Bhunivelze had been successfully levitated.

"Besides," continued Dr. Haussen as she climbed on top of the velocycle, "we were expecting you. Everyone knew you were locked up in a time capsule, though no one knew why you'd done it so suddenly without telling anyone, or why you'd locked yourself in without any way for us to check up on you. Of course, no one back then is even alive right now, so it's really hard to speak on behalf of the Academy from one hundred years ago. But records did suggest you would wake up to see Bhunivelze's levitation, so we had a good idea when to expect you."

Hope nodded. This made sense. The Academy _had_ had a general idea of his plans, namely his wanting to witness the new Cocoon's levitation. But the exact moment in which he'd gone back to sleep, only Snow had known. Snow, who was still lost and unaccounted for, somewhere in time. Yet he'd saved his life, and Hope could not thank him enough, if only he knew how to show his appreciation.

As he climbed onto the velocycle and seated himself behind Dr. Haussen, his thoughts flashed back to Alyssa. She was the reason he'd been so unexpectedly hurried toward the future. Mixed emotions arose. He still felt resentment for being betrayed. He'd _trusted _her, and she had put Serah and Noel in danger. _Why _shehad done what she did, that was what Hope wished he knew. Yet despite her betrayal, he still had the urge to forgive her. She'd done so much for him and his research: Her proposals for the new Cocoon, her invention of the time capsule. How else would Hope be here now, if not for her?

Hope was shaken from these thoughts as the velocycle's engine roared to life, and within moments they were into the air. Hope could barely even tell that they weren't underground anymore. Their surroundings had become so dark; it had almost reminded him of the day Cocoon fell, when Cocoon's fal'Cies had begun to fail them, when Phoenix had stopped providing light for their world. And the air: it wasn't as stuffy as the air in the underground, yet there was still something unfamiliar about it, something Hope couldn't explain off the top of his head.

Hope was suddenly reminded of when he and Vanille had taken into the air, so many years ago, before he had become a l'Cie. It had been too long ago for Hope to remember his feelings back then, except that he was still terribly shaken and enraged from the loss of his mother. No, riding the velocycle was more of a physical memory, something he only remembered because of how it felt to be on top of a velocycle and how infrequently he actually rode one.

_Physical memories…_.

Again, Alyssa consumed his thoughts.

"You seem taken by something," said Dr. Haussen suddenly, and Hope was again shaken from his thoughts. "Most people have a blast when they're in the air like this."

"I… yeah. I have a lot on my mind." Hope frowned. He wondered if Dr. Haussen would know about Alyssa's fate. Alyssa would've been long gone by now, but a part of him wanted his unease to be put to rest. Alyssa, the woman who had both helped and betrayed him, the closest friend he had when everyone else seemed to have left him behind.

"Dr. Haussen?"

"Call me Ellen. I think we're far beyond formalities if I'm sneaking you out of the Academy on a velocycle."

"Right…" Hope started again. "Hey Ellen, you know quite a bit about the Academy's history, right? Can you tell me what happened to Alyssa Zaidelle?"

Ellen did not reply immediately, though Hope could not see her expression given their current positions. He could only assume the woman was attempting to recall what she knew. Or had her punishment really been that bad for Ellen hesitate like this?

But Ellen, it seemed, knew nothing.

"Alyssa Zaidelle? I'm afraid I've never heard of the name, I'm sorry."

* * *

><p>The airship ride to Port Dexum took longer than Noel had expected, not that they were flying very fast or very high. The ride itself was rather silent and awkward; most of the other men were too scared to speak while in the Colonel's presence. Noel didn't understand why they were so intimidated, and he passed it off as some sort of social construct of the era that he couldn't relate to – but so as to not pull off another idiot move in front of his squadron, Noel followed by their example and also remained quiet. As a result, Noel found himself with an awful amount of time on his hands and an awful number of things he hadn't really had the time to think about or question. Sure, there were the moments right before going to bed, and occasionally certain thoughts would surface in his conscience as he was reminded of them. But it had been a while since he didn't have any distractions. Self-reflection seemed to be the only pastime available to him.<p>

He thought of Serah first, not that he had ever stopped thinking about her, really. It was hard not to think about her; after all, Noel had spent an entire journey with her by his side. Her company would be the biggest void to fill, but it was more than just her physical presence. His days were quieter now, more somber. Serah wasn't there to offer her input; in their travels she had analyzed nearly everything they did together. He couldn't turn to her with his questions or doubts anymore.

And her dreams of finding her sister and saving Cocoon – had they died with her? Had it even been possible to see those dreams realized? Had they simply been too selfish? Noel didn't need reminding what situation they'd ended up in because of their actions. As far as he knew, the only way to proceed was forward. Even if they'd done the wrong thing, Noel could only accept the present and fix what was in front of him. There was nothing in the past he thought he could've done differently… except Caius.

_Caius. _Once mentor, once friend, once someone he trusted. He'd had dreams with Caius: to protect Yeul together. He'd accepted that Caius had become his enemy, if not blindly. But to have been manipulated, to have been played into that man's hands? Noel hadn't even realized how much the thought stabbed at his heart. If there was one thing Noel knew about himself, it was that he trusted people too easily, that he always tried to see the best in people. Noel knew he was doing this, too. But what had he gotten in return? – The fate of the world, the blame of the death of the Goddess, the heaviest of burdens.

Just how many people would blame him for the state of the world, if only they knew the truth? Even if they did know, Noel couldn't hold it against them. He knew for a fact that the majority of the military held him responsible for the mess they were in now. Noel could only imagine what it was like from their perspective, having a bunch of people suddenly arrive from the past and bring about the end of the world, all because of their actions. Noel was surprised that he was even being allowed to help at all; to the rest of the world, Noel only had failures. But it was only more of a reason for Noel to try harder, _because _so many people were holding him responsible. It was overwhelming, almost, that so many people had expectations for him, more than he could ever have been used to – and he didn't want to let any of them down.

But sucking up his pride and moving forward was easier said than done; despite his current involvement in the Academy's military, Noel still found himself in a bit of a slump. That he had something at all to occupy his mind and pass time was of Hope's doing, and it was on this note that Noel's thoughts drifted toward Hope. Hope, who had never once doubted Noel and Serah, who had always believed their story without question. If there was anyone now he didn't want to disappoint, it was Hope. Hope had dreams that were just as large as Serah's – no, they _were _the same dreams as Serah's….

Noel knew his answer. Serah's dreams had definitely not died with her. They were living on through Hope, who was still fighting to see those dreams to their realization, even when he couldn't clearly see light at the end of the tunnel and even though he struggled in finding answers and solutions. His attempts to find answers in mythology, his attempts to save Fang, Vanille, Lightning… not once had Hope given up.

There was a split-second flash of admiration that coursed through Noel, an admiration for Hope's determination and persistence. Suddenly he found it: the jump-start out of the slump he'd fallen into after having lost Serah and having witnessed the world fall into ruin. Serah had never left them. Hope really had meant it when he said it wasn't truly goodbye. So long as Hope stayed alive, so long as he kept pushing forward, Serah's legacy would never leave them.

It sounded a bit strange at first, when Noel repeated what he'd just thought up his head. But Noel took it for what it was. Helping Hope where he could, protecting Hope and his ideals and his dreams: That was what Noel would set his mind on.

After all, Hope had gotten back up on his feet. Now Noel needed to do the same.

It was at that moment that the airship arrived at Port Dexum. With nearly an hour until the Pulsians' expected arrival, they were all to report for one last briefing. Deplaning had taken a good ten minutes; Noel was one of the last off the ship, and he followed the other soldiers away from the landing area, down several corridors, and at last into a large conference room.

"Standing room only?" complained one of the soldiers in the room. "It's fuckin' midnight and my legs are tired as hell, what is this…?"

"Alright, listen up!" The room immediately grew quiet at the sharp interjection. Toward the front of the room was a man dressed in the same attire as Lieutenant Strike: the Lieutenant Colonel of another squadron, Noel could only assume. "We're going to run down the specifics with y'all one last time. Listen closely!" He then began to explain how the Pulsian ship was to be landing at a different dock from the one they'd arrived at; Colonel Euledin was to meet the Pulsians in person, as well as hold his audience, at that dock. According to the Lieutenant, this measure was being taken to prevent unauthorized persons from deplaning without the Colonel's knowledge.

"The Colonel has agreed to a two-person escort," the Lieutenant continued to explain. "Colonel Euledin and Pulse's representative will each have two men personally escorting them during their meeting. On our side, Lieutenant Strike and Soldier Noel Kreiss will serve as the Colonel's escort. All other troops are to remain along the perimeter of the docking area, or in this room if your squadron has been assigned to emergency standby."

This news shocked Noel, and he could almost feel many of the other troops turning their gazes to regard him. That no one had told him was only a fraction of his surprise; when had this been decided, and why him? It was bad enough that his own squadron saw him as incompetent, especially after his remark about not knowing how to use a gun. Noel only hoped he could actually do the job well. Yet Noel also saw this as an opportunity. If he outperformed, if he kept the Colonel safe, perhaps the military would put more trust in him and more faith in his abilities.

The briefing concluded shortly afterward. Noel was immediately summoned by Lieutenant Strike, and they and Colonel Euledin then began to make their way to the dock where they were to meet the Pulsians. The Colonel did not waste any time; he had already begun to speak in the midst of the hustle and bustle around them, even before Noel could hear him properly. He swore he heard his two superiors talking about chocobos, but he was sure he'd just misheard.

"…your weapons, don't want hostility," Noel heard him say, though after all of the reminders he'd been given he didn't have to try very hard to figure out what the Colonel was going on about. "But let's be honest, it's going to happen, so stay on guard."

"You really think they're gonna fight?" asked the Lieutenant.

"Naturally. They wouldn't grant us an audience that day when everything started. Suddenly they want one now… sounds fishy." A silence fell between them; beside them, troops were rushing down the halls, shouting things at each other as they passed.

Noel took the chance to interrupt.

"Can I ask a question?" he asked, and both men turned on him.

"You just did," said the Colonel, and the Lieutenant laughed and shook his head.

"Ask another one, Noel."

Noel nodded at his Lieutenant. "Well, why me? Why not have another Lieutenant?"

"We were given the impression you had experience in being a bodyguard," said the Colonel dismissively, and without another word he led his company a sharp right and down another corridor. Noel didn't quite agree with this – he immediately thought of the sleeping faces of Yeul and Serah, and he bit back his bitterness – but Noel chose not to remark.

* * *

><p>The moment the Pulsian representative and his personal escort had stepped off their airship, Noel knew that something was not right.<p>

"I don't recognize him," Colonel Euledin whispered to the two men beside him. The Colonel's words were Noel's first signs of something being amiss, though Noel did not show signs of his concern; Lieutenant Strike's only reaction was a stiff nod in acknowledgment. Once the three men from Pulse stopped before them, again the Colonel said, "I don't recognize you."

Noel took a moment to observe the three men. Two of them were nearly identical in appearance, if not solely because of the uniform each wore. The third, however, had an interesting choice of attire. He was fitted entirely in black, which served to highlight a particularly fascinating and bright emblem embedded over his heart. It certainly wasn't a military uniform, or if it was then it certainly wasn't the Academy's. The outfit itself was loose-fitting, appearing to allow for maximum agility and flexibility.

It was this man who spoke first. "Ulhelm Gregor, or Gregor for short." The man bowed lowly, almost mockingly, or so Noel thought. He regarded the Colonel with a polite bow before regarding his escort, and to Noel's surprise Gregor's gaze lingered the longest upon Lieutenant Strike. "Newly appointed Strategic Adviser."

"I'm sure you are… _Gregor_." Colonel Euledin said the name with distaste. "Well, what do you want."

It wasn't a question.

"I'm sure you know," said Gregor. Noel decided he didn't really like Gregor's voice very much – or any of him, really. The man was so stereotypically villainous, and if warning bells hadn't already been going off all over the place in his head, they would certainly have started ringing now. It would be any wonder at all if a peaceful agreement were the result of this meeting, though by the snark each man was dishing out Noel highly doubted it.

Gregor continued. "I have two requests. One, that the Director of Research of the Academy step down. The other, that the Academy be dissolved. These are my… _requests_." Noel wondered if the two requests were one in the same, if it were even possible to have one without the other: an Academy without a Director of Research, and vice versa. But Noel shrugged off the thought; there was likely something he was missing.

As expected, the Colonel declined both demands. "I don't see the rationale behind your requests, Gregor. I have no reason to believe any of the Academy's actions or its research to be the cause of our current situation. Until you give me evidence suggesting otherwise, I will not comply."

Gregor scowled. "So are you suggesting that, if I were to convince you of the wrongs of the Academy, you would indeed have the Director step down and the Academy dissolved?"

"Perhaps," replied the Colonel. Noel hoped he was only humoring Gregor. "But first let me ask you. Do you wish to buy a Chocobo?"

Noel, it seemed, was not the only one confused by the peculiarity of the sudden question.

"I… what?" Gregor stared blankly at the Colonel, confusion clearly etched upon his face. "Buy a Chocobo? I'm afraid I don't understand."

"Wrong answer," said the Colonel, the expression upon his face changing in almost an instant. "I'm afraid I must now ask you to leave, Gregor. The pleasure's been mine, but sadly, we don't take too kindly to terrorist groups."

"Terrorist groups?" asked Noel, turning to the Colonel in alarm. The accusation had been correct, it seemed, and the man Gregor cast aside his facade.

"I won't bother guessing how you knew so quickly," he said slowly, as he turned to the two men beside him in turn; "but you're correct. Know our name: The Ambassadors. When terror struck Pulse, its people panicked. Its government, unable to explain the situation that had presented itself, did not know how to direct its officers, its officials, and most certainly not the people it governed. So we, the Ambassadors, seized the moment, overthrew them in their weakest moment. And now we wish to do the same."

There was a moment's pause, and it was Colonel Euledin who was first to break the silence.

"Off the record," he said slowly, "the correct answer was, _Only if the Chocobo is a Chocolina_. It is one of three confidential questions in determining legitimacy, decided upon between two governments: those of us on Cocoon and those of us on Pulse. It's a detail you've managed to overlook, I'm afraid. So if you would, please leave. I'd rather not start a fight."

"Wait," said Noel, fully aware that he was speaking out of line. "You're telling me that five hundred years later you Anti-Academy terrorist groups are still around?"

"Terrorists will always exist," said the Lieutenant sadly as he narrowed his eyes at the man Gregor. "But. Even if he does leave, it doesn't change the fact that Pulse's government has been overrun. Might be better for everyone if we stamp him out here."

At these words a sinister grin grew upon Gregor's face. Again Noel found himself with another reason to dislike Gregor, but there was something about the way he was staring at Lieutenant Strike that made Noel uneasy. In light of the recent revelations, Noel wondered if they were still trying to maintain peaceful conditions; a quick look around told Noel that many of the soldiers were already reaching for their weapons, ready to act at any moment….

"I see," said Gregor. "Then there's no hope in reaching a compromise. I suppose I should show you what's at stake? – besides the lives of your citizens, that is." The man waved a hand, and after several moments several deckdrones descended from the airship. Noel instinctively reached for his swords, but before he could properly react he took notice of what the deckdrones were carrying.

_…a crystal statue_?

It confused Noel at first – weren't Fang and Vanille already accounted for? – but as the statue grew nearer, as he examined the statue more closely, Noel's eyes grew wide in shock as realization hit him.

"I'm not sure if he's any significance to you," said Gregor to the Colonel before turning to Noel. "But I believe _that one_ knows whose crystal this is. He was one of the six l'Cie who destroyed Orphan and Cocoon, was he not?"

There was no denying it now. Snow Villiers stood before them in crystal stasis.

_Damnit, why did you go and get yourself killed?_

"Snow, no!"

But these spoken words had not come from Noel. Yet Noel knew that voice. As everyone grew quiet, Noel began to search everywhere for that familiar shade of hair, that face he'd come to know so well….

There, toward the far corner, behind several crates, stood Hope, a hand clasped over his mouth. He tried to step back into hiding, but it'd been too late.

"Show yourself!" said the Colonel, who had been suspecting unfamiliar intruders or spies, but as he registered Hope and Dr. Haussen's unexpected presence he immediately regretted it.

"Ah," said Gregor, but his grin only grew wider upon acknowledging Dr. Haussen. "What… a surprise. The Director herself."

Noel heard the Colonel curse under his breath as he realized his mistake. Thereafter was a pause; Noel's eyes met Hope's from across the room, though from their distance he couldn't quite read the other man's expression. Noel himself was scared – why was Hope even here? – and he was fearful that something bad would happen at any moment.

And then many things did happen, all at once. Gregor's companions charged forward, a gleam of silver steel in their hands as they passed; the Lieutenant stepped before the Colonel, drawing his gunblade; a swarm of deckdrones exited the Pulsian airship and stormed through the air, with Hope and Dr. Haussen as their clear target; the Academy's troops launched themselves from the walls, some coming to the aid of the Colonel and others still to protect the two researchers; alarms were blaring, their clangor resounding throughout the whole area.

Pure havoc.

The alarms in Noel's own head were ringing. He was on a one-track mindset, and despite the chaotic noise about him there was only one thing he could think of:

_Keep Hope alive._

He started into a run, and he had every intention of coming to Hope's aid, but someone held him back.

"_Noel Kreiss_!" Lieutenant Strike was yelling at Noel and was restraining him by the wrist. Noel tried to shake off the man's hold, but the Lieutenant would not let go. "Don't make me think for even one second that you'd abandon your duties!"

"I have to protect Hope!" yelled Noel in desperation.

_Why won't he let go? – Hope's in danger, damn it!_

"No, _you_ have to protect the Colonel! For the love of all that's good, Noel, you're still on duty!" Noel panicked. He didn't want to leave Hope to fight for himself. Too many people he'd watched die in his arms, too many times he'd failed to protect someone. He could and would not let Hope die here. Why couldn't the Lieutenant understand that? Yet Noel couldn't deny his superior had a point. At that moment, he had another responsibility. He couldn't leave the Colonel, either – he was his bodyguard. If the leader of the Academy's military were to die here, who else but Noel would be blamed, the man who'd given up service to protect his own resolve? Again he would be letting so many people down; Noel knew that if he were to make that decision, even Hope would be disappointed in him.

No. Despite his newly found resolve in keeping Hope alive, despite every bone in his body that was telling him to run to Hope's aid, Noel knew he had to leave Hope.

So Noel stopped resisting. He glanced over his shoulder one last time – at Hope, at Dr. Haussen, at the soldiers who had circled about them and were firing their guns at the hostile deckdrones – before turning his back against Hope.

_Hope… stay alive._

Noel then drew his swords, and began to fight.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Posted: <strong>28 Feb 2012**  
>Last Edited: <strong>17 May 2012

_Upcoming: Hope gathers the pieces of the puzzle and has yet another dream._


	6. If You Change the Future…

_In the previous episode, Noel is finally able to face the situation that has unexpectedly unraveled before him. He sets his sights on a new goal, to protect Hope and Serah's ideals, but not before new complications arise: a terrorist group who call themselves the Ambassadors. He is faced not only with Snow's crystal statue but also the possibility of Hope being killed, but his duties as a military soldier, obligations he is ironically bound to because of Hope's word, prevent him from fulfilling the goals he has just set for himself. As Noel fights against the terrorist attacks he prays that Hope is not murdered as a result of his inability to fight by his side…._

* * *

><p><strong>Crystal Fortresses<br>**_Two men seeking to save the future, driven by the burdens of their past: Perhaps they had more in common than Hope once thought._

Episode 6: If You Change the Future…

* * *

><p>Hope could not move. He knew he needed to move, and if the need to defend himself and to escape had not been instinctual, the cries of soldiers should have been his biggest giveaway. Still, Hope could not move.<p>

The moment hell broke loose, the Academy's troops had sprung into action, assuming a circular formation with Hope and Ellen at its center. They were shouting orders left and right, with their guns pointed to the sky as they fired mercilessly at the incoming deckdrones. Several soldiers along the far side of the circle were urging the pair to take their leave, to leave the fighting to the soldiers, but Hope did not listen, for his thoughts were too occupied with taking the scene before him.

He could hear Ellen speaking to him, though he did not understand her words. As Hope's eyes were watching Noel fight, his mind was reliving the developments he had just witnessed: The man Gregor, his demands to dissolve the Academy, his affiliation with a terrorist group called the Ambassadors, that Pulse's government had been overrun…

And then Snow. Snow, in crystal stasis.

Hope was trembling. It was another friend lost, right after having just resolved to not take a backseat in protecting his friends, right after having resolved to not lose anybody else to the hands of fate. But he couldn't explain just _how_ Snow had turned to crystal. They had been freed from their fate as l'Cie, their Brands had all disappeared after the fall of Cocoon, Hope was sure of it. Yet somehow Snow had inexplicably fallen to this fate, and Hope could not understand –

"The both of you need to get the hell outta here!" The pleas of the soldiers were growing louder, enough to shake Hope from his thoughts. He turned to Ellen, who in turn gave him with a frank expression as she sighed.

"Better get going." Hope could not find any reason to disagree with her. As the soldiers shifted into a flanked formation, Hope withdrew his boomerang and gulped down his anguish, at least for the time being. From the corner of his eye he caught Ellen reaching into her purse, and from it she extracted a small, golden pistol; he did not have enough time to properly examine the weapon. Hope looked over his shoulder and stole a last glance at Noel fighting before he joined Ellen in making way toward an exit, with the Academy's military as their escort.

_Stay safe_, Hope said to himself, though the words were meant for a certain other. He could not bear to lose someone else, and he especially could not stand losing Noel by his side. Noel was one of the few he had left.

Their flight from the scene had been a difficult affair, with the deckdrones' pursuit relentless and their pace a slow one. Initially Hope had panicked, fearful that the soldiers would run out of ammunition and that they would be forced to rely on close-range combat, putting them at a higher risk of getting hurt as a result. He had even helped for a little while, going against the wishes of their escort, though they later thanked him when his boomerang had caused several of the deckdrones to short-circuit. As they neared the exit, more soldiers came bursting through the doors, soldiers that had likely been waiting on standby at another location, and with their help Hope and Ellen's escape was secured.

The hallways were equally as chaotic as the docking area had been. Troops were racing down the halls, lieutenants were shouting orders and requests for supplies and ammunition, and deckdrones were fighting tirelessly to follow the two researchers away from the main area. Throughout the chaos, Hope could not hear anything save for the occasional words coming from Ellen's mouth.

"We… come up… plan," Hope heard her say. That one was not so difficult to comprehend. But in their current situation, Hope could not even hear himself think, let alone come think about what to do or where to go. His thoughts kept returning to Snow's crystallized form and to Noel being forced to abandon Hope's side to protect the Colonel. He acknowledged the pieces, but he could not attempt to piece them together.

They were being led toward some sort of conference room, or so Hope had been told, but one of the lieutenants took notice of them before they could reach their destination and stopped them in the middle of the hallway.

"Dr. Haussen?" the lieutenant asked in surprise. "What are you doing here?" He then turned to Hope and offered him the same question with equal surprise in his voice. How _exactly _was Hope supposed to respond to that? From sneaking out of the underground to riding in the open air on a velocycle, Hope had a suspicion he would not like their story very much….

Thankfully, Hope was saved from giving an explanation. One of the soldiers in his escort hastily explained to the uninformed lieutenant that Hope and Ellen were being pursued and needed to make their escape.

"Is that so?" asked the lieutenant. The answer the soldier gave thereafter was inaudible from the chaos surrounding them; seeking a quieter place to have their discussion, the group resumed to make their way toward the conference room. They found it empty upon arrival, and upon closing the door they were met with a muffled and much-needed silence. But before Hope and his ears could rejoice in the absence of blaring noise, the lieutenant continued. "If you're thinking of making an escape, you better do it soon. An order was just given to block off all entry into and out of Port Dexum."

"B-But sir!" said one of the soldiers, and Hope frowned. Were they trying to contain and eliminate the terrorist threat within the base? What if the terrorist group bested the military?

_No, I can't think like that, _Hope said to himself, and he quickly willed away the thought.

"The order comes directly from the Colonel," said the lieutenant to whom they were currently speaking. "I suppose the intention was for the both of you to hide in a secure place, but if you're really thinking of leaving…." The unnamed man hummed to himself as he scratched his chin, as if thinking of what to do next.

"They want the Director killed," said another soldier. Hope flinched at these words. "If the military fails in – "

"_Don't say it_," Hope hissed. He quickly flushed a slight pink when all eyes turned on him.

"…they need to escape," said a third soldier, after an awkward moment had passed. "Is it too late?"

The lieutenant pursed his lips before turning his gaze on Hope. There was something in the man's eyes that Hope could not catch, and it made him uneasy. It was as if the man was reading him, as if he was trying to figure out Hope's intentions and if it was truly safe to entrust the Director with Hope.

Just when Hope felt that he could no longer bear the eye contact, the lieutenant turned away, and he pressed the microphone of his comm device against his cheek as he spoke into it. "Requesting an additional three hundred seconds before initiating Operation Quarantine. Important persons E.H. and H.E. are attempting to make their escape via emergency shuttle. Permission granted?"

A pause fell between the occupants of the room. A few seconds later, Hope made the silent realization that his initials and Ellen's initials were inversions of each other.

And then, to everyone's relief, a voice spoke in reply, a voice Hope knew belonged to the Colonel himself:

"Permission granted." At these words, the lieutenant immediately stripped himself of the comm device, handing it to Hope.

"Take this – and don't worry, the line's encrypted. You have five minutes to fly out of Port Dexum, and you gotta let them know if you escape sooner. The shuttle's only got room for two, so once you leave, you're on your own. Are we clear?"

Hope nodded quickly. "Yes! … Yes, sir."

The lieutenant seemed satisfied with this response. "Godspeed, you both." He then turned to the other soldiers. "Men! See them to the emergency shuttle."

"Y-Yes sir!" The five minutes that followed sped before Hope's eyes, almost as if they had all happened at once. Accompanied by the soldiers, Hope and Ellen fled toward the emergency shuttle. True to the lieutenant's word, there had only been enough room for two of them, which resulted in a hurried departure from their escort to whom they owed their lives.

"Thank you so much for everything," Ellen was saying to the soldiers as she climbed in after Hope. After a few more moments, the pair were into the air. With Ellen flying the shuttle, Hope silently looked out the window, watching somberly as they left Port Dexum behind.

"Hope," said Ellen slowly, and his head snapped at once to regard the woman. "The comm device."

"Oh. Right…." He picked up the device and placed it on his ear, and he tapped the microphone a few times as a test before speaking into it. "This is Ho – H.E.," he said, catching himself at the last second. The lieutenant had said the line was encrypted, yet the lieutenant himself had used code names…. "We're out."

"Hope, is that you?"

Hope knew that voice.

"Sazh, that you?" It had been a good number of days since he last heard from Sazh. As far as he knew, Sazh had not come home to visit his son; Hope was under the impression the man had been kept busy.

"Yeah. Fleet's been ordered to keep the area secure. No landing or takeoff after the shuttle leaves, those were the orders. But hey listen, word's been on the radio about a giant crystallized statue. Do you think – ?"

"Yeah, i-it's…" interrupted Hope. Giant statue indeed. The man who had saved his life one hundred years ago and another time many years before that. The man who had always said that heroes could never die. The stupidest, most idiotic, most stubborn, yet most reliable and strong-willed man he knew.

"I-It's… it's Snow." His feelings were returning to him, and even in his seated position Hope felt himself beginning to shake.

One by one, his friends were leaving him – _dying_, even. There hadn't been the time or the energy to spare at the dock; now that they were safe, now that he had space to think, the gravity of what he had just witnessed was beginning to sink in.

Snow was gone.

Many years ago, Hope would never have dreamed of wasting tears on such a foolish idiot. But now, he allowed them to fall.

* * *

><p>There was nothing left in the aftermath: nothing but smoke, discombobulated machinery and unresponsive bodies.<p>

Noel carefully observed his surroundings, sheathing his swords as he silently regained control over his breathing. Beside him was the Colonel, and on the man's far side stood Lieutenant Strike; Colonel Euledin had managed to remain safe, thanks to Noel's and the Lieutenant's efforts. The Colonel had managed a couple of facial scars from the fight, but his face reflected no pain.

"Search the bodies," said the Colonel, and at once the surviving soldiers stepped forward to examine the bodies of the fallen. Noel too took a step forward, but he stopped in his hesitation and turned to his Lieutenant. Was he still bound to stay by the Colonel's side? The fight was over, but there was no telling what could happen. They needed to remain vigilant.

A part of Noel desperately wanted to look for Hope: the man he wanted to protect, the man he had been forced to abandon in the name of duty. Searching bodies was no guarantee of Hope's safety; it could only confirm or dispel an outcome he prayed had not come to pass. But it was something.

Noel's eyes met the Lieutenant's, and there was a split second of understanding between the two men. After a moment, Lieutenant Strike nodded stiffly and gave the brunet his sign of approval, and Noel immediately darted toward the last place he had seen Hope.

When Noel arrived at the crates where he had first heard Hope's voice call out, his eyes were met with nothing but the remains of the deckdrones who had pursued them. Noel wasn't even sure if he could be comforted by this fact. At the minimum, he could only be assured that the initial deckdrones who pursued them had been properly seen to. But what if there had been more? – to where would Hope have retreated?

Mind overthrown in panic, Noel frantically began searching through the debris. Hope couldn't be dead. He couldn't! There was no way Noel would allow it, not after Yeul – two Yeuls, even – and not after Serah. Noel's best-case-scenario style of thinking was reassured as he continued to uncover more and more unrecognizable bodies, bodies who clearly weren't Hope, yet at the same time it only made him more fearful for the possibility of finding Hope under the next sheet of metal tossed aside. If Hope had been killed on his account… No. Noel couldn't even finish the thought.

Noel was teeming with frustration, and it did not take long before the lack of finding Hope was doing more bad for Noel's peace of mind than it was good. He couldn't tell if the dead soldiers whose bodies he was uncovering were the ones Noel had seen protecting Hope, nor could he find any signs of the Director. Amidst Noel's concern for Hope's well-being, it didn't even occur to him that locating Dr. Haussen should've been his highest priority.

Before Noel's fruitlessness could take hold over him, one of the soldiers called out, immediately catching Noel's attention.

"Sir, I think I found something!" Desperate for any news, Noel stood up and hurried over to investigate the cause of the outburst. As he drew near, he caught a glimpse of yellow; the fact that the Academy's soldiers all wore yellow uniforms slipped his mind. His mind was jumping to conclusions, and while normally he would've restrained himself, his current state coupled with the mental image of an unconscious Hope sprawled on the ground set him off the edge.

"No!" he cried as he rushed forward, but before he could move any closer someone had cut him off. Noel glanced quickly, only vaguely acknowledging Lieutenant Strike shaking his head and his outstretched arm, before turning back to the scene.

It wasn't Hope.

A wave of relief swept over him, but worry soon took over. Where was Hope, then? Did no one know? Had no one found him – had no one seen him, at the very least? But if no one had found Hope, had he… had he retreated to somewhere else? But then, where?

Noel was paying little attention to what the other soldiers around him were saying, not even realizing that their concern was not for the Academy soldier but for the man next to him. Noel was already making plans in his head to leave the docking area, to search out the rest of Port Dexum for Hope's whereabouts….

A hand was being waved in front of his face.

"You alright?" Noel turned; the Lieutenant was watching him carefully, a concerned expression upon his face.

"Yeah… Sorry, what?"

The Lieutenant shook his head. "I was asking you to identify someone for me." He then stepped aside so that Noel could take a look. Next to the man he had mistaken for Hope was another man, and judging by his attire, Noel could only assume that he'd been one of the Ambassadors. Lieutenant Strike continued to speak as Noel regarded the dead man, as if presuming he had given Noel enough time.

"You think he was one of Gregor's escorts?"

"Not sure." It wasn't an honest answer, though. Noel couldn't say he cared enough for Gregor's men, not when they couldn't even account for their own men. Gregor himself, perhaps they would have a deal. But nothing short.

"I think it's him," said Colonel Euledin. Then, in a slightly louder voice, the Colonel addressed the other soldiers. "Any signs of Gregor?"

"No, sir," was the general reply. It seemed the Colonel did not like this response much.

"Even after closing off all entry and exit," he said quietly. "Still managed to escape."

Noel, however, was anything but quiet. "Wait, but what about Hope? – and the Director? Were there any signs of them? Did they go into hiding?"

"The Director and your friend escaped using the emergency shuttle," said the Colonel, and Noel let out a breath he did not know he'd been holding in. Noel then turned to the Lieutenant; by the expression on his face, it appeared even he had not known this. "They were the last airship out before the Port was closed off. Probably the reason Gregor got away, too."

"They left? Where to?" Noel supposed it was good news that Hope hadn't been killed with his body somewhere in the remains. But what if they had been pursued? – sure, the Colonel said they were the last airship out. But if Gregor was nowhere to be found….

"Beats me."

Noel turned back to the Colonel, his eyes flashing. A line had been crossed. "_'Beats me'_? You just said they might be the reason Gregor got away, and _'Beats me_' is all you got? What if Gregor followed them out? Who's gonna protect Hope? And the Director? – did you even send _anyone_ to protect them?"

"Even if we did know where they are," said the Lieutenant, "you're not a high enough rank to have the privilege of knowing." Noel turned on the Lieutenant; though the Lieutenant's tone of voice was not as empty with emotion, his face was stern from Noel's disrespect.

The Lieutenant sighed, shaking his head before turning to the Colonel. "Excuse him, please."

"Excused," said the Colonel, and he gave them both a slightly amused expression before turning to leave. "Gather our men, clean up, and prepare for departure. It's been a long night."

Noel watched as the Colonel made his way out of the landing area. He was subconsciously clenching his fists – did no one care? Sure, Hope and Dr. Haussen had successfully left the port. But what if Gregor really had followed them? Not that Noel doubted Hope's ability to defend himself, but who could protect them from a man who wanted them dead?

"Cool off," said Lieutenant Strike sharply, disturbing Noel from his thoughts. "You were being disrespectful and stepped entirely out of line. Don't forget whom you serve."

Noel turned to face the Lieutenant and gave an exasperated sigh . "I know he doesn't care much about Hope, but what about the Director? Is _she _safe?"

"I thought I just told you to cool off." Lieutenant Strike rolled his eyes, which only further aggravated Noel; the next words given by the Lieutenant were softer, though Noel's mood was not appeased. "We're on it, don't worry. The Director was given a comm device before leaving port. We received word from your friend Sazh that they successfully landed the shuttle. They're laying low and resting up for a bit before heading back to headquarters."

Noel had nothing to say to that. The Lieutenant _still _didn't get it! Well, he supposed Hope's safe landing was good news. But no one knew where Gregor was. He couldn't imagine the shuttle being very discreet. Hope could easily be assassinated in his sleep! – though, Noel did acknowledge that Lieutenant Strike had shared this information with him in the Colonel's absence, despite having told him that he was not privileged to have that information.

"Why did you join the army?"

Noel frowned at the sudden question. What kind of question was that? – and why now? But when Noel attempted to come up with a reason, he could only think of one answer.

"Hope told me to." Noel had never been a very good liar. In retrospect, it might have been a better idea to not say anything at all…. "Why did you let me come?"

"Because you were determined to come either way," said the Lieutenant. "And because your eyes told me you have something worth fighting for."

"Exactly." Noel remembered the resolution he'd made only hours ago: to help Hope where he could, to protect Hope and his ideals and dreams, because it was through him that Serah's legacy – and Lightning's, and Snow's, and that of anyone else who was giving up their life for a better future – would live on, because Hope had stood back up, because he needed to too.

There was a pause.

"That something's Director Estheim, am I right?"

"Yeah." How Lieutenant Strike had known his resolve, Noel wasn't quite sure, though he supposed he did talk about him a lot. "Hope's all I got left… sir." The idea of having to fight under someone was a strange concept for Noel still, and having to serve an uncaring man like the Colonel especially did not settle with him very nicely. Then again, he supposed hunting and military were two different veins in themselves.

"You've got Sazh, haven't you?"

_Oh, right. Sazh. But I only just met him… _

"He's a fully grown man," Noel chose to say, instead of his own thoughts. "He can take care of himself."

"So's Director Estheim," countered the Lieutenant. "Older than you, isn't he?"

Noel chose not to respond to that. He wondered, did the Director ask Hope such inane questions when they were together? As his mind slipped back into thoughts of Hope, Noel began to hope they really were alright. If Noel didn't see Hope at headquarters tomorrow….

Noel's sourness was soothed at the thought of reuniting with Hope. Even if they had only been apart for a few hours….

"You seem to have cooled off a bit," said the Lieutenant once more, "No worries, I won't tell Director Estheim your secret. Let's wrap things up? It's been a long night."

"Sure…?" With that, Noel followed after the Lieutenant, utterly puzzled as to what the Lieutenant was going on about.

* * *

><p>Ellen landed their shuttle after about half an hour's flight. They weren't anywhere in particular; it had been Ellen's suggestion to land the shuttle far away from anywhere important, just in case they had been followed out of Port Dexum by some of the Ambassadors. They would be making the rest of their way by foot in the morning, but given their current exhaustion and the current time, catching up on sleep was to be their first task.<p>

"It's not much," said Ellen grimly, nodding her head toward the shuttle. "It'll have to do. You think you can manage to get some sleep in the meantime? We can think about what to do next tomorrow morning."

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

_If I can get any sleep at all, _Hope thought to mind was still frenzied from everything that had just happened. There was still much he wanted to know. He wanted to know what had happened to Snow, he wanted to know if Noel had made it – Noel! Hope only hoped Noel was okay. And what about Sazh? Hopefully nothing bad had happened to the skyfleet….

Oblivious to Hope's internal conflicts, the researcher reached into her purse – and just _how_ many things did that woman keep in her purse, anyway? – and pulled out what appeared to be a large cloth. Hope wasn't sure what it was _supposed _to be for – it was larger than a handkerchief, but too small to be a tablecloth – but it appeared to be usable as a makeshift blanket.

"Take it," Ellen assured him, offering him a smile. "I'll be fine like this, leaning against the shuttle. Don't mind me! Besides, I _love_ sleeping against cold steel walls." Hope eyed her suspiciously, inclined to not believe the woman's words at first, but he took the cloth graciously anyway. He spread it against the ground before laying on it, closing his eyes as he attempted sleep. Thoughts of Snow and Noel probed at him, as if cautioning him from falling asleep, but given the time of night and his own physical exhaustion, sleep soon took hold over Hope.

This time it did not take quite as long for Hope to realize he'd landed himself in yet another dream. Strangely enough, being in the Hanging Edge once more wasn't what had tipped him off. Hope didn't even question when some woman had asked him to stand up and to move in a direction opposite from his mother. That his mother was still alive hadn't even fazed him. No, he only realized when Vanille had joined his side, dressed in the same outfit as the one she'd been wearing that day on the Purge Train.

"I'm dreaming, aren't I?" Hope whispered, loud enough so that only the Pulsian girl could hear him.

"You could say that," said Vanille in her usual cheery manner. "You sure caught on quick this time."

"You haven't decrystallized yet. You wouldn't be standing here if I weren't dreaming." Then, after chuckling nervously, he added, "Then again, neither would I. This is the Hanging Edge, isn't it."

Vanille hummed to herself, looking around. "You tell me, Hope. This is your dream, after all."

"So this isn't real," said Hope. "I'm not really at the Hanging Edge, you aren't really here next to me, and my mother…." Hope trailed off and turned around, gazing distantly at the Bodhum Vestige. Why he had returned here, Hope only wished he knew. It had been a while since the last time his mother's death had haunted him in his sleep; when Hope let his guard down, the memory of watching his mother fall into the abyss would return to him. Her death was something he'd accepted, yet it was also something he wish he could've prevented.

Hope frowned. What sort of dream was this, anyway? He felt self-conscious, almost, as if he was more than just having a dream, but rather __living __a dream. If it really was a dream, wasn't his imagination pulling the strings? – everything he saw, everything Vanille was saying to him, were they not but figments of his imagination?

To ask someone who only existed in his dream would be pointless, yet he asked Vanille the next thing that came to mind anyway.

"Why am I here?"

"Why are you here?" echoed Vanille. "Hmm, let's see. I don't know for sure, but I think I've got a pretty good guess. You're seeking answers to something, aren't you? Subconsciously your mind is trying to help you by revisiting fragments of your past, to help catch things you might have overlooked. But your mind is also subject to your desires, so it also shows you things you long for. Your mother alive, for example."

"You call that a guess…" muttered Hope. If Vanille had spoken any shred of truth, why had his mind taken him back to the Hanging Edge? – no, Hope was certain this was merely another haunting involving his mother's death. Yet, not once had Vanille spoken to him before, let alone had she ever appeared. It was always about his mother. But Vanille had appeared to him in other dreams, especially as of late….

Vanille continued. "But like I said, it's only a guess. It's been a while since I've had an actual dream."

"You mean, because you're crystal?" asked Hope, and Vanille nodded.

"It feels like a dream, yes. But we aren't really dreaming. We're fairly conscious, you know. Fang and I know everything you've done, everything Snow and Lightning have done. Serah and Noel, too."

_Snow…. _Hope wondered if this Vanille knew about what had happened to Snow.

"So you've met Noel," Hope said quietly. Noel, who had stepped out of the timeline to save humanity, who had gone back in time….

A sudden explosion interrupted their conversation, but Hope did not turn to find out the cause. He already knew. Any second, his mother would fall yet again into the abyss. Yet again, he would be unable to save her.

It was this occurrence, coupled with his previous thoughts of Noel, that spurred Hope to voice his next thought.

"I wonder what it would be like," Hope mused, "to be able to go back in time."

"To save _her_?" Neither needed clarification to whom 'her' referred. "Man's biggest evil is to chase after what is not meant to be theirs. The fal'Cie, to return the world to its former glory. Caius, to free Yeul from her fate. Hope, you're doing the right thing. Don't look back now."

At last, Hope understood.

"That's it! You're not a part of this dream, are you? You're here because you want to talk to me."

For the first time, at least in his dream, Vanille appeared flustered. "That's not entirely true, you know! I'm only here because you want me here. I wouldn't be able to talk to you, otherwise. So, I am a part of your dream, yes, but only because you let me."

"So everything you said about my mind subconsciously trying to help me – "

"I told you it was a guess, Hope. Though, you asked me why _you _were here, not why _I _was here."

"You've talked to me before," said Hope slowly. It was if a thousand revelations were occurring to him all at once. "You've talked to me before, and I just hadn't noticed. I _knew _it wasn't just in my head."

"You don't understand, we weren't supposed to interfere!"

"But you did anyway."

"But things have changed…." Hope's breath caught at these words – _Things have changed? In what way? _– but he did not speak, allowing the redheaded girl to continue what she had to say. "Well. First, before I forget, I want to thank you for everything you've done: For us, for our crystals, for Cocoon, for everyone."

"I couldn't stop Cocoon from falling – "

"You saved its people, Hope." Not wanting to spend her time arguing, Vanille moved on. "Listen, Hope. I want to tell you about Snow."

"I-I know…" said Hope quietly. "He's crystal."

Hope sighed. One by one, they were all leaving him. It was his past repeating itself, when everyone had left him behind, while he'd been forced to live his life without them. Except this time… they really were gone. Serah, Light, Snow….

"Now that he's crystal… can you talk to him?"

"I'm afraid not," said Vanille somberly. "Being in crystal stasis is a very lonely place to be, Hope. For me, it wasn't so bad the second time around, because Fang and I had each other. But our statues got separated when we were rescued from the pillar. After that… I didn't even have Fang."

"I'm sor– wait, _what_?" And now that Hope thought on it, the statues of Vanille and Fang _had _been separate at the Academy. He _distinctly _remembered Fang's being analyzed separately from Vanille's. And as Hope continued to think about his many visits with Vanille and Fang at the pillar, he was sure they had been crystallized together.

Why hadn't he noticed it earlier? And didn't the Academy say that Fang's crystal had remained intact? How could both statues be intact if they'd split apart?

"If you're thinking of Fang," began Vanille, "I'm sure she's just fine. Though, she might not have fingers when she returns to her body – I'm just _joking_, Hope!" Vanille added, noting the alarmed expression upon Hope's face. "Besides, a couple of fingers over her life, she won't be mad at you. She may look like a tough woman, but you know she cares."

"Yeah she cares, about _you_," teased Hope, and Vanille found herself flustered yet again. Hope missed this. He had not properly talked to Vanille for _years._ Ten years, was it? _– hundreds_ of years, for Vanille. In some sense, even if he had aged, his relationship with Vanille hadn't changed much at all, and that was the way Hope wanted their relationship. She had always been the one to tell Hope that everything would be okay – it was in this very place where Vanille had first comforted Hope without so much as a hesitation. Even if Hope had not cared for her attempts at first, in the end, it was she who could make anything better, her smile that would make him smile.

But… even now?

"_Hope_!" she shrieked. "I can't _believe _you! Why would you – " But the anger suddenly dropped out of her voice, her words coming to a stop. "…but no, really. I want to tell you about Snow. You know he turned into a l'Cie, yeah?"

"Yep. Saw the brand on his arm when he was saving me from being assassinated." Interestingly enough, Hope hadn't actually acknowledged this memory out loud yet. But in this dream, it was as if his brain had answered for him, because the memory was still dormant in his subconsciousness. In his dream it made sense; as Snow had ushered Hope to the time capsule, as Snow had handed him the only physical key, Hope remembered catching a glimpse of a l'Cie brand. He had thought nothing of it at the time, having been so used to seeing Snow with the brand….

"Do you know why?"

This, Hope did not know.

"No. But he's one mighty idiot if he went around asking for one."

"_Why, _Hope, not how. Though, funny you should mention that…."

Hope could only stare blankly at the physically younger redhead. "Snow went around asking for one? You aren't serious?"

Vanille nodded timidly. "Listen, Hope. I'm only telling you this because I think it could save the world. Promise me, Hope. Promise me you'll save everyone."

It was a big promise to make, but to a person like Vanille, Hope couldn't possibly let her down.

"Promise."

Vanille's smile was faint as she continued. "Lightning came to Snow in a dream. As Snow understood it, she had asked him to prevent the fall of Cocoon. But Snow knew he couldn't do it, not without more strength, strength he once bore as a Pulse l'Cie. Though as Pulse l'Cie we busied ourselves with Cocoon's affairs, and though you had all been branded on Cocoon, Snow realized that the branding had been the doings of a Pulse fal'Cie. When Cocoon fell, the fal'Cie of Cocoon had ceased to exist – but the Pulse fal'Cie continued to live on. So, as you say, Snow began going around Pulse, pleading the fal'Cie to turn him into a l'Cie once more.

"At first, the fal'Cie ignored his request. They were tasked with more important matters, and the affairs of humans did not interest them. But Snow was desperate. He needed power to protect Cocoon and the people he loved. I can't speak on their behalf, and I'm surprised Snow's stubbornness paid off. I think, for their own personal interests, the fal'Cie granted Snow his request, and once more he was branded a Pulse l'Cie. When he turned to crystal… I don't know."

"His Focus?" asked Hope, though his mind was still taking in the story Vanille had just told him. "Do you know his Focus? Whatever it was, he must've completed it, right?"

Vanille shook her head. "I'm so sorry, Hope, I don't. And I wish I could say you're right, but… a thousand years ago, Fang and I were turned to crystal, even if we had not completed our Focus. The Goddess had intervened."

_And now, there was no more Goddess…._

Hope sighed. As idiotic as Snow was, Hope found himself respecting the man more, now that he had been told the story behind Snow's actions – though he had always respected Snow, in his own little way. And though his mind was a little more at ease, nothing was solved. Snow was still crystal. Vanille and Fang were both still crystal. How did Vanille think this could help him save the world?

Hope tried to recall what he knew. Snow had gone around to the fal'Cie, asking them to brand him as a Pulse l'Cie. Many years ago, they had all been branded by the fal'Cie, though they hadn't gone around asking for a brand – no, that wasn't even it. The thing that branded them had not been the same fal'Cie they had fought in the Bodhum Vestige, Anima hadn't been the one to brand them….

But then… who had it been?

No, he was thinking about this the wrong way, Hope wasn't _asking _to be a l'Cie again.

When Fang and Vanille had first been crystallized, who had saved them from their fate? – it had been Barthandelus… right? Hadn't it been that fal'Cie's scheme, so that everything could fall into place for Cocoon's destruction? It couldn't have been the Goddess, not back then. The Goddess only took pity on them after they had overcome an impossibility, when they had challenged their –

Hope snapped his fingers. He knew his answer.

"I never thought I'd say this," said Hope slowly, as he tried to contain his eagerness, "but I think Snow's got the right idea."

"What do you mean?" asked Vanille. As her mind began to jump to its own conclusions, Vanille's eyes grew wide with fear. "Hope, no! You can't! You promised you'd save the world, you promised! You can't… you can't go back…."

"It's okay," Hope said quietly. "I'm not after becoming a l'Cie again." Vanille's eyes darted back up, and Hope could not stop himself from noting the sad expression still upon her face. Silently Hope wondered to himself, since Vanille was still crystal, even if this was his dream, could Vanille cry?

"Then… what?"

"Listen, the deities of Gran Pulse were nothing more than fal'Cie, right? Pulse, Etro, Lindzei – the people saw them as gods and goddesses, but they were nothing more than a special kind of fal'Cie made by the god Bhunivelze himself." Vanille did not show signs of comprehension, though Hope wasn't sure if her confusion stemmed from the information itself or from the destination Hope was headed toward. Hope was sure he'd read it in a book before, in the days he'd spent in the library. Nevertheless, Hope continued. "The fal'Cie have the ability to make humans into their l'Cie, but do they not also have the ability to turn them into Cieth, to make them crystal – and turn them _out _of Crystal?

"I'm going to find them, Vanille. Find the Pulse fal'Cie, plead them to decrystallize you, Fang, and Snow. I know this is just conjecture, but… it's the only plan I have right now. And it has to work." He stopped there and turned to Vanille. Though she offered him a meek smile, the expression in her eyes was despondent, if only pitiful.

"If I could hug you, Hope. I would." Hope narrowed his eyes in confusion, and as if having read his mind Vanille added, "I guess I could, but you wouldn't be able to feel it. This is only a dream, remember?"

"Yeah…" Hope heaved a sigh. "When you were freed the first time from crystal stasis, you still had your brand, right?"

Vanille nodded quietly, glancing to her feet. Hope figured that, to this day, Vanille still felt regret for the actions of her past.

Hope continued. "It was only when the Goddess took pity on us that we were freed from our fate as l'Cie. So… even if it is just a conjecture, there's no way of knowing if ordinary fal'Cie can free you from your fate. Unless… unless I can find Pulse. Or Lindzei. But I'll start by finding the Pulse fal'Cie." It was then that Hope realized he'd been rambling. He turned to Vanille again, seeking her approval, but when he took notice of her, she was plagued by a troubled expression.

"Vanille…?"

"You can't!" the redhead exclaimed. "It's too risky! I… I want you to save everyone, but… you could get hurt! And Pulse and Lindzei, they aren't _anything _like Etro, Hope! Legends say they left our world a long time ago. And don't forget, that Etro intervened and gave us her pity at all is the very reason we're now in this situation."

"Maybe," said Hope, "but if things hadn't turned out the way they had, we all would've been crystal, and you'd have fallen with the pillar. Besides… Light told me once, a very long time ago. It's not a matter of can or can't. There are some things in life you just do."

_Light…_

Vanille was at a loss for words. She seemed conflicted, as if torn between supporting Hope and advising him against pursuing his theories. But as of now, it was the only thing Hope was sure of. Between terrorist conflicts and the world at the brink of destruction, saving his friends in this way was the only plan Hope had… and it was the one thing he had always wanted.

When Vanille spoke again, the corners of her lips tugged at a smile. "I think I may have rubbed off on you Hope, just a bit," she said softly. "That's the spirit."

"Just another life lesson, brought to you by Light and the lovely Vanille." Hope gave her his biggest smile before nodding seriously at her. "Wait for me, okay? I'll definitely get you out of there. And when I do, I… I'll give you a hug."

Hope wasn't sure where that last part had come from, except that Vanille had mentioned it moments before.

"It's been a while since you've felt a hug, hasn't it?"

"Y-Yeah…." Vanille turned a slight pink. "You know, you aren't the fourteen-year-old boy I once knew, Hope. But, I accept." She then raised her pinkie finger, holding it before Hope. In a singsong voice she added, "Pinkie means you mean it, right?"

Hope stared at the finger as he slowly raised his own hand. He now had a plan, and this would be the closest he'd ever been to his dreams of saving his friends. He would not let Vanille down. But not just Vanille – Hope would not let himself down, either.

"Right. I'll save everyone, Vanille. Just watch."

"You better!" said Vanille. "You promised!" And with that, Hope moved his hand to meet Vanille's. He had already made the promise verbally, and part of him had not wanted to; even if his mind was set on only one allowable outcome, he was still scared to disappoint his friend. As a result, shaking her pinkie finger would mean nothing, as he had already made the promise once. To give Vanille peace of mind, however, Hope knew he needed to make the promise again, even though in the back of his mind he already knew what would happen – and he didn't want it to happen, not yet.

Vanille's last words had been in his head. Her lips did not move.

_'Try your hardest, Hope. Don't give up.'_

True to his suspicions, the moment their fingers should have met, the dream had ended.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Posted: <strong>24 Apr 2012**  
>Last Edited: <strong>28 Jan 2013

_I'd like to point out that I have my own explanations regarding Snow's l'Cie brand and how he'd gotten it again. But more importantly, the explanation I'm using in this story is actually not the explanation I most believe to be correct. My own interpretation doesn't quite agree with this story, so I'm choosing to explain the brand by a means that will make sense logically in this story's canon. _

_Upcoming: Noel learns a century's worth of history._


	7. …You Change the Past

_In the previous episode, Hope is reunited with Vanille within a dream. He learns of Snow's story, but more importantly, his eyes are opened to a new purpose, and having previously struggled with a clear course of action, Hope takes on this new goal without restraint. He promises Vanille he will save her soon, even if the idea of chasing after a deity sounds ludicrous if not impossible. But all good things must come to an end…._

* * *

><p><strong>Crystal Fortresses<br>**_Two men seeking to save the future, driven by the burdens of their past: Perhaps they had more in common than Hope once thought._

Episode 7: …You Change the Past.

* * *

><p>Noel tried to get some sleep that night, but no sleep came. Hope's absence was getting to him, even though he was resting with his back turned against the empty mat next to him.<p>

Noel was used to sleeping when Hope wasn't around. The silver-haired man always spent his day locked up in the library, coming back only when he'd been kicked out. Noel always woke up when Hope got back, a habit he couldn't really explain. He tried to convince himself that this was merely another one of those times, that if he went to bed now then Hope would duck into the tent not long afterward. But Noel knew better. Hope was somewhere out there, unprotected, and that thought alone was enough reason for Noel to remain vigilant, even if his body was pleading for Noel to get some rest.

Now that Noel had left behind his living-in-the-moment mentality, and now that Noel was assured of Hope's supposed safety, Noel started to think on things more clearly. Some questions he knew the answer to — for example, Noel knew how Snow had been turned to crystal, because he had seen Snow's brand when he and Serah had run into him in the Sunleth Waterscape — but other questions Noel had no answers to. _Why_ had Snow turned to crystal? How had Snow landed in enemy hands? Why had Hope been there in the first place? —

Hope! What was that man thinking? Was he trying to give Noel a heart attack? Noel didn't even want to think about _how _Hope had gotten there, let alone why — well, okay, Noel did want to know, and it didn't take a genius to figure out that hope had arrived with Dr. Haussen. But then, why? Noel had made it a point not to tell Hope — and ironically, if things had gone according to plan, it would've been Hope here in his place, Hope waiting anxiously for Noel's unknown return. But the silver-haired man had found out anyway; Noel quickly figured that Dr. Haussen must've informed Hope about the secret operation, though it said nothing about why Hope had been at Port Dexum.

Noel was glad that Hope had at least made it out safe, though his safety with the Director was not yet secured. Noel only hoped Hope would make it out all right. The thought of Hope being unprotected and in danger terrified him, and it was enough of a reason to keep him from falling asleep. Only hours ago he had felt himself being driven toward the brink of desperation, the longer his search had continued to remain unfruitful. Noel didn't want to think about the emotions he would've felt if, after having just resolved to protect Hope, he'd tossed aside a sheet of metal to find the lifeless form of —

No. It would be Yeul all over again. Serah all over again. There was too much grief over the loss of an important person, a person lost in consequence to a lack of strength, a lack of _his _strength. So no more. No more would anyone — especially Hope — die while under his protection. He refused to allow Hope to die in his arms.

Yet in the name of duty, he had been forced to abandon Hope's side.

The solution was simple: Noel would have to quit, even if he'd joined because Hope had given the suggestion, even if he still had things and people worth fighting for. But he couldn't make ends meet, not through the Academy's militia. No, Noel would need to find his own way — but not before Noel figured out what the Ambassadors were really up to, not until he knew what Hope really wanted, not until he figured out more about the crystallized statue of Snow now in enemy hands.

If sleep were the first step, then it would be a while before Noel would step forward in a new direction.

* * *

><p>Ellen was already awake when Hope got up the following morning. Golden pistols at the ready, she was resting against the side of the shuttle, as if she had spent the night keeping watch instead of having slept.<p>

"Ah, you're awake," she said, motioning with a hand for Hope to stand. Though he was still tired, Hope complied with her requests.

What was with the guns? Had they been followed after all? Were they under attack? Hope moved his hand to his boomerang and prepared to take it out, but Ellen shook her head before he could complete the action.

"I called for an airship about an hour ago. I gave coordinates a little ways south of here. Let's leave the ship and lay low for a while." Hope acknowledged her silently, meeting her eye; her statement didn't at all explain the questions he had in his head, but it was a start. After a silent agreement Hope cautiously moved away from the ship, eyes alert and searching for signs of disturbance, with Ellen moving closely behind him.

They moved in this manner for about a quarter of an hour, until the both of them were sure that they were alone and that no one had picked up on their trail. After slipping one of the pistols back into her purse, Ellen turned to Hope and said, "So, sleep well? — aw, shoot, we forgot to take the cloth with us."

Hope rolled his eyes. She really was as scatterbrained as he'd thought. How could the woman be so relaxed at a time like this? There was so much they needed to —

In that moment Hope was reminded of his dream from the night before. No, it was far beyond a dream, it was a meeting with Vanille. It was then that the magnitude of the encounter hit him. He had seen Vanille, he had _talked _to Vanille! Sure, it hadn't been the most pleasant setting in which to meet, and they hadn't exactly talked about the most pleasant things. But being able to converse with Vanille properly, after so many years apart, was the very thing he'd needed. Hope had been given reassurance in his actions, that he'd been doing the right thing and that there was still hope. In the midst of an unforeseen outcome, Hope now had a sense of direction to struggle toward….

He needed to share Vanille's story, _Snow's _story. And he needed to do it soon.

"Dr. Hau — Ellen," began Hope, "When do you think we'll make it back to headquarters? We're long overdue for a debriefing."

"Hour max," was the researcher's quick response. "Told you we needed one yesterday, didn't I? How soon do you want it? All the important people were present at the port, though. There's not much to tell."

"It's not just that, it's a bunch of other things too." There was a moment in which Hope's eyes met Ellen's. He wasn't really sure if Ellen could see his resolute determination, nor was he sure what Ellen could see in his own eyes. Nevertheless, the woman gave him her nod of approval.

"How about tomorrow morning," continued Hope, "after everyone's rested. Is that all right?"

"It's fine by me." Ellen gave Hope one last inquisitive glance before turning to the sky. "Ah. Ride's here."

True to her word, the sounds of an airship descending filled the area around them. It wasn't a particularly large airship, though it was much larger than the shuttle they'd taken in escaping Port Dexum. Still, Hope watched its descent with bated breath; it wasn't so much a feeling of awe, as he'd seen and been on many more impressive looking airships, yet there was a feeling of anxiousness that Hope couldn't immediately place his finger on.

Hope and Ellen boarded the airship in a moment's time. As the ship began to take into the air, they were met with a familiar sight.

"Looks like you made it out all right."

Sazh. Afro and all.

"It's nice to see you, Hope," continued Sazh, after he'd exchanged handshakes with Hope and after he'd given the Director his polite regards. "Noel's been worried sick."

"Noel?" asked Hope. That Noel had been worrying about him caused his insides to swell. But more importantly, Noel was okay! Hope glanced around the ship, looking for his brown-haired friend, but frowned when he was met with no such sight.

"Is he not here?"

Sazh shook his head. "He's waiting at headquarters. Dajh is with him."

"I see…." Ellen then took over the conversation, and she asked Sazh to establish a line with the Colonel so she could request for Hope a debriefing. All the while, Hope could not explain the sinking feeling he was feeling thereafter, but after adapting the mindset that he'd see Noel if he could wait just a little while longer, Hope was able to shake off the feeling.

* * *

><p>Noel had woken up early, despite how late he'd managed to fall asleep. His restlessness had not left him, even in waking, and he found himself reporting even before any of his superiors had arrived. When they did arrive, Noel had bombarded them with incessant inquiries on Hope's whereabouts (and Dr. Haussen's, Noel supposed), all of which were returned to him with empty, noncommittal responses.<p>

And then they had received Dr. Haussen's request for an airship — Noel had immediately risen to the occasion, requesting that he be allowed to board the ship and participate in the escort. Lieutenant Strike had initially given his consent, and Noel had been prepared to embark — but then Sazh had mentioned his need for a babysitter, and Colonel Euledin had immediately reassigned Noel to the task. Thus, Noel had bitterly watched the airship leave before taking his leave from the Colonel's presence.

He was now in the library, trying to ease his anxiousness and trying to pass the time. At first, Noel had merely wanted to get away from the Colonel, who was increasingly growing on his nerves, and it only occurred to him after much pacing that Hope did spend quite a lot of his time in the library. The thought consoled him somewhat — not enough to ease his mind, but enough for Noel to stay and stop pacing.

In an attempt to distract him from his thoughts, Noel began to scan the books on the shelves, idly thumbing the spines of each book as he passed. He wanted to see Hope; he didn't want to spend his time babysitting Sazh's kid, as nice as he was, and wherever Dajh actually was right now. Despite Lieutenant Strike's assurances, Noel was not satisfied. He wanted to meet Hope, to see him alive with his own eyes — and being able to greet Hope would sooner give him peace of mind. He was anxious, he wanted to confirm that he hadn't lost Hope as a result of his inaction and his trust in the wrong people….

Noel's eyes fell upon one particular book along the shelf. It appeared newer, at least in comparison to the rest of the dusty books that lined the shelves. In his younger days he'd been taught basic reading skills, but a lot of what he knew had been passed down by oral tradition, and there had always been a bigger emphasis on hunting the day's meals and less on recording history for a dwindling population. It wasn't that he _couldn't_ read, though Noel supposed that part of his problem was that language might have evolved over the years and that his travels with Serah had put him out of practice. There were still words he could recognize; in the title of this particular book, Noel recognized _Cocoon _and _400-500_.

"Interest you?" Taken aback by the sudden voice, Noel's head snapped toward the speaker. Lieutenant Strike stood several feet away, with Dajh by his side. At first Noel frowned — if this was to be the case, why couldn't the Lieutenant do the babysitting job? — but he quickly smiled after noting the grin upon the younger boy's face; it really was hard to not smile in Dajh's presence.

"You forgot the kid," continued the Lieutenant, drawing nearer until they were side by side; Noel acknowledged Dajh with a nod and made no comment to the Lieutenant's accusation. The Lieutenant then took the book from Noel's grasp, holding it up as if in examination. "Ah, _A Modern Account of Cocoon's Last Century: a retelling of 400-500 AF_. Not entirely inclusive, as it was written ten years ago. Definitely won't include any of this nonsense that's happened recently. Still accurate in everything else it entails, though."

"Right…." Noel was intrigued. Cocoon's last century would be the century he missed, the years both he and Serah — and Hope and Alyssa — skipped in order to witness Cocoon's fall and to stop Caius's ploys. He was certainly interested — he would be able to put everything into perspective, especially the developments surrounding the Ambassadors. But reading up would be too time-consuming, not to mention a struggle he didn't need.

Noel did not want to embarrass himself twice — he'd already made a fool of himself by openly stating he couldn't use a gun — and it was a miracle that Lieutenant Strike didn't already think he was incompetent. What more if Noel told him he was struggling with reading? So, with a more careful choice of words, Noel asked, "Lieutenant, sir, what did happen?"

The Lieutenant stared at him for several moments. "Ah, right," he said after some time, "you don't know, do you? Before your time? — come, we'll sit down. We've got some time to kill." Noel rolled his eyes — why had he been tasked with watching Dajh if the Lieutenant had time to kill? — but nevertheless he followed Lieutenant Strike and Dajh to a nearby table. He was still slightly bitter, but the promise of potentially learning something new was enough for Noel to let it go.

When they had settled down (Dajh was given the book Noel had selected, and it embarrassed Noel that Dajh seemed to comprehend it better than he probably could), Lieutenant Strike began to retell the history of Cocoon and the Academy:

"You came from the same era as Director Estheim, correct? — I'll refer to him as Hope, so as to not confuse him with the current Director. As you're probably aware, Hope spent many of his efforts as Director trying to prevent Cocoon's collapse, an unthinkable possibility that soon became a very real threat as the years went on. History books have Hope disappearing for three hundred ninety-seven years after his creation of the time capsule and resurfacing in 400 AF — so about a hundred years ago. That much was hard for us contemporaries to believe at first, especially when the book was first published, even though the Academy has written records of Hope stepping into the time capsule and though Academy researchers knew Hope was locked away in yet another time capsule. It became much easier to believe when he successfully appeared in our period of time.

"But I digress. Hope took fascination in the Thirteenth Ark, which was afloat in the sky when he'd arrived to Academia in 400 AF. The book claims Hope understood that Cocoon's pillar would eventually give way and that Cocoon would eventually fall to the ground. So Hope took on a new project. Instead of trying to keep Cocoon levitated, he aimed to create a new world altogether — Bhunivelze, the very planet we're standing on now. Of course, back then it was all just theory. At the time of proposal, Hope had no way of levitating his new planet, so his proposal was generally dismissed."

"The Graviton Cores," Noel said quietly, nodding his head in acknowledgement. Upon noting the Lieutenant's surprise, he explained, "Hope had us fetch them for him."

"Is that so…?" The Lieutenant nodded, seemingly impressed. "I didn't realize. The books don't credit you for the accomplishment. Remind me to talk to Dr. Haussen about getting that seen to later." There was a pause, and both men instinctively turned to check on Dajh; the young boy was flipping through the glossary of the book, seemingly fascinated by the many illustrations and photographs contained there. "Anyway, on record, Hope somehow managed to collect all of the cores, and as a result the project was reconsidered more seriously.

"Just as the proposal was being voted upon, Hope disappeared from that era without warning. The Academy knew of Hope's intention of witnessing the levitation of Bhunivelze, but they had not expected Hope to leave so soon. The proposal hadn't yet been fully approved! In his absence, the vote was divided. The division was mainly between those who were on Cocoon — and these were the ones who supported relocation to the new Cocoon — and those who resided on Pulse. Hope's proposal included evacuation of both Cocoon's and Pulse's citizens, and while Cocoon's citizens saw this as a mandatory action needed to avoid falling along with Cocoon, Pulse's citizens found it unnecessary. They would say, why not everyone just move to Pulse? Why the need to create a new planet altogether?

"At that point, the Academy split into two, with Pulse's faction breaking off entirely and abandoning all associations with the Academy — including its name. From that point, Pulse became self-sufficient and kept its affairs independent from those of Cocoon. They did not want to be involved with the creation of a new Cocoon. They were convinced it would only bring more bad than good — and considering the current state of things, maybe they were right. Regardless, Pulse focused its research on cushioning Cocoon's fall to protect its people who had refused to relocate, while Cocoon expended its resources in creating Bhunivelze based on the blueprints Hope had left behind.

"And that's… pretty much it. Both factions saw their goals to their success. Bhunivelze was launched into the air, and Cocoon's impact was successfully cushioned. It would appear, however, that Pulse's government was overrun sometime during all of this chaos business." As the Lieutenant finished his tale, Noel had to think to himself: Was this history as it should have been? — or was it a rewritten history, a product of their having meddled with time yet again? Noel tried to recount the tale, hoping that irregularities or contradictions would surface, but his mind was distracted by thoughts of Hope. He had always known that Hope had been accomplished, but the extent to which Hope had already saved humanity and that Hope was _still _trying his hardest…. More than ever, Noel hoped Hope was okay.

As if on cue, Lieutenant Strike ducked his head and spoke into his comm device. Had it rung? — Noel hadn't even heard anything. Noel watched curiously as the older man spoke, while Dajh remained immersed in reading and was as clueless as ever. When the Lieutenant finished, he stood up and offered Noel a weary smile.

"That was the Colonel," said the Lieutenant. "Just got word from Dr. Haussen. She and Hope should be here momentarily." Noel's face lightened with excitement — finally, he would get to see Hope! As Noel got up, the Lieutenant called out to Dajh; the boy, having seen the two men standing up, understood that it was time to leave.

"We'll meet them at the dock," the Lieutenant was saying. "Dr. Haussen says Hope's calling an intelligence meeting tomorrow morning. Any idea why?"

Noel shook his head. His best bet was in light of everything that had happened last night, but everyone had been there for that. Was it simply to touch base, or had Hope uncovered new discoveries — but who cared about an intelligence meeting, anyway? More importantly, Hope was alright! He had made it back safe, and the mere thought overjoyed Noel. Noel didn't even want to think about how he would've felt if he had failed to protect Hope, too….

They began to walk toward the airship landing zone. It was a very familiar route to Noel now, though this time he would be going to meet Hope instead of going to leave him. He wondered how Hope was doing. Did he get injured? Had he been scarred? Could Hope even walk? — and suddenly Noel had gone from rejoicing to worrying. His restlessness was returning to him, and it would not likely leave him until he could confirm Hope's condition with his own eyes.

"You look like you have a tummy ache," said Dajh. Noel had to fight a smile as he turned to the boy, who was gazing up at him curiously. Was that what he really looked like? Then again, Noel supposed butterflies weren't really edible….

"I guess you could say that." For a moment he wondered if he had been this curious of a child, too — likely, he had been — but upon remembering that everyone in his time had passed on, that no one now could remind him of his childhood, Noel abandoned the thought immediately.

"You should tell Daddy," said Dajh matter-of-factly. "Whenever I have tummy aches, Daddy always tells me — " but Noel didn't catch the rest of what Dajh had to say; as they turned the corner and into the landing area, Noel's eyes caught a glimpse of silver.

He didn't even turn to Lieutenant Strike for approval. It had hurt too much last night to see Hope in danger at a distance, to be unable to come to his aid. Even if Hope wasn't in any sort of danger now, Noel did not restrain himself. He would not keep his distance from Hope a second time.

Noel didn't stop to think about what his companions would think of him — Dajh, who was lost in childish innocence, and Lieutenant Strike, who had spent enough time analyzing Noel to the point where he likely understood Noel better than Noel himself did. Uncaring for all else, Noel ran.

* * *

><p>Hope was a bit uneasy as he stepped off the airship. He and Ellen were being treated nicely so far, but he knew they had both stepped out of line, Ellen more than himself. He did not like the idea of the Director losing her job on his behalf, even though it had been the woman's suggestion in the first place. Hope's biggest fear was that his misconduct would prevent him from pursuing his new goals of finding the Pulse fal'Cie.<p>

And then there was Noel. He _really _did want to see Noel, and Hope was grateful that Noel had survived the surprise attack. But he didn't know what Noel could possibly be thinking. Noel hadn't expected him to show up at the Port, had he? And they hadn't had the chance to converse, or even physically approach each other….

If Hope had known the other man was feeling similar anxiety, he would have maybe expected Noel's overly enthusiastic embrace. But Hope was unaware, so Noel's running-start hug nearly toppled him, and Hope was indeed caught by surprise.

The "You idiot" that was whispered into his ear moments later also caught him by surprise, though at best it summarized for Hope Noel's perspective on his actions.

There was bustling about them that Hope had previously been oblivious to, and upon registering that Noel would not soon let go of him, Hope allowed himself to take in the scene over Noel's shoulder. Father and son were being reunited, the older man lifting the boy into the air as Dajh spread his arms wide in imitation of an airship. A little closer to them was Lieutenant Strike, who had taken Ellen's hand and was greeting her with a polite handshake; both adults turned to him, and it was only as Hope's face flushed that he began to seriously try pushing Noel away.

"Day's still young," said Lieutenant Strike as he regarded each of the other five occupants of the deck in turn. "Seize the day, savor the reunion, all that jazz. Colonel expects all of you for a debriefing at seven hundred hours sharp — well, everyone except the little lad over here." The Lieutenant gave a soft smile to the boy in question, who in turn graced the room with his trademark grin.

At these words, the occupants slowly began to disperse. Sazh and Dajh left first, with the latter already in the process of explaining to his father the cool pictures from a book he had supposedly just read. Then left the Lieutenant, who gave a two fingered salute to Noel before nodding politely to Hope and Ellen. Finally, Ellen, though she did not leave immediately.

"You struck lucky with that one," Ellen said simply to Noel.

Hope flushed.

"E-Ellen!" Why would she say something like that? — what did she even mean by it?

As Hope's mind desperately searched for answers, Noel's head tilted in his confusion, his eyes narrowing.

"Ellen?"

"I told Hope to call me Ellen," the researcher explained. "You're welcome to too, if you'd like. Any friend of Hope's is mine also."

"Right…." A pause. "So, why am I lucky again?"

"Lieutenant Strike's a soft one," explained Ellen. Hope stared blankly at the Director's words — she had been talking about the _Lieutenant_? Why had he assumed Ellen had been talking about himself?

With both researcher and hunter oblivious to Hope's embarrassment, Ellen continued. "He and the Colonel are both respectable men in the military, and they're both men of serious business. The Colonel is old-fashioned. He thinks soldiers are trained by strict discipline and by regimented training. But the Lieutenant is kinder. He believes in the strength of the heart, that soldiers are strengthened not only by training, but by support and trust. Most men in the military don't believe in emotional attachment — but not Lieutenant Strike. At least, not on the job."

With this she bade them both goodbye, with the promise of seeing them bright and early the following morning. In her absence, Hope was left to wonder just what sort of man the Lieutenant was, just as he yearned to understand Ellen as a person outside her role as the Director of the Academy. But before Hope's thoughts could get carried away, Noel's voice called him back to the present time.

"Are you hurt anywhere?" asked Noel, when Hope had asked him to repeat himself. "You're okay, aren't you? You didn't get hurt or anything? And is there anywhere you want to go? I don't have any particular preferences, though standing here on the dock like this…"

Hope nodded as a smile crept upon his face. "I'm fine, Noel. Relax, I'm not hurt." He then took Noel's wrist and began to lead him away from the landing area. "Do you feel like doing anything? — there're things I want to tell you, but since there's already going to be a debriefing tomorrow — "

"Tell me anyway," said Noel, tugging playfully on Hope's arm. It was then Hope realized that he'd still been hanging onto Noel's wrist, and he quickly retracted his grasp. "Hey, I didn't mind…."

Hope only turned redder at these words.

"Let's go to that room," said Hope as he turned to Noel, and he slowed down so that they were now walking side by side. "Do you remember the room? You helped me with magic there."

"Well, tried to," corrected Noel. He gave his consent thereafter, and both men redirected themselves toward that familiar room. A silence fell over both of them as they walked, though it hadn't been an awkward silence. It was comfortable, almost. On his part, Hope's quietness was because he was busy going over what he wanted to say to Noel. He wanted to tell him about Vanille and Snow; anything else after that would come naturally.

The room was just as Hope remembered it. As he entered, Hope found himself conflicted at the memories that began to bombard him. On the one hand, Hope was reminded of his many failures. He remembered his cries of desperation as each of his magic attempts led to failure. Yet he also remembered Noel's reassurances, both as an instructor and as a friend. Back then, Noel had comforted him and had eased his own insecurities regarding his lost ability to use magic.

Had Hope thanked Noel properly? He couldn't remember. Perhaps it was because Noel was the closest friend he had left (Sazh tended to take on a more fatherly role), with his other friends in states Hope still had difficulty coming to terms with. But explanations aside, there was no denying the impact Noel now had on his life. Even if Hope never managed to relearn magic, even if Hope never managed to save the — no, Hope could not start thinking like that — he would still be grateful for Noel.

The two men did not practice magic this time. It hadn't been agreed upon vocally, but both men seemed to understand each other's intentions; without a word, the two men leaned against a nearby wall and slumped to the floor next to each other.

There was a moment's silence at first. Hope was trying to reorganize his thoughts. It wasn't so much that Hope thought Noel wouldn't believe him; Hope wasn't even sure why he was going over the words in his head again and again. But before Hope could give his overly rehearsed recitation, Noel had spoken before him.

"Tell me what happened," Noel said quietly. There was something in Noel's voice that Hope couldn't catch, and though Hope would have told Noel anyway, it was this extra something that moved him to actually do it without delay.

Hope started from the beginning, from when he and Noel had parted ways, to having waited for Noel at the tent (Noel apologized), to Ellen passing by the tent to inform him of the situation, to Ellen's suggestion in sneaking away to Port Dexum —

"You really are an idiot," Noel muttered; albeit naively, Hope took this as a playful aside and continued onward.

— to their escape via velocycle, to their arrival at Port Dexum, to their slipping past soldiers and overhearing from casual conversations where the actual meeting would take place, to situating themselves and overhearing the exchange between the Colonel and Gregor, to fleeing via emergency shuttle, to camping out by the shuttle in the middle of nowhere, and finally —

"And that's pretty much how I'm here now," Hope finished. He turned to Noel; any etch of a smile Hope had had on his face vanished. The amusement in recalling his own crazy adventure — and Ellen had _not _been kidding when she said it would be an adventure — died upon noticing the pained expression upon Noel's face.

Hope's instinct was to apologize, and apologize he did. But Noel did not take kindly to the apology.

"Are you really, Hope? You know how many times you could've died last night? — if something had happened to you, in _any _of those instances, you couldn't even be here apologizing to me."

"I was worried about you…" — was what Hope had wanted to say, but he couldn't find the words. It seemed Noel had worried for him more, and he felt guilty for his actions, if not reckless.

Hope waited to hear more from Noel, but nothing came. Instead, he felt an arm around wrap around his shoulders; when Hope turned to Noel curiously, the latter could only give a weak smile. In the past, Hope would've recoiled from the man's embrace, and Hope knew he had done it to Noel before; since his mom's passing, Hope had been uncomfortable with physical intimacy, and even hugs were difficult affairs in themselves. Yet in that moment, Hope did not pull away, though he did not consciously acknowledge that he didn't.

"I can't be angry with you, Hope," Noel said quietly, his voice becoming gentler as he spoke. "I'm just… so glad that you're safe. I don't know what I could've done if I'd lost you too."

Hope thought he could relate to the feeling. He'd lost his mother, then Vanille and Fang, then Light, and now Snow. In some sense, Hope realized that they were quite similar, that they both carried with them the weight of those they had lost — but when Noel spoke again, Hope realized he'd been slightly off the mark.

Hope had lost his mother before his eyes, and that experience in itself had been traumatic. What more if she had died within his reach? — and it was this that served as the basis of Noel's fears. He had watched Yeul die in his arms, and then Serah. By the time Noel had gotten to Hope's name, he couldn't even bear to finish the thought aloud. Noel was not only plagued by the fear of losing people but also the guilt in being unable to do anything, because people had died in his arms, people he had been meant to protect, people that others had _entrusted_ him to protect — yet could not. And while Hope wasn't really sure who had asked Noel to protect him, Hope slowly began to better understand where the brunet was coming from.

When Hope finally found the words to tell Noel that he'd only set out in his own worry for Noel, Noel let out a soft chuckle, though as he was already in an emotional mess, it had come out more as a choked sob.

"I guess we're more alike than we realized," Noel said, and Hope couldn't agree more.

_More than you know_.

Noel continued. "I needed something to keep me going, you know? You told me to turn to the military, to keep my mind off things, and I listened. But I needed something more. Losing Serah was hard, it really was, and picking up after both her and Yeul was really difficult for me. But then I thought of you" — here, Hope turned away — "and realized that you were right. She really was with us still — because her ideals were your ideals, and while I was still moping around, you were strong enough to keep fighting."

"I-I wouldn't say I'm strong…" mumbled Hope — in truth, Hope was sure he was just better at hiding his grief — but Noel waved his hand dismissively and continued.

"It's a bit weird for me to admit, but you're what brought me back up, Hope. I realized by protecting you, everything everyone's done will have been worth it. So don't go making my new job difficult, you got that Hope?"

"I'll try." Hope wasn't sure how to describe his feelings. Was he flattered? Honored? If anything, his insides were swelling. Hearing what Noel had to say made him happy, that even if Hope's efforts weren't always fruitful, he was at least doing someone some good —

Hope snapped his fingers. The dream! — Noel had not been the only one to come up with a new course of action. So before the thought escaped him again, Hope began to tell Noel about his dream, about his meeting with Vanille. He told Noel every detail he could remember, from her recollection on Snow's story to her current state of consciousness — even the small detail about Fang's fingers. All the while, Noel listened intently, not once showing any signs of disbelief, though concern did pass over his face when Hope told him about his plans about seeking out Pulse.

"You really are an idiot, Hope," Noel told him after Hope had finished his tale. "Did I not just say to not make my job difficult? — you're killing me. Humans are strong creatures in their determination, but they're also weak. They die easy. You're just like Snow."

Though Hope knew from where Noel's frustration stemmed, he still wasn't sure whether being compared to Snow was meant to be a compliment or an insult. Had it not been long ago when Hope had told Noel the same thing?

"Noel, I'm — "

"You're sorry, I know. You're going to tell me it's something you have to do. Am I right?" When Hope said nothing, Noel shook his head, and a small smile began to show upon his face. "That's why… that's why you have to let me protect you. Let me stand by your side. Please?"

There was an underlying implication that neither man knew, that neither man understood at the time. Perhaps in the future both men would look back upon this day, the day they came to a mutual understanding with each other… if either man would be capable of remembering it.

"Noel…."

"You'll be okay," said Noel. The hand that he had placed on Hope's shoulder squeezed Hope reassuringly. "I'll keep you safe. Besides, I've killed one deity. What's one more, right?" In light of Noel's terrible joke (though, Hope was glad that Noel could make a joke out of it, as it was a sign that Noel wasn't allowing his past to get the best of him), there was something about his words that struck him as familiar, as if a certain person had given him those words long ago….

There weren't many words left to be said. They were both men who had left everything behind in pursuit of a brighter future, to save humanity and its world. They were both men burdened by the loss of important people, each unable to saved his loved ones, each driven by a burning desire to not let any more harm come to those still they were still able to protect: each other. They were two men who were akin to each other, two men who understood each other.

"Don't leave me," whispered Hope, and he meant it in every connotation of the phrase. _Don't abandon me. Don't let me die. Don't get yourself killed._

_Don't leave my side._

* * *

><p>There was a prolonged silence between them, after Noel had silently agreed to Hope's plea. Neither man needed to speak; on Noel's part, he was treasuring the feeling of being able to hold someone dear to him, taking comfort in that Hope was okay, that he was alive and well, that he wasn't losing yet another person in his arms. Hope was warm in his embrace, and that feeling pumped a certain reassurance through Noel's veins: a surge of relief, an antidote to a long unquenched restlessness.<p>

The agreement between them was deeper than either man could fully understand. The terms of their agreement were unspoken, marked only by three words to which Noel had every intention of fulfilling as best he could. Noel couldn't claim he understood it more than the other, yet he was okay with not knowing. Though he did not know the impact their agreement would have on their friendship, though he could not fathom how Hope's mind would analyze their conversation together, though Noel no longer had any idea what exactly Hope was to him — Noel knew enough. Hope was important to him, and Hope had put his trust in Noel and Noel's desire to protect him. And Noel, in turn, would put his trust in Hope's desires, even if he still felt that seeking out a demigod was almost literally seeking out a death sentence.

It was only when Noel had taken in enough of Hope's physical presence that Noel finally let go of Hope and helped him up. Having been the last man to exist and having spent his last days in a now nonexistent future alone, the concept of too much physical contact was lost with Noel, and his many qualms over Hope's safety had only encouraged a clinginess that would have ensued anyway. Noel still remembered that Hope had once withdrawn himself from even the slightest of hugs, and after having observed Hope in Alyssa's presence it did not take a genius to figure out that Hope was not typically one to enjoy physical contact. Though he hesitated at first, in the end Noel found himself apologizing.

"It's fine," Hope told him. "I think I needed it just as much as you did. Let's go get something to eat, alright?" If the silver-haired man was okay with it, Noel could be too — so, Noel allowed himself to let the matter go.

They would be eating lunch at the bunkers, of course, though this time they would be eating at the food bank instead of helping run it. As an aside, and as they walked, Noel wondered if he would get to see the five year old boy today. As with Dajh, there was something about a child's innocence that could make any day that much brighter.

For a while they walked in silence; in fact, it wasn't until they reached the food bank that Noel was suddenly reminded of the history Lieutenant Strike recounted for him. Noel decided to ask Hope about it, partly for the sake of conversation, but partly because he wondered just how much Hope already knew.

"The Lieutenant gave me a crash course on Cocoon's last one hundred years," said Noel as they were getting their food. "I didn't know you created the time capsule too, Hope. I thought that was Alyssa's doing."

The expression that fell upon Hope's face at these words was his first sign that something was amiss.

"It was, though," said Hope slowly. "Time capsules were along Alyssa's line of research. I can't take credit for any of it. Jumping into the future wouldn't have been possible without her."

Noel frowned — had the books been wrong? Then again, the Lieutenant said that Noel and Serah's names hadn't been mentioned, though Noel was sure that error was only a result of a lack of credible sources. There was still something suspicious about it, though. It was almost as if…

"…hey Noel," began Hope, "did the Lieutenant mention Alyssa at all? I asked the Director about Alyssa last night, and she said she hadn't even heard her name before."

…as if she'd been erased from history entirely.

_When you change the future, you change the past_.

"Not at all," said Noel. He didn't like the strange feeling that was beginning to settle within him. "Hope, remember we told you once? — back when you still had plans to create a Proto fal'Cie? It was because we changed the future that we changed the past — that we were able to save you."

"Thanks for that," Hope muttered. As they began to seek out a table, realization slowly passed over his face. "…wait, are you telling me — ?"

"When Serah and I defeated Caius, we changed the future, so we changed the past. Something must have happened… something that had Alyssa working in a different field, or even a different profession. Something that wouldn't have her down in the history books."

"I guess…." Hope did not seem convinced. "Why her, though?"

"No idea," said Noel. "I'm just more surprised that you still remember her. You've never had recollections of your forgotten pasts before. At least, nothing you ever told us about." Here, Noel was using the term 'forgotten pasts' quite loosely, as it wasn't that Hope had forgotten them but rather that they had ceased existing altogether.

"Physical memories."

Hope had said it so quietly that Noel had to ask him to repeat himself.

"Physical memories. Alyssa tried explaining the concept to me once, back at the Yaschas Massif. She didn't use the term in this context, of course, but she proposed this idea of the body having memories, too. She said that, though physical memories — or bodily memories, as she sometimes referred to them — were hard to distinguish from normal memories, bodily memories can be retained even if the mind forgets. It's kinda like riding a velocycle — even if you've haven't ridden on one in a while, by the time you hop back on one, you almost forget that it's been a while."

As Noel had not lived in a society with these supposed 'velocycles,' Noel could not at all relate to Hope's examples. Instead, he compared it to hunting; while a lack of practice often left the average hunter rusty, the basics behind it were nearly instinctual.

"I never took her theories too seriously, then," continued Hope, "but it would certainly explain things, if what you said is really true. Alyssa and I worked a lot together, and needless to say, I think she spent more time attached to my arm than not being in my presence — you've seen it for yourself." Hope turned to Noel, and Hope's smile in turn also had Noel smiling. "It's kinda hard to forget a presence like hers."

"Do you think a presence like mine would be hard to forget?" asked Noel in a confident yet teasing voice, casting the other man a playful smile. He had meant it as a joke, and consequently he was caught off guard by the seriousness of the expression that had passed over Hope's face. The more he thought on it, however, the more Noel realized how serious his question actually was. He didn't think their actions would change anything — they were changing the present, not the future — but the mere thought of Hope and Noel being thrown back to their respective eras, their memories they'd created together lost within the hundreds of years that would separate them… .

"I would hope I didn't forget you, Noel," said Hope. "But for good measure, maybe you should take after Alyssa's example?"

Noel smiled. Hope had given him a satisfactory answer. He did not want the other worrying about the possibility just as he had — and knowing Hope, Noel knew he would consider the possibility seriously — so he decided to take Hope's response quite seriously, if not to distract himself from his own thoughts.

"Your words, Hope."

* * *

><p>Hope, apparently, did not realize that Noel would take his suggestion seriously.<p>

"H-Hey," he whined playfully as Noel clung onto his arm, his chin digging into his shoulder. "Noel, please… that actually hurts, you know."

"But I don't want you to forget me!" Hope rolled his eyes. He almost regretted telling the other man Alyssa's theories — and in truth, Hope was more inclined to dismiss them than to accept them as sufficient explanation. Sure, Noel's playfulness was cute, though Hope refused to admit it, as he did not want to encourage the brown-haired man's behavior. But he preferred that Noel not think about the possibility at all. At this point, Hope could not afford to adapt that sort of mentality: He needed to keep a positive outlook.

All of this was lost with Noel, unfortunately. By the look of things they were headed toward their tent, and Noel appeared to have no intention on letting go.

"Noel!" And again, Noel did not let go. Hope supposed it didn't help that his pleas were accompanied by laughter. Then again, who was he to deny Noel amusement? — Hope had a sneaking suspicion that the other man needed this more than he did, and though Noel's chin against his shoulder really was beginning to hurt, Hope let the man be.

The price of his inaction, it seemed, was Noel pushing them both through the tent's threshold, and as he stumbled on Hope's feet they both fell to the ground. Noel's last words had been "Promise me you won't forget me," before falling on top of Hope.

Hope was flustered at first, having not been used to the feeling of another person resting on top of him, and he had every intention of shoving Noel off. It was only when Hope attempted to move Noel that he realized Noel had actually fallen asleep on him.

With Noel's muscle mass alone weighing down on him, Hope knew he would not have the strength to push him off, so he did not bother trying. As it was, Hope was already fighting back a yawn. Perhaps he was more tired than he'd realized….

He thought upon Noel's last question. Would he forget Noel? Would he be okay if that happened? Hope doubted it would happen, yet….

"I'd be an idiot to forget someone like you," Hope muttered as he patted the other man's back weakly. Noel sure was heavy. "And according to you, I already am one. So… I guess this means I won't be forgetting you."

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Posted: <strong>30 Apr 2012**  
>Last Edited: <strong>08 Feb 2014

_Upcoming: The fight for humanity takes on two fronts._


	8. Against the World

_In the previous episode, Noel and Hope are reunited. Each man shares with the other his new found purpose, but Noel is not as pleased in hearing Hope's goals. It is then that Hope understands Noel's biggest fear: to be yet again responsible for the death of someone he holds dear. Feelings once unspoken are now shared, and Hope realizes that they have much more in common than he realized…._

* * *

><p><strong>Crystal Fortresses<br>**_Two men seeking to save the future, driven by the burdens of their past: Perhaps they had more in common than Hope once thought._

Episode 8: Against the World

* * *

><p>For Hope, the strangest aspect to sleeping underground was that there was no trigger for waking up. He would go to bed the night before, and then he would wake up the following morning with little to no changes in his environment. He would only feel more refreshed — nothing less, and nothing more.<p>

The statement more or less held true in this moment, too: The Noel that had fallen asleep on top of him the day before was still asleep on top of him upon waking up.

Hope had no way of knowing what time of day it was, or if it was even day at all. They'd retreated to the tents so early the day before, and Hope hadn't nearly expected the both of them to fall asleep as easily as they had. If Hope had to guess, he'd say it was very early morning, possibly even late evening still. In either situation, Hope was positive that they couldn't have missed the debriefing, so there was no real reason to leave — and even if the possibility were at all plausible, Noel's weight was making it difficult for Hope to check his watch to confirm it for himself.

Trapped between Noel and a hard place — namely, the floor — Hope found himself with very few options for self-amusement; most of them, if not all of them, involved Noel in one way or another. He allowed himself to entertain a few of these options, if only in his own mind. He wondered: if he stared at Noel, how long would it take for Noel to catch him in the act? — if he talked to Noel in his sleep, how long before Noel started sleep talking to him? — if he incessantly poked the man's forehead —

Hope shook his head, chuckling quietly at where his train of thought had taken him. He thought on their previous day together: the words and sorrows exchanged, Noel's insecurity, the feeling of being held in the man's arms, the mutual understanding that had wordlessly fallen between them. And then he thought on what Noel had said to him during lunch and how, though history had been changed, Hope could still remember….

Hope was uneasy. Just how did he feel about Alyssa? He could still feel hints of anger, a direct product of betrayal. It was not long ago when Hope had wanted to forgive her because she had meant so much to him in his days of loneliness in a foreign world. Yet would forgiveness mean anything? — the Alyssa he knew had changed, apparently. But then, did that mean he himself had changed, too? — how else would he be where he was now — besides under Noel — if it were not for Alyssa's research efforts? Had his history changed along with Alyssa's? Was it possibly that only Alyssa's existence had been changed, that Hope's life as he knew it was still true to his memory?

No, the latter thought didn't even make sense. But nothing did make sense, because Hope's memories of Alyssa were still quite clear. Hope hadn't forgotten about her, her betrayal, her scientific contributions and her companionship. It was because of this thought, actually, that suddenly had Hope's thoughts returning to Noel and his childish antics, to Noel's playful yet quite serious requests for Hope to not forget him….

If he hadn't forgotten Alyssa, would he forget Noel? Though he had somewhat made a promise to a sleeping Noel, Hope couldn't shake the possibility from his thoughts. They were fiddling with the fate of the world, weren't they? — what if one of their actions affected —

No. Hope couldn't afford to think like that. He needed to save Vanille, Fang, Light and Snow. Even if the thought of forgetting about Noel was painful to consider, he couldn't allow anything to turn him away from his goal. Not now. His goals were already impossible enough; perhaps Hope had been naïve to commit to meeting a demigod in person, and even if it were possible, who could tell how long it would take? Could the results he wanted from such a meeting even be realized? — surely before then the world would —

"You're staring." Hope was alarmed by the sudden voice, though he did not visibly react. It seemed that as Hope's thoughts had drifted toward Noel, so had his gaze. Piercing blue eyes met his for a split second before Noel turned away to hold back a yawn.

"S-Sorry…."

"Don't worry about it." When Noel turned back to face Hope, a mischievous smile was upon his face. "You make a _great_ pillow, Hope."

"Yeah? Well, you never asked to be on top." Though Hope had playful intentions, it had taken some effort to keep the bitterness out of his voice. Being crushed wasn't exactly his favorite position when sleeping. "You're heavy. All… muscly. I bet you'd make a great pillow, too."

"Muscly?" Noel smirked, glancing at one of his arms as he gave it a flex. "Nah, you're just a twig."

At these last words Hope attempted to shove the brunet off, feigning hurt — but Hope had neither the strength nor the correct technique, and his efforts only proved futile.

"Yup, definitely a twig."

"I thought I was a pillow?" countered Hope. Then, in a louder voice, he added, "What does that even matter, anyway? — Get off, Noel, you're so heavy! I feel like I'm going to die."

As he rolled his eyes, Noel granted the silver-haired man's wishes. He rolled off of Hope and heaved a sigh as he lay on the mat next to Hope.

"If you insist," he said. "Can't have you dying, can we?"

"Y-Yeah…." Hope nodded stiffly, his eyes silently observing the tent's ceiling as he bit his lip nervously. He felt guilty now, especially after having remembered what Noel had confessed to him the day before. Perhaps he could've chosen his words more wisely.

A few seconds of silence fell between them. Hope thought to apologize, or to ask if the man's sleep had been nice, or to break the silence in any other way he knew how — but before he could decide on the former, let alone before he could find the words to actually apologize, the opening of their tent parted and a familiar man's face and his afro appeared through the opening.

"Sounds like lovers' bickering in here," muttered Sazh, giving the both of them dirty looks. While Hope chuckled nervously and turned to his side, back facing Noel, Noel leaned up into a sitting position to regard the older man properly. "Who needs alarm clocks when you got you two? Waking up the kid and his old man like that. Some of the things you were yelling though, let me tell ya. Good heavens, I'm glad Dajh's too young to get any of it."

While Hope flushed a bright red — and he was quite glad he had turned away from Noel's and Sazh's lines of vision — Noel tilted his head, asking curiously, "What did we say?"

"Rather not repeat it." There was a pause between the three men, a pause that Hope could not explain because his sights were fixed upon the far tent wall. He didn't want to find out just how much of a judging look Sazh was giving him, nor did he really feel like looking at Noel for _any _reason, not after the accusation Sazh had just made. In retrospect, Hope realized that he and Noel laying so closely next to each other had not helped the situation any… what more if Sazh had walked in on Noel sleeping on top of him?

"Hey Sazh, what time is it?" asked Hope after some time, unable to bear the silence that had fallen over them.

"Six hundred hours," said Sazh. At these words, Hope immediately sprang to his feet, but not before Sazh had added, "Finish whatever the hell you two were doing, and then we can all head out together."

Why Hope fell to the ground right after having just stood up, neither Noel nor Sazh could offer an explanation.

* * *

><p>It didn't feel that long ago since Noel had last stepped into the large circular room for their last strategy briefing. He had been out of it then — and they had <em>just <em>lost Serah, too — so Noel couldn't really remember many of the details of the meeting itself. He recalled he had been asked to speak about his fight with Caius, and he was sure Hope had said something about Lightning, but beyond that….

While the recent emergence of the Ambassadors had led the Academy slightly astray, there was no denying that the threat of Valhalla's partial consumption of their world was still looming over them — even if something had stopped this process. Hope had suggested Lightning, hadn't he? Noel wondered if Lightning really was alive somewhere. He wondered mostly to himself, as Hope would not allow him to even entertain the possibility. Noel wanted to believe she was okay, because Hope and Serah both had faith in her well-being. But if Lightning really was responsible, did that mean she was doomed to keeping Valhalla at bay?

Noel didn't want to think about it, so he adapted Hope's mentality. For the sake of staying focused on what was important, Noel would momentarily keep his optimism.

He recognized many of those sitting in the room, though he didn't know most of their names. He recognized Dr. Haussen — Ellen, as she'd reintroduced herself to him before, but Noel found it difficult to take her seriously by that name — and he took notice of his superiors, Colonel Euledin and Lieutenant Strike; otherwise, he only recognized Hope and Sazh and his kid.

Before the meeting began, Dajh placed an unmoving Mog on the circular table before them. In the midst of everything that had happened recently, Mog had slipped past Noel's thoughts, and that the moogle had not yet woken up saddened Noel. Though Hope had come up with his own theories, some more faulty than others, there was still no solid explanation for Mog's sleep, similar to the way there was no real explanation on what had really happened to Lightning. It was only as Noel thought back on his journey that he realized just how important Mog had been in raising morale.

Did Hope intend on saving Mog too? But Noel did not have time to think on it: Dr. Haussen had taken the floor.

"Good morning gentlemen, thank you for answering your summons. We are gathered here in response to a Code 03, requested by former Director Estheim. We will begin with debriefing, and follow from there with our strategy briefing. As the current Director of the Academy, I hereby hand over this briefing to Director Estheim."

Noel had a suspicion he'd heard these words before — and by the way Hope had rolled his eyes as he stood up, Noel had a feeling he hadn't been the only one.

"Right. As Dr. Haussen just said, the agenda is as follows: The objective for this meeting is to state any developments since our last meeting and to propose a plan of action. I would first like to ask Lieutenant Strike to speak in detail on the events of Port Dexum. Next, I will speak on behalf of my journey with the Director, in addition to shedding some light on the crystallized statues of Snow and Vanille. Then, I would like to put forth a suggested course of action, at least on my part." — here, Noel sighed quietly; Hope was really serious on seeking out a deity — "Finally, the floor will be opened for anyone wishing to speak. Any objections?"

When no one objected, Hope sat down, and the Lieutenant rose from his chair. Noel did not pay much attention to the man's summary, since he'd been there to witness all of it — from the Ambassadors' arrival, to the revealing of Snow's crystal statue, to the discovery of Hope and Dr. Haussen, to the fight that ensued, and to the disappearance of Gregor and Snow's statue. Noel did not need Lieutenant Strike's recap to relive that dreadful night.

While no one had any questions for the Lieutenant, several comments had been made. On Sazh's part, he cynically remarked in passing that one by one the Pulse l'Cie were returning to crystal stasis, a state that was theirs to return to, a state that had always been meant for them. As Hope frowned upon the man's comment ("It's only Snow, Sazh — we don't know Light's status for sure."), Noel overheard Dr. Haussen remarking on Gregor's full name, though it had been to herself, as if she were trying to recall where she'd once heard the name before.

Hope spoke next. Despite his introduction, he spoke very little about his travels with the Director (during Hope's rushed summary, one of the Lieutenants Noel didn't know by name stepped forward and admitted to having submitted the request for Hope and Dr. Haussen's escape from the port) and placed much more focus on his dream with Vanille. As Hope was speaking to his audience, Noel could already see the disapproving expressions of many of the other occupants of the room, especially that of Colonel Euledin.

When Hope finished retelling his encounter with Vanille — most importantly, the details involving Snow's crystallization and Hope's theory in decrystallizing the others — he was met with mixed reactions. Noel, of course, took it well, and even if he hadn't heard it all before, he would've believed what Hope had to say. Dajh, who reacted first, turned to his father and reprimanded him for having not believed him days ago, when he had insisted that Vanille had been trying to talk to him; whether Vanille had actually tried contacting Dajh, Noel couldn't say for sure.

Sazh's response was the most neutral of everyone's: "So what you're saying is, Snow _asked _the fal'Cie to brand him again? — I can buy it. Sounds like something he would do."

"Does this kid have any significance, though?"

Noel didn't need to guess who had been the one to say this. Each time the Colonel opened his mouth, Noel was given more and more of a reason to dislike him.

"Look kid," he continued, "I understand you wanna save your friends. But a couple of lives over a nation? It's just not justified."

"You don't — "

"Look, I don't doubt anything you said. I have no reason to believe you'd lie about this stuff. But you can't just do things as you please — you and the Director frolicking around Port Dexum was trouble enough. Truth is, we're fighting a war. If one of your men falls, you don't stop to pick them up. Unless that person can do you some good, you keep fighting."

Noel turned to Hope, sensing that the silver-haired man was taking the Colonel's words to heart. The Colonel didn't understand, not as Noel did — and upon noticing Hope's trembling fists at his sides, Noel knew he'd had enough.

"_Listen_," he hissed as he stood up, not caring if he didn't have the right to. "I don't know what you consider 'good,' but if it weren't for Snow, Hope, Sazh and the others, your ancestors would have died along with Cocoon. That what you call 'doing you some good?'"

"Noel…" began Hope, but Noel was not done.

"If for some reason that's not good enough for you, remember that Snow's a l'Cie. He's more of a fighting force than you'll ever be."

At that moment Lieutenant Strike rose, a furious expression having replaced his normally gentle one. "That's enough disrespect from you," he interjected. But before any other men could add their two cents to the pot, Dr. Haussen stood also; in a loud voice she commanded the men to return to their seats and to calm themselves, and for one reason or another — for Noel, sheer terror — each of them took his seat.

There was a moment of silence within the room, each man keeping to himself. Almost instinctively, with the mental image of Hope's trembling fists still fresh in his own mind, Noel reached under the table and grabbed hold of Hope's wrist. He could only imagine how Hope had felt when he'd had to listen to the Colonel berating him; the Colonel made that burly friend of Serah's seem tame. In hopes of consoling him, Noel stroked Hope's pale skin gently with his own thumb; the two caught each other's gaze, and though neither man broke the silence Hope offered Noel a faint smile before turning back to the Director.

The Lieutenant was the first to speak again. "With all due respect, I agree with both Director Estheim and the Colonel. We are facing a war on two fronts, aren't we? — is there not the issue with Vahalla?"

"There is," said Dr. Haussen. She then looked to one of her scientists, who in response handed her a bundle of reports. She quickly thumbed through the pages before continuing. "There seems to be a bit of stagnancy on that front. Signatures still match, intensities still differ: Nothing's changed on the note of Valhalla — but things can easily change for the worse. Besides, I have a hunch that Hope's business with Pulse is heavily tied to Valhalla."

Before Hope could affirm the woman's statement, Sazh interjected. "Hold up, now. Can someone bring us normal folk up to speed on Vahalla and Pulse? You mean Pulse as in Gran Pulse?"

"No," Hope and Dr. Haussen said in unison. When Sazh returned their answer with only a blank stare, Dr. Haussen sighed and regained control over the floor.

"This is the creation story in a nutshell. According to mythology, our world is actually divided in two: the Mortal World and the Unseen World. The Mortal World is the world we live in" — here, the Director waved her arms about her — "while the Unseen World is the realm of the dead. At the beginning of time, the god Bhunivelze killed his mother Mwynn to gain control over the Mortal World, so Mwynn was sent into the Unseen World."

"Is this a different Bhunivelze than the new Cocoon Hope's erected?" asked the Colonel. Both Hope and the Director nodded, the latter continuing her summary without further explanation.

"Though Bhunivelze took control over our world, he believed that his mother had placed a curse over it so that it would one day be destroyed. By defeating his mother once and for all, he believed the curse would be lifted. But his mother now dwelled in the Unseen World, and Bhunivelze could not enter it without giving up control over our world. So Bhunivelze created the original fal'Cie, Pulse, and he tasked Pulse with searching for a door to the Unseen World. He then created the second fal'Cie, Etro — "

"Wait, wait," said Colonel Euledin, "I thought this Etro was the goddess. Didn't we talk about this last time?"

"The three gods we know — Etro, Pulse, and Lindzei — are actually fal'Cie, though mankind has incorrectly identified them as being gods and goddesses." The Director paused for a moment, as if waiting for further questions, before continuing again.

"Bhunivelze realized he had created Etro in his mother's likeness, which displeased him. So he gave Etro no powers, and to replace her he made Lindzei, whom he tasked with protecting himself and the rest of the Mortal World. After this, Bhunivelze crystallized into a deep sleep, said to not awake until the door to the Unseen World was found, and he charged Lindzei with waking him up at this time.

"Like l'Cie, fal'Cie are given a Focus — except Etro. Etro was given no powers and no task to complete. She became distressed in her search for purpose, so she essentially killed herself, and unknowingly she created mankind from her blood. She connected to us, creatures she hadn't intended on creating, because like herself we were destined to die.

"When Etro died, she was sent to the Unseen World. She met Mwynn, who was near death and was engulfed in chaos. In her dying moments, Mwynn gave Etro a purpose: to protect the balance of the universe."

"Wait," interjected Sazh, "is the Unseen World… Valhalla?"

Hope was the one to answer. "Valhalla is often confused with the Unseen World and is sometimes even called the Unseen Realm. But they're not the same. My theory is that Valhalla is a world between both of these worlds. If Etro was tasked with maintaining the balance of the two worlds, then Valhalla likely resides at the fulcrum — a place existing between the two worlds."

Hope turned to Sazh, who nodded slowly. "Makes sense," the older man said, and he waved a hand at the Director. "Continue."

"In Pulse's search for the door to the Unseen World, he created the land on which we now live — well, Gran Pulse — and he created many other fal'Cie to search above the skies, beneath the land, and under the waters for this gate. Meanwhile, Lindzei protected the world, and she raised into the skies a floating paradise — Cocoon. Eventually, Pulse and Lindzei vanished from our world, and the fal'Cie they created were left in continuing the tasks given onto them."

No one had anything to say after Dr. Haussen finished her story. Noel wasn't really sure what to think. His grandmother's stories had never dated this far back, so he had nothing to base Dr. Haussen's story on. But Hope seemed to be on the same page as the Director, so if Hope trusted her credibility, Noel would too.

When no one spoke, Dr. Haussen continued. "Of course, a thousand years later, Cocoon's gone, and with it Lindzei's fal'Cie. But Pulse and Lindzei are still out there — and Bhunivelze continues to sleep."

"But that's all just mythology," said Colonel Euledin. "None of that has to come true. Whereas the Ambassador threats — "

"Pulse was tasked with finding the door to the Unseen World," reminded Hope as he cut the Colonel off. "Meanwhile, Valhalla is becoming one with our world. I think it's very safe to say that there's a high chance of Pulse and Lindzei returning."

"Which makes Hope's proposal of searching for Pulse not so farfetched after all!" exclaimed Noel. He had to admit, he still didn't have a firm handle on this mythology stuff, and he had only spoken up with the intention of defending Hope. He turned his gaze toward the Colonel and continued with forced politeness. "Sir, this war is on two fronts, isn't it? I think you should let Hope find Pulse. If it weren't for Valhalla not fully merging with our world and this restrained chaos business, our world would've already been consumed. I think Hope should be given this chance — knowing Hope, he might even figure out something about Valhalla in the process."

"Or make things worse," retorted the Colonel, and Noel forced himself to fight back a scowl.

"Pulse's whereabouts are unknown," reminded the Director, "and Valhalla is a realm that Pulse likely has not yet reached. Still, with Pulse's return imminent, I support Hope's proposal, as crazy as finding a demigod sounds."

"May I interrupt?" asked Sazh, "Just whose side is this Pulse on, anyway? — and this Bhunivelze, for that matter. Guy's got guts to kill his mother."

"Pulse was the one who branded us," Hope muttered quietly. "As for Bhunivelze, I think he wants to recreate the world. Our world as we know it would be destroyed."

Immediately following Hope's words, three different responses were said simultaneously. From the Colonel, _Great, so we're living on a planet named after some god out to destroy the world_; from Sazh, _Wait what? — but I thought that thing in the Bodhum Vestige branded us_; from Noel, Are y_ou seriously asking for an audience with someone who once ruined your life?_

"This is something I need to do," said Hope. Noel turned to the silver-haired man, his eyes wide in disbelief — Hope _really _was trying to get himself killed, wasn't he? — but Noel was distracted when Hope removed himself from Noel's grasp, taking Noel's hand into his own and giving it a reassuring squeeze. All retort Noel once had, was now lost.

Colonel Euledin heaved a sigh. "The jury is out on this one, isn't it? I can't stop a fully grown man from chasing after death. But the question is, you got any real plan? If you're just going to run around Gran Pulse like headless Chocobos, I'm afraid I can't expend any of my men on your petty quests."

"I'll go with him," said Noel, and all eyes turned on him. It was a decision he'd already set himself on, and he would not be taking no for an answer. That some of the people in the room were regarding him with surprise surprised him in turn; he didn't think he'd be the type to just let someone walk into danger alone, and most certainly not Hope.

"So, it's settled then, isn't it?" Dr. Haussen looked to each of the men in the room in turn; the only response that hadn't been affirmative was the Colonel's noncommittal shrug. "The Academy's military will focus on protecting the citizens of Bhunivelze from terrorist attacks. The Academy and I will return to research on Valhalla, and we will relay any important discoveries or observations we find to everyone. Finally, Hope and Noel will descend to Gran Pulse in search of the deity Pulse. Any objections?"

"Dare we talk about Director Estheim and Dr. Haussen's misconduct?" asked the Lieutenant. To everyone's surprise — including Noel's — the Colonel was next to speak.

"Delay it until when everything's over. We'd only be giving into Gregor's demands if we force the Director to step down." Noel was silently glad that the Colonel had not singled out Hope's case, as Gregor's demands had nothing to do with Hope. The Colonel could have easily used Hope's misconduct as a reason to not allow him to descend to Gran Pulse; for some reason, the Colonel spoke nothing of it.

"I'm flattered," said the Director, "but that aside, any other objections?"

When no one in the room spoke, Dr. Haussen loudly clapped her hands together once.

"Great. Adjourned."

* * *

><p>Though the meeting had ended early that morning, Hope and Noel did not depart until a few hours after lunch. During that time, each of them had his own tasks to attend to; Hope knew little of Noel's agenda, and the only thing he'd heard was Noel's muttering something about resignation, and while Noel could really only mean that in one way Hope just assumed he'd heard wrong and let the man be.<p>

Immediately following the strategy briefing, Hope followed Ellen and the other scientists to her office. His initial intention was to fetch a comm device, but on a whim he had asked her for any information on the remaining Pulse fal'Cie, and as if she'd merely been waiting for him to ask Ellen retrieved a file from one of the numerous shelves in her office.

"That should tell you the names and habitats of the known fal'Cie on Gran Pulse," said the Director. She pulled out one particular paper from the file and handed it to Hope. "It's a very small list, and you might be able to commit it to memory, but feel free to take that with you if you need to. I have it saved on file."

"Thanks…." Ellen then proceeded to summarize the list for him, and as Hope listened to her words he realized that he had already met a great number of them in his travels as a l'Cie. He knew of Atomos, whom he'd run into in the Mah'habara, and he'd also had a brief encounter with Bismarck, who dwelled in the Sulyya Springs. Then there was Titan, whose trials the six l'Cie had taken on and had overcome many years ago. There were also the two Pulse fal'Cie Hope's party had defeated during their journey, though their names escaped Ellen's list. As it turned out, the only fal'Cie Ellen mentioned that Hope _hadn't _seen before was Fenrir; he knew about Fenrir from books, but he'd been asleep in the time capsule when Fenrir had darkened the sky.

"Should be a cinch for you then!" exclaimed the Director in her cheery voice. However, Hope knew that the hardest part wouldn't be finding the fal'Cie but holding conversation with them. "Oh, I forgot to tell you! Because of the nature of your trip, you've been given clearance to go above ground before you depart. Feel free to grab anything you need from home, yeah? — and don't forget to page us with the comm device if you ever need anything! It's hyper-encrypted, and the signal should reach wherever you are on Pulse. You'll hear from us if we discover anything new!"

_Home…. _

"Yeah… thanks." After bidding her goodbye, Hope moved onto his next task: Resupplying. He stopped by the food bank first, and he picked up several packages of food for both Noel and himself. It was there that he was made aware of just how short on time they were; though the food bank's supplies had only been projected to last a week, their supply was presently depleted to about half, and while this was still good news there was no guarantee that everything would be resolved before the supplies ran out.

As Hope slipped the rations into his utility belt, he tried to not view the food supply situation as a time limit. But dread and uncertainty filled him the moment he thought about his next destination. Because of the mandatory evacuation, it had been a while since Hope was last home — since Valhalla tore up the sky, actually — and it was certainly the first time Hope had been above the surface when it wasn't nighttime. That the air wasn't stuffy was probably Hope's only clue in being able to tell that he wasn't underground; above the ground, it was still as dark as ever, even though it should've been close to lunchtime, and it was almost as if the air around him was tinted a slight green. But Hope chose to ignore all of these irregularities as he walked home.

But could he even call this house his home? It was difficult enough calling this era their home. There was nothing waiting for him there, no one but a sleeping Serah…. He had barely rested there, and he had no family left. Hope only had friends — and of these, only Noel and Sazh were not in crystal stasis or dead. In this sense, Hope couldn't possibly call that house his home.

His intentions were simple, to resupply his utility belt, but it was hard to enter his house and to not think about the pink-haired girl whom they had put to rest there. At first, Hope intended on ignoring Serah's presence altogether, because he knew seeing her would dampen his spirits. But once he was in the same room as her, Hope found it difficult to keep his back turned against her. He hadn't even properly said goodbye to her; he had been too scared that he would never want to leave her. He hadn't done much yet to save the world, but he had certainly made progress, and he was about to embark on a seemingly impossible task to save his friends.

It wasn't a matter of whether he'd succeed or not. Serah needed to know how far they had come. Facing her took a lot of nerve, but after Hope finished resupplying his utility belt he found the strength to turn around. Upon his bed was Serah, just as they'd left her, though she was now resting beneath his blankets. Though the sight of her still weighed heavily upon his heart, Hope was able to smile faintly; it was easier for Hope to see her like this, because she appeared to be sleeping and not in a crueler state, and she seemed more peaceful in this position. Hope figured this had been Noel's doing, a last gift before the brunet had been forced to part ways with her.

"H-Hey S-Serah," croaked Hope. He kneeled next to his bed and looked down upon Serah's form with a grim expression. Hope wasn't sure if it was a trick of the eye, but he could swear that Serah was still breathing. He knew it couldn't be true, though; he forced himself to focus his gaze upon her face instead. "Told you I'd be back. Sorry I haven't saved the world or anything yet."

There was a wetness that was beginning to form in the corner of his eyes. Though Hope spoke slowly, he struggled onward. "I hope you're sleeping peacefully, and I know you're always watching over us, so I just wanted to say… don't worry about us, okay? We'll save everyone — I promise.

"Did I tell you? I talked to Vanille the other day. Even though we saved her statue from the pillar, she's still in crystal stasis. She got separated from Fang, so she must be really lonely now… I know you know that feeling. We'll save them both soon, count on it. But Vanille and I… we talked about a lot of things. I'm not sure if you know, but we found Snow… he's in crystal stasis too."

Hope paused, as if allowing Serah the opportunity to react — but she gave no reaction. Unable to take the silence that followed, Hope continued in a softer voice. "Vanille and I talked about how to save everyone. I'm going to find Pulse. Etro saved us from our fate, didn't she? — I think Pulse can help us too. It's a bit of a risk, because he was the reason we became l'Cie to begin with. But if it means saving the others, I'm willing to take that risk.

"Noel's going to come with me. I don't think he fully agrees with what I'm about to do, but he's promised himself to keep me safe. He really misses you, Serah… and so do I."

That was it. He could not bear to look at her any longer; Hope stood up and turned away from her, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. It wasn't fair. Serah had done nothing. She did not deserve her fate — yet her life had been forcefully taken away from her. She did not have the chance to live in the world she had worked so hard to save, even if it had worsened after her passing.

Hope had already promised Vanille he would save everyone. But for Serah's sake — Serah, the only one of his friends to have truly died in her pursuit for a better future — Hope knew he could not fail. He gave her his last utterances of a better future, promising her the good health of her friends, her fiancé and her sister, before hurriedly leaving her behind for a second time. He knew that if he lingered any longer he would lose himself in his own sorrow and regret.

* * *

><p>Hope was noticeably despondent when Noel was reunited with him. Noel couldn't quite put his finger on it; he wasn't sure what Hope had done in the several hours they'd been apart, though a part of him didn't think to ask. Perhaps reality had hit Hope again? — regardless, to make up for what Noel could not offer in words, he offered to Hope his company, and though Hope did not show it Noel could tell it helped him cheer up, even if only a little.<p>

They departed on a quieter note. Sazh was the pilot charged in flying them to the surface; with the Director back at headquarters, Dajh had been left with his usual babysitter and thus did not accompany them. Noel wasn't really sure why, but for the duration of the flight the older man took it upon himself to give them both words of wisdom; while Sazh had good intentions, Noel found most of them to be rather commonsensical.

"Just don't get yourselves killed," were Sazh's last words, and it was on that note that they parted ways. Noel watched Sazh's airship fly off before taking a look at their surroundings. Truthfully the atmosphere as a whole was depressing; it was almost like a Valhalla on Gran Pulse, ignoring the fact that that was exactly what it was. The skies were gloomy and green-tinted, and there was something about the silence surrounding them that fostered unsettling eeriness.

"Hey, Hope? Where exactly are we?" Though he had asked to break an uncomfortable silence, Noel actually didn't recognize where they were. He couldn't say he'd traveled here before, not during his journey with Serah….

"Taejin's Tower," said Hope, "or what's left of it, anyway. I don't really know when it collapsed or how high it used to stand. Actually, one of the fal'Cie of Gran Pulse used to live here, though we defeated it." Noel was surprised by these words. From Dr. Haussen's story, Noel had been under the impression that fal'Cie were nearly impossible to meet, let alone defeat. Yet it seemed the six l'Cie had done it years ago. Was there hope for them, then? Not that Hope was out to defeat a fal'Cie… but if one of them threatened him, to the death it would be.

"So, I assume we're not headed into the tower?"

Hope shook his head. "No. Bismarck is the closest fal'Cie from here, and it might be one of the easier fal'Cie to locate. Supposedly it's one of the more violent ones… Atomos is also nearby, but it spends its time digging tunnels in the Mah'habara. Might be harder to find, but it'll probably be easier to negotiate with."

"I see." Noel wasn't really sure where the Mah'habara was, but he nodded his head as if having comprehended. At the least, Noel knew the notion of approaching fal'Cie to begin with was dangerous in itself; he didn't need reminding of when they'd fought against the Proto fal'Cie, Adam. "So, where're we headed first?"

"I think Bismarck would be most time-effective," said Hope. There was a slightly apprehensive tone in Hope's voice, and Hope's facial expression only confirmed his hesitation. "That's not a problem, is it?"

Noel wanted to say that it was, that he would prefer they not chase after the more violent fal'Cie first. But Hope did have a point. "No, of course not. Makes sense, right? Since this Bismarck fellow is closer. Just be careful, Hope."

"I will. You'll protect me, won't you?"

"Of course." Because Noel wasn't sure how else to respond to Hope's question, the conversation between the pair thinned out. What sort of answer had Hope been expecting? — of _course_ he'd be there to protect him, wasn't that what he'd been saying all this time? And now that he no longer had any obligations to the military, now that he was fully employed as Hope's unofficial bodyguard, Noel would make sure to protect Hope. Even if Serah and Yeul had both passed for reasons out of his control, Noel would not let it happen again.

They made for Bismarck by foot. For Noel, it was quite the sight, even if Noel couldn't actually see most of the scenery. He hadn't really explored this part of Gran Pulse before — he'd been to Oerba and he'd been to the Archylte Steppe, but nowhere in between. As they walked, Noel listened to Hope chronicle his own journeys as a l'Cie, how they had blindly searched the continent for answers. Noel was again reminded how little he knew about Hope's past; Sazh had enlightened him with a bit of Hope's history, but it wasn't much. At best, Noel only knew of Hope's relationships with the other l'Cie — except Fang, he didn't really know much about Hope and Fang — and his mother, to whom he'd been close and whose death had ultimately shaped Hope into the person he was now, for better or for worse.

Noel had never been a l'Cie, so he could only sympathize with Hope. But having been in the company of Serah, Snow and now Hope, Noel knew enough. He had witnessed Serah's suffering when she'd discovered Snow had become a l'Cie once again. He had seen Hope's agony over the crystallized statues of his friends. If there was one thing Noel knew, it was that he couldn't allow Hope or himself to become l'Cie.

Noel tried communicating this to Hope. He tried to make Hope promise that, despite his current goals of chasing after fal'Cie, Hope would not resort to being turned into a l'Cie like Snow had. It killed him, however, that Hope could not make the promise.

"I'm not after that," was all Hope said. And when Noel tried getting Hope to make the promise again, Hope only said, "I'll try not to."

Overall, the journey took a little under half a day. With the skies above them unchanging, their only indication of time was Hope's watch, and apparently they had arrived at the Sulyya Springs close to midnight. By Noel's urging, they did not immediately pursue Bismarck and instead made camp just outside the perimeters of the spring. Even if there was no visual distinction between night and day, Noel insisted that Hope first rest up, and he was relieved that Hope did not put up much resistance.

But Noel was running out of excuses to put off the encounter. By the next morning, as defined by Hope's watch, he could no longer steer Hope away from meeting with the fal'Cie.

It had been strange at first, and if he hadn't known the task at hand Noel would have never suspected what was to come. Hope had led him to the heart of the springs — which overall appeared to be a peaceful place, if it weren't for the gloom and the lack of sounds of wildlife. Now that meeting Bismarck was imminent, it occurred to Noel that he had no idea how Hope intended on finding Bismarck — or what Bismarck even looked like, for his grandmother's stories never really had much to do with the fal'Cie of Gran Pulse — but when he voiced these thoughts to Hope his response had been to remain quiet, as if the very beast were lurking nearby.

"It's said… if the waters are disturbed, the trespasser will be mercilessly eliminated."

"Mercilessly eliminated, huh?" said Noel. "No swimming, then?" But Hope did not respond to Noel's joke; the silver-haired man searched the ground until he spotted a small pebble, and he bent over to pick it up. But before Hope could toss it into the water, Noel grabbed hold of his arm, effectively holding him back. His reasoning was confirmed as a confused Hope turned to him, and there was an unrecognizable something in Hope's eyes as their gazes met. Was it fright? There was something different about Hope, something Noel could not bring himself to mention out loud — and he himself wasn't quite sure of that something, not just yet.

In Noel's lack of action, Hope shook his arm free from Noel's hold. Their eyes met again, and though Hope offered him a smile, it was uneasy at best and most certainly not reassuring.

"Trust me," said Hope. Though it was hard to trust Hope after having seen the fear and uncertainty in his eyes, Noel did trust him. He held his peace as Hope skipped the rock into the water, and as he watched the rock go, he counted the number of skips within his head.

_One, two, three_ —

Where the fourth jump should've been was a giant disturbance in the water: a large entity had surfaced. Noel and Hope shielded themselves from the splash, but it was only after the mist from the splash had subsided that they were met with what Noel could only assume was Bismarck. As he was unable to closely look at the fal'Cie more closely, Noel could only describe Bismarck as an oversized aquatic animal, possibly resembling that of a large fish or whale — but indeed Bismarck was intimidating in appearance, and Noel could feel the hairs on his neck standing just by staring at Bismarck.

Was Hope going to try and talk to the thing? — Noel had a feeling it wasn't going to listen. His instinct was to reach for his swords, but before he could manage it Hope threw an arm before him, signaling Noel not to take action.

There was a silence that fell between them, and for a moment Noel wondered if they were even conversing at all. He had never really talked to a fal'Cie — Adam didn't count, and even Adam hadn't been much of a talker — but he didn't want to rule out the possibility that fal'Cie might've had different means of communicating. But between Hope and Bismarck, Noel had no clue if either was making progress in reaching some sort of middle ground, preferably one that had Hope's demands met….

He turned again to Hope, whose eyes were now closed shut. Maybe…?

But Noel had held his hopes too high. No more than a minute could have passed before Bismarck dove back into the water, and the springs that had once been devoid of sounds of life, yet alone life itself, were now quickly filling with monsters that Noel was sure had not been there before….

"We should go," Noel hissed tersely, but as he turned he found an unresponsive Hope.

"…Hope?" It was only after shaking the man by the shoulder that Hope understood Noel's plight, and though he nodded his head stiffly in his reluctance it was an agreement nevertheless. Noel prepared to escape the way they had entered, but before he could run off Hope grabbed him by the arm and nodded toward a different exit opposite of Noel's proposed escape route.

"Atomos," he said hurriedly, and Noel understood. The two were successfully able to make their escape from Bismarck, though their exit had not been an easy one. Several Orebons and several more Ceratosaurs had blocked their path, though they were enemies both men could easily dispose of; the combined efforts of Hope's boomerang and an Aeroga from Noel was enough to sweep the monsters off their feet, giving them both ample time to flee the springs.

A part of Noel did wonder why the fal'Cie hadn't pursued them personally, though he could not spare the breath or the effort to inquire. They did not stop running until they reached a clearing — a dead end, seemingly. The only good part about their situation was that they were no longer being pursued; it appeared that their only way out was the way they had entered, and Noel did not particularly want to face those monsters so soon. There was also the option of calling the airship, but would it be able to make a descent here…?

Before he could properly think on their next plan of action, he found himself being dragged further — which was strange at first, since Noel thought they'd reached a dead end, but as he looked onward he realized there was still what appeared to be a large boulder with orange spikes.

"Hope?"

"Just get in." What happened thereafter, Noel wasn't so sure himself. One moment he was being forced inside the orange-spiked boulder, not that he'd thought it to even be possible; the next, he was being pushed into a low-ceiling tunnel that resembled an underground maze of sorts. But Noel hadn't had time to inquire — just as the pair stepped out, the boulder began to roll away.

"Atomos, w-wait, come back!" Hope yelled, but the fal'Cie would not listen.

_That was Atomos?_

Neither man spoke as the sounds of Atomos's digging grew distant, and it was only when they were yet again met with silence that Hope sank to his knees. In that moment, Noel understood what he'd seen in Hope earlier:

Hope was breaking.

It hadn't been as obvious before, not when he'd restrained Hope from tossing the rock into the water and from rousing Bismarck. But now, Noel couldn't be surer of anything else. Even if Hope's resolve had not yet faltered, Hope himself was beginning to break. The Hope Noel had come to know was composed and was sure of the extent of his actions. The Hope that now stood before him, though he was still driven by the same ideals, was a product of desperation. He was experimental, impulsive and desperate. Hope was closer and closer approaching a dream he had spent his whole life chasing after, and as Noel now looked into Hope's eyes he found himself becoming more and more scared of what Hope might resort to just to see those dreams realized.

But how to communicate to Hope these fears? Noel had never been the greatest with words — they tended to spew out when he did not mean for them to. Despite Noel's hesitance in Hope's actions, Noel really did want to help Hope: Noel had no intention of changing Hope's mind. He knew Hope wouldn't be convinced otherwise, just as how he wouldn't easily step down from his own promises in keeping Hope safe. He knew Hope had known of the difficulty and near impossibility of the task they'd set out to accomplish, and he'd seen in Hope's eyes just how determined Hope was in saving his friends from their crystal fate. But ideas were always subject to change, and putting forth plans was always easier than carrying them out.

As he continued to watch Hope's frustration swell internally, as he continued to watch Hope blame and curse at himself, Noel knew now more than ever that Hope could not do it alone. He only wanted to reach out to him, before Hope's desperation drove him to the edge, to where Noel would no longer be able to save him.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Posted: <strong>12 May 2012**  
>Last Edited: <strong>17 May 2012

_Upcoming: Hope takes a leaf from Sazh's book. _


	9. An Unprecedented Death March

_In the previous episode, Noel witnesses the beginning of the unraveling of Hope's character. When Hope takes on pressure from the Academy for his decision in seeking out the deity Pulse, it is Noel who comes to his defense — but even that isn't enough to stop desperation from entering Hope's heart. With two failed attempts already under their belts, Noel struggles in keeping Hope's morale up, and Noel continues to overcompensate for the lives he's previously failed to protect. Meanwhile, Hope realizes that it really is him against the world…._

* * *

><p><strong>Crystal Fortresses<br>**_Two men seeking to save the future, driven by the burdens of their past: Perhaps they had more in common than Hope once thought._

Episode 9: An Unprecedented Death March

* * *

><p>Noel and Hope did not leave the underground labyrinth of tunnels — or the Mah'habara Subterra, as Hope later called them — for quite some time. The day was still young, and Noel wanted to give Hope some time to himself, so he ignored all of Hope's demands in chasing after Atomos at first; Hope did not find Noel's stubbornness very amusing, and he was about ready to pursue Atomos himself, with or without Noel. It was only after Noel pointed out they would sooner meet Atomos in this very spot than catch up with a fal'Cie who was digging tunnels faster than they could run that Hope was convinced otherwise.<p>

Noel still wasn't sure what to say to Hope. He didn't want to discourage him, yet he didn't want Hope to do anything stupid out of desperation. He remembered the strategy briefing, how few people had supported him. He didn't want to give Hope the impression that he was no longer on his side — the last thing Noel wanted was for Hope to feel like he was in this alone.

He turned to Hope, who had readjusted himself from his kneeling position and was now sitting on the fresh soil. Most of his frustration had left him, and with it most of his energy; if anything, Hope looked tired. Hope's countenance gave the impression he wasn't in good spirits, and the determination that had been in his eyes that day they'd talked to each other in the empty Academy room was no longer there. It killed Noel that he couldn't find something appropriate to say to him.

Hope wouldn't give up so easily, that much Noel knew. Noel just needed to reassure him somehow — and while Noel initially intended on giving Hope his space, after half an hour of silence Noel found himself unable to keep quiet any longer. If only he could read Hope's mind, if only he had a way of knowing what Hope was thinking.

Hope was hugging his legs to his body, with his chin resting upon his knees, and though Hope did not speak Noel knew him well enough to know that the man had very likely been entertaining inner dialogue the entire time. There was only one way Noel could think to break the silence.

"How're you doing?"

Hope rolled his eyes. "Me? Oh, I'm just great."

Noel already wasn't liking the sarcasm in his voice. However, Hope seemed to catch the snark in his response, and after heaving a long and frustrated sigh he gave Noel his apology.

"Noel, I'm sorry…."

"It's okay." And it really was, Noel understood. But Hope would not have it.

"No really, I am. I'm just… angry at myself."

Noel didn't find this surprising. He suspected Hope had been taking it out on himself. In fact, Noel was willing to bet that he had not given himself one shred of self-praise in the half hour spent in silence.

"Angry at yourself?"

Hope nodded. "I guess it's too much to ask, right? To save the world _and_ save everyone? When we saved Cocoon, Vanille and Fang had to sacrifice themselves to keep Cocoon from crashing. When we defeated Caius and prevented him from interfering with the levitation of the new Cocoon, we lost Serah and Light. And now… so far we've lost Snow, and just when I've finally come up with a way to decrystallize everyone, it ends up being nearly impossible to carry out.

"Is fate just messing with me? _— _and don't tell me, Noel, I know. I knew from the start it wouldn't be easy." Hope was trembling again, and though Noel wanted to reach out and hug him, Noel was immobilized and could only continue to listen. "It's just like wandering around Gran Pulse as a l'Cie all over again. Just… this time we're not trying to save just our lives, but the whole world's, including our friends'. Is fate trying to tell me that I can't save both, that I have to choose between the world and my friends?"

"Hope…." Noel knew he needed to choose his words wisely. If he misspoke… Noel didn't want to think about what would happen if Hope didn't get back on his feet. "Hope, it's true. What you're asking for is a really tall order. I guess… well, that doesn't mean it's impossible, right? I don't think fate's messing with you. I think it's testing you, if you've got the willpower to fight for what you believe in."

"I doubt I passed, then."

"I think you'd pass with flying colors, if you just hang in there," said Noel. "And hey, I'll be right here beside you. So hang in there, okay?"

To be honest, half of what Noel said had been improvisation, and a part of him was afraid that he would slip up and say something wrong. In fact, Noel had almost said something along the lines of _I guess, being an ex-l'Cie, chasing after the impossible has always been right up your alley_, but he caught himself, and he was glad he had restrained himself.

He was even more relieved to see Hope smile.

"Thanks Noel…." Feeling accomplished that he had managed to reassure Hope and scared that he might say something to ruin the moment, Noel fell into a momentary silence — and when the pair did speak again, they reached a compromise: They would wander for a maximum of one day before moving on and setting their sights upon a different fal'Cie. Hope wanted to linger longer, but Noel knew Hope could not deny the argument that they were short on time, and true to his intuition Hope's mind was swayed.

So, after a moment's rest, the two began to traverse the Mah'habara Subterra in search of the ever elusive Atomos. Noel didn't expect them to have another run-in with Atomos, and even if they did Noel didn't expect it to stop for them. Per his expectation, by the end of the day their search remained fruitless. Truthfully told, they spent more time avoiding encounters with random Pulse Automata than actively seeking out Atomos, and Noel was gradually becoming more and more convinced that their continued search was neither productive nor reasonable.

Hope seemed to agree when Noel had told him these thoughts, though he admitted this with a defeated sigh, as if he did not want to accept that they needed to move on.

"Fal'Cie don't concern themselves with human affairs," said Hope. "I knew that coming in… it's still frustrating, though. I wish Vanille told me which fal'Cie Snow had gone to."

"That'd be too easy," said Noel grimly. He was glad that Hope still held a sense of realism, despite his desperation. Perhaps Hope had spent the last few hours realizing it for himself, after having wandered around and having not found any signs of Atomos's presence.

Noel had unofficially and temporarily taken over leading their search efforts, so after agreeing that remaining in the Mah'habara would be unproductive, Noel said, "So, we'll rest up tonight and head out tomorrow, sound good?"

"Yeah, sounds good. We only have two fal'Cie left, and I know where we might be able to find one of the fal'Cie."

"_Might_?" asked Noel. He didn't like the sound of Hope's uncertainty. If they went there and no fal'Cie was there, they would only have wasted more time.

Hope then proceeded to explain how, after the six l'Cie had overcome Titan's trials, Titan had left the Faultwarrens. "I have a feeling we'll still find Titan there," concluded Hope. "Besides, it's better than blindly searching for Fenrir — like headless Chocobos, did the Colonel say?"

"Yep," said Noel bitterly. He didn't really have much reason to like the Colonel. "Right, so the Faultwarrens. How far?"

"…several days?" By the tone in Hope's voice, Noel suspected Hope feared he would not approve of the response. "Should we call for an airship?"

"We'll see tomorrow." Noel knew taking an airship would save them much time, but the Colonel had told them he would not spare them any help. They needed a good reason — and considering that they weren't totally sure if Titan would be there, Noel had a feeling the Colonel would not approve. "Who knows, Hope? — we might run into Atomos tomorrow on our way out. Just don't worry about it for tonight, okay?"

"Okay," said Hope, and the subject was dropped. Noel took on his own advice of not thinking about the road ahead, so he began to share with Hope the stories his grandmother had passed onto him as a child, or at least the ones he could still remember. In turn, Hope shared several stories about his own childhood. Noel would never have pinned Hope to have been the mischievous type, but apparently Hope and his friends had deviated from their tour group and fiddled with the weather controls in the Sunleth Waterscape; the result had been Hope catching a high fever, and he had been sent to the emergency room after the conclusion of their excursion.

"I was a different person back then," admitted Hope with a small laugh, and in the wake of his reminiscence a smile lingered upon his face. Noel didn't need to be told twice what Hope had meant; from his time spent with Serah and from Sazh's stories, he knew how Hope's life had changed after he'd been victimized by the Purge.

Not wanting Hope to be troubled by past memories, Noel then changed the subject, and he began to recount some of the more comical happenings of his travels with Serah — namely, their abuse of Mog. Noel couldn't tell if Hope was amused or horrified at their shamelessness in throwing Mog at places they otherwise could not reach.

"You're terrible," said Hope, and Noel couldn't agree more. For a moment he wondered if all their antics had been the reason for Mog's sleep — physical strain, maybe? — but the timing had been too perfect, and Noel doubted that gravity could put strain on creatures that levitated… well, hopefully.

At first Noel felt guilty when Hope confessed that he didn't have many funny stories of his own to tell, but he did manage to get Hope to talk about a playful moment he'd shared with Vanille. Noel found it cute — considering Hope had been fourteen then — and he would never have thought Hope to have been the teasing type, either.

"Would you say the same about my smile?" Noel teased, with the intention of cheering Hope up, and he was both surprised and pleased when Hope nodded.

"Well, I think Vanille still wins. But it makes me happy when you smile too, Noel."

Second place to a childhood friend. Noel supposed that wasn't so bad.

* * *

><p>Hope returned to his usual vigor by the time morning came round. It was almost as if the previous day had not happened at all, to the point where Noel couldn't even tell if Hope had really recovered or if he had just become better at hiding it; Noel, personally, hoped it was the former. Hope didn't even show signs of disappointment when they'd exited the Mah'habara without having run into Atomos.<p>

While they were making their way out to the Archylte Steppe, Noel and Hope had discussed the details for a more formal plan of action. The agreement they came to was that they would wait until they were properly above ground, when their comm device regained its signal, before calling for an airship to take them to the Faultwarrens. Noel had shared with Hope his initial hesitation, but he could not deny that traveling by airship would save them a lot of time; he was reassured in the decision after Hope reminded him that most of the Academy was supporting them, which meant two of the three important persons, and that they would likely not run into the problem at all.

"If anything, we'll ask for Sazh," said Hope, and Noel was sold. Perhaps everything would've gone according to plan as Noel had been assured, but before they were given the chance the sounds of airships soaring above filled the air.

"What's…?" but the question died in the back of Noel's throat. There were an abnormal number of airships flying overhead, all seemingly headed toward the same destination. Where specifically they were headed, Noel could not tell, as Gran Pulse's landscape was currently obstructing their view….

"They're closing the net…" mumbled Hope, but he dashed away before Noel had the chance to ask. Noel presumed Hope had run off to get a better view, but his mind lingered upon Hope's last words.

_Closing the net?_

He did not think on it too seriously, though. He chased after Hope, not wanting to let him out of his sight, and only when he could spare a glance did Noel turn to the sky.

The airships were not headed toward Bhunivelze; on the contrary, they were headed in a direction opposite of Bhunivelze. Rather, the skyfleet seemed to be heading toward a much smaller entity in the sky, though Noel couldn't quite place his finger on its name despite its familiar shape. He was sure he'd seen it in the sky before, but it wasn't until he caught up to Hope that his suspicions were confirmed.

"The Thirteenth Ark." It looked much smaller from Gran Pulse than it had from Academia, but there was no denying that Hope had correctly identified the airborne fortress. But why was the skyfleet headed there? Had the Academy discovered something?

"Noel," began Hope, after Noel had shared to him these thoughts, "those aren't… they're not the Academy's ships."

It took Noel a moment to register the implication behind Hope's words.

"The Anti-Academy Terrorist group?"

Hope nodded. There was a new something in Hope's expression, though Noel couldn't tell if it was excitement or urgency. "Noel, listen, there's something I need to — "

But another airship zoomed over their heads before Hope was given the chance to finish his sentence. It flew much lower in altitude than the others had, low enough that Noel feared they had been spotted; Noel's fear only took flight after the airship had passed, when it appeared to be slowing down and was angling itself to turn around.

"It's dangerous here," Noel said hurriedly. "We need to get out of here." This was easier said than done, however, as there weren't many hiding spots available for their use in the Archylte Steppe. It was plains as far as the eye could see; their best bet was to jump into the occasional trench, though they were still sparse and hard to come by.

After about an hour of fleeing by foot, when Noel was sure they were properly out of sight, he turned to Hope and urged him to continue what he'd been trying to say. Apparently, in Hope's perusal of mythological texts, he had stumbled upon a passage pertaining to the Thirteenth Ark — namely, that it would serve as the 'Salvation for all of Pulse's children,' among other things.

"I wouldn't exactly call it a stronghold," said Noel. He spoke quietly and guardedly, as if expecting the presence of spies or other undesirables nearby. "Well, it's a stronghold, but if the enemy's got control over it, wouldn't it be more of a prison?"

"I was thinking that was where we'd be making our last stand," said Hope. As he continued to speak, Noel realized it was definitely excitement, not urgency, that Noel had noticed in Hope earlier "Noel, you think it's a coincidence that the Ambassadors are headed over there? I mean, if the Ambassadors end up taking control over it, we'd definitely be having some kind of fight there."

"I guess…." But Noel was not convinced. Wouldn't their 'last stand' be against Pulse, or Lindzei, or even Bhunivelze himself? Even if the Ambassadors proved themselves to be a serious threat, even if Noel begrudgingly agreed with the Colonel in that the terrorists were a more tangible threat, Noel still couldn't prioritize the Ambassadors over the three deities. Besides, there was also the possibility that the terrorist group had also done their research, that they were headed to the Thirteenth Ark knowing that the Academy — or at least, Hope — had vested interests there.

A trap.

"Hope, let's focus on the current task for now, okay?" He didn't want to discourage Hope, because Noel knew Hope needed the motivation. But it was true. Their current task was to find Titan. They couldn't afford to get distracted each time something new came up. If anything, they needed to look at the sightings of Ambassador airships as a reminder of how little sand was left in the hourglass, that they truly were running out of time.

When Noel expressed this to Hope, he was relieved to find that Hope was in agreement with him; Noel had expected him to agree, since Titan directly concerned the well-being of Snow, Vanille and Fang — and maybe even Light. He wasn't sure if Hope would choose his friends over the world, but so long as he had his say and so long as the world still had a fighting chance, Noel knew whom Hope would pick. But just how much longer did they have before Hope would unconditionally have to pick one over the other? — Noel hoped it wouldn't be soon.

"Anyway," said Noel, though he was speaking mostly to distract his own thoughts, "I think it's a little too risky to call for an airship. The skies are being patrolled, and we have no idea what sort of activity those terrorists are up to. It's been a few days since Port Dexum, and I'm pretty sure they've been reunited with that Gregor guy by now. I hate to say it, but our safest bet may be to make it by foot."

Noel turned to face Hope. He seemed alright, if not a bit shaken from having been on the run for the past hour, and Noel was sure Hope was still running by all the different possibilities in his head. He couldn't deny that he was just a bit curious of Hope's train of thought, but they really did need to get to Titan….

"I understand," said Hope after some time. "Just gimme a minute."

Noel nodded. Physical exhaustion was just as large an evil as mental exhaustion. So, he allowed himself to rest against the wall of the trench, and he regarded Hope with a gentle countenance as he allowed Hope a minute to himself.

There were many things Noel had come to expect from Hope lately, having spent a lot of time in his presence, but he had not seen Hope's next words coming.

"Noel? Cheer me up?"

At first, Noel didn't know what to say. He wasn't sure if there was even anything that needed to be said. Sure, it could've been an honest request, and Noel was sure it probably was one. But Noel also suspected that Hope had caught on to what he was doing, that he knew Noel was making conscious efforts in keeping Hope's spirits up.

He smiled at the thought. Perhaps Hope had also come to expect a lot from him. Without further hesitation, Noel kicked himself off the wall and approached the silver-haired man, taking Hope into his embrace.

"Certainly."

* * *

><p>Thereafter their progress was slow but steady. While the Ark-bound stream of airships had subsided, there was still the occasional airship which would idly patrol the skies, so Noel continued to take caution as he led Hope across the plains. As they traversed the steppe, Noel wondered what actions the Academy's military had been taking over the past few days, more specifically if they too were aware of the Ambassadors' interest in the Thirteenth Ark. It wasn't until the end of another day that Hope remembered they could use his comm device to find out — and it was a good thing Hope was reminded of the thought, as apparently the Academy had not been aware.<p>

Their radio transmission with the Academy ended on the note of Vahalla, with Dr. Haussen's "No new developments" as the last words of the conversation. Noel was glad only the Director had been on the line; there had only been so few ways for him to console Hope as he had listened to him report to her his failures; Noel didn't even want to think about what sort of responses the Colonel would have given in her stead.

And what of the Lieutenant? — Lieutenant Strike was a calmer man, as Dr. Haussen had once told him, and he was seemingly only provoked when Noel showed an exuberance in disrespect toward the Colonel; he supposed the Lieutenant would have also taken a conversation with Hope peacefully. The Lieutenant hadn't even been angry when Noel had walked into his office to inform him of his resignation; at most, he reminded Noel that he had been more of a volunteer to begin with and that soldiers couldn't normally 'resign,' so while other soldiers couldn't quit because of their contracts, Noel was granted his leave.

At any rate, Noel was just glad his superior had been accepting of his decision, though the Lieutenant didn't sound the least bit surprised when Noel told him his reasoning was to be able to protect Hope on a full-time basis; if anything, the argument only further convinced the Lieutenant. So, because of that man's compassion, Noel was now able to protect Hope and enjoy his presence fully.

Presently, that apparently meant attempting to sing over dinner.

"I can't sing," Hope said with a laugh, shaking his head as he handed Noel his portion for the night's meal. "Trust me. You don't want to hear me sing."

"Can you hum?" asked Noel. "As a kid, I was always told that humming helps cheer you up. 'Course, you have to be singing the right tune."

Hope laughed. "Can't hum either," said Hope. Then, with a more serious tone, he added, "Besides, you do a good job."

Noel didn't know what to say to that. He could only smile.

* * *

><p>The second day of travel proved more difficult than the first. Because of the gloom about them and because of the terrain, Noel and Hope were met with and forced to traverse in near darkness. To make matters worse, they had crossed paths with a scouting party, and victory was only secured as a result of Noel's hunter instincts. Even with low visibility, his quick reflexes allowed him to strike before the men of the scout party could even register whom they had chanced upon.<p>

The only good that had come out of the encounter was a slick exchange in equipment. Included in the package was a strange pair of eyewear: goggles that allowed the user to see more clearly in light-deficient areas. Noel supposed such an invention was bound to exist (he thought of the eclipse in the Yaschas Massif, forgetting in the moment that that timeline no longer existed), and Noel was not at all surprised that the Pulse-dwelling terrorist groups were equipped with such handy devices.

After acquiring the goggles, Noel allowed their pace to quicken slightly, though they were still moving slowly. According to Hope's initial projection, Noel was sure they should have already arrived, though as he wasn't very familiar with any of the locations in which the Gran Pulse fal'Cie made their residence, Noel couldn't say for sure.

Thankfully, after several hours, the pair stumbled upon a Chocobo feeding near the water, and Noel unabashedly climbed on its back and helped Hope aboard. Traveling on a Chocobo appeared much less conspicuous from patrol ships overhead, and though the bird had the same issue with visibility as they'd had prior to obtaining the goggles, they were still moving faster than before. So, Noel allowed Hope to be the Chocobos eyes, and from his position behind Hope he guided the bird as Hope saw fit.

In time they reached the end of the plains, and at that time Hope assured him the journey would only be a few more hours. A part of Noel acknowledged that the both of them aboard a single Chocobo was a burden for the bird, but he only understood to what extent when the bird underestimated its attempt in jumping up onto a ledge; consequently they nearly fell off from the bird's inability to make the jump. Despite how tedious it was, Noel decidedly climbed off and urged Hope to take the bird first.

"But what if it runs off?" asked Hope in opposition. "What if it doesn't come back for you?"

"Then at least you'd have made it. You're the one who needs to see Titan, right?" But Noel said this only to appease Hope. He had no intention of letting Hope on his own; thankfully the Chocobo seemed to understand these intentions and did not leave him on the plains below.

After traversing a narrow passage, they arrived at some ruins. To Noel's surprise, Hope had the bird stop there, as if they'd already reached their destination.

"Let's rest the night," said Hope. That Hope was suggesting they not rush in to meet with the fal'Cie took Noel by surprise, but he wasn't complaining; later, Noel learned that Hope's reasoning was not only to "rest up in case we have to fight" but was also because 'you would've said the same thing anyway.'

Hope was learning, and Noel liked it. Hope was beginning to gain control over himself again, no longer yielding so easily to his uneasiness. Yet his anxiety did not leave him, and on the contrary it was surfacing more visibly tonight than ever before. Noel knew, just as well as Hope did, how important this meeting with Titan would be. They had already wasted days coming here. Time was short. Terrorists were on the move. Valhalla was still threatening to consume the world. If they had no luck with Titan, they would either have to double back to Atomos or Bismarck or start from scratch in finding Fenrir, and they had no leads whatsoever on the latter.

For Hope's sake, Noel needed the meeting with Titan to be a success. For his own sake, Noel needed to be ready to protect Hope in any situation that would arise.

That night, he didn't wait for Hope to make the request, and without a word he sidled over to Hope and took him into his arms. He felt Hope stiffen; it was a reaction characteristic of Hope, yet a reaction Noel had come to forget. It was a reminder of Hope's discomfort with physical closeness. But Noel couldn't bring himself to let go of Hope, not yet. Hope's physical presence was a reminder of his resolve, and holding him in his arms was his reassurance that he had not yet failed to protect him. But despite his determination, Noel knew he was still capable of failure. And he _had_ failed before.

Truthfully, that night it wasn't Hope whom he was trying to cheer up, but himself.

* * *

><p>Noel wondered how different everything would be if Caius had not forced Noel to impale him with his sword, if Caius had not forced him to kill the goddess. He wondered if Caius would still have attempted to destroy the world. He wondered if the world would be consumed in chaos. He wondered if he would be able to see Yeul's face again. Yeul, Serah and Lightning. He wondered if there would come a time he'd no longer get to see Hope's face, if saving the future really would mean forgetting about everyone he'd met on his journey.<p>

All of these inner musings and fears were embodied in a single dream. He pictured himself returning home with Caius after a hunt, basking in his friends' approving smiles as they applauded him for their success of the day. Yeul and Serah would rise, mindless chatter abandoned as they prepared the night's meal. Dajh would come running from somewhere, chanting as he awaited the scrumptious feast that was to come.

Then somehow Sazh, Snow and Lightning would return from scouting, telling everyone where it was safe and not safe to venture. Sazh would bend to Dajh's level, asking his son to go next door to call for Vanille and Fang, and the boy would run away eagerly. Serah would then saunter over to ask Noel if he'd made his move on _that guy_ yet, and Noel would deny knowing what she was going on about.

But before Noel could reunite with Vanille and Fang, he awoke. He remained unmoving for a moment, mind blank, only able to register Hope's back pressed against his own. And then it occurred to Noel how badly he longed for the world of his dream: A world in which everyone he had ever trusted lived together, at peace. In this, he realized Hope was not the only one chasing after impossible dreams.

Yet Noel found himself not wanting that future. Hope's dreams had become his own, he could not chase after the impossible. Yeul and Caius and Serah could never come back to them, he knew this. It reminded Noel of the dream he'd been immersed within before his encounter with Caius, when the gate in Academia 400 AF had led them straight into one of his traps. It was a desirable future Noel knew he couldn't live in; while he wasn't sure how he felt about his subconscious pinning Hope as someone he was pining over, it bothered him more that Hope had not existed in that world at all.

Was it a sign? Noel hoped not. But for the rest of the night, Noel couldn't shake away the thought.

* * *

><p>Morning. The skies gave no indication of morning, but it was morning all the same.<p>

Truth be told Noel was nervous. He had not gotten enough sleep; even if Hope hadn't forced him away the previous night, Noel's uncertainty had not left him. For all he knew, Titan might not show up at all, though a part of him wanted Titan to be there. Hope needed the closure, and they both needed one thing to go right; they both would not accept another failure. He was still scared of what might happen, yet Noel knew any further delay would only give more time for his apprehension to foster. It was a battle they needed to face.

"You ready?" Hope. It was no surprise that he was already up. Noel was sure Hope was just as determined as he was in yielding something productive from their imminent encounter with Titan.

"Yeah." After breaking camp, the two silently made for the Faultwarrens. It was a daunting hike, and the combination of the silence and the eerie darkness and the winding upward ascent only fueled their anxiousness.

Before them was a clearing, and Noel reasoned it was where Titan should've been standing, but Titan was not there to greet them. Was this what Hope meant when he said he only knew where Titan _might _be? What would they do now?

He turned to Hope, expecting him to be displeased with this turn of events. But Hope gave no reaction; he wordlessly sat down onto the ground, crossed his legs, and heaved a sigh.

"Hope…?"

"Now, we wait." Noel couldn't really question Hope's decision, and it was better than anything he could've come up with, so he didn't. In his uncertainty Noel sank to the earth also, making himself comfortable as he waited for Titan's arrival. But waiting only worsened the weighted feeling that was growing at the pit of his stomach. He was growing restless.

"Titan will be here," said Hope. Noel turned to Hope — was he smiling? "Trust me."

Hope had said those same words before Bismarck's appearance. Hope had told him to trust him, yet that encounter turned for the worse anyway. Was it a sign? Would the same happen here? Would they be able to run away if something happened again? Would they be able to fight back, would he —

"Noel."

He dismissed his thoughts and turned back to face him. The smile had vanished.

"Right. I trust you."

Though Hope gave him a questioning look, he accepted Noel's response. "Good," he said. "So cheer up." It was in that moment that Noel understood. It wasn't that Hope had caught onto his attempts in trying to cheer Hope up, though Noel still suspected that he had. Hope saw what Noel could not, not until the night before: Noel needed cheering up just as much as Hope had.

And then, Noel heard them: thundering footfalls.

Hope stood up, as did Noel. Noel reached for his blades, but once more Hope threw an arm before him, cautioning him against drawing his weapons.

"Titan will think we're hostile," Hope muttered before Noel could make a protest. "He won't fight us. Not directly."

_Not directly?_

He should've questioned Hope, but Noel didn't. Lately he was finding it difficult to argue against Hope, for he was scared what it might do to Hope if he felt Noel wasn't on his side. Noel knew, if only subconsciously, that he would be unable to keep Hope within reach if he kept blindly agreeing to his decisions, that there would be a time where Hope would make a choice that would leave Noel unable to protect him.

Reluctantly giving into Hope's request, Noel left his weapons sheathed and watched silently as Titan drew near. He was certainly larger than Atomos and Bismarck had been. Striking conversation with Titan now appeared quite the intimidating task, and that fear only grew when Titan had actually spoken to them.

_'You have come.'_

The voice boomed in his ears and echoed off the cliffs surrounding them. Though Titan was apparently speaking their tongue, and though he resembled more of a human than Atomos and Bismarck had, the encounter felt anything _but _human. Was this really what talking to a fal'Cie felt like? — Noel feared what a conversation with Pulse would be like.

_'You who has outlived his kin, you who has predated his ancestors. Life's cycle has passed with you, a cycle now threatened.'_

"A cycle now threatened?" echoed Hope. "You mean Valhalla?"

_'One of your kin has come before you, one who wishes to preserve life's cycle.'_

"One of our kin?" There was a tone of eagerness in Hope's voice that Noel didn't like…. "You mean Snow?"

_'He who challenged his fate has now succumbed to it. He has neither won nor lost.'_

"Stop speaking in riddles!"

Noel's eyes grew wide in understanding. Hope's desperation was resurfacing, and each time Hope got closer and closer to his lifelong goal, he would continue to lose a bit of his restraint….

Noel needed to be that restraint. Now more than ever, Noel had a feeling if he didn't hold Hope back now, he would regret it forever. He couldn't lose Hope, Hope was his only motivation left, and he had promised to protect him….

"Hope, stop!" But before Noel could reach him, before Hope could even turn to acknowledge him, his ears were met with a distant clangor of bells. Noel couldn't explain it; his running slowed to a stop, almost as if his body were acting against his will. There was something familiar about that sound….

Noel managed one last glance at Hope and weakly raised a hand in his direction, his one last attempt to reach for him. But his arm fell, his eyes closed, and slowly everything became dark.

* * *

><p>There was something strange about everything when Noel next woke, though it took a while for him to realize it.<p>

Noel sat up slowly. What had happened? He remembered there having been a distinct tolling of bells — where were the bells now? He also remembered everything having become dark — or had that just been his vision failing him? Presently he could see everything he had been able to prior to reaching the Faultwarrens….

Wait, where was Titan? And where was Hope?

Noel took a better look at his surroundings. They were certainly at the Faultwarrens still, and the area showed no signs of a battle having occurred. This much relieved Noel: It was not the case that he had failed to protect Hope. As he thought on it, however, he began to question why he had blacked out in the first place and if Hope had also lost consciousness — and _where _was Hope?

There. Noel could see the yellow of Hope's uniform and the silver of his hair. But Hope did not appear to be moving. Worry filled Noel, his vigor returning to him as he quickly got up and made his way to him. He found Hope sprawled on the ground; Hope was still breathing, but he otherwise showed no signs of consciousness. Noel tried shaking him, but still he gave no response.

How long ago now had it been when Noel last held a conscious and perfectly fine Hope in his embrace? — Noel wasn't even sure what Hope's status was, with Hope's breathing as his only consolation, the only reason he had not yet lost control over himself.

So Hope passed out, too. Noel again tried to recall what had happened. He remembered the tolling of bells … Titan had been talking about Valhalla and Snow … Hope had been pleading —

A scratching noise interrupted Noel from his thoughts. He was puzzled at first, and in his vigilance he whipped his head peripherally to search for the source of the noise. It was only as he listened more carefully that he realized the sound was coming from Hope's person.

The noises grew clearer: Dr. Haussen's voice.

"Director Estheim, do you copy? What's your location? Hope?"

"Dr. Haussen," Noel hissed into the mouthpiece of the comm device. "It's Noel. Hope's unconscious, he's not waking up!" As the words left his mouth, as he vocally acknowledged the situation, Noel realized just how terrifying the thought of Hope being unconscious was.

_He's still breathing_, Noel reminded himself yet again. Hope would be okay….

Right?

"Noel, what's your location?" repeated Dr. Haussen. "We're sending an airship your way. We need the both of you back here as soon as possible." Noel then gave him their location, as best of a description as he could give; Dr. Haussen seemed to understand, and she acknowledged this calmly. Noel, on the other hand, was anything but calm. As if Hope's current state wasn't enough to deal with, Noel was now concerned for why they were being called back.

Was it Valhalla? Had the Ambassadors found something in the Thirteenth Ark? Or had she said that in response to Hope's unconsciousness? It dawned upon Noel that _anything_ could have happened….

The Director prepared to cut the line, bidding Noel farewell and assuring him that they would arrive soon to pick up Noel and Hope and to tend to the latter, but Noel could not let her go. There was too much he didn't know. He couldn't even remember what had happened with Titan, if anything had come out of their encounter at all…. This was just another trouble he didn't need.

"Dr. Haussen, wait," said Noel quickly. "What's happening? Does it have something to do with Valhalla? Just a while ago, I heard bells ringing…."

There was a hushed silence that followed, interrupted only by the static of their transmission. Noel didn't like it. Dr. Haussen was hesitating; was there something she was afraid to tell him? — did she already know about Hope and why he wasn't conscious, was that why she was calling them back? — no, but the Director had been paging Hope, not him….

Noel's heard someone talking to the Director, likely another scientist: "Do they not know?"

If Noel had not understood then, Dr. Haussen's following words made it clear.

"Oerba Dia Vanille and Oerba Yun Fang have woken up. We'd put them on the line, but they're presently sitting through medical examinations." Noel couldn't believe his ears, but before he could properly think on it Dr. Haussen continued. "An airship's already on its way as we speak. We can talk about you and Hope's miracle story later, Noel. Keep yourselves alive until then."

And the line went dead. Noel remained motionless for a moment. He was caught in disbelief, though excitement soon surged through him. They had succeeded? But how? — both of them had passed out. Unless… unless Hope had lost consciousness much later than he had, after having bargained with Titan? — was _this _the real reason Hope was unconscious?

Noel turned to Hope's motionless body. And then, Noel didn't know what he was feeling anymore. There was excitement and relief in that they had somehow caused Vanille and Fang to wake up. But had it even been because of _their_ efforts? — but how else could they have woken up? Yet as he stared at Hope, concern and worry also filled him. What _had _Hope done? Why was he unconscious? — Noel had to constantly keep reminding himself that he too had passed out, that Hope was still breathing, that Hope _wasn't _dead, that Hope _hadn't _done something so foolish as to give up his life for his friends. Maybe his unconsciousness wasn't tied to Vanille and Fang's awakening at all? — but Noel was sure he himself hadn't done anything, unless that was why he couldn't remember what had happened? — no, Noel was sure, it had definitely been Hope.

There were so many unanswered questions. Why had they passed out? What had come out of meeting Titan? Had they even found Pulse? Why had Vanille and Fang awoken? Something indeed was strange about everything, and Noel didn't like it. He hoped Dr. Haussen had answers, but he knew nothing would be explained until they were taken back to Bhunivelze.

He stared at the seemingly lifeless Hope in his arms. His hands were shaking as the weight of everything slowly set in.

_Hope,_ Noel whispered, though he knew he could not hear him; _what did you do_…?__

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Posted: <strong>17 May 2012**  
>Last Edited: <strong>28 Jan 2013

_Upcoming: The fight for the world takes to the skies._


	10. Heroes' Charge

_In the previous episode, Noel witnesses a miracle_ — Vanille and Fang have been released from Crystal Stasis. Yet in light of this joyous news, Noel can't help but to entertain darker thoughts: To what ends has Hope gone to free his friends, and why hasn't Hope returned to consciousness? Unanswered questions lingering in the back of his mind, Noel is forced to prepare for the battle to come_….___

* * *

><p><strong>Crystal Fortresses<br>**_Two men seeking to save the future, driven by the burdens of their past: Perhaps they had more in common than Hope once thought._

Episode 10: Heroes' Charge

* * *

><p>"Noel."<p>

It took Noel several moments to realize he was being addressed.

"Sorry. You were saying?" Having been distracted with his own thoughts, namely those of Hope and Hope's well-being, Noel turned to face the wild-haired woman who had called him by name: Oerba Yun Fang. They were acquainted for nearly two weeks now, having been introduced within hours after Noel had returned from Gran Pulse; the only reason Noel was able to remember such a tiny detail was because exactly thirteen days had passed since Hope had fallen into unconsciousness in the Faultwarrens — not that he had been counting the days, of course.

Fang reminded Noel of Dr. Haussen, though only in appearance. Noel soon learned that Fang's character was distinct from that of the Director: personality, ideals and all else. Noel had never met a person quite like her — then again, he couldn't say he knew that many people very well, so if people like Fang really did exist somewhere, then they were certainly hard to come by. She was to the point, but she also stood up for what she believed in. She also valued the well-being of her friends, a trait Noel spotted quite easily, in particular wherever Vanille was concerned.

After having met Vanille, Noel could see why Hope held her with such importance. She was very kindhearted, always with a smile. She and Hope were compatible, Noel dared to conclude. He could almost picture the two chatting together — he was sure Hope relied on a smile like hers to keep him going, especially during their l'Cie days before Noel had met him. But Noel hadn't talked to her very much, despite these conclusions; it was too painful to watch her take in the sight of a lifeless Hope, on top of having to deal with his own feel—

"Noel."

He'd done it again.

"Sorry."

"Enough with the apologies already, will ya?" snapped Fang, and it took all of Noel's efforts to refrain from apologizing again. He wasn't himself. Ever since he'd returned to the Academy with Hope's unresponsive body, his words comprised mostly apologies. But the one person who needed to hear that apology most…

"They'll be fine," said Fang, as if having read Noel's mind. "Vanille. And Hope. They're in good hands. And I wouldn't trust just anyone with Vanille's safety, so that's saying something."

"Yeah." Noel wondered just what _was_ Fang's relationship to the girl, but in his better judgment Noel decided not to ask, not in that moment.

"Besides," continued Fang as she gave a jerk of her head, "we've got business to do. No point in a rescue mission if you don't got the right mindset, yeah?"

Noel agreed, if only in his head. Even as they spoke, they were sitting aboard an airship and awaiting departure. It had all been discussed days ago, not too long after his return to Bhunivelze: a preemptive strike with the primary objective of rescuing Snow. It had even been his idea, knowing full well that Snow would be fighting from the inside if he'd been awakened like Fang and Vanille had. But they had delayed longer than Noel would've liked, though the delays had been necessary, and the rescue party — Lieutenant Strike, Fang, and himself — was only now embarking; Fang made it a point that Vanille _not _come along because of her injury, but Noel didn't really follow, and he chose not to question it because someone needed to look after Hope. Noel hoped Snow hadn't yet been defeated, though knowing Snow's character Noel was certain Snow was still putting up a fight.

Noel was surprised that anyone had listened to his suggestion at all, considering how unable he'd been to respond to questions regarding their travels on Gran Pulse and Hope's current state of being. Lieutenant Strike had been the first to support Noel's proposition, who was perhaps the least blinded by Hope's unconsciousness, and with time the proposition gained momentum and earned the approval of the Colonel. Noel was still slightly uneasy over leaving an unconscious Hope behind, but he knew his choices were limited. He would have to trust Vanille to take care of him, at least until everything tided over.

Now if only Noel could leave his worries behind, too.

"Speaking of the rescue mission," said Lieutenant Strike suddenly, who had previously been in the cockpit talking to Sazh and was now accompanying them; "I think now would be a good time for a quick strategy briefing."

Quite frankly Noel had had enough of strategy briefings — he'd sat in on several over the past few days, and without Hope they were painful to sit through — but he knew this particular briefing was a necessary one. Firstly it had been his idea, but more importantly their success was crucial in securing Snow's safety, and while Noel may not have always been on proper terms with Snow, he knew rescuing Snow would also have been among Hope's priorities.

Noel had failed to keep him safe. Advancing Hope's desires was by no means an apology for yet another failure, but it was all he could do. It was the proper distraction, the first step toward denying the very real possibility of Hope not—

"Might not wanna space out on this one," said Fang, interrupting Noel from his thoughts. Noel was thankful for the interruption, as he knew he couldn't afford to think so pessimistically, and after giving Fang an appreciative nod he turned to the Lieutenant and gave him his full attention.

Their destination was the Thirteen Ark, a tip the Academy would otherwise not have had if it hadn't been for Hope's genius. Getting inside the Ark was the bigger problem, however, and it was the primary reason for their delay; security barriers had been erected since the Ambassadors' occupation of the airborne fortress, and it'd taken days for Dr. Haussen to analyze them and determine how they could be breached. Several days' work yielded the possibility of breaking the barriers by impact, and with this theory in mind it was decided that the airship would be launched into the Ark via slingshot. Sazh seemed convinced, from prior experiences with Arks, that the airship would not crash into the fortress after breaching the barriers, and while Noel was not so easily convinced he eventually, albeit still reluctantly, gave the older man his trust.

Their objectives were straightforward: Retrieve Snow, then regroup and call for reinforcements. The plan itself, however, was not so straightforward. Not even Snow's old comrades could accurately predict thirteen days' worth of fighting, and just where on the Ark Snow would be was anyone's guess. But if there was anything they were all certain of, it was that stealth and secrecy would need to be maintained while aboard the Thirteenth Ark; this would prove particularly difficult considering their rather explosive method of entry, and for sure all secrecy would be lost once they were reunited the more proactive Snow, but until then keeping a low profile was essential.

"We're trying to retrieve allies, here," summarized the Lieutenant. "Having to rescue another is an unwanted item to add to our agenda."

"And then Snow'll just come after us, like the hero he is," said Fang with a roll of her eyes. "Yeah, better off not getting captured."

Before Noel could pitch in his two cents, the airship took off. There had been no warning — or perhaps there had been, but the three of them had been too busy talking amongst themselves to hear it — and Noel was consequentially not prepared for the sudden jerking movement his body gave in response to the slingshot launch. Noel had never experienced such turbulence before, in particular when the airship impacted and penetrated the Thirteenth Ark's barriers, but before Noel could even open his mouth to complain the airship came to a stop.

"That's it?" asked Noel in disbelief. Despite Sazh's affirmative answer, the three clamored out from the airship in order to see for themselves. Indeed, Sazh had been right, and they had somehow not crashed the ship into the fortress. But then, where were they? Unless_…_

"This is it," said Fang, who was leaning on her taming pole for support. "This beauty's got 'Ark' written all over it."

Noel reasoned her body was not quite used to the turbulence, not after hundreds of years of crystal sleep. But there was something strange about the way Fang was grasping her bladed lance, though Noel couldn't determine what was off. She held it in a typical manner, as one should, and it was as if the very act of holding her weapon normally was ringing bells in his head. Was the sight conflicting with something he'd been told before? — but Noel didn't give it too much thought, not without the ability to draw any conclusions, so for the moment he let it go.

Noel had no choice but to believe Fang's and Sazh's word. Somehow, after having breached the security barriers, they had found themselves not crashing into the fortress but instead warping _inside _it. How that was even possible, Noel couldn't quite fathom, but it wasn't the first time that technology from this age had left him overwhelmingly impressed.

"Reminds me of the good ol' l'Cie days," muttered Fang quietly, as if meant only for her own ears. A reminiscent yet bitter scowl was upon her face as she said these words. "Anyway. Snow, yeah?"

"Yeah." After seeking silent affirmation from Lieutenant Strike, Noel began to lead the party away from the airship and deeper into the Ark. Admittedly, leading the Lieutenant felt weird to Noel, considering that not too long ago _he _had been the one serving under _his _command. Perhaps it was because Noel had advanced the idea of rendezvousing with Snow that he was being given the lead. Still, he took the role with caution, and he took into serious consideration any piece of advice the Lieutenant offered him.

The inside of the Ark was like nothing Noel had ever seen before, and it most certainly did not resemble any of the architecture he'd seen in Bhunivelze; then again, Noel had only seen Bhunivelze's underground bunkers, which was hardly an accurate architectural sample of the current age. The tunnels they were now traversing always seemed to lead to spacious, dimly-lit, high-ceiling rooms, and it made Noel ponder over just what sort of final destination to expect. While their path was generally straightforward, Noel wasn't too sure if they'd be running into Snow or if they would have to go out of their way to find him.

As they walked, Fang enlightened him with a bit of history regarding the Arks; Noel only half-listened, keeping most of his attention to the path before him. Most of it he'd heard from Hope, anyway — or at least, he assumed such — so talk of l'Cie training grounds wasn't news to him. Fang made no mention of the Thirteenth Ark being a fighting grounds for some inevitable upcoming battle, so Noel was inclined to assume that this piece of information was something that Hope had uncovered solely from his research in the Academy.

"That reminds me," said Lieutenant Strike in a quiet voice, "you aren't l'Cie anymore, you and Vanille, correct? You think it's the same for Snow?"

"With that guy? Who knows." Noel chose not to comment on Fang's response, even as both she and the Lieutenant turned to him for his output. It had been a huge shock for Fang and Vanille to find their Brands gone, as if they had never been branded at all. Their Brands were what Fang first checked upon waking — she had actually checked Vanille's before her own — and this revelation had been Noel's confirmation that Hope's efforts really had proved successful.

But whether Snow would wake up to the same circumstance… well. Noel had once told the Colonel that l'Cie-Snow would be more of a force than the Colonel would; he wasn't sure if the same could confidently be said with Snow being human. Perhaps it was selfish, but for the sake of his own pride Noel hoped Snow was still a l'Cie.

Hope _had_ sought his friends' salvation though, so if Snow were still l'Cie then their problems would not yet be solved.

But a new possibility dawned upon Noel: What if Snow had not awakened from crystal sleep at all? What if only Fang and Vanille had been the ones released from their stasis? It wasn't like anyone could explain the phenomenon–and even if Hope did bargain with the gods for his crystallized friends' lives, Hope wasn't yet conscious to give the details. And when Noel had put forth the idea of a rescue mission, no one had questioned his logic, no one had considered seriously the possibility of only several of the crystallized ex-l'Cie, not all, regaining consciousness.

If Snow were still crystal, their mission would be pointless. Snow would not have caused a riot to catch the Ambassadors' attention, and they would not be catching the Ambassadors at a disadvantage. Noel's only reassurance was that Ambassador soldiers had not yet come running to investigate as they should have — and their entrance hadn't exactly been discreet.

"You seem distracted," said the Lieutenant suddenly, snapping Noel from his thoughts. "Not doubting yourself, are you?"

"No, sir," Noel lied. Despite having removed himself from his voluntary service with the military, Noel still addressed the Lieutenant in the same respectful manner: Noel felt it strange to address him in any other way, much like how he could not address Dr. Haussen by her first name despite her reintroduction. Still, if he had to choose, Noel would rather formally address the Lieutenant than the Colonel. The Lieutenant had more of his respect, whereas the Colonel had nearly none.

They fell into a silence as they entered the next high-ceiling room; it had been the Lieutenant to caution the group against talking in these rooms, as their voices tended to echo here more than in the tunnels. They had been traveling for nearly half an hour now, and while they hadn't run into any complications, they had also not run into any signs of Snow or combat. The only concerning matter that arose was Noel's suspicion of being followed, though there were no signs or proof of any pursuers following them, so they only took extra caution and did not dwell on this thought much.

"The Ambassadors would come right out and attack us," reasoned the Lieutenant, while Fang pitched in with a "Secrecy's just not Snow's style, yeah?"

It wasn't too long afterward that their hushed conversation turned to the subject of Hope. The Lieutenant was still going on about some 'secret,' it seemed, and though Noel continued to insist he had no such secret, the Lieutenant did not stand down. He was gratefully saved from the Lieutenant's onslaught by Fang, who seemed troubled by Hope's continued unconsciousness.

"Something's fishy 'bout all this, though," she mused to herself. She was trying to recall the details Noel had disclosed in previous strategy briefings. "The way you describe Hope… sounds a whole lot like Vanille when she's trying ta hide something from me."

Noel sighed. He was at a loss. He didn't know much about Vanille's character, but he knew enough to understand Fang's point. Noel remembered the unsettling feeling he could not shake off during his voyage on Gran Pulse with Hope. He remembered wanting to get into Hope's head, wanting to constantly reassure Hope.

What if Hope had seen this end all along? What if he'd been hiding something the entire time?

_"Trust me."_

Those had been among Hope's last spoken words to him, and they were now ringing in his ears. Just how far were those words supposed to extend? Titan _had _been there, yes, that much had come true. But if Hope really had been keeping secrets from him, secrets involving the means in which he'd save Fang's and Vanille's and Snow's lives, had he expected Noel to come to terms with it, to _trust _him? And Noel wanted to trust him, he really did. Yet Noel knew Hope had set out wanting to save his friends, those whom Hope considered himself close to: Friends who had helped him mature at a young age, when he would not have been able to survive otherwise. Noel knew Hope was the kind to set his mind to something and not back down from it. And when it came to the safety of Hope's friends, when Noel's wasn't directly being compromised….

_Was I… am I close to Hope?_

"Hey, you space out this often, or what?"

That Noel remembered to bite back an apology was a surprise to the both of them.

"Your face says a lot, you know," continued Fang. "Nothing but worry. Seems to me like Hope's a big deal to you."

"Director Estheim's the reason Noel joined the army," said the Lieutenant, before Noel had the opportunity to speak for himself. "Also the reason he quit, might I add."

"That so?" Noel found himself not liking the tone in Fang's voice, and he didn't want to think about the conclusions she could have drawn from the Lieutenant's words. "Well, look what we have here."

"What's there to look at?" said Noel defensively. "Hope's just…."

_Just… what?_

"Someone special?" offered Fang, a cheeky grin upon her face. Noel turned to Lieutenant Strike for support, though he was only met with the Lieutenant's amusement.

"No…" Noel paused. "Well, maybe. It's like you and Vanille, I suppose."

"_Like me and Vanille_?" Noel immediately regretted making the analogy, and it was only after Fang rounded on him when Noel remembered just how intimidating the woman was. He hadn't meant the analogy in a bad way, only in that he and Hope were close just as Fang and Vanille appeared to be. But then, he didn't really know what Vanille meant to Fang, so perhaps he'd been overambitious in his analogy.

"Vanille's the world to me," said Fang, her eyes narrowing as she approached Noel. "I'd do anything if it meant saving her. Tear down the sky if I have to. And you're telling me, you'd do that for Hope?"

"I…."

Noel paused, though he did not need to. He already knew that answer.

"I would."

There was a moment of silence between them: Fang, who seemed surprised by Noel's answer; and the Lieutenant, who was still wearing a smile Noel could not decipher. In that silence, as Noel continued to stand his ground to the intimidating Fang, Noel gave more serious thought to the question and the response he'd given. The more thought he gave it, the more he was sure of his answer. Hope was important to him, the closest friend he had left. That much was certain.

Before Fang could comment further, sounds of shuffling feet began to echo down the tunnel. Noel and Fang were immediately pulled to the wall. Both were given alarmed glances from the Lieutenant, though Noel didn't need telling twice: It was easy to tell that a large group of soldiers — Ambassadors — were headed their way. The question was whether the soldiers were after the three or whether they were simply passing by.

"What should we do?" whispered Noel. His eyes quickly surveyed the room. There wasn't much the three of them could properly hide behind, especially not in these narrower tunnels. A fight was inevitable.

"Wait for them to pass," said the Lieutenant. "Maintain secrecy. Last resort, we can ambush this group and then make a run for it."

But they did not need to wait that long, and they were easily spotted in the narrow hallways. Fang, who had been bent on fighting from the very start, sprung quickly into action, and before Noel could even unsheathe his weapons her bladed lance was being swung in all directions.

"Fang!"

"You go get Snow," she yelled over the sounds of weapons clashing against each other. "I'll handle this!"

The Lieutenant was quick in following her orders, and without a word he fought his way through the group of soldiers and continued down the hall. Naturally the Ambassador soldiers attempted to pursue him, but they were hindered by Fang — wait, did she just _fly_?

"Noel!" yelled Fang, who had noticed he hadn't yet left. As she said these words, several soldiers were charging at her with weapons raised over their heads, but a quick blitz targeting their unguarded torsos saw their end.

"Get going! Snow _needs_ you!"

"But–"

"_Go_!" she hissed, and Noel's retort was lost. He knew Fang was too stubborn to listen to him. Giving into Fang's demands, Noel reluctantly took off after Lieutenant Strike, catching a last glance at Fang as he passed her. It would be Fang against an entire army; Noel would have to trust that she was strong enough.

_She has to be_, Noel told himself. _Hope hasn't seen her yet._

It occurred to Noel, as he took flight from battle, that Fang's situation was now no different than the one from which they were trying to rescue Snow. Well, there _was_ a difference, he supposed, that Snow had already been fighting for days, and perhaps that was what Fang had meant by Snow needing him.

_He better still be alive_, Noel thought to himself. He would not forgive Snow if the man allowed himself to be defeated a second time.

Fighting through the onslaught of soldiers was no easy task. It was as if each soldier had personally taken to heart the mistake of letting the Lieutenant slip by and was bent on not allowing Noel to do the same. Pushing through the masses was especially difficult in the narrower hallways; Noel was given more freedom in the more spacious rooms, and instead of fighting he climbed the ledges along the perimeter, reaching heights that most of the soldiers clad in heavy armor could not.

Eventually Noel did catch up to his superior, though he was not met with good news.

"Dead end," said the Lieutenant hurriedly, and it then became clear why Noel had been able to catch up. True enough, a wall stood before them, and the tunnel did not appear to turn elsewhere. Noel supposed they were bound to have run into a situation like this sooner or later, and that it would happen while being pursued was certainly unfortunate. A dead end meant two things: One, that they would have to seriously fight; and two, that Snow was not there, that they would need to backtrack and find another path that might've been missed.

Weapons at the ready, both men turned to fight. It occurred to Noel that splitting up might not have been the best idea after all, and while they had succeeded in mitigating the fighting, it also made them very vulnerable. Noel knew Gregor was out there somewhere; Fang and Snow would certainly be at a disadvantage if he struck either of them. Fighting was now unavoidable, yet they needed to focus on getting Snow and then returning to Fang's side.

The Lieutenant seemed to understand this, and he was the first of the two to charge at their pursuers. Noel could hear noises from somewhere behind him, noises that were a sure indication that more men were on the way, and as he prepared to follow after the Lieutenant he did his best to ignore these signs.

_Wait. Behind me?_

Something was off. Why were there noises coming from behind him? He knew very well that they had come to a dead end, that there was nothing but a wall behind him. Was it an echo, then? — but even that conclusion seemed off.

Forgetting the fight before him for just a moment, Noel turned again with narrowed eyes to examine the wall more carefully. Upon closer inspection he noticed a slight crack in the wall, wide enough that a faint light filtered through the crack but not enough to be able to fit his fingers through.

"Noel!" yelled the Lieutenant's voice, and by the strain in his voice Noel could tell he was fighting many soldiers all at once; that no soldier had come after him yet was likely the Lieutenant's doing, also.

"Sir, I think there's something behind this wall!" Despite the circumstances, Noel could not shake the feeling that this was something worth investigating. There was definitely something on the other side, and if they weren't prepared for it they could potentially be surrounded by more soldiers. Indeed, the sounds from that side were that of more men, but he could also hear the sounds of panicked shouting, almost as if —

"_COMING THROUGH!_"

Noel barely had time to act, and he was only just able to flatten himself against another wall as the cracked wall was suddenly blown away. Dust quickly filled the area, the sounds of coughing ringing in Noel's ears. Despite this, Noel could still hear the sounds of Lieutenant Strike fighting; he was likely taking advantage of the distraction and striking the soldiers in their vulnerability.

"Miss me?"

Noel was sure he could recognize that voice in his sleep, and though the circumstances weren't exactly opportune to hold such casual conversation he gave a response anyway.

"Definitely not."

As if Noel could miss this cocky self-proclaimed hero.  
>Especially not if he was just as reckless as ever.<br>Even though it'd been his proposal to rescue him.

Still, seeing Snow alive in the flesh put to rest many of his doubts that had come about since having arrived on the Thirteenth Ark. Though Noel would not admit it aloud, Noel was glad to see Snow, and he was sure Hope would be happy to see him too.

"Been fighting for days," said Snow conversationally, as if blasting through doors was something he'd been doing regularly over the past few days. Noel bit his tongue with distaste. If only Snow looked and sounded like he'd actually been fighting: Snow was much too chipper, hardly convincing.

"Anyway," continued Snow, oblivious to Noel's distaste; "you got a way outta here? And hey, where's Serah?"

_Serah…_

Noel's eyes widened in realization: Snow didn't know yet, did he? How could Noel possibly bring himself to deliver that news? Though Noel had once had his doubts, he knew Snow held Serah very close to him. Should Snow find out he'd lost the very girl for whom he'd been fighting, would he still have the motivation to fight?_  
><em>

Noel's thoughts immediately flashed to Hope, and without meaning to he began to question himself. What would happen if Hope never woke up? Would _he _keep fighting, or would he—

"You done with your chitchat yet?" Both Snow and Noel turned to Lieutenant Strike, who appeared somewhat annoyed at Noel's lack of combat and was still fighting off soldiers as they were recovering from the mini-explosion. Never had Noel been so thankful for a distraction: he had been spared from having to deliver ill news and from entertaining possible outcomes he did not want to come to realization.

"Who's that guy?" asked Snow offhandedly. Noel had to remind himself that Snow had not yet lived in this time period for very long.

"We'll talk later." If he had the choice, though Noel technically _did_ have the choice, he would've opted to not make such a promise to Snow. But Noel knew he owed him this much. Snow needed to know that he had failed to keep Serah safe.

Noel didn't want to admit it, but the odds were certainly in their favor with Snow now accompanying them. Snow excelled in taunting enemies and redirecting their attacks to him, which allowed plenty of room for Noel and Lieutenant Strike to deliver swift and clean finishing blows. In this manner, the Ambassadors' number quickly dwindled, until at last the remaining soldiers took flight.

"They're headed for Fang," observed the Lieutenant. "We have to help her."

"Fang?" said a surprised Snow, and he gave a soft whistle as if to portray his surprise. "Man, what _did_ I miss?"

"Explanations later," said Noel. "Come on. We'll rescue her, then retreat and regroup."

"Wait, why?" asked Snow as they began to backtrack towards Fang's last known location. "See here, I don't really know who's who, but if we're fighting the same men, they must be the bad guys, right? Why not just stamp 'em out here?"

Noel did not respond immediately. They were regrouping because that was what they had agreed to before deployment, but would Snow buy that answer? Would Snow buy _any _answer, for that matter? From his own experiences and from others' perceptions of him, Noel was under the impression Snow simply did as he wanted, whenever and wherever he saw fit.

"We will, after we call reinforcements," said the Lieutenant after some time. "Our primary objective was to secure your safety and to better assess the situation. No point in sending an entire army into a losing battle, right?"

"S'pose you're right," said Snow. "But sometimes you got no choice but to fight, eh?"

_Fighting's inevitable no matter how you look at it_, Noel thought to himself, but he did not have the chance to voice this thought. A bigger concern presented itself as they drew nearer to where they'd split ways with Fang:

Gregor.

Fang, it seemed, had been able to hold the fight by herself, judging from the number of unconscious bodies that lay along the perimeter of the room. Apparently she had caused enough of a ruckus to draw in the attention of Gregor himself, with whom she appeared to have reached stalemate. Weapons locked, both Fang and Gregor were facing off in a battle of strength, though Gregor appeared to have the upper hand.

"Fang!" yelled Snow, killing every thought of preemption before it could even enter Noel's mind. As expected, the moment Snow made his exclamation he rushed forward, but not before a crowd of soldiers blocked his path; as Noel drew his swords and took a look around the area, he began to notice the numerous soldiers lining the perimeter of the room, much as the Academy had done at Port Dexum.

"Ah," said Gregor, and the tone of his voice was far too relaxed for Noel's liking. It was almost… expectant. "Told you they'd come. I see you managed to bring along the l'Cie, how courteous of you. He really was starting to become a bother."

"_A bother?_" repeated Snow, clearly provoked. But Noel was entertaining a different thought:

Had they been led into a trap?

"I implore you to drop your resistance," continued Gregor. "You're surrounded, and it really would make my life easier if you didn't put up a fight. Come silently, or I'll see to it personally that you're silenced." At these words, the soldiers along the perimeter began to move. Noel wanted to fight, _needed_ to fight, but his hesitation and fear of Gregor's intentions were holding him back. All the while, Fang had been overpowered, and with one swing of the blunt side of Gregor's weapon she was knocked down and did not get up; an enraged Snow launched himself at Gregor, who only blasted the nuisance away with a well-aimed Ruinga.

Two downed, two still standing. Despite Snow and Fang's resistance, Gregor had not taken their lives, and it was with this thought that Noel permitted the approaching soldiers to take him into captivity. He could not let further harm come to anyone else.

_I'm sorry, Hope_, Noel said silently in apology. As he vowed to get him and the others out of their predicament soon, he caught wind of two things — a flash of green from the corner of his eye and Gregor shouting something about a brother — before a blow to the back of his head rendered him unconscious.

* * *

><p>Noel awoke to the sounds of hushed conversation, though his consciousness was acknowledged before he could comprehend any of the words being said.<p>

"Nice of you to join us," said a voice, namely Fang's. Noel acknowledged the greeting with a short nod, but not before opening his eyes to properly assess the situation. Fang's wrists and ankles were cuffed to the wall opposite of him, with Snow and the Lieutenant constrained similarly to the walls adjacent to him; one downward glance told Noel that he was bound in the same fashion.

"Could be worse," said the Lieutenant, offering Noel a weak smile. "We could be dead. Or knocked out like that guy." Here, Lieutenant Strike nodded stiffly to Snow, whose head was still bowed and who showed no signs of consciousness. After days of fighting and fending for himself on enemy groups, Noel was sure Snow had exhausted himself and pushed his body past its limits.

"Least he's got all his body parts," said Fang, after giving Snow a glance over. "Vanille, the poor girl. Missing most of her right hand."

"What happened, anyway?" asked Noel, regarding Lieutenant Strike and Fang in turn. "Back there with Gregor, I mean."

"Man's a clever guy," said Fang. "Went after me, knowing you guys would come back. Least you managed to find Snow before we got caught."

"More like he found us," said the Lieutenant. "Snow Villiers, what a guy. And all along I thought Noel here was being reckless."

"Hey now."

But the Lieutenant only chuckled and took back his previous remark.

"The guy made a good point, though," continued the Lieutenant. "Sometimes you got no choice but to fight. Guess this is one of those times, huh?"

Fang answered, "Yep, sure is. I wonder, though. Why didn't he kill us when he had the chance?"

"Public execution."

The two words had been whispered so quietly, Noel had almost missed them entirely.

"Gregor let it slip," explained the Lieutenant. "Besides, as a terrorist group, what's the point of eliminating the opposition if no one knows you've done it? They're going to want to instill fear into the populace's hearts."

"History repeating herself all over again," snapped Fang, shaking her head. She then turned to the Lieutenant and added, "You think your men are gonna come in time to get us outta this?" But before anyone could answer her, a sharp voice cried from outside their room, reprimanding them for too much ruckus.

No one spoke thereafter, leaving Noel to his thoughts. How was Hope doing? Now that he thought about it, for how long had he blacked out? Noel no longer knew how many days it'd been since they'd returned from the Faultwarrens; was there a chance that Hope had come around at last? He certainly hoped so. And what about Lightning? Where was she now, or had she not been saved like Snow, Fang and Vanille? — and what about what Gregor had said about Snow? Gregor had referred to Snow as a l'Cie. Was Gregor just misinformed, or had Snow not been saved like Fang and Vanille had?

There were still so many things Noel didn't know — did Hope already know of these things? — and he hated the feeling it gave him, because they were running out of time, and despite everything he'd done with Hope he didn't feel he was any —

"Noel," said the Lieutenant quietly, disrupting Noel from his disarrayed thoughts; "did you ever tell Snow about the girl?"

Noel turned to the unconscious Snow. He promised he would, but he hadn't had the chance. Hopefully he would be able to apologize to Snow before it was too late.

"No. Not yet."

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Posted:<strong> 02 Jan 2013**  
>Last Edited:<strong> 05 Sept 2013

_Upcoming: Vanille and Hope share a heartfelt exchange; Noel struggles to help Snow find a sense of purpose._


	11. The Price of Salvation

_In the previous episode, the Academy makes its move. In response to the Ambassadors' interest in the Thirteenth Ark, Noel, Fang and Lieutenant Strike set off to rescue Snow; meanwhile, Vanille is left to watch over a seemingly unconscious Hope. Though Snow is successfully recovered, the party falls at the hand of Gregor. Now in captivity, Noel faces an unavoidable truth, for Snow does not yet know of his fiancée's fate….  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Crystal Fortresses<br>**_Two men seeking to save the future, driven by the burdens of their past: Perhaps they had more in common than Hope once thought._

Episode 11: The Price of Salvation

* * *

><p>For a moment, there was nothing but darkness and silence.<p>

Hope doubted his surroundings were truly either of these, but the moment felt forever and he did not awaken. The feeling was familiar, yet not: a dark sleep. Any thought he entertained was not retained for very long. _Where am I now_, Hope would ask himself, but then the thought would leave him in favor of other questions that would also remain unanswered: _Where was Titan, Where did Noel go, Why is it so quiet, Am I dreaming_ —

_Had_ Hope been dreaming? His travels with Noel on Gran Pulse were a blur to him, and that much he knew _hadn't_ been a dream. But meeting Titan, the impulsive gamble he had made — were _they_ just figments of his imagination, or had they actually occurred? What if he were still on Gran Pulse alongside Noel? What if he had only blacked out from overexertion and would soon awaken from a dream? Still, wherever Hope was now, he could no longer hear Noel's voice, and even in a dream world it gave him reason for momentary concern.

Hope did regain consciousness, eventually. He was greeted with a harsh brightness, in stark contrast to the gloom of Gran Pulse's skies, and it caused him to keep his eyes closed for a moment longer. How he had not woken up from the brightness before now was beyond him, but more important was the observation that he could not possibly be on Gran Pulse anymore. He had to be back on Bhunivelze, there was no way it could be this bright down on Gran Pulse — though, there was still the possibility that he were aboard an airship, which Hope doubted; after a moment's pause to test that possibility Hope did not hear the roaring of an engine and concluded he was not on an airship and therefore had to be on Bhunivelze.

Slowly Hope rose to a seated position. His body felt sore, as if he had not moved for days. Then, as he rubbed at his eyes and once more attempted to adjust to his surroundings, a voice called to him:

"Hope! You're awake!"

Hope did not need to guess to whom the voice belonged. He had heard that voice recently, if only in his dreams; in his slow start Hope did not immediately register that he was not living a dream this time, or that it was actually hundreds and hundreds of years since he'd last heard that voice.

"Vanille?" Sure enough, Vanille was seated across the room, her head raised to him. For a moment their eyes met and neither moved, as if both were questioning their reality. Then, at last, Vanille sprang up from her seat with a wide, elated grin. Hope could not keep the grin off his face, either: This really was Vanille, in the flesh, and she was no longer in crystal stasis. It was confirmation that what he'd done really hadn't been a dream.

Hope stood up to greet Vanille, but the moment he was on his feet Vanille suddenly gasped and came to a stop. He, too, faltered, caught between surprise and confusion. Hope had not expected this reaction, in the midst of what should have been a warm reunion. Had he done something wrong? Was there something off about his appearance? He had fully expected Vanille to be overflowing with gladness to see him, without reservation, just as he was overjoyed to see her.

No, she _was _happy to see him, she was just holding back — but why? Was she already aware of what he'd done?

Hope's euphoria was quickly leaving him, but before Hope could ask Vanille raised her head once more, and though her smile returned to her she made no acknowledgment of what had just happened.

"Are you okay?" she asked. Hope fought the urge to return the question. He was puzzled by Vanille's hesitance. Vanille, meanwhile, took a step back and allowed her hands to slip behind her back, bowing her head apologetically before continuing. "Everyone's been so worried — Noel especially, oh Hope, if only you _knew_ — and no one's got a clue what happened, not even Noel. He says he found you unconscious."

Hope nodded, as if to agree, but he was barely registering her words. His mind was pondering over something else….

"_Hope_, you're not listening!" Vanille whined, and Hope broke into soft laughter. It had been forever since he'd seen her pout, forever since he'd last teased —

"You're not in crystal stasis!" Hope exclaimed, as if it had only just occurred to him, though subconsciously he'd already come upon this observation. Vanille had been in crystal stasis. _Had been._ And here she was now, standing before him, as well and as youthful as he'd known her from his childhood. Vanille was no longer in crystal stasis, and as Hope continued to recover from his slow start he repeated this thought until he could properly understand it himself.

"I'm really not dreaming, am I?"

"Not quite," replied Vanille, "Though, you do sound surprised. Wasn't that what you set out to do?"

"Yeah… hey, that reminds me!" and without another word Hope stepped forward and took Vanille into his arms. He ignored her delighted squeal and her gasp of surprise; he knew she understood, that he was not only fulfilling a promise but also confirming for himself that she was really there with him, no longer crystal. He suspected it wasn't the first hug Vanille had received since having awakened, there was no doubt in Hope's mind that Fang had beaten him to that feat, but a promise was a promise and Hope intended to keep it.

Vanille offered him a soft smile once he pulled away, after Hope had made up for all the times Vanille consoled him in the past, and a soft _I missed you_ was exchanged between them. But when she stepped back again her smile faded, and her expression hardened from the seriousness of her following question:

"Hope, what _did_ happen?"

Hope shook his head.

"To be honest," he said, "I wouldn't know where to start."

Hope had a feeling Vanille would ask, and he suspected many others after her would question him, too. Was it that Vanille actually _didn't_ know, or was it that she already knew and was only trying to get him to admit it out loud? Truthfully Hope would be surprised if it were the former, as every time he'd met Vanille within a dream she seemed very aware of everything occurring beyond her crystal statue. Perhaps her sense of the world had diminished once_…_

"Your Brand," said Hope, snapping his fingers and ignoring the question at hand as he was reminded of a sudden thought. "Is it gone?"

Up until this point, Hope had assumed that being released from crystal stasis meant being human once more, and he did not consider the possibility that she might still be a l'Cie. (Though, Hope reminded himself after the fact, when he first met Vanille she'd been released from crystal stasis as a l'Cie, not a human.) But Vanille was able to dispel his worries, and after a quick flash of her hip Hope was certain nothing was there except skin.

"Thank you," added Hope, his gaze pointedly turned away. Vanille only laughed softly in response, oblivious to the repercussions of her actions. "So, you're not a l'Cie anymore. You can finally live your life normally again, right?"

"Not yet," said Vanille. "If you ask me, I wouldn't say this is quite a time to be living normally. And _hey_! You didn't answer my question!"

"What question?"

"_Hope_! I'm being serious, here." Vanille sighed, crossing arms over her chest. Hope couldn't help but to smile: it was a very Vanille sort of reaction. "No one knows what happened, not even Noel. One moment you're both out seeking Pulse, the next moment you're unconscious and we've been freed from crystal stasis? Something must've happened."

"Noel's here?" asked Hope, peering over Vanille's shoulder. He wondered if Noel had also blacked out at the Faultwarrens, if Noel had been unconscious for as long as he'd been.

_Well, maybe not for_ _as long as I'd been_, Hope told himself. Noel had been awake long enough to have already conversed with Vanille.

"Where is he?"

"Oh," said Vanille, "I see. So you're more interested in him than me."

"Vanille, that's not… I…." Hope wasn't sure if Vanille was teasing him or if she was legitimately hurt by where Hope's concerns lay. "I just want to know if he's okay."

"He's fine, don't worry about him. He's pretty tough. Now, enough about Noel for a second, Hope. Tell me what happened? I have something to tell you, too… but only if you speak first!"

Hope sighed in defeat. There really was no going around this, was there? On the one hand, Hope was scared for what Vanille might think of him. He had made many promises to her when they'd met in his dreams — how many of those, now, had he broken? He didn't want to disappoint Vanille again, he only wanted to make her smile… yet as Hope thought on it, she was the only one he _could_ tell. Hope trusted her, he knew she would listen to him unconditionally, he knew she would support him through the end. Between her and Noel… no, Hope could not tell Noel, not now.

"You can't tell anyone," whispered Hope, and only after he had her confirmation did he close his eyes and begin to recall his encounter with Pulse. He only briefly touched on the many days he'd spent wandering with Noel, how they had sought out fal'Cie in hopes of finding Pulse; he did not mention his failures with Bismarck and Atomos. So, Hope began with the Faultwarrens: meeting Titan, Titan's riddles, and when everything became dark.

* * *

><p>Hope felt as if he were floating. His mind was blank, he felt light-headed. Darkness surrounded him, he could no longer see the ground or the skies of Gran Pulse. It was as if he'd entered a dream, except Hope was sure if he had not lost consciousness.<p>

But slowly it came back to him, and as his surroundings began to materialize he found himself face to face with a familiar yet terrifying sight: Before him, now, was Pulse.

Now that he was in Pulse's presence, Hope could say he recognized Pulse. Even if Pulse's appearance was still quite frightening— Pulse had to be more than a hundred times Hope's size, and his half-covered face and his massive size only added to his overall image — Hope was somehow not as overwhelmed this time, not as panicked as he remembered being. He was no longer a scared fourteen-year-old in grief, he had come in expecting this encounter. Yet, when Pulse spoke, or when Hope was sure Pulse had spoken, Hope shuddered in trepidation.

_'You are a fool.'_

Pulse was speaking to him, though Hope heard nothing, as if he just _knew _what was being said to him, even when nothing was really being said at all. Hope spun around, his body flailing in midair as he turned. Where was he? — never mind that, where was _Noel_? He looked everywhere, but there was no sight of —

_'You are alone.'_

Alone. It was a terrifying word, yet Hope had come to know it well. When his mother had passed, he had been alone. When the four surviving l'Cie were freed from crystal stasis, he was the only one not reunited with his family, and he had been alone. When his friends began disappearing from the timeline and left him behind, he'd been alone. When Alyssa had betrayed him, when Snow had whisked him off into the future… alone.

And now… Noel was gone. In his resolve to save his friends, when Hope no longer wanted the backseat, when he no longer wanted to be left behind…. Alone. Again.

_'You are a fool.'_

Hope opened his mouth to speak, but no words came to him.

_'What is it you want? We have once branded you. Are you as foolish as the other to seek it again?'_

Still, Hope was unable to reply. It was only then Hope understood that Pulse's 'voice' must be in his head, that to talk to Pulse would be to speak to himself.

'I'm not trying to become a l'Cie.'

_'Then what? What business do you seek with us? Do you also act on a dream? The other acted on the words of Etro's warrior, and now he rests in crystal. Is that the fate you seek?'_

'No. I want to free everyone from crystal.' Had they been conversing aloud, Hope might not have had the nerve to speak so brazenly. For all he knew, and with no one to tell him otherwise, it could all have just been in his head. Perhaps they really weren't conversing at all, perhaps Hope would wake up to nothing more than a _—_

_'You also live in a dream. You wish to save those doomed to fate. You are arrogant. You assume everything is possible, that everything is under your control. Only when you realize you are not in control do you turn to your origins — your god.'_

'That's not true.' If Hope had thought to turn to Pulse earlier, he would have. Hope had spent his whole life trying to find a way to save Vanille and Fang, a list that later grew to include his mother, Light, Serah, and now Snow. It had nothing to do with doing it himself. It had everything to do with saving his friends from a fate they did not deserve, by whatever means. They had all lost themselves trying to do some good for the world. Hope would, too.

_'We have read your heart. You have spoken. But your petty wishes do not concern us.'_

'Then why did you do it for Snow?' Right. Hadn't Vanille told him this? That Pulse and his fal'Cie did not concern themselves with the affairs of mankind? Why _had_ they listened to Snow?

_'The other was bestowed the blessing of Etro. He acted upon the orders of Etro's warrior, one who guards Etro's Gate. Complying with his requests takes us closer to the awaited day.'_

Blessing of Etro… the ability to travel through time? — and it was the second time Pulse had mentioned Etro's warrior. Could he mean…?

Hope's heart was racing. Light was alive! The days he'd spent in despair were but a distant memory. He was so close to the truth, now. If only he could reach out just a little further….

_'The awaited day is nigh. We have caught a glimpse of Etro's Gate, but it has been denied to us.'_

Etro's gate? — then Hope remembered the task that had been assigned to Pulse, to seek out the door to the Unseen Realm. Surely that didn't mean —

_'Enough. Leave now, human. We will spare you humiliation. Do not remove us from our Focus.'_

'No, wait!' Hope panicked. He couldn't lose this chance, not when he was so close! He'd already learned so much! To where would he turn otherwise? How else could he save his friends? He refused to believe it was impossible, not when he'd come so far…

Where was Noel? Where was Noel now that he needed him the most? — he had been with him until now, hadn't he? Noel had stood by his side, Noel had hugged him when he felt most alone, Noel had cheered him up when he had plunged into defeat. But now that his resoluteness needed to be most firm, where had he gone? Was Noel experiencing a similar encounter?

Hope thought of Light, as best he could picture her from the images of the Oracle Drive. He thought of Vanille's smile, Fang's courage, Snow's perseverance, Serah's compassion, his mother's love… He thought of the mythological texts he'd read, searching for something to latch onto. He thought of Noel's kind eyes, Noel's physical presence, Noel himself….

'I'll make you a deal, Pulse.'

Part of Hope was acting out of desperation. Part of him was improvising. Part of him was hoping his instincts and interpretations were correct, even though the details were only just forming in his mind. Hope knew it would be the biggest gamble of his life.

'Light is Etro's warrior, isn't she? You say she's denied you Etro's Gate — it's the same reason our world hasn't been consumed by Valhalla, isn't it? Light did something to keep Valhalla from merging with our world, and that's exactly why you still haven't found Etro's Gate.

'Light's waiting for the right time. When all of Pulse's children have gathered — children _you _marked centuries ago by your brand — that's when she'll awake. She knows only then will she have the strength to fulfill her duties.'

_'What do you propose_?'

Hope gulped. This was it.

'Free everyone. Snow, Fang and Vanille. Barthandelus had that power, as did Etro. I know you can, too. In turn, Light will wake from her sleep, and you will have your Gate.'

_'You would willingly hand over your world to us?'_

Hope nodded. It wasn't that he was choosing his friends over the world. It was that he trusted them enough that, when they banded together, they would be able to protect the world from Pulse, Lindzei, and whoever else stood in their way.

As for protecting the world from Valhalla? — Hope overlooked the thought. As did Pulse, but that wasn't his concern.

_'Fal'cie act out of obligation to their Focus, and humans act out of self-interest. I am not so foolish as Etro. What price are you willing to pay? By what means can you convince me of your deal?'_

Price…? Hope feared the word. Pulse had taken his life away from him once — that Hope was here before him making a gamble was indeed a sign of his foolishness. Hope knew Pulse was capable of many things, and he was fearful for what a deity might demand.

_'We have read your heart, and your pleas intrigue us. We make but one deal. We will free your friends from crystal stasis, all those whom you've kept in your heart, and your price is your life. We will brand you again as our own._

_'Should the warrior not relinquish the Gate, you will suffer a fate worse than those for whom you care. Should the warrior give that which we seek, you will be reunited in whatever turmoil befalls this world.'_

So that was it, then. In the end, after the promises he'd made to Vanille and to Noel, the price of salvation of his friends was to be his own life.

What was Hope to say? He had begged for this chance, and now that he had struggled through and was finally faced with what he'd spent his whole life fighting for, he was at a loss. In freeing Vanille, Fang and Snow — and Light too, Hope was sure — he would be dooming himself.

Hope was being handed everything he'd ever wanted.

Why was he faltering?

Was it because he feared death? — but he wouldn't die just yet, he'd still have his chance to help save the world. And if the world were already doomed, if he didn't accept Pulse's terms, he'd simply die without trying.

Was it because of the promises he'd made on the way? — but if becoming a l'Cie meant having easier access to his magic, wouldn't that make him more useful? It was so easy to make blind promises, but now that his dreams were a reality dangling before his face… what if it really were the only way to save everyone?

_'Choose quickly. Your hesitation calls to us.'_

Vanille would be disappointed in him. Noel would be disappointed in him. Hope had not come to become a l'Cie. Yet he would never get this chance again — and hadn't Vanille been the one to tell him to take opportunities as they came, lest he regret it forever?

The clock was ticking. Hope needed to decide fast. He thought about Noel, how it would kill him to have to tell Noel his decision, especially now that he knew about Noel's fear of watching him die. Hope would be disappointing the person who had brought him here — and without Noel, Hope would never have made it this far. But as Hope thought on it, and as Pulse continued to pressure him toward a decision, he found himself unable to keep his promises to Noel any longer.

He thought about Fang, Vanille and Light, who each had given up her life for the sake of the world.

Then he thought about Serah and Yeul, who did not get that choice.

And then, his mind was properly set.

* * *

><p>Noel awoke to a start.<p>

The past few hours had been in this fashion, with Noel phasing in and out of consciousness. Bound to a wall of a dimly lit jail cell, Noel hadn't had many options available to him; after the first warning given to them, everyone had kept conversation to a relative minimum, and in turn they were not bothered by the guards watching over their cell. Because of this silence, Noel had been able to get some rest, albeit rather uncomfortably.

However, the silence was now broken. Noel was roused by a man's sudden shouting:

"Lemme outta here!"

"Shut the hell up and behave like the others!" was the sharp reply, which was then followed by the lashing of a whip and Snow's pained outburst; Noel cringed inwardly, though he did not make any noise. It seemed Snow had finally woken up and, having just become aware of his captivity, was beginning to cause unwanted commotion. Why did Noel not find Snow's ruckus surprising? Noel was beginning to wonder if —

_Serah._

The sudden thought blindsided Noel. His chest grew heavy: He still needed to tell Snow what had happened. Just when Noel thought he'd come to terms with Serah's death, guilt and regret were biting at him once more. Snow had trusted him to protect Serah, and he had failed him.

No, there was no avoiding it, now. Snow needed to know. Only then would Noel have proper closure.

_But when? But how?_

"Just couldn't keep your mouth shut, could ya?" Fang was now saying, prompting Noel to return to reality. Snow was still groaning from the pain; at first, Noel had not expected the soldiers on duty to forcibly silence Snow by means of violence, though the more he thought on it the more it seemed less surprising. Meanwhile, images of Serah's lifeless body on Hope's bed were resurfacing in the back of his mind, as if in painful reminder of his obligation at hand.

"All right, all right," mumbled Snow through gritted teeth. "Lesson learned. So, where are we, anyway? How long have we been here?"

"Who knows how long," said Fang. Noel presumed Fang and Snow were not yet aware of his consciousness, as neither were addressing him. "You sure took your sweet time waking up, 've been hanging out here for some time now. Dunno where the ground is, but we're pretty far up the wall. If you got anything on you, try dropping something to see how far up we are?"

There was a brief pause before Snow continued, "Who else is here? Did we all get caught? I can't see a damned thing."

"Yep, looks like it. You, me, Noel, and the Lieutenant." At these words, Noel turned his head slightly to the Lieutenant. Noel could tell he was awake, though the Lieutenant also appeared to be keeping quiet. Noel continued to do the same, keeping his head bowed; he did not want to interrupt Fang's conversation with Snow, but he was also not ready to face Snow.

Snow spoke next. "But hey, I missed the party! When did you and Vanille break free from crystal stasis? — Vanille too, right? That's really great… I told Noel I'd be sure to introduce him to you if I got the chance, but looks like you're already acquainted?"

"Yeah." Fang paused; Noel, whose head was bowed, neither opened his eyes nor turned to Fang to see what had caused her to grow silent. "We woke up some time ago. Can't really remember the number of days anymore, it's all been a bit of a blur. We had to sit through medical examinations, but for the most part we're both fine. Our Brands are gone.

"We met Noel for the first time, not long after. He was carrying Hope unconscious in his arms, Noel had no explanation for it. That doctor woman, forget her name, told us Noel and Hope had set out looking for Pulse… no one's sure if they ever succeeded, not even Noel."

"But you're not crystal anymore," reasoned Snow. "Noel's a dependable guy, I'm sure whatever it was that they did was done right."

Noel was gutted upon hearing Snow's compliments. If only Snow knew the truth: he wasn't dependable, not at all. He couldn't even protect Serah as he'd been asked….

"Who knows? Noel can't even say what happened. Only Hope knows, but he's still out cold. I'm willing to bet his unconsciousness is linked to whatever he did that set me and Vanille free." As Noel listened to Fang's words, he began to wonder for himself: Was Hope still unconscious, even now? Had Hope really met Pulse, or had Hope only spoken with Titan? Once more he was reminded of all his questions that continued to remain unanswered, questions he'd forced himself to leave behind when he set off with Fang and the Lieutenant. But now that he was captive here, bound to a wall in a dark room, Noel had nothing to entertain him but Fang's conversation and his thoughts.

Noel grew anxious. What _had_ Hope done? Would Hope ever wake up? Had he really failed to protect Hope, just as he'd failed to save Yeul and Serah?

_Serah._

The thought of her only continued to eat at him. Noel needed to tell Snow soon_…._

Fang continued, "Long story short, Noel proposed we rescue you before you fell into enemy hands again. He trusted you would be able to put up a fight on your own. Met him before, have you?"

"Yeah, he and Serah got me out of a tight spot at the Sunleth Waterscape." There, Snow had said it, he had mentioned Serah's name. Any moment now, Snow would ask him where Serah was…. "What about Lightning? Is she safe?"

"Afraid I haven't heard anything on her. I must've woken up right about when you did. I only had the benefit of listening to the well-informed, but I'm afraid even I don't know everything yet. You, on the other hand, landed yourself in enemy hands. Turned to crystal, did ya? How do you figure that one?"

"Can't explain it myself," said Snow in the casual tone he always used. Even now, Noel didn't like it much. "But hey, I'm back in action and raring to go!"

"Back in action my ass, you're tied to a wall." Fang scoffed, her voice dripping with disapproval. "Trying to get yourself killed, eh? Becoming a l'Cie, what were you thinking?"

"Some things, you just gotta do."

"Yeah? — Well, I guess I could agree with that. But… no use fussing over it now. Vanille and I've not got our Brands. You're not a l'Cie anymore either, are you?"

Snow did not reply immediately. Noel strained his ears to listen harder, Snow's hesitation having caught his interest. Noel had asked himself this, too. Gregor had referred to Snow as the l'Cie, but Noel assumed Gregor was merely misinformed. After all, what would Gregor know, except that Snow had once been the crystal he'd procured at Port Dexum? But then, if Snow were still a l'Cie while Fang and Vanille had lost their Brands, what _had _Hope accomplished? Whatever arrangement Hope had made, was Snow exempt from it?

Snow's response did little to appease Noel's wandering thoughts.

"Funny, I haven't thought to check. Remind me to check when we get outta here."

"You can't be serious?" asked Fang in disbelief, perhaps a little too loudly. Noel wondered if the soldiers on duty would berate them….

Snow, it seemed, was quite serious. "Hey! I was too busy staying alive! But, I'm pretty sure I'm still a l'Cie. I don't think even someone like me would have survived this long if I weren't a l'Cie anymore. It's funny, actually. I had this dream, you know? Right before I woke up, it was like I asked to stay a l'Cie for a little longer. Can't really explain it, but…."

"Is that all you remember from that dream?" asked Noel, the words escaping him before he could stop himself. Well, so much for his cover. As both Fang and Snow turned to acknowledge him, Noel continued. "You think you had that dream about the same time Hope and I encountered Titan?"

"Nice of you to join us," Fang said offhandedly before turning on Snow. "But I got the same question. You think that dream has anything to do with you still being a l'Cie despite Vanille and I losing our Brands? You think someone was actually giving you the choice?"

"I… think so? It's pretty hazy, had that dream quite some time ago. Had I known I was going to be tested on it, I would've thought to remember more." Snow chuckled, as if amused by a joke, before turning to Noel. "Now that there's no one after our backs, I can talk to you properly. I heard about Hope, you think he's okay? And hey, where's Serah? She back with Hope?"

There. Snow had finally mentioned Serah. But how to tell him without causing too much disturbance? — not that Snow was wrong to react to news about his fiancée, but Noel did not want to draw the attention of the soldiers on duty, especially not after they had already exhibited earlier signs of violence. Noel did want to take responsibility for what had happened to Serah, while at the same time making it clear that her passing was something he could not have prevented. But would Snow listen to him long enough?

Perhaps in an attempt to buy himself some time to think, Noel chose to first talk about Hope.

"I haven't heard any news on Hope since we left. I doubt we'll be hearing anything new until we get out of this mess. As for — "

"I wouldn't push our luck," Fang interjected, before Noel could segue into the subject of Serah. "We're headed toward public execution. I don't fancy being killed, so we might want to 'get out of this mess' sooner rather than later."

"Yeah, but you got any ideas?"

"I've got one," Lieutenant Strike said coolly. All heads turned to him, as if they were only just reminded of his presence. "But you're going to have to play along."

"Play along? Sure thing, Pops, what d'you got?" Noel was also curious, but the Lieutenant did not elaborate further, choosing instead to reprimand Snow for his choice in nicknames. The Lieutenant, it seemed, was sensitive about his age. Noel wondered why the Lieutenant had only now chosen to propose an escape route, considering they'd already spent several hours being held captive, but he quickly reasoned Lieutenant Strike had likely been waiting for Snow to wake up.

After the Lieutenant made it clear that he would not be disclosing the details of his plans, and once the four agreed to play along, the Lieutenant began to curse loudly, uttering obscenities Noel thought to be highly uncharacteristic of his former superior. Figuring this outburst to be what he was meant to be 'playing along' with, Noel did not voice any of his concerns.

"Are you _mad_?" Snow hissed, but the Lieutenant ignored him and did not relent in his shouting, not even as one of the soldiers reentered their room. Noel heard the snapping of a whip against the wall, as if in an attempt to quash the ruckus, but what was meant to be a threat only caused the Lieutenant's anger to swell.

"Get me the hell outta here!"

"What the hell's going on?" snapped the soldier as he cracked his whip again. The Lieutenant did not seem the least bit intimidated.

"You tell me!" shouted back the Lieutenant. "Why the hell am I locked up with these criminals?" At these words Snow protested once more, appearing to have forgotten the meaning of the words _play along_, and though his shouting was rather incomprehensible he began to yell at the Lieutenant for _his _name calling; Noel, meanwhile, was caught in the midst of what appeared to be a shouting match, and as he silently watched the three men shout at each other Noel started to wonder if this was really what the Lieutenant had in mind.

"Don't try to fool me! You're a lieutenant of the Academy's militia! I have every order to watch over you and your lot until we arrive!"

"You dimwit, I'm not some lieutenant, I'm Gregor's _brother_!"

"Y-You're what, n-now?" cried the soldier, though these words of shock could have come from anyone. Noel had certainly not expected this much. A quick glance around the room told Noel that Fang and Snow were just as lost as he was.

"Ulhelm Strigor… Strigor for short. You got the wrong man, untie me at once!" The soldier was clearly overwhelmed by the situation and seemed to not know whether to believe the Lieutenant, and the longer he worried himself over his course of action the louder the Lieutenant continued to yell. Noel had no idea how far to believe his once-superior's tale. Was the Lieutenant really related to Gregor, or was it a bluff to help them escape? If it were the latter, Noel would have to compliment the Lieutenant later for his quick thinking.

After a few moments the soldier appeared to have come to a decision and started to prepare for Lieutenant Strike's release. Noel silently noted the soldier's ineptness: Had there even been an attempt to radio his superiors for clarification? Had the soldier simply taken the Lieutenant's word as truth? What if Gregor didn't have a brother? Besides, the four of them had been brought here directly from their fight with Gregor, so how could there have even been that mix up?

Noel wasn't complaining, though. It was a stroke of luck that the Lieutenant's plan had worked, even if only the Lieutenant was being let go at the moment, and now that the Lieutenant appeared to have thought up more than a mere shouting match Noel found himself more able to trust in him. Now, there was definitely a chance they would be able to escape before public execution became a reality.

What happened next, Noel wasn't so sure. One moment the Lieutenant was being released, the next moment a shrill cry filled the room, and still after that Noel was being set free from his restraints. Despite the surprise factor and his previous altitude, Noel landed soundly on his feet, and he was soon joined by Fang and Snow, the latter turning on the Lieutenant upon his landing.

"What the hell was that?" demanded Snow; Noel had similar thoughts, but he did not voice them. The Lieutenant only raised a hand to silence him, but it was too late: within moments several more soldiers burst through the door, shouting jailbreak. Noel reached for his dual swords, only to realize he'd been disarmed; Fang and Snow, who appeared to have already come to this realization (though, in Snow's case, his fists _were_ his weapon. weren't they?), responded immediately, and it wasn't long of a fist fight before both soldiers fell to the ground, unconscious.

"We need to move," said Lieutenant Strike quickly, turning to the bodies that now lay motionless. "He'll come around soon, probably alert someone. Maybe it'd be better to take his communication device with us, if he's got one. After all that noise we made, I wouldn't be surprised if someone was already on their way."

"Where to, then?" asked Snow, rubbing his hands together in excitement. "Should we knock out this Gregor guy — "

"We'll need to find our stuff, first," interjected Fang. She bent over the soldier's unconscious body and patted down the uniform until she came across what appeared to be an ID card. "No name," she added, once she examined the card, "but could be handy to take with us, just in case."

"Nothing else?" asked the Lieutenant, and Fang shook her head. "Right. We'll have to check every room until we find our belongings, then, without drawing too much attention to ourselves. Once we're armed we can stop to talk. I'll take the lead — Snow, watch our backs. Noel, Fang, keep your wits about you."

"Wait," said Noel, a sudden thought occurring to him, and though the Lieutenant told him that they could not afford the delay he heard Noel out nevertheless. "I think I could fit into this uniform. If we can find one for each of us, then maybe we wouldn't look as suspicious?"

"Fair point," replied the Lieutenant. "I don't think we'll be able to find uniforms just anywhere, but it's a good start." So, with the help of Snow and the Lieutenant, Noel removed the soldier of his Ambassadors' uniform and fit himself into it. Admittedly it felt a bit strange to wear the man's clothes (especially the lower half of the uniform, as it was more tightly fitted than what he was used to), but Noel found himself not too bothered so long as he didn't think about it very much.

Afterward they began their escape, moving lightly yet quickly. The hallways they passed were different from those Noel remembered from before, though just as before they were strangely vacant. These hallways were narrower and more brightly lit. Though doors lined the halls, none of them would open, not even when Fang tried waving the ID card around.

"There's no slot?" asked Lieutenant Strike in hushed whisper, and Fang shook her head and handed him the card to try for himself. After several more unsuccessful attempts they were left with no choice but to press on. As they walked, Noel glanced down to look at himself carefully. The only possession he appeared to be missing were his swords. More importantly, he could feel the cords on his right arm intact, to his relief; though his life as a hunter at the ends of the world was a life now long lost, Noel wasn't sure how he would have felt if they'd been removed during his captivity. Even if life as he once knew it was fading, he was still the same person….

Noel's mind lingered upon this last thought. He began to wonder what kind of life he would be able to live when this was all over. He couldn't even imagine what the state of the world would be in by that time. Noel doubted that the merging of their world with Valhalla was an easily reversible process; Noel had a feeling that, once the chaos from Valhalla was fully unleashed onto their world, the damage would be irreparable. There was also the question of whom he'd spend his time with. Noel would only have Hope, now that Yeul and Caius were no longer with him —

_And Serah_, Noel added to himself. He glanced over his shoulder at Snow. The Lieutenant had said there would be no time to stop and talk until they'd found their belongings again, but Noel couldn't put it off any longer. Noel needed to tell him what had happened to Serah, but he did not want to lose Snow either. He was sure Snow would not take that news well, and he did not want to cause Snow to lose his vigor. He did not want to give Snow a reason to stop fighting.

No. Noel needed to do this now, while he still had the chance.

"No more excuses," Noel muttered to himself, falling back to match Snow's stride. Snow, having heard him, frowned and turned to face Noel once they were walking beside each other.

"You say something, Noel?"

Noel nodded quickly.  
>The moment had finally come.<p>

"We need to talk… about Serah."

* * *

><p>When Hope reopened his eyes, he was met with silence. Sometime during his recollection Vanille had returned to her seat. Her head was now bowed, her hands buried in her lap. Hope could tell she was troubled, he knew her well enough to read the signs. Despite these signs, she hadn't yelled at him, hadn't interrupted him, hadn't yet cried… she seemed to be taking the truth better than he had expected her to, though he knew Vanille held her emotions in well.<p>

Hope wanted to ask her what she thought of his decisions, how she felt about what he'd done, if she was disappointed in him — but before he could get the chance they were interrupted by a knocking upon the door.

"Sorry," said a voice laden with an accent Hope now knew well, "I heard Director Estheim's voice. Is he awake?"

Hope turned to the door. Now standing in their presence was Colonel Euledin, who was leaning slightly against the door frame as he regarded each of them in turn. Hope detected a faint grimace upon the Colonel's face.

"Sir," replied Hope, nodding his head quickly to acknowledge the Colonel. "Sorry for the trouble."

"It's good to see you've come round," said Colonel Euledin. There wasn't the usual harshness in his voice, though his mannerisms were otherwise the same. Hope was curious: Had something changed, or was the Colonel only playing it soft with him because he had just recovered?

"For how long was I out?"

The question had been intended for the Colonel, but from the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of Vanille counting off the days with her fingers — and something else now caught his eye. His gaze snapped to her direction, as if to properly examine her hand.

"Hey, Vanille, what happened to your — ?"

"It's nothing!" cried Vanille, burying her hand in her lap once more. But before she could provide any further defense, the Colonel interjected.

"Your friend told you the truth just now. Don't you think you ought to fess up?"

Both Hope and Vanille turned to the Colonel, each regarding him with a different expression. So the Colonel had heard, then. For a moment Hope also wondered what the Colonel thought of his choice in decisions, considering he had initially been so opposed to Hope's course of action. At the very least, the Colonel didn't appear to be angry with him, and Hope knew the Colonel was generally blunt and easy to read.

Just as Hope whispered to the Colonel his pleas for keeping the truth a secret to everyone else ("Especially Noel," said Hope, "I don't think I can tell him just yet."), Vanille began to speak.

"Hope, I'm sorry. When we last spoke, I didn't tell you what really happened when Fang and I were separated. But see…" and here she properly raised her right hand to Hope. Several of her fingers were shorter than they should've been, as if her fingertips had been removed, though there were no bodily signs indicating her fingers could have once been longer. Either several of Vanille's fingers had always been that short or they had shrunken in length, the latter of which Hope doubted.

"My crystal statue and Fang's did not detach where they should have, and several fingertips broke off where they shouldn't have. But it's nothing, Hope, really! I've got all my fingers still, though they're slightly odd in size, and Fang's got all hers. Everyone's been making a big fuss, especially Fang — she keeps saying I'm missing most of my hand, but it's just a couple of fingertips! — but frankly, I'm just grateful to be alive."

Hope remained silent as he took in Vanille's words. Truthfully the fact did not bother him at all, especially through the perspective of Vanille's last words. He, too, was only glad Vanille was alive and well, not in crystal stasis. Hope was still trying to discern her current standpoint; Vanille was good with keeping in her emotions, and in light of what he had admitted to her only moments before Hope wasn't sure how Vanille felt about him.

"You're okay," said Hope after a time, borrowing the words she had once given him. Vanille then broke into a sigh of relief, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Am I okay, though?"

"Sure thing," she replied, raising her head and giving him her cheeriest smile. "We'll talk later, Hope. But yes, you're okay."

"I hate to interrupt again," said the Colonel after clearing his throat, as if to make his presence known in an otherwise heartfelt moment; "but to address the real reason why I'm here — and great timing on your awakening I might add, Director —"

"Just call me Hope," said Hope. "You never used to call me Director that much, and I know your preference is for Director Haussen."

"Right… Hope it is." The Colonel paused for a moment, turning to both Hope and Vanille before speaking again. "Can you walk? I came to summon Miss Vanille, here, but since you're awake I'm sure you'd make a welcome addition." Hope frowned at these words, and without immediate delay he got up and followed the Colonel out of the room, Vanille alongside him. As he turned to Vanille, who regarded him with an equally puzzled look, the Colonel continued to explain: "You've been summoned for a strategy briefing, though I suspect it's almost reached conclusion. While you were out, we received a distress call from Sazh Katzroy."

"Sazh?" echoed Hope. "Where is he?" So, the Colonel began to enlighten Hope with the rescue mission the Academy had initiated not even a day ago. Hope had to admit, he was impressed that Noel thought to rescue Snow.

"Something's jamming the signal, though," continued the Colonel. "No one's been responding to our communications. Katzroy's distress call came directly from the airship, says the communication devices haven't been working well within the Thirteenth Ark. More importantly, the rescue party was taken captive, though they were able to reunite with Snow."

"No!" Vanille gasped suddenly. Hope understood the sentiment. She was likely thinking of Fang, just as Hope was concerned for Noel.

"So this strategy briefing is about rescuing the rescue party, then?" asked Hope, and the Colonel nodded.

"Katzroy says he'll go into hiding. Supposedly Gregor is planning a public execution, and we can't have that." At these words the three came to a stop in front of the strategy briefing room. Hope was too familiar with it now, having already sat inside that large room more than he would've liked. He could already hear Ellen's voice, but before he could enter the room the Colonel reached for him, holding him back. As fingers clasped around Hope's wrist a sudden shock coursed through Hope, causing him to jump.

Hope had a suspicion he knew the cause.

"Miss Vanille, go on ahead," said the Colonel. "Hope, a word?"

Hope nodded, somewhat worried. What could the Colonel want? Though the Colonel had been strangely softer to him today than on most days, they didn't exactly have a good history together. Hope knew Colonel Euledin had trust issues with him, ever since the beginning, so Hope could only begin to imagine what this could be about. As his concern grew, Hope failed to notice Vanille waving to him as she left his side and entered the room.

"Don't look at me like that, I don't mean harm." The sharp words caused Hope to look the Colonel straight into his eyes, and Hope was met with an expression that hardly matched the man's words. Colonel Euledin seemed apologetic, almost. "Like I said before, I overheard your little story to Vanille, so I wanted to apologize for my bad timing. Your secret won't leave me, I swear on it."

Hope blinked, slightly confused. Was that all he wanted to say? Hope hadn't doubted that the Colonel might.

When Hope relayed these thoughts, the Colonel shook his head and continued, "More than that, Hope. I also wanted to apologize. I've been giving you a hard time, so let me explain myself. You're out of the norm, and I disliked that. The militia division, the research division… they were all mighty fine until you appeared. Hell, _everything _was fine until you showed up. Then again, a part of me knew that was why you showed up, because things were about to get nasty, but I didn't want to trust that. From my experience, trust is everything. You can't trust your enemies, you can't trust the dead, you can't trust strangers. You don't let your guard down for just anyone — to me, you were just a man who talked ideals. You didn't build Bhunivelze, you only proposed the idea. You wanted good for the world, and I respected that much, but I never saw you do a damn thing.

"That said, you proved me wrong. Giving up your life to save your friends — that ain't something a man of all talk just does. You put yourself on the line, trusted in your colleagues despite the unfamiliarity… you're more of a man than I could ever be. I know it's not much coming from someone who couldn't learn to trust in others, but I hope we can put differences aside from this point onward and work to save the world together."

Colonel Euledin stopped there. A silence settled between them, though the Colonel's words continued to echo in Hope's head. Hope was at a loss of words. He knew the Colonel had not liked him much, though he hadn't understood the extent of that perspective, and though he was provoked and slightly irritated by the Colonel's side remarks Hope did understand those belonged to the Colonel of the past. What he said was true, and Hope had acknowledged it before. Hope had wanted to stop taking a backseat, had wanted no longer to watch others sacrifice their lives to do good for the world; Hope supposed he was beginning to reap the benefits.

In the end, Hope only managed a stiff nod. The Colonel took the action as sufficient, and after heaving a small sigh he ushered Hope into the room. They were met by a small group of scientists and lieutenant colonels; Ellen and Vanille were already waving to Hope, who was still muted from his conversation with the Colonel; once Hope took notice, however, he recovered quickly, and after flashing the Colonel's an apologetic smile Hope left his side to join them.

"Hope!" Ellen cried, smiling brightly at him as he drew near. "Vanille told me the news!"

"News?" asked Hope, looking alarmed. _News_? — but as it turned out Vanille had not told Ellen anything, and the 'news' Ellen spoke of was referring to his general consciousness. "Oh, yeah…"

"Glad to see you're well!" continued Ellen, and Hope nodded. "How're you feeling? You've been brought up to speed, then?"

"All right, I suppose. What's the situation?"

Ellen eyed him for a moment. It was clear she did not want to leave the subject of Hope's well-being and the circumstances surrounding his previous unconsciousness, but she quickly dropped the matter and returned to the issue at hand. "We're assembling a team to retrieve the four hostages. Now that you're awake, I presume you'll want to come along? — or do you need more rest?"

"I'm fine. I'd like to come, if that's all right." As he said this, Hope subconsciously reached for his wrist. He could almost feel the Brand pulsing through his clothes. He was scared to confirm it with his own eyes, nor did he dare do so with so many people present. "If there's room for me, that is."

"You're always welcome," said Ellen warmly, "and I'm sure Noel would appreciate it. I think he spent more time by your side than he spent sleeping. Though that doesn't say much since he slept with you, too."

"He slept with me?"

"Mm, he fell asleep by your bedside."

"Oh, right." The more he thought on it, the more Hope could picture Noel hunched over his bed with concern. Hope was surprised that Noel had left his side at all — _All the more reason I can't tell him the truth_, Hope added to himself bitterly. He could only begin to imagine how worried Noel must've been. After all, Noel didn't have an explanation for what had happened, and it was obvious he hadn't blacked out for nearly as long as Hope had. Hope wouldn't be surprised if Noel had blamed himself… somehow, Hope suspected Noel had done exactly that.

The conversation had continued on without Hope. Ellen was now talking about things Hope didn't understand in context, though he was able to follow the theories behind what she was saying. Apparently the Thirteenth Ark was once protected by security barriers that the Ambassadors had erected since their occupation of the floating fortress, but the Academy managed to breach them with Sazh's airship. As he understood it, the Ambassadors had yet to repair those barriers.

"Entry into the Ark won't be made any easier than this," she concluded. "If we're going to embark we should do so soon. I can take a fleet, since Sazh is presently unable to leave the Ark. The question at hand is whether we want to launch an assault or keep this strictly a rescue operation."

"Took the words out of my mouth," added the Colonel, but before he could offer further words Hope stepped forward.

"Hold on, wouldn't it be a bad thing for you to go? That wouldn't be appeasing Gregor's demands, would it?"

But the Director merely shrugged and gave no further acknowledgement of the question. Hope suspected Ellen had her own motives in visiting the Thirteenth Ark; then again, so did he. Hope had always had interest in the Thirteenth Ark, ever since he'd seen it aloft in Academia's skies. But it was more than just Graviton Cores, now. The Thirteenth Ark was mentioned on multiple accounts in the mythological texts he'd read, Hope knew it could not be a coincidence. He needed to visit the Ark for himself.

He also needed to save Noel. That was important, too.

Then there was that thing he'd said to Pulse, that Light would only awaken and relinquish the gate once they were all reunited — on the Thirteenth Ark, Hope was sure of it.

'_And the Thirteenth Ark will be the salvation for all of Pulse's children_…' It only continued to make more sense as Hope repeated the words to himself in his head. He'd even said it to Pulse, though he hadn't understood the implications of his conclusion in that moment:

They, the ex-Pulse l'Cie, were Pulse's children.

Together, with Light, they would fight the battle that must be fought, the menace beyond: Valhalla.

His conclusions weren't proven fact, but Hope could not see another explanation; consequently, Hope was carried away in the thought. Fang, Sazh and Snow were already on the Thirteenth Ark, and he and Vanille would soon join them. He had already saved Fang, Vanille and Snow, and he was already so close to saving Light, too….

_But what about Serah_, Hope thought to himself, _would she need to be there, too?_

"Hope?" Hope shook the thoughts from his head, if only for the moment, and turned to the Director.

"Hmm?"

"Meeting adjourned, were you not listening? Prepare to embark in half an hour's time."

"Sorry. I won't be late, I promise." Hope then excused himself from the Director's presence and hurriedly made for his and Noel's tent. There was a lot he still needed to get done in half an hour's time. He tried to retain the conclusions from his previous train of thought, though the smaller details were beginning to leave him. There was something biting at him, as if there were something important he was meant to consider but had not yet thought of, but consumed in his excitement Hope pushed it aside and thought nothing more on it.

* * *

><p>Despite his first words, Noel had chosen to approach the subject by first speaking about Yeul: her nature as a seeress and how she could not avoid her fate. Noel hoped that by stressing the inevitability of Serah's passing, Snow's reaction would be less severe. Naturally, the more Noel talked about Yeul's fate the more Snow began to grow wary, and before Noel could even reach the bridge connecting Yeul and Serah Snow had already put two and two together.<p>

"Is Serah…?" began Snow, and Noel grimaced and nodded stiffly as his reply. He caught sympathetic glances from Fang and the Lieutenant, who were walking ahead of them, but he was mostly concerned for Snow. Snow's head was now bowed, his steps slowing to a stop, his breathing loud and shallow….

"But why?" asked Snow, and though his voice was harsh it had somehow been contained in a whisper. It was the same reaction he'd had, Noel noted to himself, and Noel could only begin to imagine Snow's turmoil. Noel had known Serah well, but what more for Snow, who had been _engaged_ to her? — but Noel could not think on it, for Snow had come to a complete stop and called for the group to do the same.

"I can't do this."

"Snow — "

"Just give me a moment, I need to take this in. You guys go on ahead."

"You'll only be worse off," countered the Lieutenant. Noel had to agree. He thought upon his days at the bunkers, how he had joined the military per Hope's suggestion to keep himself from thinking too much. (Had Hope explicitly given him this reasoning? Noel was no longer sure, but being busy with civilian protection had certainly helped him cope.) If Snow were to remain here then he would only drown in despair, and were the Ambassadors to find him here Noel suspected Snow would be too consumed to put up much of a fight.

Noel voiced these concerns, earning no defense from Snow. His suspicions were confirmed, but not before Fang called out to them.

"There's something up ahead."

Even this had caught Snow's attention. True to Fang's word, heaps of unconscious bodies lay before them. As Noel took a better look at his surroundings he soon realized that they had returned to the location where they fought Gregor before.

"They didn't even try hiding this mess," said Fang, nudging the body closest to her with her foot. "Well, this solves the uniform issue. Take your pick?"

Thus, the next half hour was spent sifting through piles of dead bodies for the cleanest uniforms to borrow. Noel, who was already wearing his, searched in Snow's stead, if not to distract himself from thoughts of Snow's anguish; Snow, who was off to the side, appeared to be taking the time to gather himself as he'd initially proposed. But finding disguises was not an easy task, as many of the uniforms were bloodstained and most would not fit Fang or Snow due to their drastically different body types.

Still, what made Noel most uneasy was the evident lack of soldier presence.

"You think something's happened?" Noel asked Lieutenant Strike offhandedly, once their search was drawing to a close. "We couldn't possibly have wiped out all their men."

"Maybe," replied the Lieutenant as he fitted himself with his new outfit. "That, or no one's patrolling. We still don't know the reason why they brought Snow's statue to the Thirteenth Ark in the first place. They might have other priorities."

Noel said nothing to these words. He was reminded of when he and Hope had first seen the Ambassadors' ships flying in the skies of Gran Pulse, how Hope had grown excited upon pinpointing the airships' destination. Then, Noel had suspected it to be a trap, as he was certain the Ambassadors were aware of both directors' interests in the Thirteenth Ark. Now, Noel was more willing to believe that the Ambassadors might've had a higher purpose.

Fang and Snow joined them shortly after, each of them wearing an oddly sized suit: Fang's was too large, and Snow's was slightly undersized. Once they were assembled, they began talk of their next course of action. As it turned out, the room they were in was a crossroads of sorts, so figuring out their sense of direction was the first task at hand.

"We came from this way, just now," said Noel, pointing to the brightly lit passage before them. He then raised his left hand, pointing to another passage. "We started over there, pretty sure, which means this last path is where…"

All eyes turned to Noel as his sentence came to a dying stop. Noel had wanted to say "where the Lieutenant and I found Snow," but he caught the glimmer of something shiny from the corner of his eye. Noel turned to examine the cause, as did the others, and they were met with a pleasant surprise that had somehow escaped them during their previous search for uniforms.

"They _really_ didn't clean up, then," said Fang, picking up her double-bladed spear. "It's like we hadn't been gone at all."

As Noel picked his swords off the floor, he began to reflect upon Fang's words. Coupled with the lack of soldier presence, Noel was fostering a similar suspicion. Everything had been left in disarray, as if someone was meant to stumble upon the remains of their battle….

"This is what I think," said Noel after a moment. "The four of us get detained, Gregor puts the word out that he intends to execute us. Suspecting reinforcements, he leaves our weapons in the masses to psyche them out, as evidence that we were once here. Gregor then catches the reinforcements off guard and executes them along with us. What he doesn't count on is us breaking free and returning to the scene first."

"It's a start," said the Lieutenant. "Sounds like something he'd do. Except Gregor's not here to capture us. If what you say is true, he would have likely kept this place under better watch."

There was a pause between them as they continued to think over their situation. In that moment, Noel wanted to ask the Lieutenant if he and Gregor were really related, having just been reminded of the Lieutenant's previous 'bluff,' but before he could manage the question the silence was interrupted by Snow's mumbling:

"Was she mad at me?"

Noel turned to Snow in disbelief. She, as in Serah? Had Snow really asked him this? Why would he think…?

"What? No, of course she wasn't."

"Did she say anything about me?" continued Snow. "Before she … was there anything she wanted to say to me?"

Noel shook his head. Serah's passing had been too sudden. There was no way she could've prepared any last words for Snow. Noel tried to communicate this to Snow, though Snow did not appear to take in any of his words.

"When I left her to find Light, when I put our engagement on hold, I was sure she was upset with me. And now, she's… gone… I don't want to believe it, not until I've seen her myself, but if what you say is true — "

"It's true."

Snow closed his eyes, exhaling softly. "Then I only hope her last thought of me wasn't a bitter one. I don't know what I'm meant to do, now that there's no Serah… she was everything to me."

"I'm sorry… Snow, I'm sorry." Noel turned away for a moment to distract himself from the burning sensation in his chest. The Lieutenant and Fang had wandered away from them and were pointing down one of the passageways, their conversation incomprehensible from where Noel stood. Gulping down his emotions, Noel returned to Snow and added, "You told me to protect her, and I couldn't."

"Nothing you could do," said Snow.

It was meant to be encouragement, but Snow could not keep the bitterness from his voice.

Noel continued. "But I promise you. Serah never doubted you. You never left her mind, she stood by you until the very end."

Snow did not reply immediately, and in the silence that followed Noel only prayed that his words would have an impact on Snow. He meant it all, of course: No matter the situation, no matter how much trouble Noel gave Serah, she had always stood up for Snow, had always believed in him. Noel was then reminded of her grief at the Sunleth Waterscape, when she'd discovered his l'Cie Brand, and as her cries filled his head there was no doubt in his mind that Serah had truly loved Snow.

Always.

"She loved you, Snow."

"And she's _gone_."

Noel's heart pained at these words.

"What am I meant to do?" continued Snow. "What did _you_ do, Noel?"

"Me? You mean to cope?"

Noel still knew that moment well. He'd been on the airship to Port Dexum when it occurred to him that Serah would live on through her dreams and her ideals, that to keep Serah's dream alive was to protect Hope. He told these things to Snow, how Hope had become someone important to him, how he'd given himself a new purpose: to serve Hope as a means of atoning for his mistakes in allowing Yeul and Serah to come to harm.

"Give yourself purpose," said Noel. "Don't just give up because she's gone. Serah died on the belief she'd saved the world. I think a good start would be to protect the world she worked so hard to save."

"Protect the world, huh." Snow repeated the words to himself several times, decisively nodding to himself after a while. "Hey, Noel. Got someone you love?"

Noel tried his best to keep the color from his face.

"Why the sudden question?"

Snow shrugged, a smug grin upon his face as he spoke. "Dunno, you were beginning to sound like Mr. Love Doctor over here or something. Thought maybe you were speaking from experience."

Noel frowned, brow furrowed from the peculiarity of the question. Was it that Snow suspected him of having loved Serah, or was there really no ulterior motivation to the question? He supposed Snow had a valid reason to ask… or, perhaps, making a joke out of the moment was Snow's way of cheering himself up?

"Not sure," Noel said at last. "Maybe I do love someone, maybe I don't. But you're right about one thing. I was speaking from experience. I've lost one too many good people in my life. No more."

The Lieutenant and Fang were now returning, Noel could see them from a distance. Noel turned to Snow once more, relieved that he'd been able to calm Snow down, even if only a little bit. Noel nodded his head over to the rest of their company — a suggestion that they meet them halfway — and as Snow nodded in agreement he added in a quieter voice.

"I believe in you, Noel."

But when Noel asked Snow to elaborate, Snow refused to explain himself.

* * *

><p>In his preparations Hope came upon several observations. The first was the atmosphere of the people who greeted him upon his return to the bunkers. There was a certain thickness to the air. Hope could no longer hear the laughter of oblivious children; he heard a soldier in passing remark how these days families were keeping to their own tents. It wasn't surprising to Hope, though it made him uneasy. He was sure the people were beginning to grow restless after days and days of no good news, and the thought that they might never be able to return to their homes was surely only adding to their despair.<p>

Even Dajh, who was normally cheerful, seemed somewhat down. As Hope gathered things from his tent, Dajh poked his head into the opening of the tent and greeted him halfheartedly.

"Heya, Hope."

"Hey." Hope was already finished, as there was not much here he needed to collect, but he allowed himself a few minutes to catch up with Dajh. "How's Mog? Have you been taking good care of him?"

"Of course!" Only then did Hope notice that the lifeless Mog was still in Dajh's embrace. Had he ever set Mog down even once, Hope began to wonder, but guilt took over that thought. Distracted by thoughts of saving his friends, Hope had completely forgotten to follow up on Mog's condition. Hope had made very little progress on that front, and even Ellen hadn't been able to come up with any valid explanations; a part of Hope was relying on the possibility that in saving Light and the world he would also save Mog. There just wasn't enough known on the subject of moogles from which to draw any sound conclusions.

"Have you heard from my dad?" continued Dajh. "He's been gone for a little while now."

"He went to rescue Snow," replied Hope. He did not know how often Sazh and Ellen informed him of current events: the boy seemed unfazed at the sight of Hope being conscious once more, so Hope suspected Dajh hadn't been told that much. To not tell Dajh about his father's distress call was probably for the better, Hope decided.

"Aw, okay. Are you headed somewhere too? Don't be gone for too long, okay? It gets pretty lonely down here, none of the kids come out to play anymore. I know everyone's out saving the world and all… I just wish Daddy would let me come with him, too."

"It's dangerous out there," said Hope grimly. "You know he's just looking out for you."

Hope's second observation was on the subject of Serah, which occurred not too long after he'd said goodbye to Dajh, when he was already on his way to his house to gather more materials. He had come across Vanille on the way out, and by her request she was accompanying him there. "I want to see Serah," was what she had told him, and Hope could not deny her this. Naturally Vanille had other motivations in joining him, though Hope expected this.

"Don't know your new Focus, then?" Vanille asked, and Hope could only shake his head solemnly in reply. "Guess they never do, huh?"

The subject of their conversation did not remain on him for very long, though, as the sight of Serah was enough for Vanille to drop her previous concerns. Vanille gasped softly, and as she fell to her knees she clasped her hands over Serah to pray over her. In an attempt to distract himself, Hope busied himself with his preparations and thoughts. Most of his supplies had been depleted during his time spent with Noel on Pulse, so he would need to replenish those in case they would be needed on the Thirteenth Ark.

Hope could not stop thinking about the other Pulse, however. He was a l'Cie again. He would be able to use magic again! He would no longer feel useless in the fight for their world, though he would have to be careful around Noel since Noel knew of his struggles with magic usage —

But Hope didn't know his Focus. On the one hand, Hope wasn't too concerned about his fal'Cie-given Focus: He had given himself his own Focus, so to speak. But on the other hand, what if his 'Focus' interfered with ensuring the world's and his friends' safety? He and Pulse had come to an agreement, but had his Focus been explicitly mentioned? Was it to awaken Light? For their world and the Valhalla to merge? To bring about Etro's Gate? — and should Hope succeed, would he be granted pardon, be reunited in _whatever turmoil befalls this world_, or would he turn to crystal for having completed his Focus? Worse yet, would he turn to Cieth?

Hope was finally beginning to understand the implications of the gamble he'd taken. In taking a step toward saving his friends, he had sacrificed his life. Vanille, Fang and Snow were freed from their fates, with Light soon to follow. But he had doomed his own life, hadn't he? In some sense he'd prepared for this, he knew his friends had made sacrifices in doing good for the world, he had set out to honor those sacrifices. Even in meeting Pulse, Hope had not backed down. he had stood by his resolve. But now that he had the time to reflect upon his actions…?

"Are you troubled?" asked Vanille, rousing Hope from his thoughts. "Regret?"

"Maybe…" Hope sighed, turning to face her. She was now on her feet, back turned to the lifeless Serah. "I know I told you I wasn't after becoming a l'Cie, but in the end that's what I became. I know, I let you down. I guess I've only just started to think about just what it means to have become a l'Cie again… I got carried away."

But Vanille only shook her head. "No, Hope, you haven't. Your actions have only proven your character, wouldn't you agree? There are a lot of people who would not have done what you did. It's true, I was shocked when you told me what had really happened. But I'm not disappointed in you, Hope. We're facing the end of the world, aren't we? You've come to accept reality better than most of us. I know being a l'Cie is a terrifying thing, but the sacrifice you made… I don't think any of the others could be mad at you after what you've done for them.

"It's important to not lose sight of where we're headed. We have to keep our dreams alive… something to look forward to. And if it begins to hurt, if you begin to regret? — think of the future, when everything tides over. Think of Light, of Noel — all of us, in a world we saved together, Hope. A world in which we could not exist together had it not been for what you'd done."

"Will I be alive to see that world?" asked Hope weakly, but Vanille only raised a finger at him.

"Ah, but what did I just say about regretting what you've done? The past can't be changed, Hope, not any longer. Think of the future, okay? Until we reach there, Hope, remember that you can always count on me to support you."

Hope could not think of any words to give Vanille. He could always count on her to give him comfort, and he was glad that much hadn't changed since his childhood. Overwhelmed with gratitude, he could only offer her a smile, rubbing the back of his neck abashedly before turning to Serah.

"Serah, too," he whispered. "The future, I mean. Noel and I promised to say goodbye to her properly when this is all over. That's something else I can look forward to."

"That's the spirit." Vanille sighed softly as she placed a hand — her good hand — upon Hope's shoulder. "Speaking of spirit… Serah hasn't passed yet. You know this, right?"

At these words Hope frowned. Hasn't passed? — what could Vanille mean?

"Don't get me wrong," said Vanille quickly, sensing Hope's confusion; "I don't think Serah's going to come back. But her spirit is still wandering, she hasn't properly passed. I don't really know how to explain it, it's because Etro's gone that…"

Vanille trailed off, unsure of how to finish her sentence. At the mention of Etro's name, a thought occurred to Hope. Was it because Etro was no longer there to greet mankind upon death? Hope tried to recall the exact wording from the mythological texts, but nothing concrete came to mind, not with so many other floating thoughts in his head distracting him.

"I think I understand," said Hope slowly. "But what does this mean?"

"I'm not sure," replied Vanille. "But just think of it as a reason to not give up. Serah's not gone, not completely. I'm sure wherever she is, she's watching over you, and Noel, and all of us. So, better not keep her waiting, right? Time to save the world!"

"…did I mention how much I've missed you?" And with that Hope allowed Vanille to take him by the hand to lead them back to headquarters. As they were leaving, Hope took one last glance at Serah, and under his breath he bade her a few last words:

_I told you we would save everyone, Serah. __Next time we meet, I'll have Light with me. I promise._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Posted: <strong>05 Sep 2013  
><strong>Last Edited: <strong>31 Jan 2014

_Upcoming: Hope comes to terms with the weight of his sacrifice; Noel's eyes are opened to several, shocking truths._


	12. Ignorance Is Bliss

_In the previous episode, a well-executed jailbreak gives Noel a second chance at coming clean to Snow: Serah has passed and he's entirely to blame. As Noel helps Snow back on his feet, Hope awakens and begins to notice the puzzle pieces falling into place, so he takes part in a rescue mission to retrieve Noel's party. Each pawn moves into position, time runs short: The end of the world is nigh…_

* * *

><p><strong>Crystal Fortresses<br>**_Two men seeking to save the future, driven by the burdens of their past: Perhaps they had more in common than Hope once thought._

Episode 12: Ignorance Is Bliss

* * *

><p>Hope and Vanille returned to the port too early, which Hope found strange considering they had taken their time. Upon their arrival they were met by scientists, who proceeded to tell them that preparations for the airship weren't yet finished and that their expected departure time would consequently be pushed back by another half hour. Hope held mixed feelings toward this information, though he did not dwell on it for long as there was little he could do to change the situation.<p>

Vanille, as always, insisted that they look on the bright side: "While we're waiting, why don't we take it easy for a bit? Once we get going, I don't think there'll be time to relax." Hope had already spent days and days 'relaxing' and was not the least bit tired, but he humored the suggestion anyway and followed Vanille to a corner far from the ship.

As they seated themselves and slumped against a nearby wall, Vanille heaved a sigh and closed her eyes, following her earlier recommendation. Hope wondered just how worked up Vanille must have been over the past few days: He knew of Vanille's tendency to hide her feelings for the sake of cheering up those around her, so Hope suspected the exhaustion that came with her constant worry had finally caught up with her.

Hope found himself not minding the silence. Truthfully, when Vanille had suggested that they rest, Hope had braced himself for the talking he knew she was waiting and wanting to give him – or, was she already satisfied with the talk they'd had after visiting Serah? In any case, quiet time to himself was a more favorable alternative. In fact, he openly welcomed the silence: He had not known how much he wanted the time alone until it had presented itself to him. Ever since he gained consciousness Hope had not had time to reflect upon his actions with Pulse, nor had he the time to properly analyze the situation that unfolded during his unconsciousness. With Vanille asleep and everyone else preoccupied, now seemed the perfect opportunity.

Where to start?—Hope's thoughts immediately flashed to Noel. Then, not even a split second later, his face dropped: Guilt. But this emotion wasn't new, he had felt it earlier that day. Hope didn't want to think about Noel's disappointment, so he tried to focus himself on other trains of thought. But Noel's face wouldn't leave him. He imagined Noel wearing an expression like that which Noel had worn when Serah passed—Hope shuddered at the thought. He wondered, briefly, if Noel would react similarly: Hope was alive now, sure, but the life of a l'Cie was a death sentence and it wouldn't be long before Hope would—

"Hope," mumbled Vanille, and Hope was glad for the interruption. Even _he_ did not want to finish that train of thought. "You aren't sleeping."

"Neither are you, apparently," Hope replied quietly.

"You woke me up, just now."

Hope frowned. Had he really jerked that noticeably? Hope mumbled his apology, which Vanille accepted, but though Vanille closed her eyes and became still once more Hope suspected she had not fallen back asleep this time.

Hope sighed quietly. Noel was still on his mind. Hope knew there was no going back on what he had done, nor did he want to. He was now a l'Cie and had accepted the consequences that came with it, even if blindly. As Hope thought more on it, he began to understand that his position with Noel was a question of lesser evils. What would Noel be most disappointed in? Would it be broken promises? That Hope hadn't confided in him? His current uncertainty?—for whatever reason, an answer wasn't coming to him.

Hope feared it would be all of those reasons.

"Hope," Vanille called again, and this time Hope broke into a soft smile.

"Sorry."

"You don't even know what I'm about to say," said Vanille. She then pushed herself off the wall and returned to a seated position, turning to Hope. "So, apology not accepted."

Hope rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine," he mumbled, and then he urged her to continue her thought.

"You're thinking about Noel again, aren't you?"

Hope's sudden surprise caused him to lose his words.

"Oh come _on_, Hope, I know you well enough by now."

"Is it obvious?" asked Hope. Vanille only shrugged meekly in response. "I… don't know what to say to him."

"Hope, do you remember what I said before? There's no use in regretting what you've done. The past can't be changed. You can feel infinitely sorry for what you've done and how it'll affect him, but you made a decision and you can't change what you've done. Even for Noel's sake."

Hope frowned. There was something about Vanille's choice of words that made him uneasy. It was almost like she was subtly communicating a different thought that he simply wasn't picking up on. How _had_ Vanille picked up on his thoughts so easily, anyway? And was it his imagination, or did Vanille's tone of voice change every time they were on the subject of Noel?

No, Hope told himself, he was likely imagining that bit.

"I did it for everyone's sake," Hope said at last. When Vanille only returned his statement with a silent look, Hope continued, "You said you weren't disappointed in me, right? Do you think it'll be the same with Noel?"

It took a while for Vanille to respond. Her apprehensive expression did not leave her immediately; Hope could tell that in her head she was trying to handpick her words before she spoke. When she did speak, Hope was certain this time that the tone in her voice _had_ changed: she spoke with caution, as though she were discussing a sensitive subject.

"You know Noel better than I do, Hope. You would have to be the judge of that yourself. Though, I do find it strange…" and again she trailed off. Hope huffed, slightly put out. In his mind he was now sure that there was some subtle point Vanille was trying to make but just wouldn't say, and her constant trailing off and her evident hesitation were slowly frustrating Hope.

She continued, "Hope, can I ask you a personal question? … What is Noel to you?"

Hope had predicted a question like this, yet somehow he had still been caught off guard.

"What do you mean?"

"How do I put this? … Well, you show a lot of interest in him."

"Interest?" echoed Hope. In the back of his mind, Hope knew he was starting to sound a bit defensive, though it wasn't his intent.

Vanille's expression changed, sympathy replacing her previous hesitance, and she cut in before Hope could finish. "I'm sorry, Hope, I don't mean anything bad by my question. It's just… I missed out on a lot, I guess you can say. But I still think it's strange you show a lot more concern for how Noel will accept your decisions than, say, what you intend to do now that you're a l'Cie… among other things."

Hope did not answer her. His mind was swirling with thoughts of the Thirteenth Ark, namely the final showdown he was certain needed to occur there. Becoming a l'Cie hadn't been a part of that equation at all, yet Vanille had a point. Now that he was a l'Cie, how would things change?—but even that thought found its way back to Noel, because becoming a l'Cie meant erasing Hope from the world he and Noel were trying to save.

Hope sighed. Vanille was right, somehow his thoughts did return to Noel quite often. Was it surprising, though?—he had spent so much time with Noel, had even grown quite close to him. When things hadn't gone Hope's way, when Hope struggled to find an answer in saving the world, Noel had shouldered his fall and put him back on his feet. When Hope did find his answer, when the world stood against him, Noel had sided with him. Noel had been his support through many hardships, and now they were estranged. Of course Hope would be concerned for Noel.

But Vanille didn't know this much. Only then, did Hope understand Vanille's question.

"What is Noel to me," Hope repeated, pausing for a moment. "He's… someone who won't leave my side. That's the best way I can describe it. I don't think I'd have survived this long if he hadn't been there with me."

_We needed each other_, Hope added to himself, though just how true those words were did not register immediately. He was reminded of their exchange when they had first been reunited, after the assault on Port Dexum. Noel admitted that Hope had been his strength. In turn, Noel had promised to protect him. But would that change now that Hope was a l'Cie?

_Let me stand by your side._

_I'll keep you safe._

_Promise me you won't forget me._

As Noel's words returned to Hope, he found himself filled with a strange emotion. It was a feeling he did not recognize: he felt as if his chest were about to burst. He could feel his heart racing – but why? Suddenly, he found himself hoping that Noel had meant those words unconditionally…

Vanille was calling to him, though Hope barely acknowledged her. He was consumed with a sudden thought, that he _wanted_ Noel to still mean those words. More importantly, the thought of Noel taking his words back pained Hope, greatly.

_What is Noel to you?_ Vanille's question echoed in his mind once more. Maybe Noel meant more to him than Hope realized?—but Hope could barely fathom how Noel could be anything more than someone who was important to him, someone who had helped him survive, someone he needed, _wanted_, to stay at his side. Hope tried to communicate this confusion to Vanille, who seemed surprised that Hope was still stuck upon a question she had asked so long ago. Yet the knowing smile she returned to him contradicted her surprise—probably because she expected Hope to over think everything he didn't understand.

Vanille words did not satisfy Hope the least bit. "I'm sorry I brought it up, Hope, I didn't mean for you to get so worked up over it. Maybe after we rescue everyone, you can talk out your feelings with him? Until then, clear your mind and let's focus on staying positive, okay?"

_Talk out your feelings…_ Hope did not quite understand what she meant, but in that moment Ellen's voice called out to them. Vanille offered him one last reassuring smile before standing up to meet the Director; with their conversation having reached a screeching halt, Hope decided to follow Vanille's suggestion to let the matter go for now, but to say Noel left his thoughts completely would have been a lie.

"Hope," said Ellen, once she approached them, "can I discuss something with you—preferably in private?"

"Sure…?" Hope frowned. What could Ellen want to talk about? Hope was slightly apprehensive, if only because it was something Ellen wanted to talk about in private—something she'd chosen to not mention at the strategy briefing. Was she going to confront him about his encounter with the fal'Cie Pulse? Was she going to feed him more theories about Valhalla? Still, there was something familiar about the situation, though Hope couldn't put a finger to it.

"—don't mind me," Vanille was now saying, "no need to look so scared, Hope. You can talk here! I'll just be… hmm… _well_, I'll just be around when you're done, yes?"

But Hope only continued to give her the same, uneasy look. Ellen, whose face passed from confusion to amusement, gave a soft laugh before interjecting:

"Hope, I get that you've been through a lot, so I won't ask you to talk about things that you might not be ready to talk about yet. But truthfully, I only came here to discuss your friend, Serah."

"Serah?" Hope and Vanille spoke simultaneously. Then, as Hope glanced between her and the Director, he added, "There's something I wanted to ask you about her, also. But if we're talking about Serah, I'd like to ask that Vanille stay with us. Serah gave up her life trying to save the world for all of us—I think Vanille deserves to listen to what might be said."

Ellen nodded quickly. "Oh, of course, she's fine… it's the Colonel I'm concerned about."

In that moment, Hope understood the familiarity: It was similar to when she'd approached him at his tent, when she'd informed him that the military had gone to Port Dexum, how the both of them had followed without the Colonel's knowing.

"You're up to something aren't you?" asked Hope, and Ellen gave a quiet but defeated sigh.

"Perhaps. I'd like your opinion on it, first." The Director paused for a moment, glancing around to make sure no other Academy staff was in earshot before dropping to a whisper.

"The Colonel would never approve, but… I think we need to bring her with us."

* * *

><p>"Let's rest for a moment."<p>

Noel couldn't have agreed more. He was unusually weary, though they had only traversed the depths of the Ark for a few hours. Fang appeared to sympathize: at the Lieutenant's suggestion she planted her bladed spear into the ground and leaned against it for support and to catch her breath. Only Snow seemed tireless, his vigor having returned to him; Noel suspected that being a l'Cie had something to do with his lack of fatigue, though it was also true that he'd knocked out the longest during their confinement.

"Hey, we can't stop now!" said Snow in protest, regarding the three fatigued individuals before him in turn. "I thought we were meeting up with Sazh?"

"We are," said the Lieutenant. "That is, assuming the enemy didn't get to him first." Though it was not a thought Noel particularly wanted to entertain, he knew they couldn't rule out the possibility that Sazh had been captured. After all, they had crossed paths with the Ambassadors many times already, and their victories were few; Sazh, meanwhile, was only one individual. However, it was equally probable that Sazh had run into the same luck that they had, that the Ambassadors' activity was also quiet wherever he was now.

Where _were_ all the Ambassadors' soldiers, though? Sure, they were now disguised, so running into an Ambassador soldier wasn't as large of a concern as it had been when they'd first escaped. But even after they'd outfitted themselves with Ambassador Uniforms, they still had not run into any soldiers. Noel found it unnerving—something was happening, somewhere, and they had yet to find out what…

Noel turned to Fang, the only one among them who had yet to speak. She was still bent over her bladed spear, clearly exhausted; Noel would have otherwise found her fatigue uncharacteristic, despite having not known her for very long, but he felt similarly and, after thinking on it for a moment, could understand why she was being worn down so easily. The both of them were accustomed to wearing to lighter attire, whereas the Ambassadors' uniform was thicker and weighed more. Noel wondered why the Ambassadors couldn't wear the same, loosely fitted clothing that Gregor wore, though in the back of his mind he understood the different outfits were tailored to the function of the individual: It was merely wishful thinking on his part, because beneath the uniform he was burning up. Meanwhile, Snow wore that stupid coat everywhere he went and likely didn't find the uniforms a hindrance as the others did, but Noel couldn't even find the energy to explain this much to Snow when the latter only continued to complain.

"It can't be much farther to the ship," said the Lieutenant. He was still trying to justify their need to take a break, though Snow seemed only partially attentive. "If the enemy already got to Sazh and our ship, there's no point in rushing. If they haven't, there's only one way to the ship, so they'll run into us before they reach the ship. It wouldn't hurt to take a breather."

"How about I go on ahead, you know, to scout?" It occurred to Noel for a moment: What if the reason behind Snow's reluctance to take a break was related to Serah? Noel thought back on their talk, hours before, how he'd been able to prevent Snow from throwing in the towel at the news of Serah's passing. Maybe Snow was afraid that idle time would expose him to being consumed in grievous thoughts? A sudden wave of sympathy washed over Noel, though the emotion was short-lived. They couldn't be separated, not after all the trouble they'd gone through to retrieve Snow. Snow _especially _couldn't be let on his own, though this was mostly Noel's own fear of what the man was capable of doing should his emotions unexpectedly get the better of him.

Noel opened his mouth, ready to suggest that he at least go with Snow, but the Lieutenant shot down the idea before he could even make the offer.

"How about this," said the Lieutenant, after Snow still showed no signs of relent. "Give everyone a chance to breathe and I'll explain my relationship to Gregor to pass time. We can continue on when I've finished."

Even Noel's ears perked up at this offer. He, too, was curious. He had totally forgotten the tale Lieutenant Strike had fed the Ambassador charged with 'watching over their cell,' but now that they were far from any pursuers his curiosity was swelling once again. How could he refuse an offer to satisfy his curiosity, especially with the Lieutenant so willing to explain?—Snow was apparently entertaining similar thoughts, for at last he gave in and fell against a nearby wall, awaiting the Lieutenant's story.

Once everyone was seated on the ground and found themselves comfortable, Lieutenant Strike began to speak. He reiterated his full name – Ulhelm Strigor – and confirmed once more that he was Ulhelm Gregor's brother – _older _brother, in fact. Snow immediately spoke up in protest, and Noel felt his irritation rise, but Snow was silenced with one wave of the Lieutenant's hand.

"I'll forgive you because you only just woke up in our era," said the Lieutenant to Snow, "but for everyone's sake there's more I would like to say. First, understand that in no way do I support my brother's actions under his anti-Academy terrorist group. But, also understand that as his older brother, I do feel obligated to honor our familial ties, so I'm still after what's best for him. Naturally, Gregor abandoned our relationship as brothers long ago – except when he's interested in blackmail, of course – and it's been some time since I've given him a talking to: As you might have guessed, Gregor won't see the error of his ways.

"A lot of Gregor's actions, at least in the beginning, were a direct consequence of his sibling complex, and it's partly for this reason that I feel responsible to his actions, even if he no longer regards us as brothers. This will likely be news to you, but the Director – Ellen, as she's surely asked you to call her, though she insists I keep my relationship with her professional, so you won't hear me calling her that when she's around – was a childhood friend of ours. She has always been brilliant in her own right, and even back then we would tease her for being the future leader of the world – the title _Director_ wasn't known to us back then. Ironically, she despised the idea back then, more specifically that so much responsibility be placed upon a carefree person such as herself, but that's beside the point.

"My brother was a very jealous person. Though he and Ellen were closer in age, Ellen was closer to me as a friend. Gregor didn't like this. He accused me of having stolen her from him. Ellen, meanwhile, frowned at us both for our disrespect toward our friendships. She distanced herself from us for a while, and our connection was lost especially when she left Pulse to study at the Academy on Cocoon."

"Wait, y'all were from Gran Pulse?" interjected Fang, and the Lieutenant gave a slight nod in acknowledgement.

"_Gran_ Pulse, my apologies. That distinction was lost with time, as most occupants of Gran Pulse were simply migrants from Cocoon. But moving on… though the governments had already diverged by that point"—here, Fang and Snow gave him confused looks, and after sensing he'd lost his audience the Lieutenant backtracked to explain how the Cocoon and Pulse factions came to be; Noel immediately thought back upon the short history lesson the Lieutenant had given him in the Academy's library, and though this part wasn't news to him he enjoyed being reminded of the history he had missed—"the two factions weren't completely _against_ each other. Those on Pulse and those on Cocoon had differing views and didn't want any involvement in the other's plans, but by no means was there any reason for war. It was acceptable for someone of age to move from Cocoon to Gran Pulse, or vice versa, though it wasn't very easy. My brother was one of these people, though he did not have the means – a part of me now thinks he wanted to chase after Ellen. Whatever his reasons were, I gave up life on Pulse and relocated with him to Cocoon.

"Gregor didn't have the smarts to study at the Academy, so he joined the military – Noel, you're giving me a weird look," added the Lieutenant. Noel jerked, having not expected to be called out for his surprise. But Noel couldn't help his reaction: many parts of the Lieutenant's story were peculiar to him. Gregor had been a part of the military, and now he was the leader of an anti-Academy terrorist group? And if Gregor cared for Dr. Haussen so much, why was he leading a group whose primary objective was to take down the Academy and kidnap her?—Noel kept these thoughts to himself. Shaking his head, he dismissed the Lieutenant's concern and urged the Lieutenant to continue.

"I didn't join the military immediately. I wasn't in the military on Pulse, so serving on Cocoon hadn't been my first thought. I tried picking up a civilian job, but nothing seemed to be working out. I only enlisted after a year on Cocoon had passed, and by that point my brother had already earned himself a promotion. Meanwhile, word spread that a prodigy woman was climbing the Academy's ranks and would no doubt become the Academy's future Director."

_Sounds like Alyssa_, Noel thought to himself. From what he remembered of the woman, Alyssa had also accumulated promotions at an unusual rate, quickly earning herself the position of Hope's personal assistant. He was briefly reminded of the conversation he'd had with Hope about her, namely how she appeared to have vanished from history entirely, but before he could ask if the name sounded familiar the Lieutenant had moved on with his story.

"Several years after my enlistment, my unit was assigned to protecting the Director-of-that-time and his team on a research expedition. Ellen was on this team, so she and I were reunited. She was very pleased to see me, and during our downtime we talked often and caught up on the lost years. She asked about Gregor, and I told her we were both in the military. When the expedition had finished, she asked me to pass him greetings on her behalf, but because Gregor was on a jealous streak and was currently ignoring me, I didn't have the chance to pass on the message.

"After that point, Gregor and I saw a lot of unusual promotions, likely by her influence – and if our promotions had really been by Ellen's influence, Gregor had been oblivious to it. Gregor was not pleased that I'd caught up to his rank – because of his sibling complex, our relationship became very competitive, and he sought out every advantage he could so that he would be promoted above my rank once more. Meanwhile, I was rather apathetic toward his 'competition,' which only pissed him off further.

"The gasoline to the fire was when I was promoted to a Lieutenant. He'd had enough. It had never been my intention to set my brother against me, but somehow I'd managed exactly that. He quit the military, shouted obscenities and called me out for having joined the military to use him and steal Ellen from him again. His hatred for me was immense, and I didn't understand how he had come to his conclusions, so I did nothing to rectify his opinions of me. I yelled back at him just as angrily, and after each of us had run out of insults to throw at the other he disappeared.

"Years passed, and the relocation to Bhunivelze had begun. The Academy was among the first to move; Ellen and Colonel Euledin were appointed heads of the Academy's academic and military divisions, respectively. The overall process took some time: relocation of citizens was one of the few items on Hope's project proposal from 400 AF that fell behind schedule. In most respects, however, Hope's agenda was adhered to, and though he'd unexpectedly disappeared he was still very much revered for his genius and incredible foresight.

"I digress. Anyway, not long after Ellen's promotion, she came to me in a panic. As it turned out, she and Gregor had been in correspondence since his leaving. His letters were cryptic but informative enough: Within each letter, Gregor begged Ellen to leave the Academy so she wouldn't get hurt. It's fairly obvious now that at that time he was already affiliated with an anti-Academy terrorist group, but neither of us knew it then. I knew he despised me, but I had not been aware that his hatred extended to all the Academy.

"His last letter to us was in early 500 AF, shortly before Hope's awakening. He hinted at a coup d'état, stating he possessed a key which would win him his revenge. That was the last we heard from him. After that… well, you know the rest."

The Lieutenant paused for a moment, as if allowing for the others to ask him questions. Noel, indeed, had questions for the Lieutenant, but his mind was still racing to organize all the information he'd just been given – if anything, Noel had too many questions. Had Snow's crystal statue been the 'key?' Or was there something else Gregor still possessed? And what exactly were Gregor's views of Dr. Haussen now?—Gregor had seemed very violent at Port Dexum, not hesitating to attack her and Hope. Things still weren't matching up.

"I suspect part of why Ellen ended up at Port Dexum was to confirm things for herself. Even I was still a bit surprised to come face to face with my brother. It was probably both a blessing and a curse that Gregor chose not to acknowledge me as his brother. Ellen and I confronted the Colonel later about it, of course. We assured him we wouldn't let our past interfere with our ability to make good decisions. Still, a part of me wants to save him, since I was the reason he set off on that path."

"And the Colonel didn't have anything against it?" asked Noel. The Colonel he knew had always given him trouble, which said plenty considering his time spent serving the Academy's military had been very brief.

The Lieutenant laughed. "Noel, I understand you and the Colonel met in unfortunate circumstances, but I do assure you he's a competent leader. That said… yes, he did question the both of us, quite thoroughly at that. But if you still doubt my loyalties—"

"No need," interrupted Snow. "But now that you've finished, can we get going again?" Noel rolled his eyes and turned away: typical Snow. Still, he couldn't help but to think Snow really had believed the Lieutenant without question…

"In a bit," replied the Lieutenant. He regarded Snow apologetically before shrugging. "I know, I said when I finished, but let's rest a little longer. I suspect you're more tired than you might realize."

As expected, Snow had put up a bit of a fight, though it was nothing compared to the resistance he'd had before; though his words made it clear he didn't want to rest, the fatigue which showed upon his face told everyone otherwise. Very soon even Snow had given in, and ironically he was the first among them to fall asleep. Fang snorted something along the lines of 'stubborn git' before closing her eyes also, though Noel suspected she was not asleep.

"You getting any sleep?" Noel turned to the Lieutenant, then shook his head in response. There was too much on his mind. Noel doubted he would get much sleep if he tried. "Mind keeping watch?"

"Yeah, sure." He gave the Lieutenant a quick nod before turning away. The corridors were still surprisingly absent of Ambassadors soldiers, and though it was certainly a concern at the moment he had no complaints. No soldier presence made for an easier night watch.

Noel was tired, he could feel it the longer he was seated, but even if he were allowed to rest he still felt he wouldn't fall asleep; maybe comfortable was a better word. Meanwhile, his thoughts were beginning to untangle, and all the partially formed questions he hadn't been able to ask moments before were now fully fledged and feeding into his curiosity. Most of his questions were rather unimportant: Noel trusted the Lieutenant, Gregor's key had likely been Snow's crystal statue, Gregor's personal feelings for the Director had likely diminished if he was still following through with the Ambassadors' main objectives…

Still, it was a bit difficult for Noel to fully understand the Lieutenant's position. Noel wondered if it was similar to the relationship he'd had with Caius—more specifically, having to fight against someone with whom you once shared a common past. Though Noel hadn't had any siblings of his own, Caius and Yeul had been the closest he'd had to family while growing up, so perhaps it was the same…

_And I lost them both_, Noel quietly reminded himself, which prompted the question: Who was his family now? Noel was strangely reminded of a dream he'd had while traversing Pulse, a dream where he and Hope's friends—_but not Hope_—had lived together. Had that been family? But Hope had been absent… though Noel could no longer recall the specifics of the dream, he briefly wondered where Hope would have appeared.

_I wonder how he's doing now._

Noel sighed to himself. It was so long since he'd last heard news about Hope. How many days was it now since they'd last seen each other, surely Hope would have woken up by now? Or what if Hope had slipped into a more critical condition—no, Noel couldn't afford to entertain that possibility. Still, weeks must have passed already, and if Hope really were still unconscious…

Noel wasn't sure how he did it, but somehow he managed to slip into a dream. He was in Academia—which naturally didn't make sense as Cocoon had already collapsed, but if anything it was a sure sign that what he was experiencing was indeed a dream—but the foreboding, red sky that once foretold a dark future was not present. In fact, it was the opposite: the skies were clear, the people bustling around him cheery, all danger forgotten.

Noel was confused, though his body seemed to know what it was doing. He was walking somewhere, with purpose. Several times he glanced around, and he was able to make several observations: First, the people didn't seem to acknowledge his presence, and on several counts Noel was sure someone had walked straight through him, as if either he or they (or both) were ghosts; second, positioned in the sky was a crystal star, and often Noel found himself having to shield his eyes from the light it refracted.

After a while, his body came to a stop, though he stood before no one or nothing of significance. Noel was puzzled for a moment, but not before a voice called out to him:

"Hey, Noel!"

Noel turned, though he already knew it was Hope's voice. Noel opened his arms to Hope, though Hope stopped just short of his reach, as if hesitant to close the distance. Noel frowned and crossed his arms childishly (uncharacteristically so, Noel acknowledged vaguely, though a dream it were), displeased for being denied something he _clearly_ deserved; Hope gave a laugh and only matched Noel's reaction.

"_You_ come _here_," Hope insisted, and Noel rolled his eyes. It was a cute exchange, though it didn't occur to Noel until after the dream that it wouldn't have happened in reality. Without question Noel accepted the fabricated Hope's demands, stepping forward to wrap his arms securely around Hope's waist; if Hope had leaned a little too much into his embrace, it went unnoticed by Noel.

"Did you miss me?" asked Hope, and for some reason Noel found himself shaking his head. "What, you didn't?"

"Of course I did. I just wanted to see how you'd react."

"You're terrible." Hope pouted, to which Noel only grinned.

"You'll think differently of me when I make it up to you later."

Though Noel subconsciously acknowledged it was only a dream, the blush that came over Hope's face was priceless.

"_Anyways_," continued Hope, who was now practically burying his face in Noel's shoulder, presumably to hide his embarrassment; "Light was looking for you. She wanted to tell you that it's almost time."

"Almost time?" Noel paused for a moment to reflect upon Lightning's words, but he couldn't come up with anything—not that his dream self was trying very hard. Almost time for _what…_?

* * *

><p>Noel woke up to those words resounding in his head.<p>

"Time to get going," said the Lieutenant, nudging his side one more time. Noel nodded several times absent-mindedly, first in acknowledgment then apologetically: he'd fallen asleep when he was meant to be keeping watch. But the Lieutenant did not seem upset, so Noel was quickly able to let it go.

His dream, however, was a little more difficult to forget about. _Everything_ about the dream was unrealistic—the setting, his relationship to Hope, Light's supposed words—and no matter how hard he tried it wouldn't leave him alone.

_What could it mean? Almost time for what_…? Deciding it was impossible to reach conclusions on his own, Noel pulled Snow behind the others to ask him for his insight. If Noel remembered correctly, Lightning had come to him once in a dream also, so Noel figured it would still be a good place to start.

"You think Light was trying to tell you something?" asked Snow once Noel had finished summarizing his dream, and to Noel's disappointment that was about as helpful as Snow got. On the subject of Hope, however, Snow had much more to offer.

"Sounds like you and Hope were awfully friendly in this dream of yours, if you know what I mean." Noel nodded, if only to be spared an explanation. "And you're saying it's not like that between you two?"

"Not really, no." Hope wasn't the reason Noel had come to Snow, so on the one hand Noel was a bit annoyed that Snow couldn't help him figure out the part about Lightning, which Noel was sure was more important. On the other hand, Hope's portrayal in the dream was equally puzzling, so Noel had no protests and let Snow continue.

"Okay, don't take this as fact or anything, this is just what I think. Serah used to always tell me that all dreams have meaning. I mean… well, you know what Serah's dreams were like… but I'm sure there's a bit of truth to what she said. In your case… maybe that kind of relationship with Hope is something you've imagined or wanted at some point?"

"Hey," Noel cut in warily, though he had nothing else to add. Their relationship as portrayed in that short dream was mostly valid, especially their hugs (though, Noel had trouble trying to remember if Hope had ever leaned back before). His taunt was the most suggestive part of his dream—and as Hope's blush-streaked face resurfaced in his mind, Noel was suddenly faced with a sudden onslaught of questions he was sure he would never have thought to ask before.

"Now you're blushing," remarked Snow, and Noel snapped defensively in response before he could even stop himself. Noel did not blush, or so he believed anyway. "I mean, I don't want to be the one to put it in your head, especially if you don't really feel that way, you know? But you and Hope already have such a close bond with each other, from what I've gathered, and clearly you've entertained the idea at least once."

"What idea exact—?"

"Infatuation."

The rest of Noel's sentence died in the silence that followed.

Did he… could he… really see Hope…?

"Or, you know," continued Snow, who became slightly uneasy after Noel's silence; "whatever beginnings you two might have, or whatever. But if something happens, don't be afraid to face it. I mean, look what happened with Serah and—"

"I don't—"

"Noel, just promise me you'll give it a try. I'm not saying you do or don't like Hope, but give it a chance if it comes up. All right?"

"I… whatever." Noel still had much retort in him, but Noel chose to spare Snow the argument. Besides, the Lieutenant was already glancing suspiciously at them from over his shoulder, and Noel didn't want to draw any more attention to the subject than he already had; Noel had a gut feeling that the Lieutenant would side with Snow if he were to join their conversation.

Snow had been meant to shed light on his indirect encounter with Lightning, damn it!—though, Snow _had _mentioned that dreams all had meaning (according to Serah, anyway), so that had to apply to Lightning, too. The question now was whether those words had actually come from Lightning or if his subconscious had used Lightning for the purposes of his dream?

_Or maybe none of it is supposed to mean anything and I'm just over thinking it all_.

_But what about Hope?_

Noel scoffed at himself and shook his head. He couldn't believe he was actually having an internal argument with himself. But, there was still one point he couldn't deny: even if the dream didn't mean anything, everything else afterward had been real: namely, Noel's reaction to the face Hope had made _in a dream_, as well as the questions that'd come to mind in response.

Snow was right, Noel decided. He couldn't just shoot the idea down. Ironically, despite Snow's supposed intentions, Snow _had _been the one to put the idea in his head, and the more Noel entertained the thought the more he found himself wanting to ask Snow more questions; that Noel was giving it any thought at all was likely because Noel had run out of other thoughts to occupy his mind with. Even if Noel didn't want to revive the subject, he still found himself wishing he'd asked Snow how he and Serah had started out, how Snow had known he loved Serah.

It wasn't that he was in denial about Hope. Noel already knew Hope was a very important person to him, if not the very reason Noel continued to push on. Hope was his motivation, protecting him was his last chance at redemption—but did that really mean Noel liked him?

His question received no answer, and instead he almost walked right into the Lieutenant: apparently, he had asked their party to stop for a moment. Noel's curiosity was quickly replaced with fear; by the way the Lieutenant's hand was raised, Noel had a feeling they were no longer alone, and only shortly after the thought came to him were his suspicions confirmed:

"Hey, over there! Hands above your head where I can see 'em!"

They had finally been found by the enemy. Immediately Noel complied; disoriented by his own panic, it did not even occur to Noel that they were disguised in the enemy uniform. The Lieutenant, however, seemed mindful of the situation and confidently stepped forward, keeping his hand raised as if to identify himself.

"Relax," he said. "You're in good company." There was a small pause, in which Noel wondered if their uniforms were believable enough of a disguise, but before Noel's worry got the best of him the soldiers relented and took a step back.

"False alarm," one of the soldiers muttered to another, giving a nod at Lieutenant Strike's uniform. Still, Noel was not convinced it was safe to lower his hands until he was prompted to do so.

"What brings you down here?" said the first soldier. He beckoned them to him with a wave of his hand, and without question the four followed him and his unit. Noel glanced over his shoulder – they were now walking in the direction opposite of their ship. Noel supposed it couldn't be helped; _Besides_, Noel told himself, _these soldiers had just come from the ship. If Sazh were still at the airship, they probably would've found him and we would already know about it._

So, Sazh had fled. But where was he now? As they continued to walk with the Ambassadors Noel tried to think of the possibilities, but he was drawing blanks. If only he had a mind like Hope's!—Noel was certain there was something obvious he was failing to take notice of…

"…I see," the soldier was now saying. Noel frowned for a moment, then remembered the question that had been asked of them moments before. He had somehow missed that conversation entirely. "Apologies for the lack of correspondence, then. Actually, truth is, we _have _been trying to reach main camp all this time, but I think the signal's getting jammed down here."

"How odd," Lieutenant Strike remarked, mostly to himself, though the Ambassador soldier still acknowledged it and nodded in agreement.

"It really is. By the way, how's the situation back at camp? Have the waves ceased yet?"

"Situation hasn't improved," said the Lieutenant quickly, just as Noel had asked himself what 'waves' the soldier could be talking about. Noel kept his admiration to himself: the Lieutenant sure was good at thinking fast. That, or the Lieutenant really did have insider information—but the Lieutenant had assured them he was on the Academy's side, and Noel had full faith in the man's loyalties.

"If it weren't for that damned l'Cie activating the Ark, things wouldn't be such a mess now. I mean, it's nothing we can't handle, but having to reallocate our men to make sure Pulse armaments don't wipe out our main camp is just…"

Noel didn't catch the rest of that sentence. Slowly, things were falling into place, he now understood how they'd been able to wander the Ark without interference from the Ambassadors. Fang had mentioned that the Arks were a training ground for the l'Cie. If Noel remembered her words correctly, then the l'Cie in question was undoubtedly Snow. The reason for the lack of soldier presence?—the Ambassadors were too focused on defending their main camp. And as for why Pulse armaments were unpredictably attacking the Ambassadors' main camp?—because Snow had awoken from crystal stasis and had activated the Ark.

But Snow had not been meant to remain a l'Cie, had he? Vanille and Fang had lost their Brands; meanwhile, Snow had kept his, having claimed something along the lines of 'having asked to stay a l'Cie for a little while longer.' Noel wondered if Snow had known this would happen, though he quickly withdrew from that possibility –_ there's no way Snow would've known he was brought onto the Ark in the first place_, Noel thought to himself. So, Noel concluded that luck had been on their side, this time.

Noel dismissed the thought and returned to the present conversation, where the Lieutenant was speaking:

"We were asked to recall your unit to help in the defense of the main camp once your investigations have been completed. That's where we're headed, correct?"

"Is that so?" Noel's heart skipped a beat. The Lieutenant was being too daring, they were opening up too many opportunities for inconsistency. Noel was fearful their cover would soon be blown. "Shortly before we lost signal, main camp assigned us to investigating another site. Surely you caught that radio?"

"Must've missed that one," replied the Lieutenant nonchalantly. "Signal and all, you know. Anyway, I wouldn't consider your investigations finished, then. We'll head there first."

"Sorry again for the inconvenience," said the soldier, nodding. "The damn signal, I swear." Noel drew in a quick breath; either the soldier was really gullible or he was merely playing along. Either way, Noel made sure to keep his wits about himself.

As they continued to walk in the narrow chambers of the Ark, Noel took a glance at the rest of their company. Many of the soldiers seemed clueless about their current objectives; they all seemed to be following each other, whispering occasionally among themselves. Either way, Noel considered their position incredibly lucky: the Ambassadors soldiers seemed to be structured in such a way that only the heads of each unit were well-informed, while the others mindlessly followed the leader. Because the Lieutenant was doing all the talking, the four of them had unintentionally slipped into that same structure, preserving their disguise for a little while longer.

The conversation continued on, though Noel was only partially listening to what was being said. In fact, he only gave his full attention to the Ambassador soldiers when they mentioned something about "another Academy airship," and even then he'd done a double take to make sure he'd heard correctly.

"Probably to rescue them other soldiers before they get executed," the soldier said, chuckling with amusement. "That's all right, either way, Gregor'll just execute them all. Of course, if it weren't for those blasted Pulse armaments, we could give them a proper entrance like last time…"

Noel laughed inwardly. If only that soldier knew the real identities of the people his unit was accompanied with. Noel wanted to ask if there was any word of who was on that airship—namely, if Hope was among them—but he couldn't figure out a clever way to ask without giving himself away.

What happened next occurred so quickly Noel barely had time to take it in. One moment the soldier was laughing his head off—something about how foolish the Director herself supposedly was for boarding that airship—and the next moment a loud _BANG!_ filled the air, knocking everyone off their feet. Someone was casting Ruinga at them, but who…?

Noel did not have time to think, for another explosion had gone off. This bomb had detonated further away from Noel, so this time Noel was able to catch the sounds of a something whirling through the air. Meanwhile, the Ambassador soldiers were frenzied: They were under attack but could not identify their attacker. Some were shouting 'Pulse Armaments;' others yelled 'booby trap.' Noel suspected neither was the case, though his suspicions were only confirmed when he caught sight of a boomerang swooping down upon them…

Realization overcame him in an instant. He knew there was no mistaking that boomerang. Immediately he threw off his helmet, and after tossing it at the nearest, unsuspecting soldier he then unsheathed his swords and began his unannounced ambush, with his companions quick to follow suit. The rest of Noel's disguise was rather heavy for his usual battle style and found his movements slower than usual due to the extra weight, but Noel still held the surprise factor over his opponents and thus was still able to easily overcome the Ambassador soldiers.

During his fights and his constant shouting of Hope's name, Noel tried to analyze the situation. Though there weren't many people present, the area had quickly become a battlefield of chaos. Hope's boomerang was ever-present, though Noel did not catch sight of Hope himself. More Ruinga spells were being cast from somewhere outside the fray and shouting from both parties filled the air.

Despite the commotion, the battle was short-lived. When the last Ambassador soldier had fallen, Noel stripped himself of the Ambassadors' uniform and spun around in a wide circle, eyes frantically scanning the walls for signs of Hope's presence. Still, he could not find Noel. But Hope was here, he _had _to be, there was no mistaking that boomerang…

Then, just as Noel was prepared to call out for Hope, a voice called to him first:

"Hey, Noel!"

Noel broke into a wide grin. Even without ocular proof, Noel knew it was Hope. Turning to the voice anyway, Noel caught sight of Hope walking toward him, and as Noel began to ask himself how he'd hadn't noticed Hope there before he was blindsided by a sudden wave of familiarity. It was only when Hope stopped just before him and gave him a questioning look that Noel understood why.

_Damn you, Snow. _Then, turning his attention back to a confused Hope, Noel opened his arms to him and waited expectantly. Unlike dream Hope, this Hope—the _real _Hope, Noel reminded himself, and he delighted in the fact that it was his Hope standing before him, after so many weeks of constant worry—accepted the invitation without delay, nearly knocking Noel off his feet.

"I missed you," said Hope after a while, though their embrace was so tight he was practically talking into Noel's shoulder. After pulling away slightly, Hope added somewhat playfully, "I can't believe you left me by myself. What happened to always staying by my side?!"

"Hey now," Noel warned, and Hope broke into warm laughter: music to his ears. Hope was a bit cold to the touch, but Noel overlooked this fact for the moment. He was still in disbelief that Hope was really here on the Ark, physically in his arms, alive and well. "I left you in good hands, Vanille was with you. But forget that for a moment—I'm just glad you're safe, Hope. You really had me worrying, you know."

Hope tensed in his arms: only slightly, but enough for Noel to notice. Noel knew he would need to get a bit more out of him later, but for now it could wait. He was euphoric, to the point he'd totally forgotten the presences of the Lieutenant, Fang and Snow. He didn't even feel the urge to throw Hope's boomerang at Snow's knowing, smug grin. Noel was just glad he had Hope back.

* * *

><p>Hope felt terrible.<p>

It wasn't that Hope wasn't happy to be reunited with Noel. He _was_ happy to see Noel again, he really was. Hope had meant to hug Noel, had done so tightly to show just how much he'd missed Noel. It was the first time Hope had seen Noel since their trials at the Faultwarrens; even for Hope their travels felt so long ago, and he had been unconscious for most of that time. But he still felt terrible, and the feeling only grew worse the more Noel smiled in his direction: Hope couldn't bring himself to tell Noel the truth.

Subconsciously, Hope touched his forearm—he could almost feel the Brand pulsating. It hurt him to think about how Noel's smile would fade if he ever caught sight of the Brand, how disappointed Noel would probably be in him for his choice of actions. Hope remembered on Bhunivelze when Noel had expressed his relief that Hope was safe. _Don't go making my new job difficult_, hadn't Noel said?—instead of heeding Noel's words, Hope had gotten himself a death sentence.

Hope turned away from Noel, too racked with guilt to face him at the moment; even if Hope did have the resolve to come clean with Noel, he didn't yet know how he would go about telling Noel. But by diverting his attention from Noel to greet the rest of his companions, Hope ran into a second problem: Snow. This time, Hope was a bit late on the uptake, and it was only after Snow greeted him with "Hey, Hope. It's been a while, hasn't it?" that Hope remembered both the circumstances of their meeting in Academia 400AF and his crystallized statue at Port Dexum. Hope was reassured to see Snow free from crystal stasis with his own eyes, because it was more tangible evidence that Hope's sacrifice had meant something, but at the same time he felt uneasy. He owed Snow his thanks for rescuing him in Academia, as well as an explanation for Serah; briefly, Hope wondered if Noel had already broken the news to him, but Hope didn't dare start that conversation unless first prompted.

Once Hope had finished greeting everyone (and because of his inner monologue, this passed far more slowly for Hope), he began to explain the situation from the Academy's point of view; Hope had not been awake during the majority of the developments, but since he did not have the help of the Colonel or Ellen with him Hope was forced to recap as best he could.

"The Colonel and the Director took a unit of soldiers to search for everyone," said Hope, in conclusion to his briefing, "while I was asked to guard the airship to secure our escape route. Remind me, when we return to the airship, I'll try contacting them to let them know we're now only missing Sazh. Our comm devices aren't working very well in the Ark, though we knew this coming in."

"We've heard reports of that from our end, too," said the Lieutenant. "It's been giving the Ambassadors some trouble. Speaking of which, how were you able to tell we were in disguise?"

Hope gave a nervous laugh: Truthfully, he hadn't known, not until after Noel had thrown off his disguise.

"Wait," began Noel, before Hope could make up an excuse for himself, "you were out here on your own?" Hope turned to Noel and nodded, though he did not meet him in the eye. Hope was scared to follow Noel's train of thought, scared Noel would figure something before he even had the chance to talk it out with him.

"Then, who was casting all those Ruinga spells? Did you figure out how to cast magic again?"

"Well, no.…." This much was the truth. Though Hope _could _cast Ruinga now (not that Hope would dare, considering Noel knew of Hope's former difficulties in wielding magic), the Ruinga spells used in their earlier battle had actually been a result of several Ruinga bombs Ellen had lent him for the purposes of protecting the airship. When Hope explained this to him, Noel's face fell. If anything, it was a precursor of Noel's reaction to Hope using actual magic… or Hope being a l'Cie….

Hope was not looking forward to it, at all.

To break a silence which had crept upon them, Fang cleared her throat and spoke next: "What about Vanille? Is she here?"

"She's at the airship, with Se—"

But Hope had cut himself off too late.

"Serah? Serah's here?" All heads turned to Snow, whose expression Hope found difficult to read. Snow seemed surprised, but he was also devoid of the surprise Hope would have expected from him. Had someone told Snow, then?

Noel, who wore an expression of equal surprise, seemed to sense Hope's troubles, and he interjected before Hope could respond:

"He knows, Hope."

Hope felt a wave of relief wash over him. Doing his best to not let it show, Hope continued, "We brought Serah along with us, though the Colonel doesn't know yet." Here, Hope looked warily at the Lieutenant, feeling relieved again when he did not react negatively.

"Why?" This had come not from Snow, as Hope expected, but from Noel. Hope didn't dare turn to face him, for the confusion in Noel's voice made him uneasy. Hope had a feeling he understood why: When their journey began, the intent had been to let Serah rest in Hope's home until they were able to give her a proper burial. By bringing Serah to the Thirteenth Ark, Noel was likely considering one of two options: either Hope was fulfilling his promise, or there had been a change of plans.

Truthfully, it was the latter. But Hope didn't know how to explain that, not just yet.

Snow spoke next, "Hope, can you lead us to her?"

"Of course. Though, someone will need to keep guard here—"

"I'll do it," said the Lieutenant. Hope nodded in acknowledgment. He had hoped for this outcome, mostly because the Lieutenant was affiliated with the Academy, and Hope did not want Ellen to get into trouble for going on a hunch without the Colonel's approval. (Then again, there was also much to be said about their having been able to bring Serah onto the ship without his knowing.) "Just lend me some of those Ruinga bombs."

So it was settled: With Lieutenant Strike watching their backs, Hope led Noel, Snow and Fang toward the airship that awaited them at the corridor's end. Despite being among familiar faces, Hope couldn't help but to feel on edge: There was too much on his mind.

"Feels like a small reunion," said Snow, oblivious to Hope's dread. "Who would've guessed, huh? All of us fighting together once again, here at the end of the world."

_Except Serah_, Hope thought to himself, before he could stop himself. He didn't dare mention this out loud.

"We got Hope here to thank, don't we?" said Fang, giving Hope a congratulatory pat on the back. It felt more like a thwack, and Hope made sure she knew this by yelping in both protest and pain.

"Seriously, Hope," said Snow, mirroring Fang's sign of affection; "You're the man."

Hope thought Fang's had hurt, but clearly he hadn't known the true definition of pain, because Snow's thwacking had _hurt_.

"I should be thanking you, actually," said Hope, turning to Snow. "You're the one who keeps saving my life."

From the corner of his eye, Hope swore he saw Noel tense, but another thwack on the back had sent Hope sprawling on the ground before he could turn to Noel properly.

"Hey, stop that!"

"Nah, no apology needed," said Snow, as if having not heard Hope's request. "Just doing what I gotta do."

Snow flashed him his trademark grin before offering a hand; though Hope rolled his eyes at typical Snow Villiers, he accepted Snow's hand and helped himself to his feet.

"But think about it, guys," continued Snow. "Vanille's back at the airship, Sazh is… somewhere on this Ark. We're just missing Light, right?"

No one answered him. Hope could almost feel the others' gazes turning to him in silent question. He knew what everyone wanted from him, he could feel the desire emanating most from Noel. They all wanted an explanation: What had happened at the Faultwarrens, what he'd done to release his friends from crystal stasis, if he knew anything about Light…

And then a sudden thought occurred to him; it wasn't the first time he'd asked himself this, but in that moment the uncertainty of the answer had a greater impact on him. With Snow's last words echoing in his head, and having now been reminded of his gamble with Pulse, Hope began to wonder if Light would really return to them if all the ex-l'Cie were gathered together.

But more importantly—and in the cherished company of his friends, this weighed most heavily on Hope's mind—if Light did return amidst their reunion, if his end of the bargain was fulfilled,

Would he really turn to crystal?

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Posted:<strong> 10 Feb 2014  
><strong>Last Edited:<strong> 08 May 2014

Just as a reminder, this story (obviously) completely ignores the events in Lightning Returns (and XIII-2 DLC) but is meant to be some sort of canon (and I guess, now, alternative) continuation of XIII-2.

_Upcoming: Noel is harshly reminded that not everyone can be saved._


	13. The Last Calm

**Crystal Fortresses  
><strong>_Two men seeking to save the future, driven by the burdens of their past: Perhaps they had more in common than Hope once thought._

Episode 13-1: The Last Calm

* * *

><p>Time passed more quickly once they were reunited with Vanille. Because of her indomitable spirit, Hope felt less burdened by his troubles. Even with so much weighing heavily upon him, Hope was able to find consolation in watching Fang mother over Vanille's condition and in laughing at Vanille's flustered responses.<p>

Snow hung around to catch up with Vanille, but only for a brief moment; then, he was gone, presumably to pay Serah a visit. Readying his condolences, Hope prepared to follow him—he still needed to apologize to Snow, because he felt he was partly at fault for what had happened to Serah—but Vanille held him back.

"He'll be fine," said Vanille, "he needs this chance alone."

Hope did not argue with her. So, to allow Snow the time to grieve for Serah, he and Vanille decided to show Fang and Noel around the airship.

"You call this beauty an airship?" said Fang in awe. "It's bigger than the one we took. Might as well call it an air fortress."

"Our mission was only to recover Snow and bring him back safely," said Noel. "Somehow, I suspect the Academy had higher purposes this time."

Noel glanced at Hope, as if to seek affirmation. Instinctively, Hope gave a stiff nod, even though he wasn't confident in that hypothesis, either.

"Neither Ellen nor Colonel Euledin have disclosed anything, but I'm quite certain those two have their own agenda. As far as I've been told, though, this is exclusively a rescue mission."

Noel only shrugged and had no response. Vanille's voice now filled the air between them as she assumed the role of unofficial tour guide. Hope knew why Ellen wanted Serah aboard the ship with them, but why had Ellen wanted to see the Thirteenth Ark for herself? Was it so important to put herself in danger, knowing full well the anti-Academy terrorist group was after her?

_Then again_, Hope thought to himself, _that's just how Fang is, isn't it?_

"Hey, Hope," Noel whispered suddenly into his ear, and Hope turned so quickly that their heads collided.

"Ow…!"

"Crap, I'm sorry!" Hope apologized quickly, but Noel shook his head dismissively. Hope noticed the tension he thought he'd sensed from Noel before was not present. In fact, Noel had smiled for a moment. To that end, perhaps their accident had cleared the air, somewhat.

"Is the real reason you brought Serah just so that Snow could have closure?"

Hope hesitated, then shook his head. Bringing Serah for Snow's sake was a convenient justification to their intent, at best. But it wasn't his or Ellen's main reason, no. It could have been easy to tell Noel otherwise, but Hope was already keeping enough secrets from Noel as it was…

"Then, why did you bring her here?"

But Hope wasn't ready to talk about that subject, not until Snow was present to hear what he had to say. After all, where Serah was concerned, Snow deserved to be the first to know. So, after giving Noel this logic, Hope instead asked Noel to catch him up to speed on how and when Snow had been told about Serah.

As they talked, they passed several rooms filled with scientists who were relentlessly attempting to fix the communication jam. Suddenly reminded that they still needed to reach the Colonel and Director, Hope paused Noel so he could relay the message: "If you manage to contact them," Hope hastily told one of the researchers, "please let them know that we're only missing Sazh Katzroy."

It wasn't long thereafter that Hope's troubles began to consume him once more. In the end, Noel had come clean with Snow. Hope knew how difficult it must have been for Noel—not only because Hope was aware of how much Noel had suffered from and blamed himself for Serah's passing, but because Hope was now constantly faced with that same anxiety. He hadn't been explicitly asked, but he knew it was Noel's intention to ask. Hope thought to himself, if Noel had been able to tell Snow everything, shouldn't he be able to do the same for Noel?

A sudden tapping on his shoulder roused Hope from his thoughts, and for a panicked moment he suspected Noel. But it was only Vanille, who smiled sweetly at him.

"You need to relax," she whispered. Clearly, she had read him like a book. A small smile came upon Hope, but the nervous chuckling that followed did not go unnoticed by an observant Noel.

Vanille continued, "You haven't figured it out yet, have you?"

"Figured what out?" Vanille only nodded her head toward Noel. Feeling a tinge of embarrassment, Hope narrowed his eyes at her, casting cautious glances at Noel. Thankfully, he hadn't been looking.

"Hey, careful."

"I told you to relax, Hope. You'll only give yourself away if you stay worked up like this." She paused for a moment to turn to Fang; no words were exchanged, but somehow Fang understood her silent request and began to engage Noel in idle conversation.

Hope had to admit, he was rather impressed.

"Figured out what to say to Noel, silly."

"What? …oh."

Vanille knew him too well.

"Yeah, I guess I haven't. He was able to tell Snow about Serah, even though Noel despises him. I owe it to Noel, but I just don't know how to start."

"Maybe you're over-thinking this, Hope," said Vanille. "Sometimes it's easier if you don't plan for things and just… _do _them."

"It's not so much I'm planning it out, I'm just… preparing for the worst, I suppose."

Vanille sighed. Hope wondered, was she frustrated at him?

"Maybe it'll be easier if a chance presented itself—no, Hope, I'm not going to tip him off, don't worry," Vanille added, noting the sudden panic that had come over Hope. "I'll just… take Fang elsewhere so you two can talk alone. How's that?"

Truthfully, Hope didn't want Vanille to leave. His problems were only alleviated because of Vanille's presence, and he was sure that being left alone with Noel would only increase his anxiety tenfold. But at the same time, Hope knew he needed this opportunity, because telling Noel was something he _had_ to do, even if he wasn't completely sure yet how to go about it all. Being thrown to the wolves wasn't exactly a tactical strategy he was comfortable with, though his earlier experience as a l'Cie told him he could certainly manage. When he viewed it from that perspective, Hope knew he couldn't keep making excuses any longer.

"Sounds like a great idea, Vanille."

But it wasn't Hope who had spoken, for Noel had taken the words right from his mouth. Hope's eyes grew wide — when had Noel come up behind them, anyway, hadn't he been with Fang moments before? As Hope anxiously began to wonder just how much Noel might have heard, Noel continued, "Actually, better yet, how about I just… take Hope elsewhere so we can talk alone. Same thing, really, except this way Hope doesn't get a say."

"Noel…" started Hope, but Noel threw a cheeky grin his way and Hope's retort was lost. Was Noel mad…? Hope couldn't even tell. Noel's words and his facial expressions were contradicting each other.

"Right." Confused, Vanille turned to Fang, who only offered her a shrug. "When you're finished, find Snow. Let's meet up there."

"Gotcha." Before Hope could figure out what was going on, Noel dragged him away from the Pulsian women. Hope could almost hear his heart pounding. His mind was racing, in disarray, he could barely retain any one thought in his head. The only thought Hope could manage was an acknowledgement of how Noel's hand felt warm in his. He couldn't even decipher whether Noel was mad at him.

"Sorry for eavesdropping," said Noel offhandedly. He led Hope to an empty room. They'd passed this room earlier: Hope wondered if Noel had spent Vanille's entire mini-tour looking for the room with the most privacy.

Noel continued, "Vanille wasn't being very quiet about it, and I've been meaning to talk to you anyway."

"How much did you hear?" asked Hope, though it wasn't until Noel spoke again that he realized his blunder.

"Not much, I guess. I only wanted to talk to you about small things, but now you've given me a reason to believe you're hiding something from me."

"I wouldn't say _hiding_…" mumbled Hope. It was rather ironic, Hope thought to himself: Vanille had told him to watch his behavior to avoid suspicion, but it was this conversation that had given him away in the end. There was no avoiding it now, Hope supposed. Noel had him cornered and had every intention to hear him out.

Noel was still holding his hand, the thought kept returning to him, as if this warmth was grounding him: a reminder that Noel was someone from whom he sought consolation, even when he feared confrontation. For a fleeting moment Hope found himself longing for that warmth, though the answer to _Why_ did not immediately come to him. Maybe it was because Noel's warmth was comforting. Hope wasn't really sure.

"Cheer me up?"

The words left him instinctively, surprising Noel just as much as they did himself. But once that moment of surprise passed, Noel understood, despite the many weeks since the request was last made. Only when Noel had his arms wrapped securely around Hope did the latter come to understand it wasn't the warmth he longed for, but Noel himself. He considered the explanation only for a moment, maybe Vanille had been right in saying he should talk things out with Noel, but Hope soon realized: It didn't matter whether he knew why. He took comfort in Noel, but his days were numbered. And when things came down to it…

These weren't particularly new thoughts, though it only made the torment all the harder to bear. Hope thought he'd been prepared, but each time he felt he'd come to terms with the decisions he made, it only came back later to bite at him again. He was mentally exhausted from the mere thought of having to tell his friends the sacrifices he'd made, the actions he took for a future he wouldn't live long enough to take satisfaction from.

Every hero was vulnerable to mistakes, Light and Noel and Snow had all made plenty. The question was, had _he _made a mistake?—_No_, Hope quickly told himself, _it wasn't a mistake_. He wasn't like Light, Hope couldn't just steel his emotions and accept things out of the necessity to keep moving forward, not without fighting himself first. But even Light had struggled at first, hadn't she? Hope remembered her internal struggle at the Vile Peaks, how she'd fought with herself by forcing herself to charge recklessly, how they had all failed to see her trying to reach out to them.

"Hope, talk to me," Noel whispered. Hope shuddered, Noel's voice tearing through his conflicts like lightning streaking an already dark, overcast sky. Suddenly, he felt vulnerable. Exposed, almost. Every word Noel spoke bore into his heart, pounding at the barriers until Hope gave in. Noel was offering a hand to him, figuratively, so why hadn't he taken it yet? Whether he told Noel would not change the outcome: It would only change how much Noel suffered in his absence.

Put under that light, Hope knew what needed to be done. His days were numbered. Hope wanted to be there for him, for as long as he could.

There were tears trickling his cheeks now, tears he did not mean to shed. When Noel raised a hand to wipe them away, they only continued to fall. It was not the first time he'd cried into Noel's shoulder; he hoped it wouldn't be the last, but the thought only caused him to sob harder.

Very soon, all of this would be gone.

The world he knew, company spent with Noel and everyone else…

No, Hope told himself.

They wouldn't disappear.

_He _would.

Hope was struggling for words. Noel's comfort was helping him to take tiny steps forward, but it was also a painful reminder of what he would be giving up. Noel swore to stay by his side, and this was how Hope meant to repay him? By leaving Noel's side first?

_Sometimes it's easier if you don't plan for things and just… _do_ them._

Vanille was right. The longer he delayed, the more he was psyching himself out—because of his own presumptions, no less. There was only one way for Hope to figure out how Noel would really react. Hope couldn't read Noel's heart. So, Hope closed his eyes and, entrusting himself completely to Noel, proceeded to tell him his tale at last.

* * *

><p>Noel couldn't believe what he was hearing.<p>

Hope, a l'Cie?

Noel didn't want to accept it. Maybe he had misheard?—no, Noel had heard him clearly, Hope's terseness and his grave countenance were confirmation enough. Noel also trusted Hope to understand a given situation most, especially if it involved himself. He couldn't call Hope a liar, could he?

Noel didn't even have an answer to that. Though it was so long ago now, Noel tried to look back on their travels on Gran Pulse. What if Hope had set off knowing this outcome? Hope had assured him his only aim in meeting Pulse was to free his friends from their crystal sleep, nothing more, and Noel trusted Hope when he said this. But had Hope known this alternate solution existed, had he set off from the Academy knowing that, if things didn't work his way, he could sacrifice the promise of life to get his friends back?

Had Noel been conscious in that dire moment, would he have dared to stand between Hope and his goals?

But Noel knew that, even if he didn't fully understand, even if he wasn't sure if he liked what he had heard, he _had_ asked for the truth and Hope _had_ given it to him. Hope had made his choice with conviction, and Noel did not want to insult his judgment, even if he suspected Hope had acted partially on desperation. In his previous travels, when Noel tried to stop Serah, she'd only pressed onward; Hope would surely show that same persistence. Noel couldn't just reject him, not when Hope was relying on him to be his strength. Even now, the Hope in front of him was stretched thin, and Noel could only guess how much inner turmoil Hope had already suffered in coming to terms with the consequences and in bringing himself to confide in someone he felt would be disappointed in him.

_Was_ he disappointed in Hope? Noel wasn't sure, but he was certainly heartbroken. It was _exactly_ like Serah all over again: Even if Noel succeeded in protecting Hope from everything that threatened to stand in his way, Noel could not keep Hope from his own desire. And maybe that was all he could do, now, to make sure Hope lived long enough to call Lightning back into the world; the weight of his own thoughts pained his heart.

_No, _Noel told himself, _You can't think like that_. On that airship to Port Dexum, when Noel had first set his sights on protecting Hope, his ideals and his dreams, somehow Noel had envisioned a future in which Hope hadn't been a sacrifice—Hope, of all people, deserved to see the future saved.

"Noel?"

"Yeah, Hope?"

Noel kept his thoughts to himself. Maybe as time passed, the truth would sink in. But for now, Noel needed to be strong for Hope. Noel didn't want to lose him any earlier than he had to.

That was the right thing to do, wasn't it? – It was what he _needed_ to do.

"Say something…"

Noel remembered, he was meant to cheer Hope up. The tears weren't there, but Hope's eyes were still red. How was Noel supposed to pick up the pieces when he himself had fallen apart, too? Sure, holding Hope in his arms gave him some sense of security, but even that wasn't enough to quell the storm in his heart.

"Damnit, Hope."

In his dream, in a distant future, he had held Hope in his arms, too. That dream meant nothing now, because Hope would not exist in the future: Hope would be crystal, just like the star that had shone above them…

No, that wasn't entirely true. They needed the promise of a future to push onward. Their relationship in the present was important to him, regardless for how much longer it would last. The dream still meant something, though exaggerated as it may have been. A future, a relationship with Hope, Lightning—it represented everything they were still chasing after.

"Noel, listen—" began Hope, the panic rising in his voice, but Noel interjected.

"I'm not mad, if that's what you're afraid of. Or disappointed, or anything really. Truthfully, I don't know what I'm feeling or what to say, but one thing's for sure: I'm not abandoning you."

Noel paused to allow Hope a chance to speak, but Hope had nothing to offer.

"I guess… I was prepared for something like this, from the moment you first suggested you would seek out Pulse. I respect your choices, Hope, I know there are things you just have to do. I guess… this is one of those things. I said I'd protect you, stay by your side, and if that means having to shepherd you to the altar so you can sacrifice yourself for our future, then hell if I let you come to harm's way before that day. I just wish there were another way."

"You sure don't pull punches, Noel." Hope muttered. "I don't know how I was expecting you to react. And when you say it like that, I'm not sure how _I'm_ meant to react."

"Sorry," Noel said, chuckling to himself quietly. To his relief, Hope let out a soft laugh, also. "You're important to me, Hope. And I'll admit, I'm not looking forward to the day when I'll have to lose yet another important person in my life, right before my very eyes yet again. But it can't be undone, and if there's really no other way, I'll make sure the future doesn't die along with you."

"Thanks Noel."

Noel only nodded his head in acknowledgment. He couldn't think of anything else to say, did not know how to respond to being thanked. He really _hadn't_ pulled punches, perhaps he'd been a bit too harsh considering his intentions – but Noel did mean everything he said.

_What I said… was that okay…?_

Completely oblivious to Noel's thoughts, Hope continued, "In a flimsy attempt to lighten the situation a bit, if you don't mind my asking: How did you manage to shake off Fang? The both of you were talking, right?"

"You mean when Vanille sent her as a diversion so you and Vanille could have your little talk?" Hope nodded, causing Noel to laugh. His conversation with Fang had been so out of the blue. It was so painfully obvious to him now, in hindsight, that Fang had been sent to distract him. "She was trying to 'talk sense' into me, so I fed it right back to her. I convinced her I'd talk with you straight only on the condition she do the same with Vanille. I imagine they're having a talk of their own right now."

Hope stared back at him, puzzled. "Talk sense into you? About what?"

Noel shrugged, his smile fading a bit. "Same stuff everyone else has been on about. Nothing important."

_Literally everyone_, Noel added to himself, though putting Snow in the know had been his own doing. He'd had two dreams, now, in which dream-Hope had been the object of dream-Noel's affection. But Fang, Sazh… even Lieutenant Strike, they all acted differently whenever Hope was concerned:

_I'm not saying you do or don't like Hope, _Snow had said to him, _but give it a chance if it comes up. All right?_

_I won't tell Director Estheim your secret, _Lieutenant Strike had said, so long ago Noel was surprised he could still remember it.

And from Fang, _Hope's that important to you, huh?_ _Does he know how you feel? Better to do it before it's too late._

It only made sense once Snow had mentioned it explicitly, but did they all really see an infatuation for Hope that Noel could not?

"Hey now," began Hope, a bit of playfulness in his tone of voice, "I told you what was on my mind, it's only fair you tell me what's on yours."

"Fair, huh," Noel said to himself. He would hardly have thought to use that word. Still, Hope did have a point. This was nothing in comparison to what Hope had to bear. Besides, Noel was mildly interested in what Hope had to say on the subject.

_Before it's too late, huh? _Noel said to himself, echoing Fang's words. More like, before Hope turned crystal. He wondered if Fang knew just how close to the truth her words were.

"Everyone seems to think I'm infatuated with you, Hope."

Noel paused, noticing Hope's eyes widen in surprise. Admittedly, he wasn't satisfied with the reaction: It was too ambiguous, there was no fear or repulsion or delight upon Hope's face. Hope's own feelings were unreadable, not that he understood his own…

What reaction had _he_ been expecting?

When Noel first entertained the thought with Snow, never would he have dreamed he'd actually bring it up with Hope. He wondered, maybe, if it was in light of what Hope had said that he was now saying these things to Hope, because unspoken sentiment would leave him with nothing but regret. If that were the case, that would mean he was also acting out of desperation, in fear of Hope's life: Did that make him any different than Hope?

"Are you?"

Noel did not answer immediately. Hope seemed… nervous? Noel's hesitation stemmed not from what Hope had asked, but from his own uncertainty. Having come from a dying world, Noel had not experienced infatuation in the same way most humans did. He had loved Yeul, but it wasn't infatuation. If anything, Noel understood loyalty.

"I told you," said Noel. "You're important to me."

It wasn't a direct answer, but it was the truest answer Noel could give him. At first Hope only chuckled (_He almost seems disappointed, _Noel thought to himself), presumably having not expected that kind of response. But then his face softened, and something about the shy smile Hope offered him had Noel's mind racing…

"Well, you're pretty important to me too, Noel."

Noel wasn't sure why, but he felt his heart burst.

* * *

><p>So as to not keep everyone waiting, Noel and Hope set out to regroup with the others not long after their exchange. There was still much that was left unsaid, especially on Hope's part (Noel had not asked Hope to explain his answer, at the risk of having the question rebounded), but enough had been said to reach a mutual understanding. Noel knew where Hope stood, in most respects. He knew what he needed to do to continue to support him. Everything else, he could figure out as they went along.<p>

As they engaged in more casual conversation, Noel thoughts drifted to the subject of Hope's past. When he and Hope traversed Gran Pulse, Hope shared with him his experience as a l'Cie, how society had ostracized him. Back then, Noel could not sympathize; even now, he didn't really understand the populace's fear. Noel had not been raised in that society, there was nothing ingrained in his head feeding him falsities that suggested anything associated with Gran Pulse was irrefutably evil. Had Hope not said anything, Noel would never have been able to tell he was a l'Cie again; belatedly, Noel understood from where Hope's fear had stemmed, why it had been difficult for Hope to share with Noel the actions he'd taken at the Faultwarrens.

In Noel's eyes, Hope still had his humanity. He was very much the Hope Noel swore to protect, human or l'Cie.

They arrived to find Snow, Vanille, and Fang all waiting for them. Snow was distraught, Noel could tell, even despite his attempts to hide his grief from everyone. This time, Snow had more than just Noel's word, he had seen Serah with his own two eyes. Noel was surprised Snow was able to compose himself at all.

"Talk to us, Hope," said Snow the moment he caught sight of him. So, Hope began to explain: According to him (well, according to the texts Hope had read, anyway), Serah's presence was needed to bring Lightning back, because it was said that the ex-Pulse l'Cie needed to gather on the Thirteenth Ark. At least, that was how Noel interpreted Hope's explanation. He did notice Hope had left out a lot of details—namely, what he'd done to wake his companions from crystal sleep and the fact that he was now a l'Cie.

Now that Noel thought on it, did Hope know Snow was still a l'Cie, too? Did that mean Snow would also be missing from the future they were trying to save?

"Assuming we take these _texts_ as absolute truth for the moment," began Fang, turning to each of them in turn; "we're all already here, aren't we? Vanille, myself, Snow, Hope. Serah's in there. Sazh is… well, he's still on this Ark somewhere—had we known, he should've just stayed with us instead of manning the airship."

"We needed to secure our way out," Noel reminded her.

"What about Sazh's kid, Dajh?" asked Snow, but Vanille shook her head.

"Dajh wasn't branded by a Pulse fal'Cie."

"So we're all here then, aren't we? You think Sazh has to be physically with us for it to work?"

All eyes turned to Hope, as if expecting him to answer all their questions. But Noel knew that, while Hope was intelligent and many other different things, he was certainly not omniscient. Noel supposed none of them could have any real answers, not until they were reunited with Sazh.

But… Hope had called his bargain with Pulse a gamble, hadn't he? Did Hope have any real guarantee Lightning would really return to them under these conditions? What if he'd wrongly interpreted the mythological texts?

_No,_ Noel told himself, _I can't afford to doubt him like that. _Noel didn't want to entertain the thought that Hope had given up his life for no purpose.

"What if we go out and meet Sazh?" suggested Fang. "At least, join up with that Lieutenant, he'll probably need the back up if that nasty fella shows up again."

_Gregor_, Noel said to himself. He hoped Gregor would not come round anytime soon – Gregor had decimated them during their last encounter. He knew the Ambassadors had their hands full with the Pulse armament attacks, but given they eliminated the party that had been sent to investigate, there was a good chance their absence would rouse suspicion…

Vanille spoke next.

"But someone's got to watch the ship!"

"We're not _all_ Pulse l'Cie, are we?" This time, all eyes turned to Noel, and it took a moment for Noel to catch on. He wasn't needed to fulfill the mythological texts. If he stayed behind, everyone else could reunite with Sazh…

"I refuse to leave Hope's side again," Noel said firmly. As he ignored the expressions on Snow and Fang's faces, Noel then added, "Besides, if you all go and leave me here, you'll still be missing Serah."

"What's the hurry with meeting Light, anyway?" asked Snow. "Is she the only one who can fix the world, or something? I mean, if what Hope says is true, she's going to wake up regardless of how soon we make it happen. Am I missing something?"

But Snow _was_ missing something – and by the look on her face, as was Fang. But Vanille knew, just as Noel did, and they glanced simultaneously in Hope's direction. They _were_ in a hurry: Hope's days were numbered, and should Pulse have a reason to suspect that Hope wouldn't hold up his part of the bargain…

"Bringing back Light will probably mean the end of the world," said Hope, before Noel could finish the thought. "The world should have ended the day Etro was destroyed, but Light did something. The fal'Cie Pulse said it himself, he told me he was being denied Etro's Gate. Protecting the end of the world from God's Wrath is hardly a task someone can manage on their own, even for someone like Light. She has faith in all of us, I know she does: If she comes back to us, if she stops delaying the end of the world, it's because she knows that, together, we are all strong enough to save the world."

"And if she doesn't come back?" challenged Fang. "Who wrote this prophecy garbage anyway? Who's to say any of this is accurate? What if this is all just some fal'Cie fabrication?"

"Better than to die without a fight," said Noel. Fang opened her mouth to retort, but a gentle nudge from Vanille and a shake of her head was enough for Fang to bite her tongue and cool off a bit.

Snow gave Hope a defeated look. "You understand the situation better than any of us," he said, nodding in head. "Can't say I really have much left going for me, not with Serah gone. But I do want to see Light again, so count me in."

"Thanks, Snow." Hope then turned to Noel, immediately breaking into a small smile. In turn, Noel smiled also: He was glad Hope didn't doubt his intentions.

"I guess it is thanks to you that we're alive, ain't it?" said Fang, nodding at Hope. "All right, all right! You've convinced me. Geez, why do I feel like the bad guy all of a sudden?"

"Fang's just being her usual self," said Vanille with a laugh. "You know we all believe in you, Hope."

* * *

><p>In the end, the five of them came to an agreement that there was no use in actively seeking out Sazh, lest they engage in an endless cat-and-mouse chase, so despite Noel and Vanille's former concerns they decided to wait for Sazh to find them first. Instead, their focus was directed toward protecting the airship and establishing the Academy's haven in enemy territory. While Hope continued to emphasize the need to secure their escape route, Noel suspected Hope himself had little intention of leaving the Ark, if everything he'd told the others was true. But for the sake of the Lieutenant, the Director, the Colonel, the Academy's researchers—those who <em>belonged<em> to this era and had been sucked into this mess, voluntarily or not—Noel understood they still needed to secure the airship, so that they could send home all those who did not need to become any more involved than they already were.

With nothing to do now but wait, Hope suggested they first get some rest before discussing any future plans of action. Noel did not need telling twice; for the first time in a long while, Noel was able to rest well. With the Lieutenant on the lookout, and having been reunited with Hope at last, Noel's mind was at peace. (As an added bonus, the airship's cots were far more comfortable than the floors of the Thirteenth Ark, on which Noel had been sleeping for longer than he could remember.) Both physically and mentally drained from being fugitives scurrying throughout the Ark, Noel slept soundly, not waking until a small nudge roused him from his sleep.

Still somewhat drowsy, Noel opened his eyes only slightly, vaguely noting that Hope had climbed into his cot. Noel found himself not minding. Hope was cold, Noel noticed offhandedly; a few moments later, Hope verbalized this fact in his sleep talk. Figuring it was what Hope was after, Noel slipped his arms around him, and after pulling him close he passed into a dreamland once more, a world where he lived blissfully alongside Hope.

The nights continued in this way for a while: Noel would retire to his cot, then find himself accompanied by Hope sometime during the night. Noel guessed Hope's reasons were more than just him being cold, though Hope's skin did feel unnaturally cold to the touch. He never asked Hope about it the morning after, though they did acknowledge it in passing jokes. ("If you're afraid of the dark, you should just say so," Noel would tease him, if only because he took a strange delight in Hope's reactions.) Eventually, Hope's habit became something they both accepted as the norm, to the point Hope would crawl into Noel's cot without even trying to sleep on his own first.

During the day, Hope committed himself to helping the scientists at the Communications HQ overcome the signal jam that was preventing them from making contact with Sazh, Dr. Haussen and Colonel Euledin. Noel was tasked with securing the airship: Between Noel, Snow and Fang, a rotational shift had been worked out so that the Lieutenant did not have to keep watch on his own. Noel spent every day at the lookout, bringing supplies at the beginning of each day and returning to the airship by night; Fang and Snow alternated with each other, each joining the Lieutenant for a full day and a full night before being relieved by the other. Vanille, meanwhile, spent all her time at Serah's side, and depending on the day she was accompanied by Snow.

A week or two passed in this fashion, with no signs of activity at the lookout and Hope without luck in communicating the others. It made Noel a little uneasy: Where could the Colonel and Director be? What of Sazh? Were the Pulse armaments really bombarding the Ambassadors to the point they could not leave their main camp? Admittedly Noel did not mind the change of pace, but he knew things couldn't stay this way forever. The end of the world was upon them, they only had so much time left….

One night, when Noel returned from his shift at the lookout, he found Vanille at the Communications HQ. At first Noel figured she was checking up on Hope, as he knew the pair shared a close bond, so he was pleasantly surprised to find that she had actually been waiting for him, not Hope. It seemed she was aware of his habit to check in with Hope each night.

"Care to join me for a walk?" The request seemed innocent enough. Hope was consumed in his work, anyway—he hadn't even acknowledged Noel's arrival, nor did he respond when Noel and Vanille informed him they were leaving—so Noel obliged and followed her out. Noel hadn't talked to Vanille often, especially not alone, though this was mostly because they never had the opportunity or a reason to.

Noel wondered what Vanille would want to talk about, namely if there was something specific on her mind or if she just wanted the company, but he didn't have to ponder the thought for very long. Once they were clearly out of earshot Vanille was quick to speak her mind.

"Hope's told you, hasn't he."

So, Vanille wanted to talk to him about Hope. Noel was both curious and fearful. She was close to Hope, so on the one hand Noel was interested in her insight. But he was also scared for what she might want to talk with him about, because she _knew_ Hope's situation: There was still the chance she was here to enlighten him with information Hope had failed to mention.

"That he became a l'Cie again to save his friends from crystal stasis? Yeah, he told me."

"How do you feel about it?"

"What do you mean?" What was Vanille asking of him? Or was it better to ask, _why_ was she asking? A part of Noel wondered if Hope had put her up to this, but she seemed too genuine to be speaking on someone else's behalf…

"Hope has things he needs to do, and I'm going to make sure he's got the means to see it through."

"But how do you _feel_ about it?"

Noel grew tense: Clearly, Vanille was looking for something more specific. But he'd already answered her, he'd told her his intentions—but intentions weren't feelings, were they? It then occurred to him, he didn't need to put up a front for Vanille. Hope needed his strength, so Noel had to let go of his feelings before he could really feel them in order to support Hope in any way he could. But for Vanille, it wasn't necessary.

_Maybe it's the same with her,_ Noel thought to himself. Maybe Vanille was here because she wanted to put to rest uncertainties she couldn't confront Hope directly with.

"I don't want to speak on Hope's behalf," continued Vanille, "but I do want to give you a perspective he may or may not have shared with you already. See, from the very beginning, Hope's had a lot of people taken from him, people he cherished dearly or looked up to a lot. His mother, Lightning, Serah…"

"Alyssa," offered Noel, and Vanille nodded.

"Yes, Alyssa, too. And, well… while he hasn't lost you, he does look up to you, Noel. Myself also, but in my case Hope knows what I am to him, whereas you've got him all tangled in knots."

"What do you mean?" Noel asked, but Vanille did not expound on this thought. Noel had a feeling he knew, though. Everyone else he knew was hinting at the same thing.

"What I'm trying to say, Noel, is that this time he's losing everyone all at once, because he's losing himself. He has always been the type of person to draw strength from those around him. He's more terrified than he lets on, Noel. I imagine that more than ever, he'll be looking to you for strength.

"But a sword is only as good as the steel it's made from, right? If someone sells you a rusted sword under the claim it's top-quality steel, it will only fail you in battle. Steeling your emotions isn't good enough, Noel, nor is hiding yourself away for the sake of fighting for Hope. If you haven't fully accepted things yourself, if you take up your sword with that kind of conviction, it'll only cause Hope's courage to waver. So, I want to ask you again: I know what you _intend_ to do, but how do you _feel_ about it?"

"How do I feel…?"

A dam within him was unleashed. Noel's heart grew heavy, as though he were experiencing several emotions all at once. He felt angry, because _why hadn't he stopped Hope from walking into his own death, damnit_? Hadn't this been a burden they were meant to share together? He felt betrayed, because after having confided in him Hope went and did the one thing that Noel feared most, forcing Noel to have to watch yet another person die outside of his control. He felt defeated, because he'd been helpless when it'd have mattered the most. He felt heartbroken, because damnit would _anyone_ he loved be in the future they were trying to save?

When Noel had first found out the truth from Hope, he built a wall to protect himself from his personal feelings before he could experience anything. Now that he was trying to face himself, the emotions he had bottled up were now rushing through him all at once. Vanille was right, he couldn't just steel himself, he needed to accept Hope's actions. What if that dam had broken in Hope's presence? – What kind of strength would he be, then?

"Noel," began Vanille, calling Noel to his senses, "I care for Hope a lot, and I'm sure you do, too. So promise me one thing? Don't abandon him when he needs you the most—and I don't just mean leaving his side. Being a l'Cie will take its toll on him, psychologically. The going won't be easy for him, so make sure he never gives up, even if he thinks everything he's done is hopeless. Don't give him a reason to doubt. And most importantly, if he's wrong, if Lightning doesn't come back…."

"Give him a reason to stand up again," finished Noel, and Vanille nodded.

"Hope's our future, Noel. I know Lightning knows this, I know she believes in him, wherever she is right now. I believe in him, too, and I'll support him as much as I'm able. But the truth is, right now he's depending on you the most. The fact that he sleeps with you every night proves this, he trusts you more than he trusts himself right now. He doesn't know what you are to him, Noel, at least not when I last asked him. But what he does need to know is that you'll be there for him unconditionally, and you need to be there to remind him in case he forgets."

Noel did not answer immediately. Noel had been faced with Hope's desperation before, and look how that had ended: Noel had failed to prevent Hope from spiraling out of control, he hadn't been there to stop Hope from seizing the only opportunity that had presented itself to him. Had he even helped Hope explore other options? Or had he been too confident in thinking he could protect Hope from anything that came his way?

There was no use dwelling on the past. Noel knew better, now that he and Vanille were on the same page. This was more than just blind resolution in an attempt to overcome grief. If he wanted to help Hope this time through, he needed to face his denial, face _himself_.

* * *

><p>When Noel returned, he found Hope already asleep in the cot. He smiled, making a mental note to tease Hope in the morning about having gone straight to sleep instead of waiting for him. What made Noel the happiest about the sight before him was how peacefully Hope was sleeping, despite the amount of responsibility that Noel knew was on his shoulders. He knew that peace would not last forever, but at the very least it meant everything was okay for now.<p>

"He didn't even leave any room for me," said Noel with a disapproving laugh. It was mostly to himself, though Noel did pause to listen for a response from Hope – just in case Hope was playing a trick on him. But Hope said nothing, he did not move. Shaking his head, Noel proceeded to gently push Hope until there was just enough room for himself to lie down.

"Everyone trusts you, you know," whispered Noel. He was talking to Hope, of course, but he said it as if the ceiling were his only audience. "You've got old friends who don't know the context of your actions but still trust your judgment. You've got strangers who don't know your merit but still find truth in your words. You've even got civilians who trust your judgment as if you were one of their leaders. You are literally everyone's hope."

Noel turned to face Hope. He was still asleep.

"I want you to promise me, Hope. Promise me if you die, it's only because you have to. All these people need you in their future, Hope. Vanille needs you… _I _need you."

Noel let these last words linger, the air broken only by Hope's steady breathing. He needed Hope, Noel said these words to him over and over and over, not stopping until it was the most certain thing on his mind: He wanted to spend his future, the rest of his life, alongside Hope. If there were some way he could save both Hope and the future, then Noel would do it. Hadn't Hope been freed once from the fate of a l'Cie? – if they succeeded in saving their future, maybe there could be still be some way to save Hope?

"I _will_ save you, Hope," said Noel, his last words before drifting off to sleep.

Hope's twitching next to him went unnoticed.

* * *

><p>The following morning, Noel woke up sprawled on top of Hope, who greeted him with endless complaints about being crushed beneath him.<p>

"But you're an excellent pillow," teased Noel. Clearly, it was not the first time they'd woken up in this position. "Besides, that one's entirely your fault, you were hogging the entire bed. I had no choice but to sleep on you."

"You could've woken me up!" Noel laughed in carefree amusement. He hadn't told Hope the honest truth, but Hope's reactions were more fun this way.

"If you really can't let it go, why don't I make it up to you tonight?"

"Tonight?" The sudden pink in Hope's cheeks, the way Hope's eyes grew wide… it was strangely familiar. And it hadn't been Noel's intention, but he found himself suddenly …

"Yeah," Noel said quickly, mostly to derail his own train of thought. He climbed off of Hope before he could embarrass himself in any other way any further. "You can use me as a pillow tonight. You know, to make it even."

"Oh… right…" Hope pursed his lips, bowing his head a bit. "If you're offering, then sure. Hey Noel, about—"

But Hope did not have the chance to finish. Just then, the doors burst open, a breathless Fang stopping before them. Fang's presence itself wasn't surprising, as she had likely come to fetch Noel for their next shift. But the manner of he entrance was alarming — _Wait_, Noel thought to himself, _wasn't Fang already meant to be at the lookout_?

Noel had walked with her yesterday, meaning she either had already returned and Snow had left without him, or…

"We've got a problem," said Fang once she caught her breath, finishing Noel's thought. Already alarmed, Noel quickly rose to his feet, Hope scrambling shortly after him.

"A problem?"

Fang nodded hurriedly.

"Yeah, a big one. Gregor attacked the lookout. Says he got Dr. Haussen captive."

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Posted:<strong> 02 Nov 2014  
><strong>Last Edited:<strong> 02 Nov 2014

Probably one of my favorite chapters to date. Probably don't need to explain why. To anyone still reading this, apologies as usual for the incredible delay.

_Upcoming: The final showdown begins._


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